Cliches and Things They Say
by heatherlea75
Summary: Jackie is looking forward to the new direction her life has taken. Hyde is happy with the same old, same old of his. But when once faces a familiar and seemingly inevitable situation, and the other an unexpected dressing down, both reevaluate their lives.
1. It's The Little Things

**Disclaimer: **I don't own.

**Warning: **Mild language

**Author's Note: **I was going to wait to post this until after I finished "Convincing", but decided to post now. To keep me motivated to write it.This is set post series finale. For those of you who've read "Reawakening" and "Convincing", you know that I do my best to stay true to the characters as portrayed on the show, but will expand and grow them. This story, in particular, will involve certain people growing up a great deal.I always read more into the characters on the show than actually shown, and this is how I see them.(I'm just saying all this because I know some people don't really like any out of character-ness, and wanted to be upfront about it.) I hope this will interest you!

Clichés and Things "They" Say

Chapter One – It's the Little Things

_They say that where there's smoke, there's fire. Hints of truth in the smallest things, the tiniest of feelings, the most insignificant happenings. Gut instincts. Suspicions. Rumors. Speculation. _

_They say that everything means something. _

_And they say that everything happens for a reason. Fate. Destiny. Romantic notions of "meant to be". _

_There are no coincidences. _

_Everything means something. _

_Everything happens for a reason. _

_All clichés. _

_But they also say that something becomes cliché because it has the ring of truth. _

_**January 15, 1980 **_

It was the littlest thing that made him start thinking about her again. When she wasn't around. When she and her new _boyfriend_ weren't around. A note she'd written to him when they were still in high school, shortly after they'd started dating. Stupid, silly, shallow. Just like her. Except she wasn't stupid. Not very silly, except when she was high or drunk. And despite the surface she so carefully cultivated and presented to the world, not really shallow at all.

He closed his eyes and tossed the note back where he'd found it a few weeks ago, under his cot.

Why couldn't it, and everything else she'd ever given him, or left and never come back to get, miraculously get lost?

He'd managed to lose her, after all, why notall the little things that reminded him of her?

It was for the best. She was a vindictive, self-centered bitch. She was everything he hated. Mean, rich, bossy. Obsessed with being part of the establishment. Everything he railed against. Everyone had been right about them. They'd been sick and wrong. Destined to end badly.

They'd met their destiny. Satisfied their fate. Guess in that sense, they'd been a success.

"Hey, Hyde! Come on! Charlie's Angels is on!"

He sighed and rubbed his temple. Damn headache. Must be the fact that he hadn't had a drink yet today. That would have to change. Soon. Now. He stood up and left his room, heading for the main room of Forman's basement. Another day in Point Place, Wisconsin, and his wonderful life. Hardly working at the record store his new black father had given him. Coming home, hanging out with a group of friends just as lazy and unmotivated as he was. Spending his free time in the circle and getting as drunk as possible as often as possible.

If there was more to life than this, he wasn't interested. Wasn't worth the bother. Anything more only ended up screwed up. He'd learned.

He stood up and walked out of his room and into the main room of Eric Forman's basement. Everyone was there. Kelso, Forman, Donna.

Jackie on Fez's lap.

In his chair.

_She used to sit on my lap. On my chair. _

It's the little things that mean the most. Good or bad.

He stopped by the lawn chair and glared at them. His jaw tensed as tightly as his stomach now felt wound up in knots. He didn't care, of course. It didn't bother him that her fingers were in the back of Fez's hair. That Fez's hand rested on her hip, his other on her thigh. No. He just wanted his chair. It was _his_. Everyone knew that.

"Out of my chair."

Fez frowned. "Can't you sit somewhere else for once, Hyde? We were here first. And we're all settled in." He smiled adoringly up at Jackie. "My goddess looks so beautiful in this light."

"OUT, Fez, before I kick your ass."

They stood up and moved to the couch. Eric and Donna moved down for them, and Fez sat down. Jackie perched herself once again on his lap, and Fez grinned. "Oh, it does not make any difference. My angel is still gorgeous wherever we sit."

Hyde stared hard at the television, but in his peripheral vision saw Jackie nuzzling Fez's cheek. And murmuring something to him as she did. Probably recycled words she'd once purred to him or Kelso. She wasn't very original.

He heard the smack of a soft kiss.

But he didn't give a damn. The fact that his head was now pounding like a bass drum in a marching band halftime show, and that his stomach felt like a ball of barbed wire meant nothing. Only that he needed a few beers. He had his chair, and now if he had a beer or two or ten, he'd be all good again. "Kelso, do something useful and grab me a beer."

Kelso, sitting in the lawn chair and idly bouncing a ball on the floor, pouted. "Why can't you get it yourself?"

"'Cause I want YOU to get it. Besides. You're closer to the shower."

Kelso rolled his eyes, but he could sense that Hyde was in a bad mood. Hyde was violent when he was in a bad mood, and he didn't want to start anything. His arm was still sore from the last time he'd started something. "Fine." He shook his head, stood and walked to the shower. "Man, it was better when Sam was here to get you beer." He walked to Hyde, handed him the can and smiled wickedly. "I always used to stare at her ass when she bent over to kiss you. And she had a fine, fine ass."

Fez grinned. "Well, why don't you give him a kiss, Kelso? We can all get a glance at your fine, fine ass." Everyone looked at Fez, and he shrugged. "Oh, come on! You've all thought it and you know it!"

Jackie rolled her eyes. She was becoming used to…well, at least she was trying hard to…her boyfriend's…well…eccentricities. He adored her. Worshipped her. Bought her presents and gushed over her all the time. That made it all worth it. Well, she hoped it would, eventually. "Yeah, why don't you, Michael?" She smiled nastily at Steven. "It would be the most action he's gotten since his whore…I mean, _wife_ left him."

Eric grinned. "Now, that was a good burn."

Donna chuckled. Not often that Jackie had the presence of mind to burn anyone, and it was amusing to see the master of burns be burned himself.

Kelso nodded, his smile wide. "Oh yeah!" His smile fell and he looked at Hyde. "Not that I'm gonna do it or anything." Nervously, he stumbled back to the lawn chair.

Hyde said nothing. He stared at the television set. Her taunts weren't worth acknowledging. Just a stupid little thing.

_It's the little things that mean the most. _

_Whatever. _

Jackie shook her head. "Going Zen, huh, Steven? Truth hurts, I guess."

She didn't know why she was being so nasty to him. It felt good, though. It felt good to watch the slight movement in his jaw that she knew only she noticed. The tiny pursing of his lips. The way his left hand curled briefly into a fist. No one else realized what that all meant.

It felt good to be nasty to him. He deserved it. He'd married that whore. Stayed married to that whore. He still hadn't been punished enough for what he'd done.

"Would everyone shut the hell up?" Hyde snapped, ignoring Jackie's voice, ignoring the weight of her eyes on him. "You're interfering with my appreciation of Farrah Fawcett."

Fez sighed dreamily and gazed at the television screen. "Ah, yes, Farrah. The goddess of all goddesses."

Jackie frowned and swatted the back of Fez's head. "I thought _I_ was the goddess of all goddesses."

Hyde snorted. "Right. Maybe the goddess of all goddesses in hell."

She snapped something back, but he didn't hear her. He didn't look at her. God. What he wouldn't give for her to actually go to hell.

_Go to hell, Jackie. Just go…to…hell. _

_Later that night _

Jackie walked down the steps towards the Forman's basement. She'd left her purse there earlier, and since she was planning on going shopping early in the morning, she'd decided to get it now.

She was thinking about Fez, and how long he'd waited to be with her. A slight smile played upon her lips as she reached the bottom of the stairs and grabbed the doorknob. The fact that he'd waited so long, always yearning to be with her, always adoring her from afar…it meant something. It had to. Something special and beautiful. Something she'd never experienced before.

Michael had never waited for her. She rolled her eyes and almost laughed at the thought. He'd moved on from her while they were still together…a million times. And Steven…right. He'd come right out and said he wasn't going to wait for her.

_You didn't think I was gonna wait around all summer for you, did you? _

Neither of them had pined for her. Fez had.

She opened the door and walked in, and her smile faded. No one was around except Steven. She stopped just inside the door. He was lying on the couch, and sleeping. She rolled her eyes. Typical. He was too lazy to walk the maybe twenty feet to his bedroom.

Her purse was on the floor in front of the couch, near his head. She bit her lip. She didn't want to wake him up, but she needed her purse.

Her expression soured. Could he have rifled through her purse? Stolen her money?

No. No. Steven stole, but never from his friends.

_Well, except for me. From Michael. _

She smiled. Couldn't really blame him. She was fabulous, after all, and irresistible.

Then again, did he even count her as a friend? Hard to believe that he did, the way he talked to her and glared at her all the time. She'd have to check her purse, just to be sure.

Moving as carefully and as softly as she could, she walked in front of the couch. She leaned over to pick up her purse, but his quiet moans startled her, and she paused, half bent over, to look at him. He looked unsettled. Like he was having a nightmare.

She'd seen that before. He used to dream about his mom leaving. And his dad leaving. God, he'd been left a lot. She understood that all too well.

His head rolled slightly on the pillow, and his face was tight. She stood up slowly.

"Don't….no….don't leave…"

Her mouth opened when his hand shot out wildly, searching for something. His fingers caught her wrist and circled it almost painfully tightly.

She'd forgotten how strong his fingers were. How warm they were. How good his rough skin felt on hers. He hadn't touched her in so long.

_Opposites. Rough, dirty against smooth, creamy, porcelain. _

He must be dreaming about his mom again. Or Sam.

What felt like a mildly muted bullet shot through her stomach.

Probably Sam.

"I…I know. I know. Said I didn't…but…I know."

The words brought a bittersweet suggestion of tears to her eyes. How she'd loved to have heard those two words from him. Only a year ago, those two words from him would have sent her dancing to heaven. Two stupid words. Two stupid little words.

It was the little things. Like little words.

Gently, she pried his grip off her wrist and lay his hand down on his chest. He sighed and turned his head. Maybe he was settling down.

She picked up her purse and turned to leave.

But those words kept repeating themselves.

_"I know. I know." _

Stupid little thing that didn't even mean what the nerves in her stomach seemed to hope it did mean.

So many stupid little things that she had to forget. She was trying. She really was. She had Fez. That would make it easier. Because Fez was the one for her. He was the one who was going to treat her like a queen, like gold in human form. Like she was priceless. The way she deserved to be treated and never had been.

He'd never cheat on her with skanks like Pam Macy. Or some random nurse. He'd never marry a whorey stripper. He'd never tell her he _didn't know_ if he could see a future with her.

And that was what mattered now. Not those little things she'd once held so dear. Like when Steven shaved his beard for her. Convinced Donna to ask her to move in with her. The little smiles he used to give her. The little kisses and touches. None of it mattered. What mattered was that Fez would never hurt her. Soon she'd share little things with him to hang her heart on and to cherish. Sure, instead of coupling her name with his on the water tower, he'd done so with Michael. But he'd meant well. His heart was in the right place. With her.

She left and closed the door behind her as softly as possible.

A little thing. A little fling. That's what her relationship with Steven had been, otherwise it would have lasted.

Now it was on to bigger and better things. With Fez.

_With Fez. _


	2. Money Is the Root of All Evil

**Disclaimer: **I don't own.

**Author's Note: **This is pretty Hyde-oriented, and will be for the next few chapters. But then we'll get to Jackie, when her "life-altering" event happens. And...trust me. Hey, you trusted me with Convincing, didn't you? LOL! Sorry for the rough language in this one, but I really feel like it's appropriate to Hyde's current mood. Thank you so much for reading! I hope I'm hooking you into another one:)

**Warning: **Language.

Clichés and Things "They" Say

Chapter 2 – Money Is the Root of All Evil

**January 25, 1980 **

_Mid afternoon, WB Barnett's office_

It was like being in the principal's office in high school. A drag. A stone drag. And something Hyde had never expected from WB Barnett. For the year and a half or so that Hyde had known him, WB had always been cool and laid back. He'd never expected much out of Hyde, which in Hyde's mind made him the perfect newly discovered father. Apparently, however, that was all a charade, because he'd been called in to WB's office and was now being treated to a lecture.

"Do you even try to keep people from stealing things, Steven? Hell, do you keep yourself from stealing things? Or your scruffy friends?" WB shook his head in frustration and shoved a pile of papers across his desk towards Hyde, who was, to his disgust, slumped lazily in the chair and looking almost bored. "Take a look at those numbers. Since Angie left, my profit has been shrinking. And I don't like that."

Hyde shook his head and shrugged. "Who cares? So I give away a few free records. So a few kids sneak out a few records their parents would never buy for 'em. Big fricken' deal. I used to do the same thing." He grinned. "Well, guess I still do."

WB shook his head impatiently and looked away, taking a deep but shallow-sounding breath. He was quiet for a moment, and then turned back to Hyde, his fists clenching into throbbing balls. "Look, Steven." His voice was a ribbon of unsteady steel, as if about to explode into a holler. "I know I've been pretty easy on you. Probably too easy. But this…" He gestured quickly towards the papers. "I can't keep losing this kind of money. You've 'let' almost five thousand dollars 'out' in the past two months alone."

Hyde made a face. "So what? You're richer than God. What's a few bucks to you?"

WB chuckled. "Steven, how do you think I _became_ richer than God?" His smile instantly disappeared. "I'll tell you how. I didn't sit idly by and watch it disappear."

"And I do?" Hyde couldn't believe this shit. His so-called father, who regularly gave out twenty-dollar bills to anyone, was giving him crap about money.

_Hypocrite. _

"Numbers don't lie, Steven."

The room itself nearly shivered with the sharp chill between the two men.

WB sighed and stood up. His strides around the office were short, almost tearing, and he avoided looking at Hyde. "Look. I know you don't care about money. The thing is; I do. I'm a businessman. It's my job to care about money."

Hyde stood up and crossed his arms across his chest. "So what are you saying?"

WB met his eyes, and Hyde raises his eyebrows. The older man came towards him and put his hand on Hyde's shoulder. Hyde remained still. Stiff. Tense as all hell. The soreness in his stomach was getting worse.

"I'm saying that it might be about time you grow up, Steven. Maybe try working hard at something." WB raised his own eyebrows. "Let's face it, son. The only reason you have this store in the first place is because you're my son."

Hyde's jaw tensed so tight his teeth pulsated against one another. His shortly clipped nails dug into the palms of his hands. Violence ran through his body but in vain, with no release.

Now he knew how WB _really _thought of him.

He was just a charity case.

"Do you want things to be this way the rest of your life? Doing just enough to get by? Spending your time getting drunk, living in a basement, for heaven's sake, getting high and doing NOTHING? Steven, you're better than that. You're better than this." WB pointed towards the papers on the table. "I know you have the ability. You're smart, you're clever. If I didn't think you were capable of managing the store, I wouldn't have you in there, son or not. But you've got to give me something, Steven. You can't just continue to coast through life the way you have been, lapping up what other people are generous enough to give you. Trust me, they won't always be so generous. It'll end, and then what are you going to do?"

The violence broke through his control, and Hyde kicked backwards, knocking the chair he'd just been sitting in over. The noise of metal hitting thin carpet pleased him. "Okay, look. I don't need or want a fucking father, WB."

_Father, hah! Not around for twenty years. Nailed my mom, then took off and left her to marry Bud. Yeah. That worked out SO well. _

_And who the hell are YOU to tell me that I'm coasting through life? What in the hell have other people given me? I was fucking ABANDONED by my so called parents! I had to avoid creditors. Live on crackers and ketchup. Fend for myself when I was sixteen. _

_I've got fucking NOTHING! Never had fucking anything! _

_Probably never will. _

WB shrugged and gave a wry smile. "I know that, and I'm not trying to be your father. I'm talking to you right now as your boss."

Hyde swallowed hard. _Not trying to be my father. Why the hell not? _He shook his head to get rid of that stupid, wussy little voice in the back of his mind. "If you don't want me to work for you…"

"I DO want you to work for me, Steven. But I expect you to WORK."

Hyde scoffed and looked away. "You want me to make you more god damn money."

"That's your JOB, Steven."

A long, still pause settled in the room, like a heavy cloud full of sharp raindrops about to open up on an unsuspecting earth.

"Look, when I was your age, I was a lot like you. Happy to just party with my friends, have as much fun as possible. The same old, same old was all I thought I'd ever want."

"Oh, god, please SPARE me tales of the good old days, WB." Hyde rolled his eyes and began pacing the room. Damn it, why had he ever believed that this situation could work? Why had he ever believed that he could work for a money grubbing, _businessman_ like WB, father or not? This was totally not his scene.

He'd been stupid to ever think it was.

He'd been stupid about a lot of things.

"Fine. Okay, Steven, here's the deal. I'm going to have Dennis take over the store for a week. I want you to take a break. A week off. Think about what you want. Then you come see me and let me know if you want to continue running Grooves."

Hyde stopped walking and stared out the window at the Point Place landscape. A few tall buildings, but not very. In fact, he was standing in the tallest building in town.

Ironic, since he'd once lived in the most rundown house in the whole town.

_Pauper to prince? _

"And what if I don't want to?"

He blinked repeatedly. Hard. God, he had a fricking splitting headache!

WB stared at Hyde's back. "Well, then, I'll find another manager."

Hyde turned and looked at WB. "Just like that, huh?"

WB shrugged, his face stone, unapologetic. "I'm a businessman, Steven."

_You're my dad! You're supposed to be cool. You're supposed to not want anything from me. No one ever has. Except...And that didn't work out so well, now, did it? _

"You said you didn't want a father, Steven. So I'm not being your father."

Hyde couldn't move for a moment, except to breathe roughly through a loaded chest.

_I'm not being your father. Sure. Not surprising. No one's ever wanted to be my father. _

He cleared his throat. "I don't want one," he said tightly. "And I don't need one. So…"

_Fuck you! _

"I'm out of here."

He strode out the door and to the elevator bank. He pressed the down button so hard he had a hard time believing that his finger hadn't gone clear through the plastic.

He stood in the elevator as it descended and shook his head.

_Asshole. I thought you were so…._

His eyes closed and fists clenched.

_Money. Damn root of all evil. Turned my cool dad into a money-grubbing, slimy suits that I hate. I hate so much. _

He hardly felt the pain when one fist pounded the back of the metallic elevator wall.

_Later that day, the Forman basement _

The group was splitting up for the night; the guys going to a raging party on the other side of town, while Jackie and Donna were headed for the bachelorette party of some chick they'd known in high school. And to Hyde, it was a godsend. He wanted to get completely plastered, fall-down drunk, and he wanted to be away from Fez and Jackie.

God, why did they insist on being so sickeningly lovey-dovey?

Reminded him of…

_Kelso and Jackie. _

"Okay, Fez," Jackie said, sitting on her boyfriend's lap on the couch and patting his chest. "You can go to this party, and you can get as drunk as you want to."

Kelso, who stood behind the couch next to Eric, leaned over to him and whispered. "Here's where she turns bitchy."

And indeed, Jackie's sweet smile fell, and she glared threateningly at Fez. "But you better not talk to any girls prettier than me." She held her glare for a moment, then abruptly broke into a bright smile. "But since there aren't any girls prettier than me, you can talk to any girl you want!" She leaned down and pecked Fez's cheek.

Hyde scoffed, inadvertently kicking his leg forward and knocking his foot against the coffee table. "Right, Jackie. I've seen prettier horse's asses. So if you're worried, you better just lock Fez in a closet, 'cause everywhere he goes he'll see prettier girls than you."

Not that he really believed it. Even he had to admit that she was gorgeous. Even now he had to admit that she was beautiful. But she was driving him insane. He wanted her to go the hell away. Literally to hell, for all he cared.

_Why in the hell can't they just stay away? Why can't she sit on his lap in their own damn apartment? Where I don't have to see it? Damn it, they make me SICK! _

"Ahhh burn!" Fez cried, giving Hyde a big grin. Jackie hit him, and he looked up at her, his smile gone and his eyes scattering nervously. "I am sorry, my lovely, but it was a very good burn."

Jackie rolled her eyes, then leveled her best lethal gaze at her ex-boyfriend. The bastard who had been nothing but mean to her since HE ruined the relationship. Since HE arrived home with that whore attached to his name. How DARE he insult HER, when HE did the destroying? The hurting? When HE broke HER heart?

She hated him. More intensely than she'd ever hated him before. She wanted him to die, to sink down to hell where maybe he'd find his just desserts.

And she wanted him to hurt. Just like she had for so damn long.

"Oh, that's rich, coming from someone whose own mother didn't even think he was cute enough to stick around." She smirked. "The face only a mother could love. Your own MOTHER couldn't even love your face, Steven!"

"BURN!" Kelso cried out, but when he noticed that no one else was moving, except to stare openmouthed at Jackie, then slowly turn to stare openmouthed at Hyde, he covered his mouth with his hand.

No one said a word after that. A silence the likes of which the basement had never held. Dull and heavy. Cold and thick.

Hyde stared at his ex-girlfriend, using all of his energy to keep the Zen perfect.

_You bitch. You BITCH. YOU BITCH!_

Of all of them, she should have known better. Of all of them, she should have KNOWN how that would…how it would…

He stood up. Fuck her. He'd get drunk and completely forget this entire thing. Not like it mattered, anyway. It was just a petty comment from a petty, shallow little bitch. "Let's get the hell out of here."

Kelso frowned at him. "Don't you want to get Jackie back? 'Cause, I mean, Hyde, that was a …" He backed up slightly, nervous because of the look Hyde was giving him. "Sweet burn."

Hyde smirked. "Nah. She's not worth it." He shook his head and started heading towards the door. "Jackie's just a poor little rich girl who always has to have a boyfriend because her daddy doesn't love her and her mommy would rather sleep with every single man in Puerto Rico than be with her."

He walked out.

On to bigger and better things.

Like getting drunk until even the fat girls looked pretty.

_Prettier than her. _


	3. Beer Is the Nectar of the Gods

**Disclaimer: **I don't own. I do own a cat, though. :)

**Author's Note:** This chapter isn't as Hyde-oriented as I thought it was going to be. But the next chapter definitely will be. I just have to figure out exactly what I 'm going to do...there are two ways I could go. Guess I'll flip a coin.:) Thank you so much for reading and reviewingthis one, and I hope the anger and bitterness hasn't turned you off. It'll get better...I promise.

Eventually.

Giggle.

**Warning: **Language

Clichés and Things "They" Say

Chapter 3 – Beer is the Nectar of the Gods

**January 25, 1980, quarter to seven **

The drive across town was oddly quiet, and as much as Donna always thought she wanted Jackie to shut up, she was finding that it was quite annoying. Strange, but she wanted Jackie to talk. She glanced to her right, where Jackie sat silently staring out the passenger side window. "So, uh, Jackie," she started. "That was pretty harsh, what you said about Hyde's mother."

Jackie snapped a glare at Donna, all the while reminding herself to stay calm, to not let Donna see the hurricane of emotions destroy the lining of her stomach. Guilt, regret, anger, hatred, pain, sadness…a monstrous mixture that brought nausea to her chest. "So? He deserved it, Donna. He said that horses' asses are prettier than me!" She shook her head and looked away, her eyes watching as Point Place slowly slid past her. "God, I'm so glad I'm not with him anymore! He's such a…such…an ass!" She huffed and her fingertips dug painfully into her thighs.

He was. So why did she feel terrible about what she'd said? So she'd cut deep. So what? So had he. And she knew for a fact that he didn't feel bad about what he'd said about her looks, or about her parents. He'd loved it. He loved hurting her. Hell, he'd probably even gotten of on seeing her run out the way she had.

Stupid. She'd given him the satisfaction of knowing he'd hurt her.

Again. Seems like she was always doing that.

"Fez is so much better than Steven. I am SO lucky!"

Donna rolled her eyes. She would never, for the life of her, understand what Jackie was thinking with Fez. That Fez was some magical Prince Charming, she supposed. Donna suspected otherwise, and frankly, Fez had given her and continued to give her reason to. "I don't know, Jackie. I mean, when Hyde made that crack about you, he laughed and told Hyde it was a good burn. He didn't even defend you."

A knot in Jackie's stomach tightened.

_Don't you think I KNOW that? _

Her teeth on her lower lip were sharp and brutal, but necessary. She couldn't let Donna see the anger and disappointment. Besides, she was trying to forget it. She had to. Because Fez was her perfect man. She had a list that said so, if anyone needed proof. "So what?"

Donna raised her eyebrows. "You used to love things like that." She frowned. "You used to demand things like that."

Jackie threw a haughty look her best friend's way. "Maybe I've changed, Donna. Maybe I've grown up. I don't need stuff like that now."

_Whatever. I wanted him to so much! All he had to do was tell Steven to shut up…or punch his lights out…or anything! _

"I'm much more secure with Fez. I mean, he's always loved me. He told me so."

_So what if he's not my knight in shining armor? So what if he didn't punch Steven out the way Steven…_

_NO! He is TOO my knight in shining armor, he just…he just wasn't paying attention. He's not used to being with someone as amazing as me. He's a bit stunned. It'll only happen once._ _And_ _it's just a little thing, anyway. He'll make up for it. And I'll forget all about this. _

_He'll do better when it REALLY counts. _

Donna shook her head and gazed out the windshield at the darkening road ahead of them. "Okay, Jackie." Sad. He's always loved her? Is that why, on the very night he got together with Jackie, Donna found him hiding in her closet? Is that why that every night since then she'd found him hiding in her closet?

She just couldn't be enthusiastic about Fez and Jackie, no matter how many explanations or platitudes Jackie gave her. It just seemed…wrong. Not wrong in the shocking, almost sickening way Jackie and Hyde had been at first, but _wrong_, in a this-won't-make-either-of-them-happy way.

"Okay, enough of this. Did I tell you that my mom is coming home in a few days?"

Donna flipped her head to Jackie. "Really? Pam's coming home?"

Jackie nodded and sighed with a slight shrug, doing her best to conceal her confusion of feelings. "Yeah. Guess she needs a break from all her…uh…sunbathing."

_Right. Sunbathing. More like whoring around Mexico and everywhere south of the equator. _

Donna shook her head and rolled her eyes. "Well, I guess we better round up some drool buckets. You know the guys are all gonna go berserk."

Jackie stiffened her shoulders. "Not my Fezzie." She smiled hard with certainty that was as flimsy as a butterfly's wings.

Donna bit her lip. Was Jackie high? Drunk? Have a brain tumor? Had a few kisses really turned her brain, and all her memories of Fez and who he was, to mush?

Or was she just trying to talk herself into believing that Fez was this perfect man? Lying to herself.

Deluding herself.

Maybe there was some truth to what Hyde had said so coldly in the basement.

"Jackie, the last time Pam was here, Fez wanted her to 'hop on' him."

Jackie looked out the window again. "That was then, Donna, and this is now. He has ME now. He doesn't care about other women."

False bravado that stirred her nausea.

But it wouldn't last, she told herself. One day, she'd believe wholeheartedly that she was all Fez wanted. It would take time. It wasn't his fault, of course; she'd been so screwed up by what Michael and Steven put her through. But soon, that would be completely forgotten, and she'd completely trust Fez.

And he'd never let her down, because he'd always, _always_ loved her.

"Is that why you told him he couldn't talk to any girls prettier than you at the party?"

Jackie smiled and looked at Donna, who just didn't get it. She never got anything, stupid lumberjack. "But it doesn't matter, Donna, because there are NO girls in the world that Fez thinks are prettier than me." She sighed. "Fez is not like Michael and Steven, always looking at other girls. I can trust him. "

_I can. I know I can. I think….no, I KNOW I can. _

"Jackie, Hyde never looked at other women. I mean, yeah, he talked like it, but you know he really didn't."

Jackie laughed, bitterly, coldly. "Right. Try that nurse, Donna, and that skank he went out with when I wanted to get back together. Oh, and…" She paused, trying to smother that still burning rage in her soul. "Sam. Don't forget Sam." She shook her head. No. She wasn't going to cry. Not anymore. She didn't need to. She had Fez. "Look, Donna, Fez really loves me. I know he does. And you're just gonna have to deal with it, okay?"

Donna swallowed the bile of her guilt. She should tell Jackie about Fez's nights in her closet. She should. She _really _should. Maybe it would spare her friend a lot of heartache.

Then again, considering the way Jackie was building him up in her mind, Donna doubted that she'd allow herself to believe anything negative about him. Probably not even if she saw it with her own eyes.

God.

**A random house in Point Place, 8:30 pm **

"Whoa…." Kelso muttered in awe.

Eric nodded and looked around the smoke filled, body crowded room. "I second that."

Fez's eyes were wide as two full moons. "Oh my god, look at all that beer. It is almost as much as in Charlie's dad's warehouse." He pointed at the five kegs lining a wall, in front of five more, which were in front of five more. He smiled. "I hope they have just as much candy, because that would make…" He trailed off as a beautiful woman smiled at him as she walked by. "Oh, and the whores are already drunk!"

Hyde nodded and grinned. "Yep. And friendly. Friendly, drunk whores. And beer. Beer is the nectar of the gods, gentlemen, and I say we plunge on in."

All he wanted to do was drink. And drink some more. Than some more, until nothing registered to him anymore.

Until he forgot everything, including that scene in the basement.

_Stupid bitch! _

As three began to head towards the kegs, Fez held back, his smile fading fast. "Wait. You guys, I cannot talk to any of these lovely drunk whores." His brow furrowed. "Jackie will kill me." He pouted like a petulant child. "But how am I supposed to stop myself? They are everywhere I turn!"

Eric shrugged and put his arm around Fez's shoulders. "It's okay, Fez. You and I will just drink and…" He watched a guy puffing on a joint pass by and smiled. "Have circle time." He inhaled, and the scent of his favorite indulgence, second to Donna, filled his senses.

"So you're not gonna get any action either, Eric?" Kelso asked. "You're CRAZY!" He gestured wildly out at the crowd, seemingly full of hot and scantily clad, tipsy and beyond girls. "Look at what's around you!"

"Look, man, if I go home with nothing on my conscience, Donna can't beat anything out of me, and…" Eric's smile turned sly. "I'll get to touch her naughty parts as much as I want."

Hyde looked at his friend in disgust. God help him if he EVER became like Forman, or even approached it. He'd have to kill himself. "Damn, Forman, you and Fez are both frickin' whipped."

Kelso nodded with a goofy smile. "Yeah, wussy whipped!"

Hyde glared at Kelso. "It's not wussy whipped, you moron."

Kelso looked confused. "Then what the hell is it?"

"Try a 'p', Kelso."

It took a few seconds, but Kelso's face lit up. "OH!" He laughed and pointed at Eric and Fez. "Yeah, that's definitely what you two are!"

Fez frowned. "No, it is not me." His voice turned sour. "I cannot touch Jackie's naughty parts. She will not let me yet."

Kelso stopped laughing, and he stared at Fez. "What? You're not doing it with Jackie? God! What the hell is the point of being her whipping boy if you're not getting any?" He laughed and pointed at Fez. "You know, everyone always calls me a moron, or an idiot, or brain dead. But man, I think they should talk to you, cause that's just DUMB!"

Fez quickly looked at Hyde. "Hyde, do you think Jackie is making me her whipping boy?"

Hyde looked at Fez in annoyance. The last thing he wanted to do was ponder and pontificate about Fez and Jackie's relationship. "Of course she is, Fez," he said, his voice tight.

Why did his throat always constrict when he had to talk about her? God! She was just a chick. A shallow, mean, spoiled, bitchy chick. And whiny. Pouty. A nag.

_A stupid bitch. _

"That's what she does. And once she gets her claws in, watch out. She'll tear away at you till there's nothing left but a bloody carcass for the vultures to feed on." Hyde looked at Fez, and some sort of bitterness he couldn't control spewed out of his mouth. "And you're such a sucker you'll just sit back and let her do it."

Kelso tapped Fez on the shoulder. "You know, Jackie used to hit me on the nose with a newspaper. Like I was a really sexy puppy." He smiled widely. "She'll probably do that to you, too, only you won't be as sexy as I was."

Fez frowned. "I do not want to be a puppy. Or a bloody carcass." He began to feel sick. And like the walls were creeping closer and closer to him. He looked around, feeling a heat and trembling that resembled panic.

Eric shrugged. "That's what you get for hooking up with the devil."

Fez exploded, his face flushed, his eyes flashing. "That's IT! I am going to talk to every whore here! And if Jackie does not like it, then she can say good day!"

"Fez…"

"I said good day!"

Eric shook his head as Fez stormed off into the swarm of people. "Well, THIS can only lead to disaster."

Hyde looked around, and smiled slightly when he noticed a familiar and very good looking blonde standing near the kegs. Hell yeah. This night was going to be better than he'd planned. Not only was he going to get drunk off his ass, he'd probably get laid, too. All in all, the best night possible.

_Is it? Is this all that life had to offer? _

He shook his head. Stupid thoughts. Only one solution to stupid thoughts, and that was to get smashed. Hell, it's what he'd done when the bitch had given him her ultimatum.

And it worked. He'd lost…no, he'd freed himself of her.

"Frankly, Forman, I don't give a damn." He grinned. "I'm gonna go have a good time. Have fun…" He looked at Eric and shook his head. "Sitting here all by your lonesome."

Eric shook his head as his friends all abandoned him. "Fine," he called. "I'll just…I'll just…" He looked behind him and saw a couch, and he slowly sank down. "I'll just sit here by my lonesome."

And he did.

Damn! If only he didn't want to touch Donna's naughty parts so much!


	4. The More Things Change

**Disclaimer: **I don't own.

**Author's Note: **Thanks so much to everyone who is reading! And especially to those who are leaving me such supportive reviews. They're very motivating,and I really, really, really appreciate them! This chapter is a bit long. Sorry! It all needed to be in this one chapter, though. :) Hope you enjoy!

**Warning: **Mild language

Clichés and Things "They" Say

Chapter 4 – The More Things Change

**January 25, 1980, 10:30 pm, a random house in Point Place **

The night was cold, approaching bitterly so, but because of the crowded house and all the body heat, the brisk air felt good to Hyde. He and Jill, the blonde he'd spotted near the kegs, sat across from one another at a red picnic table in the backyard of the party house. He'd known Jill since he was a kid, but hadn't seen her for a few years. They'd once had a friends- with- benefits arrangements, and Hyde was hoping that after a little talking, a little drinking, a little smoking, they could revisit that scheme. He took a long drag off his cigarette and grinned when she smiled at him.

"So, Hyde, how've you been? God, I can't believe it's been so long."

He shrugged and handed her the cigarette. "I know. You disappeared."

Jill took a drag and nodded. "I started college in Minnesota. Still there, just came home for the weekend to see the folks." She rolled her eyes. "Glad as hell that my friend Judy knew about this party!"

He raised his eyebrows and looked her over, from her head to her chest. Yeah, she could make this night a hell of a lot of fun. "Yeah, well, that makes two of us."

Jill flipped her hair over her shoulder and passed back the cigarette. "Hey, you still with that girl? That cheerleader you hooked up with?" She smiled. "She was pretty, although I couldn't believe _you_ hooked up with a cheerleader."

Hyde grabbed his beer and downed almost all of the half that remained in his can, and he looked away, staring off into the dark Wisconsin night. "Jackie?" Damn. He hadn't wanted to hear or think her name tonight, let alone actually speak it. "That ended last year." He again took a smoke, closing his eyes and letting the nicotine's heat calm the tension that now resided in his chest. "And it's a good thing, too, because it was hell."

_And Forman was right. She is the devil. A bitchy devil. _

Jill noticed that he was staring off into space, and she smiled slightly. She wondered if maybe he wasn't entirely over the ending of that relationship. "You know, I saw you with her once. At the Vineyard. Christmas time, you were both all dressed up." She cocked her head. "You looked happy."

Hyde again lifted his can to his lips and gulped down the liquid. His desire to drink himself into oblivion was getting stronger and stronger.

The Christmas dance he'd let her talk him into taking her too, that must be what Jill was talking about. The gang had all gone to dinner. And after the dance, she'd done two cheers for him; one in her cheerleading uniform and the other not in her cheerleading uniform. And while straddling him on his cot.

He closed his eyes and finished off the beer. No. He would not think about her. Damn, why WAS he? Just because Jill was talking about her? Damn it!

"Hyde?"

He cleared his throat. _Pull yourself together, man! _"I only looked happy because she was doing stuff to me under the table, man." He shrugged. "I mean, Jackie's a bitch, but it was hot."

Jill shook her head. She didn't believe him. He had that look on his face, forced disgust that was nearly always a mask. She'd learned to read body language and facial expressions. And she was taking psychology. She knew what was going on. "I don't know, Hyde. You kissed her on her cheek and smiled at her for a long time, like a minute." She took a swig of her own beer. "That's longer than I've ever seen you smile at anyone."

Hyde swallowed the rest of his beer. Wasn't enough. Finished his cigarette. Wasn't enough. He looked at Jill, and now all he wanted to do was have sex. He didn't think when he had sex. Didn't feel when he had sex, except, of course, the sex itself.

And he didn't want to think. Or feel.

He stood up and tossed the cigarette butt away, on to the snow dusted cement porch. Quickly finding his inner stud, he slid down on the table bench next to Jill as close as he could and put his arm around. He narrowed his eyes and smirked, and he knew he looked sexy.

Hadn't Jackie always told him he did?

No.

_Stupid bitch! _

"Hey. I'm thinking that maybe we could find something better to do." He raised his eyebrows. "Like…catch up." She smiled and slid her pink tongue across her lips, exciting him and urging him to lean forward to take her mouth as his.

After the kiss, Jill pulled away, slightly breathless, her lips already swollen, and Hyde nodded, still with the smirk. Yeah, he was good. She looked turned on already, and he'd only kissed her once.

He was _damn _good.

"Hey, I know the host. He said if I wanted to…well…_use_ one of the bedrooms, I should feel free. Are you…interested?"

Her purr was all the encouragement he needed. He smiled. "Hell, yeah!"

Hell, yeah, it was gonna be a good night! A little smoking, little talking, hopefully more than a little sex, and more than a little beer.

Yep. Life couldn't get any better than this.

A few minutes later, they were upstairs. Jill pointed towards a closed door, and Hyde grinned and pulled her by the hand to it.

"I hope you're as good as I remember, Hyde. 'Cause you know I don't do this with just _anyone_."

He almost laughed. Jill was his friend, but he knew for a fact that she wasn't exactly picky about her bedmates.

Hyde reached the door, but paused to turn a smile to her. "Oh, I'm better than you remember, Jill, just so you know what you're in for."

He turned and opened the door. He flipped on the light, and his eyes widened.

The bed's covers were distorted by two bodies in a telltale bump.

And a very familiar, heavily accented voice, muffled at first, then stronger and louder as the bump broke apart and threw apart the covers.

"Hey, you son of a bitch, there are naked people in this room! Oh…Hyde..I did not expect it to be you.…"

Hyde looked at Fez. And a rather annoyed looking, naked blonde chick struggling to cover up her body while Fez squirmed off the bed.

For a moment, Hyde couldn't move. And for that same brief moment that didn't quite feel real, he didn't see anything that was actually in front of him.

He saw Jackie. Her face when she'd realized Kelso had been cheating on her. Her eyes when he himself had told her that he'd cheated on her.

_The more things change…the more they stay the same. _

It was like he was in a time warp. Everything was happening again. Faces and places had changed, but it was the same road. The same damn road.

Hyde mumbled a "sorry, man" and turned around quickly, pulling the door closed behind him. Jill looked at him in confusion, and he grimaced. "Uh, I'm thinking we're gonna have to find another room."

Shit.

_"Look, Steven, I've heard it all before. From you, from Michael." _

And she'd hear it again from Fez.

Wait a minute. Who the hell cared? She was a bitch! Hell, she deserved it! So what if she'd been cheated on by every guy she'd ever cared about?

Every single one. Including him.

The door opened, and Hyde turned to see Fez, looking panic-stricken, a sheet wrapped around his waist. He knew he should laugh, to congratulate Fez on being a stud for hooking up with a random chick, and a blonde, at that. And he wanted to. He wanted so much to. Because she deserved it. Hell, she was holding out on Fez, the poor guy. Really, could he blame Fez?

"Hyde, uh…how much…how much did you see?"

Zen. Zen. ZEN!

He managed to smirk at the flushed Fez. "Enough." He crossed his arms across his chest. At least it would be entertaining to watch Fez squirm and try to get out of this one. Guess Fez had forgotten all about his "goddess", his "angel".

Heh. In a way, Hyde was impressed. He hadn't really thought Fez would ever have the guts to do anything contrary to what Jackie told him. He'd always assumed Fez would get steamrolled by her. She had a way of doing that, and Fez wasn't exactly known for backbone.

But that feeling didn't seem as strong as it should. He should be laughing. He should be high-fiving Fez and congratulating on scoring a hot, slutty chick.

_If only I could stop seeing those goddamned looks on her face! _

Fez shifted on his feet. "Well, um…are you going to tell Jackie?"

Hyde tilted his head, as if he were considering his options. When really, he had no options at all. He couldn't squeal to Jackie. Fez was his buddy. His pal. No way in hell could he squeal on Fez. Not that he even wanted to. He didn't want to. He had no interest in getting Fez caught.

Of course he didn't.

"Well, that depends, Fez," he quipped. "Whatcha' gonna give me? You know, just in case I'm tempted to say something?" His smile broadened as Fez's face twisted in frantic thought. Sucker.

"Well, I will give you all of my candy, including the candy I have hidden in Eric's car. I can also give you any of my polyester shirts that you want. They are a hit with the ladies, my friend, and they would really complement your incredibly sculpted chest and arms."

Hyde made a face at that, and another as Fez listed ridiculous things to give him. "Yeah, never mind, Fez. You don't have anything I want."

A soft form pressed against Hyde's back, and Jill whispered into his ear.

"Except maybe Jackie, eh, Hyde?"

He glared at her. What in the HELL was she talking about?

Fez's face fell. "Ai! Hyde, please do not tell Jackie about this. Please. I have never asked you for a favor in my life." He began breathing hard. "I will let you drive me to the Michigan border, take my clothes and leave me there if you do not tell Jackie! I will let you take me back to school and stuff me into a locker! As many times as you want!"

Hyde shrugged. Ridiculous. The guilty were always so fricking ridiculous. "Fine. I won't tell Jackie."

Fez closed his eyes, and his entire body seemed to sink with utter relief. "Oh, thank you, Hyde! I always knew that you were a good boy, just like Miss Kitty always says."

Hyde pointed at him and frowned. "Don't make me reconsider, Fez!"

Fez nodded nervously. "No. No." He smiled and began backing up through the open bedroom door. "Now…Good day, Hyde."

Hyde watched as Fez disappeared behind the door. And the soft click of the door's lock being snapped sounded to him about as loud as the thousand church bells directly overhead.

He pursed his lips.

Just like Kelso, Fez had been caught. And just like Kelso, Fez apparently wasn't going to let that get in his way. No. Maybe he was just going back in there to explain things to the whore in the bed. Yeah. That made sense. She had to be wondering….

And so what? Fez had a little fun. No harm, no foul. What Jackie didn't know wouldn't hurt her.

_Right. _

_Damn it! Who the hell CARES? _

"Hyde?"

Jill's voice was welcome. Distracting. He turned to look at her.

She raised a shoulder. "What do you wanna do now? You wanna find another room?"

One thought came to his mind, and he spoke it gruffly before turning and walking back down the stairs. "I wanna drink beer. Lots and lots of beer."

_The more things change…. _

**January 26, 1:30 am, the Forman driveway** /b /c

Jackie walked across the Forman's driveway. She'd had to drive a drunken Donna home, and now was thirsty. She figured she'd grab a coke out of the Forman's basement since she had none at home. The Formans always left the basement door unlocked. And if not, she knew where Eric hid a key, just in case.

She walked around to the back of the house, and was startled when she came to the stairwell. Slumped over the side, leaning against the wall, was Steven. He heard her, and looked at her, and she could immediately tell that he was drunk. He had that stupid, slightly crazy smirk he always wore when he was drunk. She frowned and approached the stairs. She'd just ignore him.

"Hey, Ja…Jackie," he slurred. "I…gonna fall if I go down." He chuckled. "They're all wiggly." He pointed at the stairs and wiggled his fingers, as in imitation of the stairs.

Jackie game him a patronizing look and nod. "Then just stay there." She started to walk down the steps. God, how much had he drank? He smelled like it was about an entire keg. Idiot. He could help himself out of this mess he'd made. She'd had enough of helping drunk friends for one night.

Besides, she really couldn't even count Steven as a friend. He was just a bastard she had the misfortune of knowing.

"Wait! Ja…Jackie…come on, man."

Jackie knew she shouldn't, but she looked back up at him, and despite herself, her heart softened. Now he looked sad. Like a child. And god, why did she always, always wind up feeling bad for him? Wanting to take care of him? Shouldn't that stupid soft spot inside have grown cold and hard? "What, Steven?"

He shrugged. "I wanna go to..sle..lip…eep. Bed. But I can't...they're wiggling, man!"

She rolled her eyes. Moron. "Fine." She walked back up the few stairs she'd descended and stood next to him, closer than she had in a long time. Trying to steel herself, she put her arm around his waist. "Come on."

God, what was she doing? She should just leave him out here to freeze to death in an alcoholic stupor. He deserved it.

His smile brightened almost wildly. "Cool."

She struggled to adjust to his weight when he put his arm around her shoulders and leaned on her, but she managed, and slowly, she helped him walk down. One step, one slow step, at a time. Steven seemed to be frightened of falling off the edge of the planet, and she had to coax him at times to move his feet. And it was hard to keep him steady. Obviously he was still dizzy from the booze.

He grinned goofily at her. "Mmm…you smell good. Like rainshine and sunbows."

She shook her head. "Yeah, well, you smell like you bathed in beer."

"Ya know, I gotta tell you somethin'. Somethin' important."

They reached the bottom of the stairs, and Jackie reached for the doorknob. "Oh yeah?" she said, almost disinterestedly. She just wanted to get him inside and off of her.

She didn't want to feel sorry for him, to want to take care of him, to touch him. And here she was, doing all of that. God! What was WRONG with her?

"But I can't 'member what it was."

She shrugged and opened the door, reaching for the light switch and turning it on.. "Later, maybe."

Right. She seriously doubted that he'd remember any of this when he woke up in the morning.

"Alright, Steven, lets get you to bed."

He pulled away from her and glared at her. "I wanna sit in my chair."

She rolled her eyes impatiently. Fine. She'd sit him down in his chair and leave him there. He'd probably fall onto the floor when he passed out, but it wasn't her problem. And so she walked him over to his chair. She stood in front of him when he sat down, and put her hands on her hips. "There. Now I'm leaving."

His hands caught her at her hips, and she looked at him, startled. The way he was looking at her took her by surprise. Now he was trying to look sexy, his eyes narrow and sliding up and down her body. To her disgust, she had the same reaction she used to have to his gruff appraisal of her; chills and goosebumps all over her, inside and out. "Steven…"

"You're sexy, Jackie, ya know that?"

_Get away from him, Jackie! Just pull away! _

It was odd, the threat she felt. Not that he would hurt her. But that the small, no, _tiny_ shred of herself still smarting over the end of their relationship would cave and give into any drunken advances Steven might make. She couldn't let that happen. She had Fez now, that stupid Jackie was banished. She couldn't let her back. It would ruin everything.

"Sit down. Sit on my lap. For…sake's time…" He furrowed his brow, obviously confused by what he was trying to say. "Time's sake old." He pulled her closer, and his hands, wide and firm on her, moved to her her backside, just below the small of her back. "Time's old sake. C'mon, Jackie. Time's sake old."

"Steven, stop it!" She put her hands on his arms and used the leverage to push herself away from him, and stumbled backwards to freedom from whatever insanity had come over him. He tried to reach for her again, but she backed up so he couldn't catch her. "No!"

He glared at her, and she bit her lip when he swallowed hard. He did that when he was upset. "Fine, your loss," he bit off angrily. He stood up and swayed slightly. He pointed at her. "I was gonna tell you somethin' really important, but now I'm not gonna, because you're just a stupid bitch!"

She stood still and watched him stagger towards his bedroom, and tears stung her eyes. And it infuriated her. Why could he still hurt her? She was over him, completely, and yet here she was, her stomach tearing itself apart just because he'd called her a bitch.

A loud crash and moan echoed into the basement, coming from the tiny room that was Steven's bedroom, and Jackie sighed. No. She didn't need to go in there. If he'd passed out on the floor, it was his own damn problem.

He could take care of himself.

_No he can't. He's never really been able to. Always thought he could, but never could. _

She couldn't stop herself, and so she tiptoed back to his room. When she got in, she found him half on his cot, on his stomach, and the other half of him hanging off of it. "God, Steven," she whispered. "Why do you do this to yourself?"

She struggled, but got him rolled over onto his back, fully on his cot, and since it was cold, pulled the blankets up over him. He'd passed out, his mouth was open, and she could see through his glasses that his eyes were closed. Timidly, she reached towards his face and pulled his glasses off.

_Why am I doing this?_ _Let him stew in his own disaster! _

But she got him a glass of water and set it on the counter next to his bed. She tucked the blankets in around him. She got a damp rag and wiped off the sweat on his flushed face. He was going to wake up in shitty condition, she could already tell that.

And when he started moaning, the same way he always had when he was having those dreams about his parents leaving him, she felt tempted to lay down with him, to hold him just for a few minutes. Or to wrap his arms around her so he could hold her. He always settled down when he was holding her, or at least he used to.

No. No. She could NOT do that!

Jackie looked around the room, and to her surprise, she saw something bright pink peeping out from under the stuffed chair. When she picked it up, she found that it was a pillow she'd brought him when she'd redecorated his room.

She stared at it. Had he kept it? Why had he kept it?

She looked back at him, and now his face was twisted. He looked in pain, even if it was just a dream pain.

"No…n..no…don't…"

She walked back to him and tucked the pillow into his arms. And smiled slightly when he instantly cradled it to his chest.

Jackie shook her head and headed to the door, but once there, turned to look back at him. She bit her lip. "Idiot," she whispered softly.

As she left and headed for her apartment, her mind whirled. What had happened to Steven? How had he gotten home? Had the guys left him out there to burn him? And why…why had he wanted her to sit on his lap? Why had he told her she was sexy? Yeah, he was drunk, but he hated her.

What had he wanted to tell her?

She scoffed as she started her car. "Nothing, Jackie, geez," she muttered. It was nothing. He was drunk and not in his right mind.

Then again, what if it WAS something?


	5. Have Cake and Eat It Too

**Disclaimer: **I don't own.

**Author's Notes: **I'm on a bit of a roll, writing wise. :) I love the weekends. Anyway, thanks so much, as always, for reading and reviewing! And I have to apologize in advance for the mental image this chapter ends with. It's necessary. Unpleasant, I know, but necessary. So please forgive me.

**Warning: **Language

Clichés and Things "They" Say

Chapter 5 – Have Cake and Eat It Too

**January 26, 1980, 10:00 am, Hyde's bedroom **

The instant Hyde opened his eyes, just a tiny, tiny bit, thousands of small, pulsating fists began pounding his forehead. He closed his eyes again immediately, and groaned. His throat was stripped raw and ached, and the lining of his stomach seemed to have been chopped up in about two dozen, sharp-edged pieces. Oh yeah. He was going to have one hell of a hangover today.

He swallowed over and over, desperate for moisture in his throat, and sat up. Covering his eyes with his hand, he took a deep breath and opened them again. Slowly, he took his hand away from his face. Luckily, the room was dark. No windows to let in light which at this moment would be horrifying. He wasn't sure what exactly had happened last night, since his mind was steeped in fog, but he knew it wasn't good. Otherwise he wouldn't have such a horrid hangover.

He groaned again and reached over to turn on the lamp on the dresser next to his bed, still swallowing repeatedly. He saw a glass filled with water. "Thank God," he mumbled, grabbing it and bringing it to his lips. The water was warm, but still felt like heavenly silk on his parched throat. He looked around his room. How had he gotten here? The last thing he remembered, Jill was dancing with some guy at the party, and he was sitting on the floor in front of a keg, making sure it was completely drained. He didn't really remember anything before that or after that.

A soft knocking on his door made him wince, and when the door opened, he turned a nasty glare to the intruder. "Go away." But when he saw it was Fez taking a few tentative steps into the room, he remembered. Opening that bedroom door and seeing Fez on top of some naked chick. Fez begging him to keep quiet.

"Hyde, can we talk?"

Hyde rolled his eyes. The last thing he wanted was to hear any convoluted explanations or teary regrets. He threw his legs off the bed, groaning because his body was both stiff and nauseated, and stood up. "Look, Fez, I don't give a crap why you cheated on Jackie, okay, so we really don't have anything to talk about." He stalked over to the trunk where he kept most of his clothes and opened it.

Fez sat down on the now vacated cot and watched Hyde. "No, no. I just wanted to make sure that you will not tell Jackie what happened last night."

Hyde shook his head and continued digging in his trunk. He wanted his Ted Nugent shirt. Damn, he'd just seen it, where the hell was it? "Already told you I wasn't gonna tell her." But the curiosity suddenly plagued him, and he stood up to turn around. "Fez, man, I thought Jackie was your goddess. What were you thinking?"

Fez sighed, looking a little sad, a little confused, a little angry. "I was mad that Jackie told me I could not talk to any women." His expression changed to just angry. "I may have lovely legs, but damn it, I am tired of wearing the skirt in my relationships. I want to wear the pants for once."

Hyde shrugged. He'd never had that problem, no chick, including Jackie, had ever turned him soft, but Fez had been born soft.

"And I wanted to prove that Jackie was not going to make me her sexy puppy, or turn me into a bloody carcass." He smiled and pointed at Hyde. "You told me that I would just sit back and let it happen. And see? You were wrong!"

Hyde stared at Fez. Right, like it was his or Kelso's fault that Fez had felt the need to sleep with some random skank.

The pieces of his stomach lining shifted painfully.

Then again, Fez was easily, pathetically easily influenced.

"Whatever, Fez," he said, after he shoved away a flush of something close to guilt. "Look, I'm not gonna tell Jackie, so just relax, okay?" He turned back to the trunk and resumed his hunt.

Fez smiled briefly, but then glared at Hyde. "Okay, but are you going to try to get me caught? Because you never told on Kelso, but you tried to get him caught."

Hyde stopped moving, and he looked at he wall in front of him. Get him caught? So this wasn't a one-time thing? Fez was gonna keep doing this? Like Kelso had?

_Like Kelso had. _

The fists in his forehead seemed to grow stronger. His very skin seemed to throb. And Jackie's face, her teary eyes, the pain she could never hide when Kelso paraded Laurie around, when he had told her about that god damn nurse….

He turned around and looked at Fez, doing his best to keep his gaze even and unaffected. Doing his best to hide the fact that what Fez was suggesting was making him sick.

And god, WHY was it making him sick? It was Jackie! Who the hell cared what happened to her? Who hurt her? Who broke her heart…again?

"So, what are you saying, Fez? You're gonna make this a regular thing?"

_Like Kelso had? _

Fez shrugged. "I don't know. Kelso told me that with Jackie, I can have my cake and eat it too. And I love cake." He frowned. "Why would you want to have cake and not eat it?" He furrowed his brow. "The mistake Kelso made was getting caught. I will not get caught, because I am not as dumb as Kelso is." He grinned. "Nice burn, Fez!"

Hyde shook his head, and this time, couldn't hide the disgust he felt. Taking advice from Kelso was about as smart as willingly taking cyanide.

Fez smiled nervously when he noticed the harsh look on his friend's face. But he misunderstood the reason behind it. "Oh, Hyde, I know you tried to eat your cake with the nurse, but it did not work for you because you did not give Jackie presents and worship her."

Hyde was tempted to punch Fez in his foreign nose. Did everyone think he'd cheated on Jackie just for the hell of it? For some reason, the thought infuriated him. "Fez, that's not why I cheated. I cheated because I thought she cheated first."

"Whatever." Fez's chest flushed out proudly. "I will have no problem worshipping her, because I've been planning how to worship her for years."

Worship her. Right. Just what Jackie wanted. Of course, she probably wouldn't equate cheating on her with worshiping her. Although she'd always gone back to Kelso. After, of course, he'd done some serious kissing up to her.

And this whole scenario was getting eerily similar to the soap opera of Jackie and Kelso.

Hyde shook his head. "Whatever, man." He turned back to the trunk, and at long last found the shirt he was looking for. "Look, Fez, I've gotta take a shower. So get out of here, okay?" Before Fez could answer, he looked over his shoulder and spat a final reassurance. "And don't worry. I'm not gonna try to get you caught. So do whatever the hell you want."

A few minutes later, Hyde stood in the shower, under lukewarm water since cold water made his head throb more angrily and hot water made him even more nauseous.

It was like he was standing at the head of a familiar river, one he'd traversed before and didn't like. One that ended with a vicious waterfall into a tempestuous sea.

It wasn't him who was at risk of drowning. It was Jackie. Again.

She'd cry. She'd try to hide it, but she'd cry her eyes out. He'd seen her sobbing once, after his episode with the nurse. She'd been living at the Pinciotti's house at the time, and he'd gone over there to try to talk to her. Donna's bedroom door had been open, and when he'd looked in, Jackie had been laying on Donna's bed, curled in a little ball, the Zeppelin tee shirt he'd given her clutched to her chest, and shaking with sobs. He'd listened to her rasping breath, the few times she'd cried out his name in a voice so tragic it made him want to kill himself, even a few hideous screams.

And he was sure it hadn't been the only time.

Damn it!

It was going to happen to her again.

He shook his head. "Why do I care?" he muttered angrily. "Why do I even care? She's a bitch!"

His eyes closed.

She _was_ a bitch. But she was also Jackie. The first woman he'd ever felt that _way_ about. The first woman to ever hear the words "I love you" from him. The first woman who'd ever believed in him.

He could fight it all he wanted to. He could deny it all he wanted to.

And he knew he'd never be with her again. Hell, he didn't want that. It was torture being with her. Hell. Pure hell. He didn't want to be with her again. Not at all.

But the fact was, he cared about her.

He stared at the yellow tile. "Shit," he mumbled. He shook his head. This was nonsense. Crap. He needed to do something. Anything. These thoughts were crazy. He didn't care. He couldn't care. He needed to get drunk, or high, or anything to forget this insanity.

He smirked. He had a big brown paper bag hidden in his room.

Time to dig in.

Now _that_ was something he'd never get tired of.

**Later, that evening, the Forman basement **

Hyde's day hadn't gotten any better. He'd felt sick most of it, and although he hadn't done anything different than he would have on a Saturday, for some reason, today he'd found it boring and irritating. Now, the gang had gathered in the basement to watch television, and he stood at the deep freeze. He was pretending to hunt for a popsicle, but in truth, he needed to not look at the others. They were all being quintessentially themselves, and they were all driving him absolutely bonkers.

Eric and Donna were teeter-tottering between bickering and lovey-dovey. Kelso was blabbering on and on about how good looking he was, and how he'd scored with two chicks at the party. Fez was fussing over Jackie.

And Jackie was gushing over the dozen red roses in front of her, which Fez had swept in with just twenty minutes ago, along with a unicorn pendant on a silver chain.

Gifts. After he'd cheated on her. Presents that made her swoon. Presents that made her swoon, and Hyde wish he had another keg to lay underneath and drain. It was all so familiar.

_So goddamn familiar. _

And she still had no idea.

It all was. It was all the same. Same conversations, same television shows, same activities. Tomorrow would be the same. The day after that would be the same. The rest of his life would be the fricking same. Nothing would ever change.

_Unless you do something about it. _

He rolled his eyes. Damn WB. It was his fault that he was having all these crazy thoughts and was this impatient with everything.

_Burn someone. That'll help. _

He turned around and saw Jackie on Fez's lap, cooing down at him, and he swallowed hard. "Hey, Jackie," he said, as he walked the short distance to his chair. "You do realize that a dozen roses usually mean that a guy's done something wrong, don't you?" He grinned innocently when Fez glared at him, and kept the grin when Jackie did as well.

Jackie stared at Steven, then looked at Fez, who was looking up at her. The look on his face was weird, almost nervous, but she ignored it. "Shut up, Steven," she said, patting the back of Fez's head. "Fez just knows how to appreciate a woman." She leaned down and briefly kissed her boyfriend's lips.

Fez nodded eagerly. "Yes, yes, that is true. I do know how to appreciate a woman." When Jackie hugged him and buried her head in his neck, he shot another glare Hyde's way.

Hyde rolled his eyes. Sure, Fez knew how to appreciate a woman. He'd seen that firsthand.

_God, would they just fricking STOP it with that? _

"Hey Jackie," Kelso said. He stood behind the couch, playing with a ball. "When's your mom gonna be back? Cause I gotta prepare myself." He grinned. "Make myself even foxier than I already am."

Hyde shook his head. "How are you gonna do that, Kelso? A face transplant?"

Everyone laughed, and even Jackie threw a smile to Hyde before looking over her shoulder at Michael. "She'll be here tomorrow morning."

She grinned that little girl smile of hers and clapped her hands, and Hyde watched her. She was excited. He wasn't sure that was such a good thing.

She turned back to Fez. "Now, remember, Fezzie, you'll have to keep her company until I get back from my interview at the new station."

Fez nodded. "Of course, my goddess, and I will spend that time talking about nothing but how beautiful you are."

Kelso nodded eagerly. "Well, then I'll be over first thing in the morning to help keep her company."

Eric grinned. "Yeah, me too."

Donna shook her head and elbowed him in the ribs. "Oh, no you won't. Not if you expect any lunch time hokey pokey anytime in the next decade. Or anytime hokey pokey."

Eric shrugged. "Okay, maybe I won't."

Everyone looked at Hyde.

Jackie raised an eyebrow. "Steven? You gonna come over and drool over my mother?"

He shrugged and turned to stare at the television set. "Sure, why not?"

Things would never, ever change. They'd be stuck in this same cycle forever. The same damn things happening.

He blinked slowly, but nothing changed. The picture around him was the same. And he knew it always would be, because he was trapped. Trapped in this hell with people who were just as trapped and didn't even give a damn.

**An hour and a half later, the basement **

Jackie nervously played with her flowers, then pretended to dig in her purse. Eric, Donna, Fez and Michael had left just a few minutes ago, but she'd made an excuse. She wanted to talk to Steven. She wanted to see if he remembered last night and what he'd done. Right over there. She'd been thinking about it all day. He sat in his chair quietly, watching tv and from the quick little glances she gave him, he hardly seemed aware that she was still there.

"You want something, Jackie?"

Guess he did. She was somewhat surprised at the tone of his voice. It wasn't harsh, wasn't mean. It was almost…well, she didn't know what it was, but it wasn't what she was used to from him lately. Huh. "I…well, I just wondered if you had fun last night."

He shrugged and avoided her gaze. "Yeah, I guess so. I mean, there was tons of beer. How could I not have fun?" He chuckled slightly. "Of course, I don't remember much of it. Including how I got home."

She stared at him. She'd suspected that he wouldn't remember anything, and yet, she'd hoped he would. She couldn't figure out what he'd been thinking last night. Of course, maybe it was just that he was drunk. Apparently that was the case. But still. "You don't remember anything?"

He looked at her strangely, like she was an alien. She seemed to be searching for an answer, and he wondered…did she suspect? Had she figured out what Fez was doing? He cleared his throat. "Uh, no. Why?"

Jackie shook her head quickly. "No reason. I just…" She smiled uncomfortably. "I'm just gonna go. See you later." She picked up her flowers and headed for the basement door.

"Hey, Jackie, wait a sec."

She stopped and turned back to Steven. "Yeah?"

Why was her breath suddenly trapped in her chest?

He shrugged. "I just…it's cool that your mom is coming home."

Jackie's heart flip-flopped, but she ignored it. Didn't mean a damn thing. She forced herself to say something snotty. "Why, so you can make a move on her?"

She expected it to make him mad, make him call her a bitch, and was surprised when he just gave her a slightly crooked grin.

"No, man. It's just…you've got another shot, you know?"

He took his glasses off, and Jackie stared at him. His eyes met hers dead on. She could see it; he was happy for her. He knew, he understood how hard it had been on her to lose her mother for no real reason whatsoever. He'd been the only one who'd ever really understood that. And unlike the others, even Donna, he knew how much it meant to her that her mom was coming back.

He understood, without her even having to say anything.

Her lips curved upwards. "Thanks," she said quietly, unsure of what else to do, what else to feel or think. "I…I mean, I hope that it…you know."

Hyde nodded, still looking at her. Her face softened the way it did in her moments of unguarded vulnerability, and he was startled that she could still be that way around him after everything. "Yeah….I know."

An awkward moment passed with the two just looking at one another until Jackie coughed slightly. "Well…I'll see you later, Steven."

Hyde nodded and watched her leave. "Yeah, see ya." The door closed, and he dropped his head into his hand. His temples were still pained, and he rubbed them. Why had he done that? He'd been nice to her. He should have made fun of her, told her that her mother was going to end up sleeping with Kelso, she'd get pregnant, and her ex-boyfriend would become her step-father. A scenario that was not all that unlikely but would still drive her insane and make her say bitchy things.

Instead, he'd…been nice.

And she'd looked at him that way. That one way that always made him want to hold her.

Damn it.

The door opened again, and he looked up to see Fez glaring angrily at him. He grinned. "Forget something, buddy?"

Fez stomped over towards Hyde's chair. "You son of a bitch, you said you were not going to try to get me caught! And what did you do? You tried to get me caught!"

Hyde stood up. His head was now pelted with fists again, and the weight of the day, of his irrational and unwelcome thoughts threatened to explode. "Look, man, I didn't mean to. I was just…" He shrugged. "I was just…"

"You were just _what_?"

The harsh tone of Fez's voice infuriated Hyde, and he began to pace the room lest he decide to punch Fez in the face. "I was just…I mean, god, we do the same thing everyday. Every fricking day. Even our conversations are the same every fricking day! Man, aren't you sick of it? Don't you ever want something different than the same old, same old?" He ran his hands through his mangy hair and shook his head. He was almost seeing red in the corners of his eyes.

Fez frowned. "No. I like the same old, same old." He smiled excitedly. "Especially if I get to have AND eat my cake." He winked. "And I do."

Hyde gaped at him. "Man, Fez, you gotta stop it with the cake. Don't listen to Kelso, okay? He's an idiot. Just…Jackie's been beaten down by enough people. You don't wanna join the club."

Fez raised an eyebrow. "You hate Jackie, Hyde. Why are you taking her side?"

Hyde cleared his throat and went Zen. He stared coolly at Fez. "I just don't wanna have to see all that mushy crap like I did today. It's demeaning to men everywhere."

"But that is the best part, my lady-less friend. Jackie is much sweeter after she gets stuff." Fez's grin turned wicked. "And by sweeter, I mean looser. We are going to do it tonight." Now his smile was proud and haughty. "So I really do not see the problem, Hyde. Now good day."

Hyde rolled his eyes. "Whatever, Fez."

"I said good day!"

Hyde sank back into his chair and stared at the floor. So Fez and Jackie were going to do it tonight. He tried to ignore the sick feeling in his stomach, the puke just waiting to escape because of the thought of Jackie doing THAT with Fez.

And she'd be doing it without knowing that once again, she'd been cheated on.

Just like when she was with Kelso.

He shook his head. Years had passed. Nothing had changed. It made him sick.

He stood up and rushed to the shower.

He needed a beer. Or maybe twenty.


	6. Once A Cheater, Always A Cheater

**Disclaimer: **I don't own.

**Author's Note: **Hope you enjoy this chapter. The next one will be much more in Jackie's perspective. This one needed to be focused on Hyde. I think maybe he's coming around. Of course, his timing isn't great, is it? And do you think he's right about Jackie's feelings for Fez?

Hmmm. Guess you'll see!

Thanks so much for reading and reviewing! I love 'em!

**Warning: **Language, a short bit of violence. Not too graphic, though. :)

Clichés and Things "They" Say

Chapter 6 – Once a Cheater, Always a Cheater

**January 27, 1980, 9:00 am, Fez and Jackie's apartment **

"You're apartment is wonderful, Fez. Very classy looking."

Fez nodded, smiling at the back of the tall, curvaceous and very, very tan Pam Burkhart. She was wearing a dress with an off the shoulders top and a straight skirt that fell to her knees. It fit tight, and so as he'd guided her around the place, he'd followed her and appreciated that fit around her backside. "Yes. I decorated it myself." He frowned. "None of my friends would help me, those sons of bitches."

Pam turned a flirtatious smile and stepped towards the dark, handsome young man. "You have such good taste. Have I told you how much I like this shirt?"

A hand with long and slender fingers topped by proportionally long red fingernails reached for the collar of his shirt, and Fez looked down, fascinated by the way they lightly scratched the polyester he wore. He smiled and looked up, immediately fascinated by Pam's beautiful face. "You are so lovely, Miss Pam," he breathed without thinking.

Pam's smile faded, and she moved around Fez to the couch. She sat down and crossed her legs, looking up at Fez with a pout that should have, but didn't, remind him of Jackie. "Well, I know that, and you know that," she said. "But apparently, Carlos doesn't. He left me, Fez. He broke my heart."

Fez sank down on the couch next to her and stared at her, a befuddled expression on his face. "I do not understand, Miss Pam. How could any man leave you? You're so…so lovely, and so…tan!" He shook his head, now angry. This lily of a woman was obviously distraught, and the man who'd put that look on her face was a fool. "What an idiot! You deserve so much better, Miss Pam."

She smiled sweetly and slowly ran her tongue across her perfectly colored lips.

Fez's wide eyes watched every second of its seductive movement.

"You know, you remind me of him, Fez," Pam purred sexily, leaning over towards him. Her shirt dipped off her chest, and she smirked when his eyes immediately gazed towards her revealed cleavage. "Only younger. Handsomer. And…" Her eyebrows shot upwards. "And much, much sexier."

He began to breathe hard. A little voice inside his head told him that he should look away from the olive toned, firm appearing, half-moons his eyes were fixated on, but he couldn't. His stomach, and another, lower part of him, tensed. _Oh, go to hell, little voice! _

"Fez…"

The back of her hand touched his collar bone.

"You haven't shown me your bedroom."

He watched in awe as the hand slowly moved down his chest, all the way to the waist of his pants, where it stopped and hovered teasingly. _Oh…what is she doing? Is she doing what I think she is doing? _

"I'd really like to see it."

He looked at her and found her smiling sexily, her eyes gleaming, and he gasped when her hand moved just a few inches lower, giving the ache in his pants a teasing brush.

_Holy shit, she IS doing what I think she's doing! _

His mind whirled.

_Okay. It is only 9:OO. Jackie's said she would not be home until 10:30. That is more than enough time! No. I should not do this. I should not do this. But…it is Pam. And she is so tan. And beautiful. And so sexy. I will never again have the chance to do it with a woman this sexy! What would Kelso do? He would do it! _

He looked at Pam. "Miss Pam, you are the best cake ever!"

She looked confused, and he grinned nervously. He took her hand and stood up. "I will show you my bedroom."

On the way, he stopped to turn on the radio. Hopefully this would keep him from humming inappropriately.

_"And here's to you Mrs. Robinson…" _

**10:05, the hallway in front of Fez and Jackie's apartment **

Hyde and Kelso walked towards Fez and Jackie's apartment, one grinning in excitement, the other with a blank expression.

Kelso grabbed Hyde just before he knocked on the door. "Wait a sec, Hyde, we gotta go in without knocking!"

Hyde glared at Kelso. "Why?"

"In case Pam is naked! We can catch her by surprise. She'll be so startled she won't do anything for a minute, and we'll get to see her jugs!"

Hyde continued to glare. "Moron, why would Pam be naked? She's in there with Fez."

Kelso shrugged. "Fez can be very charming, you know." He turned to the door and tried the knob. Looking back with an excited grin, he whispered. "It's open!"

Hyde rolled his eyes, but followed Kelso as he walked into the apartment. And to their shock, there was Fez, standing near the kitchen and staring back at them in horror.

He was naked.

Kelso pointed at him angrily. "Damn it, Fez, YOU'RE not the one who's supposed to be naked!"

Fez quickly grabbed a cushion from the couch and put it in front of his body. "Wh…what are you doing here?"

Hyde took in Fez's demeanor. His voice shook. His eyes darted. His cheeks were reddening. Even from the distance, Hyde could see the trembling of Fez's hands.

It was a sure thing. Whoever Fez was with was NOT Jackie.

"Fezzie, do you need some help? Oh….we have company." A nervous laugh. "Hi, boys."

They turned, and there was Pam Burkhart in all her tan, sexy glory. Wearing only a towel.

Kelso grinned. "Oh, YES!" He turned back to Fez, his entire body spastically jerking. "You nailed Jackie's mom!" He gasped. "Oh my god, Fez, you're my HERO!"

Hyde reached out, still staring at Fez, and punched Kelso's arm, but he didn't hear Kelso's yell of protest. He couldn't move. Fez had slept with Jackie's mother. Jackie's mother had slept with her boyfriend. Two people that supposedly loved her had betrayed her, and in the worst way possible, at least for Jackie.

"Man, this is sweet! A double burn! You're her boyfriend, and you slept with her mom, and you're her mom and you slept with her boyfriend!"

Hyde closed his eyes. Kelso had to be the biggest moron on the face of the planet. Didn't he understand how brutal this was? How devastated Jackie would be when…if…she found out?

Oh god. Jackie.

Even she didn't deserve this.

Now he HAD to tell her. He HAD to. She HAD to know about this. Fez wasn't gonna stop. Once a cheater, always a cheater. And as the anger began to rise up from his stomach and into his chest, Hyde's fist clenched. Someone was gonna pay. And that someone was gonna be Fez, although he found himself wishing he could punch a girl. Pam would be sleeping for a hundred years longer than

Everyone stared at one another. No one heard the door open.

"Fez, Mom, I'm home…The inter...view…was…."

The coat she'd taken off in the hallway slipped from her hands and fell to the floor. There was Fez, nude from the waist up and a cushion in front of him. There was her mother, wrapped in Jackie's favorite pink bath towel and standing next to Fez.

_Oh god…oh my god…no…no…NO…..**NO! NO! NO! **_

It didn't take a genius to figure out what had happened. Her mother…her new, supposedly perfect boyfriend…both of them naked…both of them…nak…naked….

It was written all over their faces.

The world around her began to spin. She heard voices, her mom saying something that sounded sickeningly sweet, Fez stuttering out something that sounded like "you were not supposed to be back until later", Michael – was Michael here? Was that Steven next to him? – chirping something about Fez nailing her mom. She thought she saw Steven punch Michael in the arm.

She was going to be sick. The vomit was right there in her chest, ready for an explosion up into her throat.

_Get out of here. Run, Jackie, run. RUN. **RUN NOW! **_

She did.

Hyde noticed that she hadn't stopped to pick up her coat, and he hoped that she was heading for her car. It was a frigid day, ten degrees below zero already, and was looking like snow when they'd arrived.

Pam smiled uncomfortably. "I uh…I think I'll just…go get dressed." She rushed out of the room and into Fez's bedroom, closing the door behind her.

Kelso smirked at Fez and moved to him, pounding his little buddy on the shoulders. "Fez, I never thought I'd say this, but you are the MAN!" He shook his head in admiration. "You nailed the hottest chick in Point Place!"

Hyde's throat was burning, and he could hardly open it to speak. "Kelso, you moron, don't congratulate the bastard." He glowered at Fez, who returned a very nervous, almost frightened stare to him.

Kelso frowned at Hyde. "What's your problem, man? He NAILED Pam!"

"Yeah. Pam. Burkhart." Hyde's voice was low, eerie even in his own ears. "_Jackie's_ mother."

Did Kelso really not understand? Was he just so ga-ga over Jackie's whore of a mother that he didn't give a damn that Jackie was brokenhearted? By her boyfriend AND her mother?

The mother who'd left her repeatedly. The mother who'd loved alcohol and getting laid more than her own daughter. The mother whom Jackie still and endlessly hoped for even just a tiny bit of affection from.

"Yeah, it's harsh, but damn, Hyde, Jackie'll get over it. She's been cheated on before."

It was a waste of time, Hyde knew, trying to get through Kelso's thick skull. So instead, he addressed Fez, pointing a finger that was shaking with the anger beginning to twist out of control. "I just have one thing to say to you, Fez. You're…you're a fucking bastard." He turned and stalked towards the door, but stopped. Closed his eyes. Fist clenched. That wasn't enough. Not for what he'd done to Jackie.

She didn't deserve this.

In a blind rage, her whipped around and walked back over to Fez. "One more thing." He threw a punch as hard as he could, making brutal contact with Fez's face. The guy fell into Kelso with such forced that both he and Kelso both tumbled to the floor.

**A few minutes later, the street outside the apartment building**

Hyde found her less than a minute after he'd started up the El Camino. She was walking, her head down, her arms covered only in short sleeves, and it was snowing. Hard. Damn it. He couldn't let her keep walking out in the cold. He couldn't. And so he pulled to the side of the road, a bit in front of where she was and hurried out of his car. "Jackie."

She looked up, but ignored him, or maybe she didn't recognize him. She was sobbing hard, her make up was running like a summer snow melt down her cheeks and leaving ugly mascara streaks on her face. She looked bewildered and confused, and he stepped in front of her, stopping her in her tracks. "Come on, Jackie. Get in the car."

She shook her head and mumbled something incomprehensible, and she tried to get around him. He grabbed her shoulders. "Jackie, you're freezing." She was shivering badly. "It's snowing, and it's gonna get worse. You can't stay out here. Get…in…the car."

She looked up at him, and the pain in her eyes made him shiver. God. He could never handle seeing her hurting. But he couldn't think about now. She was collapsing, and he quickly caught her before she slumped to the ground. "Okay. Come on. Don't…" He put his arm around her shoulders and turned her around towards the car. "Come on."

He got her in the car and started to drive, though he wasn't sure where he was going. He wasn't sure where he could take her. She was cuddled up against the door, her feet on the seat, her knees raised to her chest, her head laying on her knees, but he could hear her sobs. Her gasps for air that didn't help the pain.

And for some reason, despite all the months that he'd hated her, that he'd tortured her with cruel burns, that he'd scorned the fact that he'd ever been involved with her…despite all the millions of times that he'd tried to convince himself that he'd never given a damn about her…

Despite all that, he wanted to help her. Wanted to make her feel better. Wanted to be the one who eased the pain for her.

_Damn it, Hyde! _

He drove to the mall, and parked, not coincidentally, in front of Sears. With a wry smile, remembering that one time he'd tried to comfort her about Kelso so long ago, he glanced at her. "Uh, hey, we've done this before, haven't we?"

For a moment, she didn't move, and Hyde sighed and looked away. He didn't know what to do. What in the hell could he say? I'm sorry your mom nailed your boyfriend? I'm sorry your boyfriend nailed your mom? Oh, and by the way, your boyfriend also nailed some random chick at the party?

He swallowed hard.

"Steven?"

He looked at her. She looked so young, and scared; so many tears, so much pain. He cleared his throat. He was never good in these situations. "Yeah, Jackie?"

Her voice was tiny. "What is wrong with me? What do I do to make everyone cheat? And why…" A broken rasp for air. "Why am I never enough?"

_You were enough for me, Jackie, I just…I fucked up. Maybe you were too much. _

He shook his head. Couldn't say that. Wouldn't be fair. He wracked his brain, trying to think of something else to say.

He couldn't come up with anything, and so instead of talking, he reached over and put a hand on her thigh. She immediately took his hand and held on so tight. Like she was completely dependent on him. He stared out the windshield and blinked when he felt her body pressed against his, her head on his shoulder, their joined hands on his thigh. She let go of his hand and slipped her arm underneath his so she was hugging his arm, holding it close to her chest like a teddy bear or something.

_Damn it, Hyde, so what if her breasts are pressing against your arm? Ignore it! God, now is NOT the time! _

She was sobbing, and muttering through her sobs.

"How could SHE do this to me, Steven? My mother! I…She knew how Fez and I were…I wrote and told her…told her that he was gonna be the one…and she…she still…she….he….they…."

His stomach turned upside down, and his heart seemed to be falling.

He swallowed hard yet again.

Fez was gonna be the one.

_She really loves him. _

He never had actually thought she was really in LOVE with Fez. Not the way she had been with him. Not even the way she had been with Kelso. His ego had repeatedly whispered to him that she was only with Fez because she couldn't be with him.

But she loved Fez. It wasn't just because she couldn't be with him. She'd gotten over him. She'd _really_ gotten over him.

He closed his eyes, and admitted to himself something he'd never, ever admit to anyone else.

It hurt like hell.

Damn it. He'd have to do something, anything to get rid of THAT thought!

"Am I ugly? Am I not…am I not sexy enough?"

Her voice was bordering on hysterical now, and when she looked up and pulled away, he looked at her. She was flushed, her face seeming to erupt in some deep need. He frowned when she turned sideways so her body was facing his, and watched as her fingers began to fumble with the buttons of her blouse. "Jackie…"

"You think I'm sexy, don't you Steven?"

He licked his lips, both out of sudden nerves and a rather inappropriate anticipation. "Jackie, what are you doing?"

She mumbled over and over again as she took off her shirt and threw it to the floor of the car. "You think I'm sexy….Steven….you think I'm sexy, don't you?"

She took her bra off, and it joined her shirt.

He couldn't help but stare at her, although he knew he shouldn't. He knew this wasn't really what she wanted. HE wasn't what she wanted. She was just upset, looking for any way to make her feel better. She wanted to feel sexy.

She WAS sexy. She was beautiful. Her breasts were beautiful, he'd always thought so. And he hadn't seen them in so long….he just couldn't stop looking at them, even though her crying was getting louder and more uncontrolled.

"Touch me, Steven." She grabbed his hand and put it on her chest.

And again, he couldn't stop himself from gently gripping her, feeding his starving hands with her sweet flesh. Just as soft and as firm and as arousing as he remembered.

For a moment, he touched her. One tempting, torturous moment, until like a flash of bright light in his eyes, his sense returned.

_She doesn't want this. She doesn't really want you. Stop it. STOP IT! _

He pulled his hand away and twisted his body around so he was facing his door. He was panting, his erection was aching, his heart pounding, his blood boiling hot. He wanted her. And for a second, his thoughts betrayed him. Why shouldn't he do this? She wouldn't say no. She'd probably be even hotter than he remembered, just because she was so worked up.

And it would probably be the only chance he ever got to be with her again.

No. It would just be hot sex. Hot sex wasn't wrong. Not in this situation.

Why shouldn't he?

"You don't want me either, do you, Steven? YOU DON'T WANT ME EITHER!"

He whipped his head around, wanting to scream back at her that he did, wanting to press her down on the seat and show her that he wanted her. Show her what she could do to him, even now, even after everything, even though he still wanted so badly to deny it all had ever happened.

He didn't, because she was crying. Crying over Fez. Not him. Over Fez.

"You don't want this, Jackie. You don't really want…this."

_Or me. _

She stared at him, her chest heaving with her tears, her face an absolute disaster, and the pain still vibrant, almost glowing, in her gorgeous, mismatched eyes.

"You're upset. This…it's not…you don't…need this….now."

And then she was in his arms, hugging him. For a second, he resisted, but then slowly put his arms around her. His hands rubbed her naked skin, and he had to swallow several times to keep himself in line. She needed a friend, not a lover. Just someone to hold her and let her cry.

He supposed it was only appropriate that it was him.

He'd done it before. He'd been second best before.

Some things never changed.

**An hour later, the Forman driveway **

Jackie had asked him to take her to Donna's, and now they sat in his car, unsure of what to say. She'd calmed down a little bit, but Hyde knew that her tears weren't over. Not by a long shot.

He cleared his thickened throat. "So…you gonna be okay?"

Jackie chuckled sarcastically. "No." She looked at him, and she didn't know what to say. She didn't understand why he'd done what he'd done, forced her into his car and let her cry, let her scream, let her try to seduce him. She didn't understand why he'd been there for her. She wanted to ask him, and yet, she couldn't. It was too much. Too much to think about today. And her head hurt already.

Her entire body felt brutalized. Emotionally raped. By two people she'd trusted and cared about. Two people she'd hoped loved her. Two people…

She had to get out of here. She had to be alone.

Hyde watched as she opened the door of the car and got out, and he met her eyes when she turned and looked back, so damn sadly, so damn brokenly.

She tried to smile. "Thanks, Steven." She probably would never be able to tell him how much what he'd done today meant to her. A thank you didn't seem enough, but what else could she say?

He couldn't say anything. He couldn't move. She closed the door, and his eyes followed her as she crossed in front of his car and headed towards Donna's house.

And then he managed to speak quietly, even as her form retreated from his view.

"Anything for you, doll."


	7. Better Off

**Disclaimer: **I don't own.

**Author's Note: **Thanks so much for reading and reviewing! I really, really appreciate them (and you) all! Hopefully this story won't disappoint you, although you can probably tell that I enjoy angst. :) Enjoy this Jackie chapter! (Except for a little part at the end.)

**Warning: **Mild language.

Clichés and Things "They" Say

Chapter 7 – Better Off

**January 28, 1980, 1 pm, Fez and Jackie's apartment **

Fez's bed was still tussled though he hadn't slept there last night. Jackie didn't know where he'd slept, and frankly, she didn't give a damn. She stood on legs that were more jello than bone, and stared at the cream-colored sheets. They were rumpled, obviously from his activity with her mother, and twisted nearly completely off the double bed.

Must have been wild. Passionate.

She didn't know why she was here. Donna hadn't wanted to take her home, but she'd insisted. Despite what she knew had happened there, it was her home. All her comfort, all her belongings, were in her bedroom, and she'd spent most of the day in there, not answering the phone, or the door, not listening to music, not watching television. Just crying and wondering.

_Was it because I said no to him the night before? I just couldn't…it didn't feel right...I wasn't ready…is that why? Is it my fault? If I had said yes, would he still have slept with my mom? _

And now, for some perverse reason, she stared at the scene of the crime.

_Was it because I'm a disappointment to her? Because I'm not exactly like her? Because I'm a bother? Because she hates me? Why does she hate me? Why doesn't she love me? I'm her DAUGHTER! _

He was supposed to be safe for her to be involved with. He was supposed to be easy for her to deal with. Like Michael had been until he'd broken her heart once too often. Nothing like Steven had been. He'd told her that he'd always loved her.

Her mother had told her that she loved her, too.

_Is this what being loved is? _

Jackie turned away from the bed that held no answers to her questions and walked out of the room. She was stiff, but numb, and even though her brain told her that her body ached with exhaustion and confusion and hurt, it didn't seem to register. She couldn't even cry anymore. Her tears had dried up, leaving a gaping hole in her chest that felt rough and sharp.

She walked into the bathroom and stared at herself in the mirror. Raven, silky, absolutely gorgeous hair. One emerald green eye, one crystalline blue. Soft, creamy, porcelain skin. Pink lips perfectly proportioned with the rest of her face. Crafted cheekbones.

The image she stared at was beautiful, despite the puffiness around her eyes, their redness, the paleness of her skin, the dryness of her lips. Even so, she was beautiful. One of the most beautiful woman in the world, she'd always thought.

Beautiful people weren't supposed to get cheated on.

But her beauty hadn't prevented her from being cheated on. Over and over and over again. There was something wrong with her that being beautiful couldn't fix.

Something terribly wrong with her.

A choking sound released from her lips, and the tears were back. She dropped her head into her hand and cried. The sounds of her tears, soft and grating, radiating directly from her chest, echoed against the tile of the bathroom.

Why did no one understand? She just wanted to be loved. She just wanted someone to love her and stay, not look elsewhere. Not leave her alone. Michael never understood that. Fez obviously didn't understand that.

_Steven understood that. He'd known what it was like to be abandoned. _

She lifted her face, now strewn with wet tracks, and stared at herself.

Steven had understood, but he'd cheated, too.

Whatever had frozen her and kept her body numb to the physical pain disappeared, and a brutal, rude exhaustion filtered through her limbs, leaving her with a desperate desire for sleep. Her eyes skimmed the counter of her bathroom, and she noticed the bottle of aspirin.

_If I take all those…I'll sleep. I'll sleep and never wake up and none of this will matter any more. _

She'd be better off.

Her mother didn't love her. Fez was no different than any other guy she'd dated. In fact, he was worse. He'd slept with her mother. He'd slept with her _mother_, even though he knew how much she loved her mother, how much her mother's absence hurt her.

Wait…._did _he know that? Had they ever talked about that? Steven knew. She'd talked to him about it. But had she talked to Fez about it?

Had she talked to Fez about anything that really mattered? Besides, of course, women's shoes and the latest trends in hair styles?

Didn't matter now.

She'd take the aspirin.

She'd be better off. Because where could she go from here? How could she get over this? How could she look at anyone again, including herself, knowing that's he was so repulsive, so disgusting, such a horrible person that it had come to this?

_I just want it to all go away. To stop. I just want it to stop. _

_I just want to die. _

Jackie's hand shook as she grabbed the bottle and filled a glass of water, and her stomach roller coastered with adrenaline.

"It'll be better," she said, nodding once more at the uncertain and confused looking girl in the mirror. "It'll be so much better."

She walked back to her bedroom, bumping into the walls because of the blur in her vision. The curtains were open, and she instantly went over to them. Couldn't sleep with the light, even though the day outside was overcast. But sometimes, that dreary sort of white was the brightest light of all. But just before she was about to draw the curtains closed, her eyes cleared, and she saw Steven walking towards the front of her building. He was carrying something, what looked like one of Mrs. Forman's Tupperware containers.

The bottle of aspirin slipped to the floor, and she spilled some water on her foot.

What was he doing here? Had he come to check on her? Had he been worried about her?

She looked down at herself. She was dressed in ratty sweats and a t-shirt that had once been her father's. Not exactly high fashion, and not at all flattering. She hadn't combed her hair, or put on makeup. She couldn't let him see her this way!

The knock on the front door carried into her bedroom, and she took a deep breath. Maybe it didn't matter.

Maybe nothing at all mattered.

Another knock, and Jackie sighed. She set the water down on her dresser and headed towards the front of the apartment. When she opened the door, there he was, wearing a slightly uncomfortable, small smile.

"Hey," he said.

Jackie tried to smile, but knew she hadn't. "Hey."

"I uh…I brought you some of those devilled eggs you like."

Her eyes dropped to the container, then raised back to Steven in surprise.

He almost seemed to flush. "Mrs. Forman made them."

His explanation was too quick, and Jackie knew he was lying. He'd made them for her. He remembered how much she liked them. A tiny but real smile crossed her lips, and she took the container. "Thank you, Steven," she said gratefully. Why was he being so sweet? Why was he being so there for her? It was the last thing she'd expected, and yet, it was what she craved. "Come on in."

They settled on the couch, and Jackie set the container on the coffee table. She wasn't hungry. Hadn't been since yesterday. Maybe she'd eat them later. She looked at Steven, and he nodded slightly. He understood.

"So. How…how are you?"

She looked at the floor. Ugly carpeting. Such ugly, ugly carpeting. Someday she'd have beautiful carpeting. Maybe. "Not so good."

He nodded and watched her. She looked so…she looked bad. She'd been crying, probably screaming, her voice sounded hoarse and was lower and softer than normal. "Yeah, I…I can understand." She didn't look up, and he cleared his throat. He wasn't sure why he'd come over. Just the thought of her being here alone, where _it_ had happened…it angered him, and all he could think of was to come over. "You, uh, you know what you're gonna do?"

Of course she did. She had to. There was only one solution for this situation.

Jackie looked away and squeezed her eyes closed. Should she tell him that she was planning on downing a bottle of aspirin?

No. No. She could never tell anyone that.

"No." A pause. "I'm still trying to figure it out."

Hyde stared at her, and said nothing. After a moment, she turned and looked at him, and he met her eyes. God, she really didn't know what she was gonna do! That sheen of confusion, of indecision, of temptation to forgive…it was all right there. His stomach tightened, and his fingers curled into his palms. "Jackie, what's to figure out? Kick Fez and your mom to the curb." He shook his head in disgust. "You're better off without them."

Jackie shook her head slowly, and her mouth curled into itself. Typical Steven response. And such a tempting one. She just…she wasn't like him. She wasn't one who didn't need people. She DID need people. She couldn't be alone. Ever. Wasn't that part of the reason she'd decided to go after Fez in the first place? She'd needed a boyfriend, and he was there. And it was…or had been…better than being alone. "It's not that easy, Steven."

Hyde stood up and began pacing. His shook his head, breathed hard, extended and retracted his fingers. How could she be thinking that way? After what that son of a bitch and whore did to her? "God, Jackie, do you realize what they did? Your MOTHER slept with your BOYFRIEND! And let me tell you, it wasn't like he wasn't ready, willing and able."

Jackie stood up, and before she knew it, energized by the anger of Steven's reminder, threw a couch pillow at him. He caught it. "God, Steven, don't you think I KNOW that?" She shook her head, and the tears hovered in her eyes once more. "Look, just let me figure this out my own way, okay?"

He stared at her. Her way. Her way. Right. Like he trusted that. "Yeah, well, you know what?" His stared turned to a glare. "Your way sucks."

For the first time in over twenty four hours, she felt energized. Anger at Steven, for being so damn judgmental, for trying to control her for some reason she had no clue, propelled her now tingling legs forward and to him. She pushed him, and he stumbled backwards, his eyes flashing. But she didn't care if he was angry. She hurt, and he was being an ass. So much for the sweetness. "Why do you even care, Steven? Huh? Aren't you thrilled to see this happen to me? Because I'm such a bitch? Aren't you laughing at me? Aren't you secretly wishing you had been the one to sleep with my mom?"

Hyde swallowed several times, forcing back the yell he wanted to lash at her. That he wasn't laughing at her. That he wasn't thrilled. That he didn't wish he'd slept with her mother.

That he'd realized that he still…he still…

No. She was being a bitch, just like always. Assuming things were as she thought, not even questioning her own damn opinions, not even bothering to find out if she was wrong.

"You know what, Jackie? You're right." His voice cracked slightly, and he shoved the pillow he held at her chest. "I don't care."

He turned and stalked out of the apartment, and Jackie shuddered just as the walls did when he slammed the door closed.

**Later that day, 3 pm**

Jackie sat on the couch, her legs tucked underneath her, the remote control on her lap, and the Tupperware container now nearly empty next to her. She put another egg in her mouth and watched the television as a mother hugged her daughter and told her that she would always protect her, always love her. "Ha," she snickered bitterly. "Like THAT'S real."

She winced and her head dropped listlessly to the back of the couch.

Her mother. She'd come over just a little while ago, and the "conversation" they'd had still rang in Jackie's ears.

_"Jackie, I didn't know that Fez was your boyfriend. Believe me, I can attract any man I want to. I would never have gone through with it if I'd known." _

_"Mom, I wrote to you about Fez! I told you I thought he was gonna be the one!" _

_"Well, to be honest, sweetheart, I don't actually read your letters. I just skim. I must have missed that part." _

Jackie closed her eyes. Her mother didn't read her letters. Didn't care enough to find out what was going on in her life. Her stomach tossed inside like a juggler tossing red hot coals.

And the conversation only got better.

_"Sweetheart, you need to realize something. Men aren't wired to be faithful. They just aren't. And who cares? As long as they make up for it with money and presents, there's nothing to complain about. And also, you can cheat, too. As long as YOU make it up with sex." _

_"So what's the point in being in a relationship, then?" _

_"Oh, that's easy, Jackie. So you never have to work! See, you stay with a man so he can take care of you. Until you find someone better. Richer. The perfect relationship, honey, is with a man who may cheat, but is free with his money. Why do you think I stayed with your father for so long?" _

_"I thought it was because you loved Daddy." _

_Pam laughed. "Oh, honey, don't be silly. You know, this reminds me, why did you ever break up with that sweet Michael Kelso? If I remember right, he used to buy you all sorts of things. Didn't he give you a ring once? And that lovely pink sweater? Jackie, that's the kind of man you need to find. But, like I said, only until you find someone richer." _

Jackie shook her head. Her mother was so incredibly shallow. She'd always kind of known that, but that knowledge had been tempered by her hope that once her mom had sowed her wild oats, she'd finally become a mother. Never happened. Her mother was all about material things. And only about material things.

She gasped and sat bolt upright.

Wasn't one of the reasons she'd decided to go after Fez was that he gave her presents?

It was. It had been on her list. And probably the most important point on her list. Sure, she'd had a sense of humor, a gentlemen on there, but then agin, the rest had been shallow. Likes talking about women's shoes. Gives compliments. Buys her presents.

Her heart stopped beating for what seemed like an eternal moment.

Was she like her mother?

Would she one day sleep with her daughter's boyfriend? And not even say she was sorry? Would she not even love her daughter?

Tears filled her eyes.

_"Jackie, look, I did this so I could teach you a life lesson." _

_"What?" _

_"Okay, I did it to make myself feel better. Sweetie, Carlos had a LOT of money. It's going to take me awhile before I find someone better than that. I was sad, sweetheart." _

_"Mom, do you even love me?" _

_Another laugh and this time, coupled with a flip of hair. "Oh, Jackie. Love is for poor and ugly people. And sweetie…" She touched the back of Jackie's head. "You're not either of those." _

She stood up, covering her mouth with her hands to hold the burst of a sob in her throat.

_No, I'm not ugly or poor. But…but…oh, god…I can't be…I can't be just like you, Mom! I can't be! _

Then again, maybe her mother was right. Michael HAD always bought her off with gifts. Fez probably would too. They'd both cheated.

Steven hadn't been that way.

But Steven had cheated, too.

Men cheated. And maybe…just maybe it wasn't worth all this grief. Maybe she SHOULD try to be like her mother.

The thought made her sick.

She rushed to her room and started to throw herself onto her bed, until her eyes caught a flash of round white. The aspirin bottle.

The inside of her body tense and seemed to stand still.

Better off. She'd be better off. And all of this pain would end.

"Oh, god," she whispered.

And then the stillness inside began to move, to shiver with cold fear. She looked down at her fingers, and they were blurry, moving so fast with the fear.

If she stayed here alone, with that bottle, and others in her cabinet, she had no idea what would happen. Her mind seemed in a pool of mucky water; she couldn't think straight. She couldn't see straight, or feel straight.

But what could she do? Where could she go? Who could she call?

Donna would just ramble on and on about her feminist crap, and Jackie wasn't in the mood. Michael…he was out. He'd be gleeful over Fez's score. Kitty…Kitty.

She'd call Kitty. She was so much more of a mother to Jackie than her real mother. At least SHE hadn't slept with one of her boyfriends.

She grabbed the phone and quickly dialed.

"Hello?"

The voice startled her. Steven. And yet, after that first moment of shock, she collapsed into tears. He was exactly who she wanted. "Steven? Can you come back over? I think…I'm just…I might…aspirin…I think I…Steven, please!"

"Jackie…"

"Steven, please come over!"

A pause. "On my way."

She hung up the phone and slid to the floor.

And she cried.

**An hour later **

When he'd arrived, Jackie had calmed down, and she made him promise that they wouldn't talk about the situation. He'd seemed confused about why she'd called, but hadn't pressed the issue. And now they sat together on the couch, fairly close, their legs touching, her head on his shoulder as they watched t.v.

Hyde forced himself not to put his arm around her shoulder. So she was leaning close to him. So she had her head on his shoulder. She just needed comfort. He cleared his throat. He needed to say something. Needed to escape his thoughts, because they were beginning to drive him crazy. "So, uh, WB and I had a little talk the other day."

_Why did I bring this up? _

"Oh, really? What about?"

He rolled his eyes. Then again, Jackie could be a good listener when she wanted to be. When she _wanted_ to be. Maybe she did, since she didn't want to talk about the elephant in the middle of the room. "Well, apparently, he's just now figuring out that I'm a lazy ass."

Jackie sat up and looked at Steven. "So, what? He wants you to work harder?"

Hyde nodded and smiled sarcastically. "Yep, or else I'm out on my ass." He shook his head, and despite himself, despite his warnings to himself, honesty slipped out of him. "Just another person who thinks I'm expendable."

She frowned. He'd been so hurt in his life by the people who were supposed to love him. So much like her. She put her hand on his leg. "Steven, did he say that?"

He glanced down at her tiny hand on his thigh and his chest tightened. She never had realized the power that little hand had over him. "Well, kind of. I mean, he told me basically that I had to ship up or ship out."

"So what do you want, Steven? Do you want to keep running the store?"

He narrowed his eyes. "Yeah. I guess."

She knew better. He did. He loved that store.

"Then do it, Steven." She paused and studied his face, now twisted in the protest he was about to lodge. "No, Steven. You know, I know why you're so damn lazy."

"Oh, really? Do tell, Jackie."

She rolled her eyes at his sarcasm, but turned on the couch to face him. She kept her hand on his thigh, for some reason reluctant to give up physical contact with him. "You're afraid to put any effort into anything. Because you're afraid you'll end up losing it, and for some reason, you think that it'll be easier if you haven't tried at all."

_That's why you didn't tell me not to go to Chicago. That's why you never fought for us, even when I was begging you to. _

Hyde stared at Jackie. Damn. He'd always known that she knew him. But he'd forgotten how well she knew him.

_God, Hyde, get a grip! _

He rolled his eyes. "Did you figure that out all on your own?"

Jackie shook her head and turned back to sit next to him. She put her head back on his shoulders. "Whatever, Steven. I'm just saying that you should try it if you want it." She paused, and her voice softened to almost tender. "You can do it. I've always believed in you. And…" She smiled and scooted a bit closer to him. It was good to be talking and thinking about something other than what she was going through. She felt a little bit closer to sane again. "I still do."

Hyde stared at the television, but saw nothing, and his heart twisted. How could she still believe in him? After everything? He'd proven over and over again that he was worthless. A lazy bum.

And yet…she still believed in him.

Why did he suddenly feel warm?

After a few minutes, Jackie lifted her head and smiled at him. Wearily, but genuine. "This is nice," she said.

He shrugged.

"I mean, it's like we're actually friends."

He looked away and again focused a hard gaze on the television set.

"I like it, Steven."

He briefly closed his eyes. "Whatever, Jackie."

She smiled and resettled herself on his shoulder. He liked it too. That's what his Zen was covering up. It was weird, but she felt so comfortable. Steven didn't want anything from her, didn't want to try to get something from her the way Michael, and, actually, Fez always had. She closed her eyes. Being close to him was warm. She was warm.

And maybe now she could sleep.


	8. I Couldn't Help Myself

**Disclaimer: **I don't own.

**Author's Note:** First of all, as always, thank you so much to those of you reading, and to those of you reviewing! You're wonderful, and I really hope you're enjoying this story! This chapter, in my view, is a little dull, little "fillerish", one of those chapters that needs to be there, but isn't too terribly exciting. So I hope it doesn't bore you away from the story. :)

**Warning:** Language

Clichés and Things "They" Say

Chapter 8 – I Couldn't Help Myself

**January 29, 1980, 11 am, the Forman basement **

The basement was empty, but for Hyde, who sat in his chair. The television was on, and it was one of his favorite cartoons, but he wasn't paying any attention to it. Instead, he stared at the bottle of aspirin he held in his hand, and wondered if he was completely overreacting. Could very well be. He had a tendency to do that.

But then again, he wasn't. Not to this. He knew it in his gut.

The smack of the door opening distracted him and he looked up. Donna strolled in and grinned at him. "I just took went with Eric to his job interview, and the guy wanted to take him to lunch." She plopped down on the couch. "That's good, but I wasn't invited." Her eyes narrowed. "And I'm scared that Eric will make up some reason to not like this guy. I'm beginning to think that he doesn't really want to find a job."

Hyde didn't answer, and his eyes returned to the bottle.

Donna raised an eyebrow. "What's the matter with you?" His shrug didn't satisfy her, and she leaned over and grabbed what looked like a medicine bottle out of his hand. "Aspirin? What's the matter, you got a headache? Too much circle time today?"

The joking in her voice irritated him, and he glared at her. "No." He looked at her. She was Jackie's best friend. Probably outta know what he was suspecting. "Have you talked to Jackie?"

Donna shrugged. "No. I called her a little while ago, but she said she was sleeping and didn't feel like talking." He looked at the bottle in her hand, and the look on his face confused her. It was only aspirin. "Why are you looking at the bottle that way?"

"Because I found it in her room yesterday."

Donna rolled her eyes. "Look, Hyde, I know you don't know this, since you never cry and all, but crying an ocean tends to leave a person with a killer headache." She shook her head and pursed her lips. "That stupid dillhole. No. Dillhole is way too good for Fez." She shook her head. "Bastard is too good for him too. God, I've gotta think of a word that isn't too good for him!"

"It's more than that, Donna." He sat up straight. "When she called me yesterday, she sounded panicked. Like she was afraid that she was gonna…" He closed his eyes. He couldn't even say it.

Donna's eyes widened. "Wait, so you're saying that she was gonna…" She couldn't say it, either.

"I don't know, okay? All I'm sayin' is that you're her best friend, and I think maybe you better keep an eye on her." He shook his head. "I took all her medicine, but she still has all her make up and hair crap."

She'd fallen asleep on his shoulder, and he'd finally decided, after about an hour and a half, to take her into her bedroom. He'd found the bottle on the floor, a glass of water on the dresser, and immediately remembered her voice when she'd called. So damn scared. Almost hysterical.

What else was he supposed to think?

Donna closed her eyes. God. Suicide? Could Jackie really be thinking of it? She took a deep breath that felt about as refreshing as standing in front of a heated oven, and opened her eyes, instantly meeting Hyde's. "I just can't believe that she would do that." For the first time, she noticed that he wasn't wearing his glasses, and he looked…if she didn't know better, the slight darkness under his eyes and the paleness of his skin would tell her he was worried. "You know, you're acting as if you care about her, Hyde."

He rolled his eyes and masked himself with Zen. "I don't. It's just that I burned all my suits when she and I broke up, and I ain't gonna buy a new one to go to a funeral."

His chest tightened. That couldn't happen. That could NOT happen.

Donna smiled slightly. She knew him too well to buy that crappy excuse. "You gave Fez a black eye. Wanna explain that one?"

Hyde stood up and turned his back on Donna, heading towards the deep freeze. He opened it. _Think, Hyde, think! _"I was just…jealous. I mean, Pam's frickin' hot." His stomach curled with revulsion. Yeah, she used to be frickin' hot. He'd never have denied that, even to Jackie. Still was, actually, but now she repulsed him. She was a drunken bitch and a whore who'd backstabbed her own daughter. Not even her physical hotness could make up for that. "And she slept with Fez. Fez! I should have kicked his ass, man."

He dropped the popsicle he'd just picked up back into the deep freeze. His appetite was lousy today, even for sugar water.

The churning in the pit of his belly began heating up, to that same anger he'd felt when he'd seen Fez and that whore Pam.

Donna watched as Hyde stood still at the deep freeze, and she suspected that he was lying through his teeth.

And when he spoke again, this time his voice higher than his normal pitch, tight and tense and bitter, she _knew_ he was lying through his teeth.

"It's just fucked up that he slept with her mother, man. So fucked up."

Donna nodded and began to agree, but turned to look at the back door when it opened. She stood up and did her best to smile. "Jackie, I didn't think you'd be around."

Jackie, feeling like crap and knowing she looked like crap, grimaced and stopped just inside the door. "Fez isn't here is he?"

Donna shook her head. "No." She smiled, this time for real. "I'm glad you're here."

Jackie shrugged and walked over to the couch and Donna. "I was going crazy in my apartment. Kept going into his room and thinking of…" She shook her head roughly. No. No. She was not going to think about it.

"Well," Donna said, pulling Jackie into a hug. "It's good that you're here. Out of your apartment. I'm proud of you."

Hyde watched the two girls hug, and he swallowed, though it was difficult because of the lump in his throat. Jackie looked so beautiful; she couldn't help but be beautiful, but so lackluster. Dying beauty, unlike her normal vibrancy. It hurt….no. It just bugged him. She was good eye candy, and sparkling eye candy was better than muted eye candy.

Right. Yeah. That's all that was bugging him. Uh huh.

Jackie pulled away from Donna and looked past her, to Steven. "Hi, Steven," she said. He nodded at her, stared at her, but didn't say anything, and it made her nervous. She noticed a bottle on the coffee table, her aspirin bottle, and her brow furrowed. She looked up at Steven, and his eyes were still on her. Searching. Almost probing.

And knowing.

He knew. And he'd taken all the medicine out of both hers and Fez's medicine cabinets. He had to have been. He'd taken them….because he'd known. It was a good thing, too, because several times that night after she'd woken up alone, to a short note from Steven, she'd been tempted to swallow bottle after bottle of pill, just to make the haunting and the hurting stop. But there were none anywhere, and she hadn't had the guts to swallow dish soap or shampoo.

She smiled slightly, not quite sure what to say, or to think, or to feel.

_He still knows me. Even after everything…how is that possible? _

_And…he must care. At least a little bit. At least he doesn't want me to die. _

He raised her eyebrow at her, and she knew that he knew that she knew he knew.

And a tiny ripple of understanding, of that same warmth he'd given her yesterday just by sitting next to her, waved through her body.

The door opened, and Kelso walked in, followed by Fez. Suddenly, the atmosphere in the basement took a melodramatic turn; the room was filled with silence that was so loud it echoed, four people staring at one another and all unable to speak, and the cold wind that had escorted the newcomers in, like a frigid, foreboding omen.

Jackie turned and stared at Fez. Much like yesterday, when she'd stared at his bed, she couldn't take her eyes off of him. He had a black eye, and though she didn't know how he'd gotten it, she was glad. It pleased her, and she almost smiled. Almost.

Until she remembered that he'd slept with her mother. Her mother had slept with him. The guy who called her "angel" and "goddess" had slept with her mother!

The adrenaline rush was dizzying, and everything around her became dizzy, but she fought through it and began to stomp towards the door.

"Wait, Jackie, please!"

She stopped and swallowed hard. Her boyfriend. No. Ex-boyfriend. He _was_ her ex-boyfriend, wasn't he? Wasn't that what she'd decided? Had she decided anything at all? She didn't know. She didn't know anything!

"Please…just let me talk to you for a minute. Half a minute if that's all you want to give me. Let me…let me explain."

She shouldn't. She shouldn't give him anything. She didn't owe him anything. Not after what he'd done. And yet….she turned around. That part of her, the part who lapped up all her mother's words as gospel, the part of her that was desperate for any male attention, any affection at all, any slight spark of desire for her, no matter what the cost…she took control. "Fine."

Her voice sounded so small. She felt so small. Probably because she knew she should run, knew she shouldn't give him a chance to explain, knew she was doing the same thing she'd done with Michael over and over again…and knowing that she didn't have the strength to do otherwise.

She'd never let Steven explain. At least, not at first. But that had been different. So different.

"But everyone else has to stay."

Fez looked around nervously, and then nodded. "Fine." He stepped closer to Jackie, but stopped when she stepped back, her hands raised defensively. "Jackie, I…I am so sorry. I don't…I don't know what happened."

Hyde glowered at Fez, and took comfort in the fact that Fez's eyes kept nervously flittering towards him. _He_ knew what'd happened.

"I…I just couldn't help myself, Jackie."

Jackie laughed bitterly. "You couldn't help yourself? Is that the best you've got? 'Cause if it is, I'm leaving." Talk about cliché. Talk about predictable. The same old story that all cheaters used.

"No! Okay, look. I just…Jackie, Pam is so lovely and tall and tan…"

Hyde's fist balled up, prepared to land another violent blow on his "friend's" face.

"I could not resist. I've always wanted her, Jackie, since the first time I saw her."

Soreness circled round and round inside Jackie's chest, making her lips purse in pain. She could barely speak. So much for him always loving _her_, the way he'd told her. The way she'd counted on. Apparently, it had been nothing but a line that he'd known would draw her in. "But…you told me you've always loved me."

And she'd believed him, enough to risk herself again.

Hyde turned and walked back to the deep freeze, and stood there, his eyes locked on the top of it. He couldn't watch the hurt on Jackie's face. Could barely stand to hear the pain in her voice, the voice that was shrinking with each word she spoke.

They'd all done this before. A different guy, sure, but one trying to explain to her why he'd cheated.

Couldn't help himself. Heh. At least _he _hadn't used that lame excuse. Of course…he _could_ have helped himself. He just hadn't.

His stomach twisted.

"But my angel, loving and wanting are two different things! For example, I would…will…write you songs and buy you presents. But I would NOT write songs or buy presents for Pam or Mandy."

There was that melodramatic shiver in the air once again.

Both Jackie and Donna stared at Fez. And both spoke the same question.

"Who's Mandy?"

Fez's eyes widened to near saucers, and his entire body constricted with paralysis.

Hyde turned around and tried not to smile. Served the asshole right.

"Uh, she is…Mandy is my…"

Kelso grinned. "Mandy's the hot chick Fez nailed at the party the other night." Kelso's smile quickly faded as everyone glared at him, and he nervously pointed at Hyde. "Hyde and Eric knew, too!"

Donna grimaced. "I'm gonna kill Eric!"

Jackie turned around and looked at Steven, and instantly, she knew that he had in fact known. Her heart sank. So much for being friends. So much for him actually caring about her. Or maybe that was why he'd been so nice to her. He'd felt sorry for her. Nothing more. No real friendship, he'd just felt sorry for her. Her lips trembled.

He'd known and hadn't told her.

And for some reason, that hurt more than knowing Fez had slept with someone else besides her mother. Or maybe she was already entering the numb stage.

She didn't know. She didn't know anything anymore.

All she knew that she wanted it to stop. All of it. She was sick of feeling this way. Sick of having to hear this same old thing from every man she became involved with.

Hyde watched her turn away from him, turning towards Donna and into the other girl's arms, and he swallowed hard, something he found himself doing so frequently lately his throat was scraped raw. She hadn't looked at Kelso the way she'd just looked at him, with those betrayed eyes.

She'd expected more from him.

God, why did she always expect more from him?

"Jackie…" Fez's voice was rising to hysterical. "Come on, you have to understand! It was like that time we went shopping and you saw that outfit that you knew would be perfect for you, even though you had just bought a different outfit that was also perfect for you, and in the long run, better for you because it was comfortable and this new one wasn't so comfortable but was so sexy you just had to have it."

It broke her, and she began sobbing in Donna's arms. Donna glared at each and every male in the room by turn. "You know, you all are complete assholes! Can't you think about anything other than sex? God, you're all such pigs! And I hope your _little friends_ all shrivel up into tiny, little, wrinkly raisins!" She smirked. "Of course, with you dillholes, I'm sure there wouldn't be much shrinkage involved!" She looked down at Jackie. "Come on, Jackie. Let's get out of here."

Kelso glared at the girls as they left. "Well, that was uncalled for!"

Hyde rolled his eyes.

It wasn't.

And Donna was right. They were pigs. They'd always been pigs. Probably always would be.

Just like nothing would ever, ever change.

"Guys, that did not go so well." Fez whined sadly and sat down on the couch. "How am I supposed to get Jackie back now?" He glared at Kelso. "And by the way, thanks a lot for spilling the beans about Mandy, you idiot!"

Kelso held up his hands in innocence. "Hey, you're the one who brought her up!"

"You could have said she was my cousin or something!"

Hyde shook his head. "Fez, you don't deserve Jackie back, man. You cheated on her. Twice. In two days."

Fez returned the nasty look Hyde was giving him. "Oh, you are not one to talk, Hyde. You got Jackie back after you cheated on her!"

Hyde took a few steps towards Fez. "I never slept with her mother, moron!"

Kelso nodded. "And I bet you're jealous, eh, Hyde?" It was his turn to pout. "Damn it, I am. I'm jealous of Fez!"

Fez stood up and squared off towards Hyde. He wasn't afraid. Not really. So what if his knees were knocking against one another? And his palms were sweating? "How is that any different than sleeping with a nurse?"

"You are such a moron, Fez, and I'm gonna kick your ass!"

Kelso managed to get in between the cowarding Fez and attacking Hyde, and he pushed Hyde back. "Okay, just calm down, Hyde! Jeeze, what are you defending Jackie for, Hyde? You hate her!"

Hyde stared at the two absolute idiots he wasn't sure why he called his friends. His chest was tight, and he ached all over, kind of like he had the morning after his and Jackie's second break up. And the seven months after their last break up, before he'd finally sufficiently numbed himself. Or almost sufficiently. "Yeah well…" He swallowed. "Not enough to put her through this shit." He looked at Fez.

Damn it!

His eyes stung, and he had to blink a dozen times to stop it.

"You don't deserve her, Fez. You screwed up, and you don't deserve her."

As he stalked out of the basement and up the stairs, thinking only of driving somewhere he could get drunk off his ass and forget this entire scene, he couldn't help but wonder if he'd actually been talking to Fez, or talking to himself.

Because he sure as hell didn't deserve her, either.

Inside the basement, Kelso rolled his eyes. "Fez, man, don't worry about Hyde. He's just jealous because you nailed Hyde."

Fez sighed and sank down on the couch, his shoulders rounded over towards his lap. "I want Jackie back, Kelso. I mean, I haven't even done it with her yet. I have not been pining all these years just to be denied when I finally get my chance!"

Kelso grinned and sat down next to him, and he put his arm around his buddy's shoulders. "Don't you worry, my man. I know all about getting Jackie back, and I'm gonna help you out." His smile widened. "'Cause that's the kind of guy I am."

Fez beamed and threw his arms around Kelso. "Oh, thank you Kelso! I will be eternally grateful!"

Kelso nodded and hugged his friend back, until Fez began clinging too much, and his smile faded. "Oh….okay, Fez. Yeah. That's…that's enough." He pushed Fez away, and Fez gave him a rather sheepish smile.


	9. There Has to Be More

**Disclaimer:** I don't own.

**Author's Note:** Funny, I really didn't like the last chapter, but you guys seemed to, so YAY! I hope you like this one, too! And I hope you're patient with me. I know what everyone wants, and it WILL get there. So hang in there. :) Thanks SO very much for reading and the reviews!

Clichés and Things "They" Say

Chapter 9 - There Has to Be More

**January 30, 1980, Hyde's bedroom **

His stomach was full, his body was as comfortable as a cot topped with a mattress would allow it to be, he was listening to some quality tunes and doing absolutely nothing. Normally all of the above would make his day a good one, but not today. He was distracted, thinking about his life in a philosophical way that drove him nuts. Thinking about the lunch he'd had with WB, and the conversation.

He glared at the ceiling. It was all WB's fault he was all of a sudden so restless and dissatisfied. And the lunchtime talk today hadn't helped matters.

_"Steven, I know you think I'm being hard on you. Hell, the truth is, I am. It just kills me to see what you're doing with yourself. Look, I was just like you when I was your age. All I wanted to do was have a good time with my friends, get drunk, have sex. Nothing else even registered to me." _

_"I told you before that I didn't want to stroll down memory lane with you." _

_"Well, you need to hear it. Because doing all that and not giving a damn about anything else is what led me to the biggest mistake I ever made." _

_"And what was that? Fathering an illegitimate child?" _

Hyde closed his eyes. The pause had seemed eternally long, and the look in WB's eyes had been familiar to him. Like Jackie's so often got. Clear, bright, honest. Affectionate. The way his own mother had never looked at him.

_"No, Steven. The biggest mistake I've ever made was not being there for my son." _

Too much moisture in his mouth, and Hyde swallowed.

_"I'm sorry, Steven. I'm so sorry that I wasn't there when you were growing up." _

No one had ever told him they were sorry for not loving him. No one had ever apologized to him for abandoning him. No one had ever given a damn about what they'd done to him. Except Jackie.

_Damn it, no! This isn't about Jackie! _

And yet, he knew it was. He knew it was all tied together.

He sighed and sat up, looking around his small, dirty, ugly room, in which most of the stuff in it wasn't his. Was this where he'd live the rest of his life? Was this all there was gonna be for him? He stood up and ran his fingers thorough his hair. They became caught in a tangle, and he grimaced as he pushed through it. It hurt. Felt nothing like when Jackie ran her tiny fingers through his hair.

God. He hadn't felt that in so long.

He began to pace around the room, and it seemed like the walls were closing in on him. He wondered what he'd look like to someone viewing this from the outside. Maybe like a caged, wild animal, too dangerous to be released into freedom.

_Freedom. _

_I'm trapped. Right here. No escape. _

He lowered his head into his hand and frowned. Such a damn headache.

_"I know I don't have the right, Steven, but damn it, I'm going to ask you. I want to be your father. I know, I know, you don't need one, you don't want one. But I think maybe you do." _

He hadn't known how to answer. Did he want a father? Did he need a father? He was twenty, and yet…the idea of having a dad, a real one…For all his disdain for family, for connections with people…He'd been pulled into one once. Kicking and screaming, true, but once he was there…So what if it had ended badly? So what if he had fucked it up? At the time…at the time it was…

Good.

_"And as your father, Steven, what I want for you is this. Not for you to make me more money. I want you to be happy." _

Happy?

_"How am I supposed to do that? I've got nothing, man. I live in a basement. The only things that make me happy are beer and the circle." _

_"That's not true, and you know it. And my advice on how to be happy is to get rich." He smiled, and so did Hyde, but quickly, WB's expression resumed seriousness. "Seriously Steven, to be happy, you have to decide what it is you want, get it, and then do what you have to do to keep it. If you decide what you want is what you're already doing, fine. If not, that's fine too. I'm still going to be there for you, whether you like it or not." _

_Hyde stared at him and shrugged, feeling like a three year old kid being told he had to learn to read. _

_"I've already told you what you need to do to keep the store. Whether you want that is up to you, and it won't make a difference to me. I'm still going to be your father. Everything else, Steven, the rest of your life, is up to you." _

_Hyde's eyes dropped to the table. _

_"I know you need time to think. Take another week off, okay?And Steven…you may not think that you can get whatever it is you want. But I do. I know you can. I believe in you." _

It had been a stupid, cheesy, over the top, twenty years too late heart to heart. It had left Hyde numb.

But thinking, too. About what it was he wanted. He sure as hell didn't want this same old crap anymore; living in the basement, hanging out and doing nothing with his friends who never changed, were always the same.

Watching Jackie get her heart trampled over. And he knew she'd take Fez back. She wasn't good at being alone. Never had been, never would be. She'd probably think being with Fez would be better than being alone.

He didn't want to get rid of his friends. But there had to be more. There HAD to be more than this.

What did he want?

He paced circles on the floor that grew wider and wider. Nothing came to mind.

Except her face.

"Damn it," he muttered, again running his hand through his hair, again noticing how different his fingers felt from hers. "I do NOT want her!" Fury opened in his stomach, and he shook his head. "One solution to this."

He rushed back to his cot and kneeled down in front of it. He'd tucked away something special a few weeks ago, and boy, did he need it. Possibly all of it, the way his mind was working right now. He reached underneath the cot, and instead of the paper bag he recalled hiding his stash in, his fingers felt something….furry. Furry? He frowned and pulled it out.

A little troll doll with fuzzy orange hair.

He stared at it.

_This is the first day of the rest of your life. _

There was her face again. Her smile as she'd given him the lunch she'd made him that day and shoved his suit at him. She'd believed in him then. Hadn't she always bugged him nearly to death by telling him that?

And….god. She'd told him just the other day that she believed in him. She must be incredibly stupid to still believe in him.

But she did.

His shoulders slumped and he stared at the troll doll. She'd always been the only one to really get him. To really understand what he meant when he didn't speak.

The doll seemed to smile knowingly at him. He could almost hear a high-pitched voice taunting. "You know you want her!"

Jackie.

Hyde nodded. "Yeah, I do," he whispered. He wanted her to sit on HIS lap, to hold HIS hand, to drive HIM crazy. To look at HIM that special way, with those bright, mismatched, revealing eyes. To badger HIM to do something with his life. To make him WANT to do something with his life. To hold him when he had those damn dreams that made him sweat so much.

Again, too much moisture in his throat, and he swallowed. There was no way in hell he'd ever get her back. No way in hell.

Later on, he stared at himself in the bathroom mirror. That stupid moustache. Why had he even grown it? It made him look like a porn star. And although he was certainly gifted enough to be one…he smirked…he wasn't sure that was the look he should be going for. Especially because Jackie hated facial hair.

Huh.

He traced the 'stache and narrowed his eyes. The last time he'd shaved off facial hair she'd liked it. Maybe….

No. It wouldn't work. She was too upset about Fez. She probably wouldn't even notice.

He rolled his eyes and reached for his razor.

What the hell.

**The same time, Jackie's bedroom **

"Jackie, I think you should know that Fez has still been hiding in my closet. Even since you and he…got together. In fact…" Donna sighed sadly. "That same night, I found him in my closet."

Jackie lay on her bed, staring up at her ceiling. Popcorn ceilings were so ugly. So terribly tacky. _One. Two. Three. Four. Five. Six…_

She'd heard Donna. What she'd said didn't surprise her.

_Seven. Eight. Nine…_

Donna stood next to the bed and looked at the brunette. She seemed so calm, lying there so still, the only part of her moving her eyes that were wandering rhythmically over the ceiling. She was like ice. Not cold. Frozen. Easily breakable if just touched the wrong way. And it filled Donna with anger. She began to walk around the room, her strides long and dangerous to the carpet. "God, I can't believe that Fez did this to you! And how he thinks he's gonna get you back with just an apology." She looked at Jackie and pointed her fingers. "You know, those roses and that necklace he gave you? Bribes! Because he felt guilty about that slut Mandy he screwed at the party!"

Jackie rolled her eyes towards her friend. "Thanks so much for reminding me, Donna."

Like she didn't know that. Like she didn't REALIZE that the gifts weren't because she was beautiful and he loved her and adored her and wanted to worship her. Like she didn't feel that.

"I'm sorry." Donna sat down on the corner of the bed and gently patted Jackie's knee. "I just…He's acting just like Kelso used to. I never realized how alike they were…but he's like a mini-foreign Kelso or something."

Jackie sat up and glared at Donna. "Shut up! He is not! He loves me! He is NOTHING like Kelso!"

_Oh, yes he is. And maybe…maybe that's a good thing. Because if Mom is right, that's what I should WANT. If all men cheat, I need one who's gonna make things right with presents and complements and nights out. _

_And presents are better than anything. Presents can never hurt. Presents can never break my heart. _

"Oh no…." Donna noticed the defiant flash in Jackie's eyes, just barely covering up the vulnerability. She'd seen it many times before. And she knew exactly what it meant. "Jackie, please tell me that you're not thinking of taking Fez back." Jackie didn't answer, but looked away, and Donna's head fell back on her neck with a groan. "Why? God, WHY, Jackie?"

Jackie tumbled off her bed and stalked to the window. She looked out, half hoping to see Steven coming towards the building like she had the other day. "You wouldn't understand, Donna."

And she wouldn't. Ever. Despite his girlishness, Eric had never cheated on Donna. Never would. Jackie hated Donna for that.

"You're being stupid, Jackie."

Jackie whirled around. "No. You know what? Maybe I'm being smart for the first time in my life."

Donna's eyes widened at the bitter, icy tone of Jackie's voice. This wasn't her normal bitchy snotty voice. This was something else. Deeper. Fuller. And desperately hurt.

"I've just gotta accept the fact that all men cheat, and they always will."

"Eric's never cheated."

"Eric doesn't really count as a man, Donna."

Donna ignored that. "Hyde never cheated."

Jackie smiled sarcastically. "Oh no? Don't you remember the nurse?"

Donna took a few steps towards her increasingly cracking friend. "But he felt so bad about that, Jackie. He was truly sorry about it. About the fact that he did it, not just that he got caught. Fez is only sorry that he got caught." Donna sighed as Jackie's tensed shoulders slumped. "Jackie…"

Jackie shook her shoulders back into haughty place and summoned all her pride. Donna didn't need to see how bad she felt. She'd already cried enough. She had to somehow get on with things. Make a decision, stick to it, and live with it.

And maybe later she'd cry until she couldn't cry anymore.

"Look, Donna, it doesn't matter, okay? What matters is what I can get out of this."

Donna stared at Jackie. Such cynical, cold words. Sure, Jackie had always loved getting presents. In fact, she'd always demanded presents. But even with Kelso, she'd always truly believed that it was love, that Kelso loved her. It sounded so different now. It sounded like Jackie, the eternal romantic, ultimate girly-girl who lived in the hopes of a fairy tale, had given up on love. "Jackie, is that what you want out of a relationship with Fez? Don't you want more? Something real? I mean, there has to be more than just him screwing up then buying you off with presents."

Jackie's eyes stung with tears, despite the steel she was trying to wrap around herself. "Not according to my mom."

Her voice was barely a whisper, but Donna heard, and she realized something. "Jackie," she said softly, walking to her friend and putting her hands on her shoulders. "You are NOT your mother."

Jackie closed her eyes. "Yes I am. I'm just like her. Beautiful, charming, incredible…I'm just like her. Everyone has always told me that. Oh, Jackie, you're so much like your beautiful mother!"

_And maybe she'll love me if I start acting just like her. Maybe she'll love me, and maybe I'll…maybe I'll be able to deal with Fez. Somehow. Maybe she'll love me and stay with me. Maybe she can help me if I tell her I wanna be more like her. Maybe she'll teach me how to not hurt so much. _

"You weren't like this when you were with Hyde."

Jackie looked up at Donna, and her tears burst out. She turned and walked back to the window. Steven. Steven was…so much more than Michael had ever been. So much more than Fez was. He was so…huge to her. Intense, passionate, frustrating, exhilarating…just so much.

But it hadn't worked. It had ended. Badly. He'd married someone else, and that had hurt more than anything else ever had, even Fez's sleeping with her mother.

"Steven and I…we were so wrong for one another."

_Lie. He was so good for me. He made me smarter. Better. Made me feel so much more like a whole person. _

"We were miserable together, Donna, and it's better for both of us that it's over."

_Another lie. He made me happy. Those times when he let me see him, when he saw me…those sweet times, those hot times…god….no… _

Donna shook her head. "You were perfect for one another. Never thought I'd say that, but I really think you…"

"Shut UP, Donna! GOD!"

Donna shook her head, now slightly angry. Jackie was the most infuriating person she'd ever considered a friend, and she was sick of having to nurse her over problems of her own damn making. "Whatever. But I'm not gonna comfort you the next time he cheats on you." She raised her eyebrows. "And I think we both know that he's going to. "

Jackie's eyes met Donna's, and for a moment, she wanted to spill her soul to her. But something inside, her pride, that damn pride, held her back, and instead, she snapped one angry word. "Fine!"

And she punctuated that with her best stomping trounce out of the room, slamming the door behind her.

**Three hours later, the woods **

They'd had their first date here, though it had been much warmer then. Jackie shivered and buttoned up her long coat, glad that it covered her rear end, because her legs were killing her and she wanted to sit down. The only place to sit was the ground, and it was covered with snow. No matter. She didn't care. She might freeze. She might ruin her coat. It didn't matter. She sat down and brought her knees to her chest.

Could she learn to be like her mom and ignore her feelings? Could she really live only for presents and trips and expensive dinners?

She'd always loved those things.

But she'd also always loved fairy tales, romantic stories, happy endings, where the prince and the princess found true love that transcended any problem, and the prince was always willing to fight for the princess' honor.

She sucked her lower lip into her mouth, and for some reason, reached her hand out and wrote a word in the snow.

S….T….E...V…E…N.

He'd punched out that guy who'd called her a bitch. He'd insisted that she stay with him when her house was empty. And once, he'd punched out a guy at Six Flags just for looking at her a little too long.

She'd loved Steven in a way she had never done before, or since. She'd never knew something so all consuming or passionate, or both hot and warm at the same time. With him, she'd relied on the love they had to keep them together. She'd learned to look for love in things other than presents and material things.

She frowned. She'd loved him, and she knew, or at least she hoped, that at one point he'd loved her too. But in the end, it hadn't mattered enough. He'd cheated. He'd married another woman. He'd chosen that other woman over her.

Her face twisted as the pain from remembering that took a vice grip on her heart, and she hurriedly wiped her hand over his name, ruining it and erasing it. She wiped as hard as she could, until she felt the frozen ground beneath her palm.

Love hadn't mattered. In the end, it had been worthless.

And she couldn't ever go through that kind of pain again. Wanting to die with each breath. Missing him with every movement she made. Feeling his absence from her life even when in the same room with him. Knowing that he wasn't thinking of her, wasn't missing her. Knowing he was with someone else every night. Knowing he was forgetting her with each passing minute.

Knowing he was erasing her every time he kissed that whore he'd married.

She could never, ever go through that kind of pain again.

Maybe she wouldn't have to. If she took her mom's advice, she wouldn't have to. She could shut down. Ignore that silly little girl fantasy of a fairy tale and accept reality. Men cheat. Men pay for cheating with shiny presents, beautiful flowers. Women milk it to their advantage and wind up with plenty of things to make up for being cheated on.

The sound of a car approaching made Jackie turn her head, and to her surprise, she watched the grill of Steven's El Camino slowly come closer. It parked, and she watched, with her mouth slightly open, as Steven got out of the car and walked towards her.

What was he doing here?

She turned her head when he stood next to her and stared straight out in front of her. "Why didn't you tell me about Mandy?"

Hyde shrugged. He didn't know what he was more surprised by, the fact that Jackie was here, or the fact that she was sitting on the ground in the snow. "Would you have believed me?"

She smiled faintly. "No."

Hyde sighed and bit the bullet, hoping she wouldn't leap to her feet and run away. It was too cold. And had she walked here? Her apartment was at least two miles away. Damn. He sat down next to her.

Neither of them said anything.

He looked at her and searched for something, anything to say. She looked as if she'd been crying. Of course she had. He wanted to brush that strand of dark raven hair off her forehead. Wanted to feel even just that tiny bit of her. But he didn't dare, and looked away. He felt hers on him, and took a shallow breath.

"You…your moustache is gone, Steven."

"Yeah," he answered, turning his eyes towards her. "I uh…guess I just needed a change." She smiled and looked away again, and he closed his eyes.

_God, Hyde, say something that isn't completely idiotic! _

"Plus, I…I thought it might cheer you up."

Her head twisted back, and their eyes met. They remembered, and knew the other remembered too.

Her heart skipped a beat. His pounded in his chest. And the air around them, to both of them, suddenly felt warmer.

She wasn't sure what she was doing, but she knew it was right. She pulled of one of her fuzzy on the inside gloves, and lifted her trembling hand. With a fingertip, she traced the now clean shaven skin over his top lip.

_So soft, but slightly rough. Just enough to feel manly. So warm. His skin…he'd shaved…to cheer me up? _

His eyes closed, as if he was enjoying her touch, and it made her chest expand then constrict in such quick succession that her breasts and ribcage ached with pain. It was so good to touch him this way. So good to watch the way his eyelashes fluttered against his skin. Like he was enjoying it, too. His lips opened slightly, and she pressed her fingertip against the upper lip she used to adore tasting.

_What are you doing, Jackie? He hates you! So what if he's been acting so sweet lately? Deep down, he hates you! _

She pulled her hand away and scrambled to her feet. "I uh…I should head back. Gonna get dark soon."

"Wait, did you walk here?" Hyde, intensely disappointed from the way she tore her finger away, herself away, just when he'd been considering kissing her, stood up as well. She nodded, and he shook his head. "Well, you're not walking home. It's freezing. Come on. I'll drive you home."

She didn't resist. Couldn't. It really was freezing.

And she couldn't stop herself from sitting close to him in the car and resting her head on his shoulder. He'd hate her later, she knew, but at least for the twenty minute car ride back to her house, she'd have his shoulder.

So warm. So very, very warm.


	10. It'll Never Happen Again

**Disclaimer: **I don't own.

**Author's Note: **Thanks so much for reading! And reviewing! This chapter got a little long. Hope you enjoy the chapter and the story! I know it's angsty. I just can't help myself. :)

**Song Credit: **"I Have a Dream", written by Benny Andersson and Bjorn Ulvaeus. Performed by ABBA.

**Warning: **Language

Clichés and Things "They" Say

Chapter 10 – It'll Never Happen Again

**February 1, 1980, 8 am, the Forman basement **

Hyde stumbled out of his room, his stomach growling. He could practically smell the eggs and bacon he knew Mrs. Forman would be cooking, and that was the only reason he'd forced himself out of bed. Well, that and the fact that Fez and Kelso's voices were irritatingly loud in the main room of the basement. He figured he'd frog 'em both on his way upstairs.

When he got into the main room, he stopped, looking around and feeling suddenly very, very ill. Fez and Kelso were hanging twinkle lights from wall to wall, and on the coffee table was a pile of stuff; pink streamers, a rolled up banner, a stuffed teddy bear, not one, but two dozen red and pink roses, and a toy horse. "What the hell is going on?"

He didn't really need to ask. This had "get Jackie back" written all over it.

Fez looked at Hyde rather nervously. "This is part of my plan to get Jackie back."

Kelso grinned and nodded. "Yeah, I'm helping him out. Telling him all I know about getting Jackie back. 'Cause I'm such a good friend. Right, Fez?"

Fez smiled widely. "You betcha, buddy. Now bring that side of the lights up higher."

Hyde's stomach curled. Fez was gonna ply Jackie with gifts and promises, everything she'd been so susceptible to when she'd been with Kelso. Everything that made her take him back time after time after time. And it would probably work, too, just like it had always worked before. He walked towards the stairs. "Interesting. So, Fez. You seen Pam lately?"

Kelso chuckled. "Only when they're doing it!"

Hyde stared at Fez, and the curl in his stomach turned into a tear. Had Fez kept on nailing Jackie's mom? Even after he'd seen how much it hurt her? Even as he made plans to get Jackie back?

Fez glared at Kelso. "Shut up, you idiot!" His eyes turned anxiously to Hyde, and his smile was faltering. "I just...I just need to stay in shape, if you know what I mean. So I can…" He looked at Kelso as if searching for the answer.

Kelso rolled his eyes. "Look, Hyde, Jackie has high expectations in bed. I should know. I used to do it with her all the time."

Hyde scoffed. "And did you even _once_ meet those expectations?"

Fez nodded with a smile. "Ahh, burn!"

"Shut up, Fez." Kelso made a face at Hyde. "And you shut up, too, Hyde. All I'm sayin' is that Fez needs to get all the practice he can before he finally does it with Jackie so he doesn't disappoint her. Which he's bound to do, what with the humming and all, so he needs every edge he can get."

Fez again glared at Kelso, but then gave another weak smile to Hyde. "He is right. I do still hum when I do it." He closed his eyes and shook his head. "It is my cross to bear. Much like Kelso's irresistibility to women is his."

As opposed to Jackie's cross; knowing that her mother didn't love her and that her mother had slept with her boyfriend, knowing that her boyfriend slept with her mother.

Hyde shook his head. The same old excuse for cheating, wrapped in a slightly different colored cloak. Either way, it was the same shit.

He wanted to kick both their asses. Wanted to give them both even a smidgen of the pain he knew Jackie was in right now. But he didn't, because it wasn't worth the effort. Neither of them would get it. Both of them were so thick-headed, they wouldn't have the slightest clue.

He went upstairs scowling, and instead of Mrs. Forman standing by the oven and cooking the breakfast he so craved, he found Donna and Eric sitting at the kitchen table. Kissing as if nothing else existed in the world but them. He grimaced and roughly pulled open the refrigerator door. "God, will you two get a room?"

Donna and Eric pulled apart, and she looked at him knowingly. Eric nodded and stood up. "Uh, I think I'm gonna just…go…do…something."

Donna watched Hyde pour himself a glass of orange juice. "So, Jackie told me about the aspirin." She waited, but Hyde didn't react. Her eyes rolled. His Zen was up in full force. "She said she wasn't gonna do anything, so if you wanna give her all her medicine back…"

Hyde shook his head but didn't look at Donna. "Nope."

Donna nodded. "Yeah." She looked down at the tabletop. "I think she's thinking of taking Fez back." After a moment, she felt Hyde's eyes on her, and she looked up. She couldn't read his face, it was blank, but she had the feeling that the idea of Jackie taking Fez back was not one that he liked very much. It wasn't one she liked very much either, and she stood up. "I just can't believe that she'd even consider it. I mean, god! He's a pervert, and a cheater, and he's not gonna change anytime soon." Her face flushed as her anger rose, and she shook her head. "I gotta go beat something up. Preferably a male something."

Hyde gripped the counter with both hands. His gut was whipping up some fierce anger mixed with desire and longing, and it was making him crazy. He knew Jackie was going to eventually take Fez back, but to hear her best friend say it…

_She doesn't know that you want her back. Maybe…maybe if she did, maybe it would be different. Remember, find what you want, get it, and then do what you have to do to keep it. _

The voice in his head sounded oddly like WB's.

"Do you think…" Hyde spoke before he could stop himself. "Do you think she'd still take him back if I…if I told her that…" Donna turned back around and her eyes met his, and he trailed off. What was he doing? What was he SAYING?

_What in the HELL are you doing? Don't say a god damned thing! Jesus, Hyde! _

Donna raised an eyebrow. For just a moment, half a second, she thought she'd seen Hyde's Zen break. But now it was back, and he was furiously buttering a piece of bread. She smiled slightly. Looked like her suspicions might be right. "If you told her what? That you want her back?"

He forced a nasty glare. "Hell no, I don't want her back, Donna!"

"You shaved your moustache. Last time you shaved facial hair was to cheer her up. And you gave Fez a black eye. I don't know, Hyde, seems kind of obvious to me."

Hyde rolled his eyes and pushed away the breakfast he'd been making for himself. His appetite was now completely gone. "I shaved the 'stache off because I was bored, not for her. And I already told you why I punched Fez. Jackie and I? It'll never happen again. God, this whole thing is just…ridiculous. Fucking ridiculous!"

He walked around the counter and to the sliding door, breathing hard, steaming with anger and hate and humiliation. Because it _was_ ridiculous. The idea of him and Jackie getting back together…fucking ridiculous.

_And it'll never happen again. I know it won't. I gotta stop thinking about it. _

_Gotta stop wanting it. _

Donna shook her head when the sliding door almost bounced back into place thanks to Hyde's exit. She sat back down at the table and tapped her fingers on the top.

Should she tell Jackie that she thought Hyde still had feelings for her? Should she tell Hyde that she thought Jackie might still have feelings for him? Or should she stay out of it?

She nodded. Staying out of it was the best thing to do. Otherwise, something would go wrong, and she, of course, would be blamed.

A slight smile crossed her lips. Thank God she had Eric. And thank God Eric wasn't a cheater.

**Later on that day, about noon, a bar named Buster's **

The answer to his problem was beer. Hyde smiled at the frosty glass in his hand, his third so far. Yep, good, old-fashioned beer.

And sex.

A beautiful girl standing just a few feet away caught his eyes, and he studied her as he took another swig of beer. She was nothing like Jackie; tall, blonde, busty. Her body wasn't as tight as Jackie's, but he could ignore that. She smiled at him and gave him a wink followed by an arched eyebrow.

He was in.

He stood up and walked the few feet to the obviously willing hot chick.

Beer and sex. Lots of both. The best way to forget the chick who'd wreaked havoc on his life. He'd done it before. He'd drunk himself into a stupor and wound up married to Sam, who gave him lots of sex. And it had worked.

Sort of.

An hour later, Hyde lay in an uncomfortable bed, staring up at the cracking ceiling of a cheap hotel room. Alone. Unsatisfied. And all because of one stupid slip.

He'd called her Jackie.

They'd been naked, he'd been kissing her neck, her hands roving his back (although seemed huge for a chick, almost mannish), and as he'd moved to suck a little on her ear, just about to score, he'd called her Jackie.

And she…god, she'd told him her name, but he couldn't remember it for the life of him…hadn't appreciated it much. Unlike Sam, who, the first time he'd slipped and called her Jackie, had only swatted him, pouted and told him to never do it again. He hadn't. At least not out loud.

Of course, he'd never said Sam's name out loud, either.

So here he was. Alone. Still horny.

Still thinking about Jackie. Still wanting Jackie. And still knowing that there was no way in hell that he would ever get her back.

"Damn it," he grumbled.

So much for the sex part of his plan. Guess he'd better go back to Plan A.

Beer.

Or maybe he'd just go home and hit his stash. Yeah. That might be better. That way he could burn whatever crap of hers he still happened to have.

Because god, he had to forget her.

**Point Place Mall, that afternoon **

"Oh, Jackie, stay right here. I just saw something that will look absolutely adorable on you! Let me go grab it!"

Jackie couldn't help but smile as Mrs. Forman's little legs rushed away. It felt good to be at the mall, and even better to be with Mrs. Forman. She was acting…like a mom. Like _her_ mom. Like her real mom had never acted with her. She'd always gone shopping with her nanny, to whom her mother had given her father's credit card.

Donna smiled at Jackie as the petite brunette watched Mrs. Forman. It was nice to see her relaxed, if not happy. "So, enjoying yourself?"

Jackie nodded and turned an almost shy grin to her friend. "It was so nice of Mrs. Forman to offer to take me shopping. I haven't gone shopping with my mom since I was seven." She rolled her eyes. "I tried on a lady's gown, and the salespeople thought I was so cute they forgot all about catering to her." She swallowed and looked away. "She told me on the way home that it would never happen again."

_And it didn't. Because she never took me shopping with her again. _

"But Mrs. Forman is making up for it. She said she's gonna buy me whatever I want. Whatever I want, Donna!"

Donna grinned. There was still some life in Jackie Burkhart, despite all the crap that was going on. "Hey, Jackie, I need to tell you something." She took a deep breath. Probably shouldn't be doing this, but what the hell. "About Hyde. Look, I think you should know that he…"

Jackie glared at Donna. "Whatever it is, Donna, I don't want to hear it."

"Why not?"

Jackie rolled her eyes. Donna would never understand. "Because for the first time, Steven and I are friends." Why was her heart suddenly aching? Why did the sentence she'd just uttered feel so…_wrong_? She shook her head, more to shake off the weird yearning inside of her. "And I'm happy with that. He's been so sweet to me, and I don't wanna hear anything that's gonna change that."

Donna sighed. "But what if it might change it for the better?"

Jackie stared at Donna. What in the hell was she talking about? And why was her heart beating so fast? Why did something warm seem to be swishing around in her stomach? That was her hopeful feeling. What was she hoping for? It couldn't be….no…no, it couldn't be. Donna couldn't think that…no. She couldn't.

But she obviously did. The look on her face convinced Jackie of that.

Oh no…no…no….She couldn't let herself think there was any way possible. That dumb Jackie who had depended so much on her love for Steven, and his for hers, she'd be back in a heart beat if allowed. And she'd screw everything up. It would ruin everything, and she'd lose what was going on now. He'd go back to hating her, instead of shaving for her, and letting her rest her head on his shoulder, and listening to her, and taking away her medicine so she didn't kill herself.

"Oh, no, Donna.I know what you're thinking." She pointed at Donna and her fingers trembled. "Look, it took me a really long time to accept it, but I finally did. It'll never happen again between Steven and I." A sharp pain in her chest made her pause. "I've accepted that, and now we're actually friends. I'm…I'm happy with that."

Maybe. Sort of. A little bit.

She had to be happy about it, because it was all there ever was gonna be. All that there ever could be, after everything that had happened between them.

Donna pursed her lips. "So you feel nothing for Hyde anymore? Because Jackie, if you do, anything at all, you can't take Fez back."

Jackie closed her eyes.

Did she feel anything for Steven? Of course she did. He was always gonna be the man she loved more than she'd ever loved anyone before.

_Or after. Because you can't let yourself feel that way about anyone ever again. It made you dumb. Made you vulnerable. And it nearly killed you. _

And she couldn't help but think that it was precisely because she DID still have feelings for Steven that she had to take Fez back. To stop herself from hoping. To stop herself from believing in love.

And in her and Steven.

"Okay, Jackie, here it is." Kitty rushed back to the two girls and held up a satin blouse. "Now, turn around, sweetie, so I can hold it up to you. I think…." She smiled as she pressed it against Jackie's front. "Oh, now, that looks beautiful, don't you think?"

Jackie smiled in relief. Saved by Mrs. Forman.

**3:30 pm, the Forman basement **

Hyde stood halfway down the staircase and stared down at the couch. The basement was glowing with pink; pink twinkle lights, pink streamers, a pink banner with a picture of a unicorn and purple lettering that said 'Fez Loves Jackie', and of course, the flowers, teddy bear and toy horse he'd seen earlier, sitting on the coffee table. Jackie stood in front of the television set, looking around her in disbelief.

_Probably eating it all up like chocolate. _

It was a nightmare. Even Kelso hadn't ever gone this far out there to get Jackie back.

And Hyde's stomach, his heart, his throat, were all plummeting to the center of the earth. No way in hell could he compete with this frilly crap. Even if he wanted to. Which, of course….

He did.

Fez smiled nervously and nodded behind him at Kelso, who stood by the washing machine holding a guitar. "Kelso, if you please." Kelso began strumming chords, and Fez looked at Jackie, doing his best to avoid the nasty glare Donna was giving him. "I wrote this song for you, my goddess." He cleared his throat, and in a slightly off-key but rather nice voice, began to sing. "I have a dream, a fantasy. To help me through reality. If you see the wonder of a fairy tale, you can take the future, even if you fail. I believe in angels, something good in everything I see. I believe in angels. When I know the time is right for me, I'll cross the stream. I have a dream."

Hyde shook his head. "You didn't write that, moron. ABBA wrote that. Crap, even I know that."

Fez turned and glared at Hyde.

Jackie stood stiffly, unsure of what to think, unsure of what to do. Everything around her was so beautiful, the lights, the streamers, the banner. Pink and beautiful. No one had ever done anything like this for her.

And she didn't know how to feel. Part of her was thrilled. That part of her was breathless. No one had ever gone so far out for her before. No one had ever made such a huge gesture for her.

"Jackie."

She didn't feel Fez taking hold her of her hands.

"You are my dream, Jackie. And my fantasy. And I do believe in angels, because you are one."

His words confused her. How could he say that after what he'd done to her? How he'd treated her? And yet, they were everything she'd always wanted to hear.

"I am so sorry for hurting you, Jackie, and I promise you. It'll never happen again."

_It'll never happen again. It'll never happen again. _

How often had she heard that?

Hyde clenched his fists. He'd once said that to her.

But he'd meant it.

"I will spend the rest of my life making up for it. Look, I bought you roses. And a teddy bear. And this horse, because I cannot yet afford to buy you a real horse. I will someday, my goddess. And…" Fez glanced up at Hyde.

Hyde frowned at the almost evil smirk on Fez's face. What was he up to?

Fez turned back to Jackie and took a step closer. "And _I_ will marry you, Jackie. Whenever you want me to. I will not say that I do not know and let you run away to Chicago."

Hyde stopped breathing. So much for friendship. Out of the corner of his eye, he saw Kelso smirking up at him, and he swallowed hard. Once he'd used Kelso's screw ups to steal Jackie from him. And now, Fez was using _his_ screw ups to steal any hope of Jackie from him.

The torch was being passed. He was watching it happen. And there wasn't a damn thing he could do about it, because Jackie was gonna take Fez back. He knew it. He felt it.

Jackie's eyes automatically moved to Steven, and for a moment, she saw genuine hurt on his face, hurt that flew from him to her, directly to her heart. She felt his pain and her own, and they mixed until she wasn't sure which was which.

But then her mother's voice screamed at her to accept all of Fez's promises, his presents. Told her there would always be more of this kind of thing after he'd screwed up. Told her that she could become happy with these beautiful and pink promises, shiny, material presents, rose after rose after rose.

_Men aren't wired to be faithful. They just aren't. And who cares? As long as they make up for it with money and presents, there's nothing to complain about. _

_That's what mom said. And…if I take him back…she'll be proud of me. _

_Won't she? _

_And in the long run, I'll be happier. _

_Won't I? _

Finally, she spoke, in an unsteady and soft voice. "Oh, Fez, I just don't know…this is all so…"

Hyde couldn't take it. He couldn't stand there and listen to her take him back. "Right, Fez." His voice was frigid and loud. "You wanna marry Jackie. That's why you slept with her mom, eh? To see what Jackie will be like in twenty years?"

He stomped down the stairs, heading for the door, but stopped next to Jackie and Fez. He ignored Fez and looked at Jackie until she lifted hers to his. He could see her confusion, some sort of battle within herself, but he knew how it was gonna end. It was all too predictable.

He fired one last shot, desperate and pointless as it was.

"You take this ass back, Jackie, and you're gonna get what you deserve."

He moved past her, taking care to brush his shoulder against hers. A last touch. One last touch, because after she got back together with Fez, he was done with her. Forever. When he got to the door, he turned back and pointed at her. "You're gonna want aspirin again if you get back with him. And…" He smirked. "I'll be happy to give you all you want."

The slam of the door made Jackie shiver.

She'd almost forgotten how passionate he could be when it came to her. And the reminder shook her to her core.

Her eyes wandered the room, taking in all of Fez's hopeful preparations. Her head began to swim with blinding panic.

It all began to close in on her.

She was trapped. Here. Presents, roses, cheating boyfriends, more presents, more promises….

No escape. The same cycle, over and over again. Fez would cheat, he'd decorate the basement. And each time, his gifts and promises would be more grandiose than the last.

"I…."

"Angel, are you okay?"

She shook her head and held her hands out in front of her, as if pressing all that was around her away.

It was a jail. And all the pink twinkle lights and roses wouldn't change that. She'd be in prison, condemned to unfaithfulness forever. She'd wind up just like her mother.

And yet, part of her was tempted…so very, very tempted…to accept it.

Something inside of her refused to let her, gave her the strength to run away. Even if it was only for a little while. Even if she later on came back and took him back. Right now, she needed to breathe. And right now, right here, she couldn't.

"I….Fez, I just…I can't deal with this right now!"

She turned and ran out of the basement, up the stairs, praying and begging to God that she wasn't too late.

She needed him. She needed sanity. She needed freedom.

His car was still there, and she ran as fast as she could. She pulled the passenger door open and got in, slamming it closed behind her, panting, and looking at the surprised Steven beside her.

"Get the hell out of my car, Jackie."

His voice was so damn cold.

She shook her head. "No."

"GET OUT!"

"NO!" She burst into tears. "Steven, I need to be here, okay? I need to be with you!"

Hyde stared at her. What in the hell was she saying? Why was her voice so raw? Why did she need to be with _him_?

Damn it, he couldn't stay here and figure it out.

"Fine," he spat, turning the key and revving up the engine. "But I'm not staying here. And if you're gonna stay, you better not complain about where we end up."

She didn't look at him. "Fine."

He took off, with absolutely no clue as to where he was gonna go. All he knew was that it had to be away from Fez. Away from those damn twinkle lights and roses and stupid stuffed animals and false promises.

_It'll never happen again, Hyde. You know that. _

He shook his head and gripped the steering wheel as tight as he could. Her little sobs, quiet and muffled, filled his ears, and he tensed his jaw.

No. It wouldn't happen again. She was not going to be Fez's plaything like she'd been Kelso's. THAT was what wasn't going to happen again.

He squeezed his fingers even tighter around the wheel.

Whatever he had to do to make sure she didn't go back to Fez, he was going to do it.


	11. Too Hard to Resist

**Disclaimer: **I don't own.

**Author's Note:** Thank you SO much for reading and reviewing! I really hope you're enjoying the story, and I hope you continue to! It's kind of taken an unexpected (to me) turn, but I think it'll wind up better because of it. I hope. :)

**Warning: **Language. Hyde likes to cuss, even in his thoughts. :)

Clichés and Things "They" Say

Chapter 11 – Too Hard to Resist

Neither of them said a word as the El Camino moved down the road. Jackie didn't dare ask Steven where he was taking her, and he didn't feel it necessary to tell her. Truth was, he didn't know where to go, until he reached the corner of Blake and Ardvell. He made a sharp turn, almost missing the entrance into the parking lot, and she gasped. He glanced over at her. "Sorry."

Jackie frowned in confusion. "That's okay. But…the Foto Hut? Why are we here?"

He parked just in front of the tiny building, looking slightly worse for the wear, considering Leo had abandoned it years ago. He shrugged. "I figure Fez won't think to look for you here."

She nodded and glanced out the window. "Yeah. I don't want him to find me."

Hyde pulled his keys out of the ignition. "Me neither."

Jackie flipped her head back and looked at him, and he met her eyes, but his face was unreadable. What did he mean by that? Why didn't he want Fez to find her? Damn Zen. She sighed, with slight frustration, and got out of the car.

Steven opened the door with a key on his key ring, and they walked in. She shivered. "God, Steven, it's freezing in here." She looked around, her nose scrunched with distaste. The paint on the walls was peeling, the countertops were chipping, there was random bits of paper strewn about. It was dusty, and just felt dirty. Felt lonely. Felt sad.

She wondered if Steven came here often. If he came here by himself. She noticed an ashtray on the counter with cigarette butts.

Hyde rolled his eyes. "I'll be right back."

She wrapped her arms around her waist and waited, and in a few seconds, he was back. He tossed a blanket at her.

"There. Now shut the hell up."

She held the blanket and stared at him. He grabbed the ash tray then sat down on the floor, and so, feeling rather stupid and uncertain, she wrapped the blanket around her body and sat down next to him.

_Not too close, Jackie. _

She closed her eyes. Her head hurt so much, pressurized by the weight of the water at the bottom of an ocean. The rest of her was oddly pain-free. Numb. Empty. All the shock had evaporated, leaving her with what felt like nothing. And it scared her. She always felt something. This was something new. And not good new, like a new dress or a new pair of shoes, or new lipstick.

The slight sound of a lighter distracted her from her thoughts, and she looked at Steven. He took a long drag off a cigarette, and she narrowed her eyes at the fog of smoke his lips released. "I always hated that you smoke."

Hyde didn't look at her. Tried to ignore the sadness in her voice. And shrugged before taking another puff. He watched the smoke spiral upwards to the ceiling.

Why was she here? Why did she demand to stay in his car? Why had she said she needed to be with him?

"Let me try."

He looked at her. "What? You don't smoke."

Jackie shrugged. "I know. I just…" She wanted to try it. Wanted to experiment with being someone else. Someone other than her, the girl who constantly got cheated on. The girl who wasn't good enough, woman enough for any man to be satisfied with. "I wanna try it." She met his eyes briefly, but when the familiar lightning type shock struck in the middle of her belly, she looked away. Down.

He was puzzled, but held the cigarette out for her. "Fine." He watched her put it to her lips…god, her lips were so perfect…and immediately, she began coughing. A small smile crept to his own as she tried desperately to pretend she was okay, to stifle the coughs, and he shook his head. "Yeah. Give it back." He took it back, but she kept coughing, her hand to her chest, her face flushing a bit. Funny how she could smoke a joint without any problems, but cigarettes were beyond her. He shook his head and leaned forward, reaching under the counter in front of him and pulling out a six pack of beer. He pulled one off and handed it to her. "Here. Before you die."

She took a sip, and the coolness soothed her burning throat. "How…" Still tickled. She cleared it, and repeated herself. "How long has this beer been here?"

"Not long. I stashed it here about a week ago."

"What, do you hang out here or something?"

Funny. She used to know his patterns, his routines like the back of her hand. Now…now she didn't.

There was that ache in her stomach again. She used to know him so well, and realizing that she didn't anymore was so eerily similar to losing him all over again.

Hyde shrugged. "Sometimes."

"By yourself?"

Another shrug. "Yeah."

Jackie wanted to ask why, but didn't dare. He was so tense, he seemed so frustrated with everyone and everything, and for once, she decided not to push him. Donna had told her that he hadn't been hanging out with the gang much anymore.

_Steven, what's wrong? God, you seem…you seem so lonely. _

_No, Jackie! Don't get caught up in him! YOU'RE the one who's brokenhearted! Besides, you get worried about him, it'll just lead to trouble! _

They sat silently for a few minutes, taking drinks of their beers, and him lighting another cigarette, both of them lost in thoughts they couldn't share with the other, until finally, Jackie grew tired of the silence. She needed to talk. Even if he just sat there and shrugged…even if he ignored her…even if he got mad and yelled at her…she needed to say what was in her head.

"I guess I'm kinda glad it happened. I mean, it was inevitable. Better now than later, right?" She chuckled. "It's always gonna be this way. Any guy I'm with is gonna cheat on me. Now I know that for sure." She closed her eyes. "I used to think I was just with loser guys…but it's me." Her mother's face, speaking those words she'd heard over and over, even in her dreams, appeared.

_I'm gonna have to be like my mom. A t least that way…I'll get stuff…and maybe…maybe she'll care. Maybe she'll pay attention to me. _

Hyde looked at her. He remembered how he and Kelso had essentially congratulated themselves for screwing her up…and now his stomach grated guiltily. They really had. And it was nothing to be congratulated. The pain on her face, in her tense jaw and closed eyes, was ugly. "Did Kelso and I really screw you up that bad?"

She turned to him, and their eyes instantly met and locked. He swallowed hard.

Mistmatched, now teary eyes that were so open and revealing. Peepholes into her. Even now, when she should be shutting down, she couldn't close them. Not to him. He wondered if Fez could see her that way. Right. Fez couldn't see past the next box of candy.

She nodded, and he knew what that meant. What her eyes meant.

Especially him.

What could he say? How could he apologize for being one of those "guys" that had hurt her? The truth was, he didn't know how. And it wouldn't matter anyway. So he was sorry. So he still hated himself for all that he'd done. So that hatred was growing leaps and bounds with every day that passed, because if hadn't done all he'd done…he'd still have her.

"My mom thinks I should take Fez back. She would." A bitter laugh. "She would be so impressed with what he did for me today."

Hyde shook his head, and his stomach tightened. "What did he do for you? All he did was buy you a bunch of crap." Crap that meant nothing. Gifts meant to bribe. He looked at her, and was confused. Her face had gone cold. Icy. Almost dead. All her sparkle was dimmed, all her fire had been put out. She looked beautiful, but fake. Almost like an extremely life-like mannequin, missing only the soul.

_So much like Pam. _

So….much…like….PAM.

"Exactly. And if I get back together with him, I could wind up with a hell of a lot of crap. Just like she does. I probably wouldn't even ever have to get a job, like she doesn't have to work." She closed her eyes and fought with all the sapping strength she had to convince herself. She had to. This HAD to be her fate. This HAD to be the road she took. It was the only one that would spare her pain. And maybe…just maybe, she'd find her mommy again. Even if just for a few minutes. Even just a moment. Just one fucking moment. To see admiration in her mother's eyes…just for one moment.

The idea of it was getting so hard to resist. She wanted her mother to love her. And settling for just a fleeting moment…maybe that wouldn't be so bad.

"Everyone always tells me that I'm just like her. Beautiful, charming, funny, amazing. I don't see why I can't follow in her footsteps."

Hyde shook his head. Now he understood. He could hear it in the undertones of her voice. And the realization shook him to his core, left him feeling muddled and angry at the same time. He clenched his fist, and took a long, rough drag on the cigarette that was nearly finished. A few ashes fell to his leg, he didn't feel the heat.

She didn't love Fez. She wasn't in love with Fez. What she wanted was to avoid the pain that had been inflicted on her by Fez. By Kelso. By himself. Even more, what she wanted was her mother's attention. She wanted her mom to love her.

Thickness in his throat nearly choked the air heading for his lungs. "You're not like your mother, Jackie."

_God, I hate your mother so much! _

"Your mother is a whore."

Jackie's eyes flashed. "No. Your…" She could barely breathe the word out. "_Wife_ was a whore."

They stared at one another. Dark flashes that were actually visible to both of them daggered back and forth.

He smirked. "Yeah, she was. Is. She and your mom would probably get along really well. Because they're _both_ whores." His throat tightened. "And you will be too if you take Fez back."

She stood up, the anger, pain, torture filling her with sudden energy. She glared down at him. "Well, maybe I am! Maybe deep down, I AM a whore!"

"Damn it, Jackie, no you're NOT!" Hyde got to his feet, driven by the fury she'd sparked. He grabbed her by the shoulders and held her tight, not letting her go even when she struggled to get away. "You're NOT like your mother, okay? You're…you…damn, Jackie, what happened to all your crap about love? You can't possibly believe that Fez loves you!" He'd lost control of his mouth. As frustrating as she so often was, as infuriating as she often was, seeing this, seeing her wanting to self-destruct was killing him. And he didn't give a damn about anything, Zen, pride, they could all go to hell. "You wanna know something? He's still sleeping with your mom, that's how much he loves you!"

Their eyes still locked.

She began to cry.

"I don't care about love, Steven! You wanna know why?" She put her hands on his chest and pushed him away from her as hard as she could. But he stood firm, barely moving from her force, and her fingers curled around his tee shirt, gripping it in her fists. Tears were blinding her eyes now, but she couldn't look at him anymore. She stared at his chest, the exposed skin just above the collar of his shirt. "The last guy I loved…I thought he loved me…he married someone else! He married a whore! I wasn't good enough for him…she was…I just…I can't go…If I love someone again, I'm only gonna go through it again, because I'm never enough…and I can't…I CAN'T, Steven!"

Hyde stood stiffly when she threw her head down on him, her entire body shaking with sobs. Up and down, his adam's apple bobbed as he tried in vain to get rid of the heavy guilt in his throat.

_I made her feel that way. I did this to her. Not Kelso. Not Fez. Me. The one who supposedly was better. _

_Fuck! _

_Say something, you moron! Tell her! Tell her that you're sorry! God damn it, tell her that you want another chance with her! Tell her this time you'll get it right! TELL HER! _

His lips opened, the words hesitating in the back of his throat, and that hesitation proved deadly. She pulled away from him and backed away from him, her eyes fluttering, and his heart sinking.

He knew what was coming.

She didn't look at him. Couldn't. "I have to take him back," she whispered.

_Trapped. So damn trapped. But this is the only way…the only way I'll keep myself from getting hurt. And who knows? Maybe it'll be worth it. Maybe this was just a fluke, and even though I feel trapped now, later on Fez will be the man of my dreams and I won't feel like something's missing…Whatever…he'll worship me now. He will. _

_And I'll live just like my mom. _

_And maybe she'll love me if I'm just like her. She loves herself so much…if I'm like her…how could she not love me? _

She felt his eyes on her, and she had to look at him. Just one last time. Because after she left here, she had to stay away from him. Throw herself into her relationship with Fez. Begin the process of making Fez pay for his sins. And avoid the temptation she'd always fallen prey to; to run to Steven. She'd done it again, but this was the last time. It couldn't happen anymore.

Because every time she ran to him, she remembered something she had to forget.

She remembered love.

Their eyes met once more.

"I have to take him back, Steven."

He swallowed so hard the saliva nearly took his tongue with it. "Whatever." He turned and walked the few feet to the drive through window and looked out. It was a gray day, looked like more snow was in store for Point Place.

_Remember what you told yourself? You were gonna do whatever you had to do to keep her from going back to Fez. _

_And remember what WB said. _

_You have to decide what it is you want, get it, and then do what you have to do to keep it. _

Slowly, as if guided by some invisible force, he turned around, and his eyes feasted on Jackie. Sure, her eyes were puffy. Her face was streaked with tears. But she was freaking hot. Sexier than hell. And he wanted her so damn much. Intense arousal made him shift on his feet, but this arousal wasn't only sexual. It was emotional, in a way he'd only felt flickers of before, with Jackie, of course. He'd always managed to keep that in check. At bay.

Part of the reason…a big part…he'd lost her to begin with.

She'd always been able to read him, to tell what he was feeling, thinking. For some reason, she couldn't now…but there was another way they'd always had of communicating. Another way they'd always, always been able to read each other perfectly. And maybe it would work. He couldn't tell her, she couldn't read him…he could show her.

_God, I want you, Jackie! _

He swallowed, and his fists clenched and unclenched. His body tightened and hardened, and his chest would hardly allow him any oxygen whatsoever.

She was too hard to resist. The way he wanted her was too powerful to resist.

Jackie licked her lips nervously. His eyes exuded blue heat that she felt all the way down to her toes, and that familiar tingling on the inside of her thighs began to flutter. Her heart's heated pounding now drowned out any of the lingering ache in her chest, and her limbs, from head to toe, were trembling.

_No, Jackie, no! Don't let this happen…_

He took a few steps towards her, and instinctively, she stepped towards him, too.

_NO! JACKIE! Back up! God, Jackie, BACK UP! You can't let him…can't touch him…can't…oh….oh….my god…._

His hands encased her face, those blue eyes dropped down and seemed to her to melt into hers, and his lips pressed against hers before she could even breathe. Didn't matter, because the instant her mouth opened, his hot breath was inside of her, his tongue teasing her teeth, the roof of her mouth, so expertly….his hands smoothing down her body, from her face, to her neck, to her breasts, to her waist, to her back. He pressed her now weakened body to his hard body, and she gasped. Any resistance she might have had was completely gone with that one kiss, those few touches.

Because Steven…his kisses…his touch…was too damn hard to resist.

**An hour and a half later, the Forman basement **

"Where is Jackie?"

Hyde arched an eyebrow at Fez. He'd just walked through the basement door, only to be accosted by the rather steamed looking foreign kid. "Nope." He casually brushed past Fez and headed for the deep freeze. He had a popsicle craving. Forman, Donna and Kelso sat on the couch, but he ignored them.

Fez huffed and watched his so called friend walk past him. "I know you know where she is, Hyde. You kidnapped her. Now. I demand you tell me where she is! Or else…"

Hyde turned around and smirked at Fez. "Or else you'll what? Sleep with my mother? You're more than welcome to, if that's what floats your boat." He shook his head. "And apparently, it is."

Kelso grinned. "BURN!" He shrugged when Fez gave him a nasty look. "Sorry, buddy, but that was a sweet burn!"

Fez shook his head and pointed a shaky finger at Hyde. "You are trying to ruin my relationship with Jackie."

Hyde rolled his eyes. "Give me a fucking break, Fez. _You_ did that all by yourself when you slept with her _mother_."

Donna stood up, looking disgusted. "He's right, Fez. And just so you know…" It was her turn to point, and she pointed at Fez. "I'm gonna do everything in my power to make sure that she doesn't take you back." She shook her head. "God, you make me sick! Like this crap is going to make what you did better!" She reached out and knocked the toy horse off the table, then turned back to her boyfriend. "Come on, Eric."

They left, and Hyde followed, giving Fez one more evil eye on his way out.

Fez stood still, shaken by the attacks from all sides.

Kelso patted him on the back. "Come on, buddy. What you need now is beer and chicks."

Fez glared at him. "No! What I need is a new plan, since yours didn't work!"

Kelso shrugged. "Sorry, man, I don't know what went wrong. We got all the crap that she likes. It always used to work for me when I cheated on her."

Fez sank down on the lawn chair and stared sadly at the table that still held the roses he'd bought Jackie. "I will never get her back now, Kelso. I have lost her for good, thanks to Hyde." He shook his head. "I do not know what to do now."

Kelso rolled his eyes. "Man, we'll think of a new plan. Look, parties are great places to think. I mean, you got beer, which is totally inspiring. And chicks…also totally inspiring." Fez didn't smile, and Kelso sighed. "Alright, look. What if I promise you that there will be candy and porn, too? Lots of it?"

Fez looked at Kelso, and a slow smile spread across his lips. "Beer, candy, chicks, and porn?" he said eagerly. He stood up, his smile now huge. "Why did you not say that right away? That is just too hard for even a strong man to resist, and I am not very strong!"

Kelso clapped his buddy on the back. "I know, man! Now lets go before all the good porn is taken!"


	12. I Need Space

**Disclaimer: **I don't own.

**Author's Notes: **Thank you so very much for reading and reviewing! It's so fun to get your perspective on the story...it's not always the same as mine, and it's really helpful to me. :) I'm sorry there hasn't been more Eric in this one, but there will be in the coming chapters. Hope you are continuing to enjoy the story...it's gonna be a fairly long haul, I'm afraid. So be patient:) Please:)

**Warning: **Language.

Clichés and Things "They" Say

Chapter 12 - I Need Space

**February 1, 1980, 6:30 pm, Jackie's apartment **

The long walk she'd taken after Steven dropped her off had been therapeutic. Damn cold, but therapeutic. And now, Jackie was certain of what she had to do. Steven would hate it, probably would hate her, but it was for the best. It was. Of course it was. If she wanted to keep her sanity, if she wanted to protect herself, it was the only choice, especially after what happened at the Foto Hut. She knew that. That truth screamed in her bones.

Now she had to put Plan A into action. And if she was weak, if she faltered, she had a Plan B. The end result was the same for both; it would just take longer under Plan B.

Despite her determination, as she unlocked and opened the door to her apartment, there wasn't any relief. Her body ached with heaviness, leadenness, and her legs hardly managed to walk inside. And when she saw Fez sitting on their couch, no surprise, no real emotion broke through it, though she felt a twinge of obligation in her stomach. She'd made up her mind, and there was no changing it now.

_It's for the best. Everyone will…eventually…be better off. If I don't do this, who the hell knows what will happen. And I can't…I can't take that risk. Not again. Not ever again. _

She took a deep breath and tried to smile as Fez stood up and looked at her hopefully. "Hi. I uh…I was just going to call you."

Fez nervously licked his lips. "Oh, really? I…I brought you more roses. And..." He picked up a black velvet box topped with a red bow from the coffee table. "And another present."

Jackie's eyes sized up the box. Too big for a ring. Too wide for a necklace. Probably a bracelet, or a pair of earrings. Her lips curled up at the corners. Her mother would be so proud at her assessment skills. She'd always told her that the present should determine response; rings demanded tears and repeated kisses that suggested more, necklaces, sighs and a few strategically placed but chaste kisses, temptingly near but not actually on the mouth, and earrings, a soft hand to the cheek, followed by a short kiss. She'd learned well. If only her mother could see that.

_"Your mother is a whore. And you will be too if you take Fez back." _

Her eyes closed, and she shook her head, trying to erase the memory of Steven's words. He'd just been upset, for whatever reason, one she still couldn't figure out. He hadn't meant them.

And even if he had, even if she was a whore for taking Fez back…

Maybe it was okay. Hell, the alternative was being miserable. At least this way, she'd get something other than heartbreak out of a relationship. And her mom would be proud. She'd have to be. It was the only scenario in which she'd win all ways.

She sat down on the couch. "Okay, look, Fez." Her voice quivered. She couldn't look at him, and so instead, stared at the roses on the table. So beautiful. Hey, pretty soon she could have her entire apartment full of them, and it would smell so sweet, look so pretty. How could she not be happy in an apartment full of roses? She twisted her hands together, tight, as if to remind herself of the pain she was in for if she didn't go through with this. "I've been doing a lot of thinking, and I'm gonna take you back."

Fez's eyes brightened, and like an excited puppy being rewarded by his master, he sat up straighter. "Really? Oh, angel, oh, my goddess…" Thank GOD he'd changed his mind about the party with Kelso and come here instead! Finally, things were going his way!

Jackie held up a hand. "Wait. There's gonna be a lot of conditions. A LOT of conditions." She pointed at him. "You're gonna have to really work to get my trust back. I want presents, lots of presents, dinners out, compliments all the time…"

"So….basically, what you are saying is that you want me to do whatever you tell me to." He smiled. "I can do that."

"You're gonna have to worship me. And let me repeat, lots and lots of presents."

And there it was. The defensive shield of shallowness her mother had taught her. Of materialistic lust. It had been so easy a few years ago. So natural.

Why did it feel so strained now? Why did it feel so…wrong?

Fez scooted towards her on the couch and hesitantly reached for her hand. She didn't jerk it away, and so he lifted it to his lips. "I will, Jackie. And I promise. It will never happen again."

Jackie smiled weakly. Sure. She'd heard that often enough to know that it wasn't true, and the brush of his lips over her knuckles did nothing to convince her otherwise. Even the contriteness in his voice, the nervous look on his face…she knew it would happen again. It always happened again.

"May I kiss you, Jackie?"

The moment of truth. If she let him kiss her, they were back together. If she let him kiss her, she was committing herself to her plan, to becoming like her mother, to learning to only love material things and money.

_"You're NOT like your mother, okay?" _

She squeezed her fingers tighter. _Yes, I am, Steven. Or at least I will be. I'm gonna make myself be. _

"Jackie?"

She nodded, and even before she could close her eyes, his lips were on hers. Soft. Sweet. Not threatening, not demanding. Very nice…Fez was a good kisser.

But when she closed her eyes, it wasn't Fez's face she saw. It wasn't his lips she felt. And it wasn't anything he'd said or given her that she was remembering.

_She pulled away and looked up at Steven, her face hot, her body trembling so much she had to hold onto his arms just to stay on her feet. "Steven, what are..." _

_"Jackie." His voice was low and husky, his chest moving with jerky motions. "Just shut up for once." _

_She tried to respond, but his lips were on hers again. Hard. Hot. So passionate. Demanding something from her. Stirring something deep inside of her that made her whimper and move closer to him, kiss him harder, kiss him deeper. _

_Made her want to love him again. Forever. _

The memory forced Jackie's eyes open, and she pulled out of the kiss like she'd been shot in the forehead, a gasp escaping her lips. It wasn't Steven she was kissing now. It was Fez. Fez was her boyfriend. She was getting back together with Fez. She was going to be like her mother, and milk Fez's betrayal for all it was worth.

_And it's so wrong. Because you still love Steven. _

Fez looked at her, confused, until he noticed the slight pant in her breath, and he smiled proudly. "Yes, my kisses often leave me breathless."

She stared at him, unable to do anything but. Her mind spun a tornado of thoughts, her body whipped a hurricane of emotions she'd thought she had under control. And suddenly, she felt sick. Helpless. Panicked. She felt like she was standing at the edge of a mile-high cliff that dropped to a carpet of weather sharpened rocks.

If she jumped, she would die. And getting back together with Fez, now, like this…would be jumping. To her death.

"I…I can't do this, Fez," she whispered, scooting backwards on the couch, away from him. "I just…I can't." She stood up, breathing harder and harder as the claustrophobia of being near Fez began to take her hostage.

Fez stood with a frown. "But my goddess…"

"No! Fez, I can't do this! I need space! I need time!" Her eyes burned, but no tears fell. She was beyond them. "I gotta…I gotta get out of here, Fez."

Fez watched as his beautiful angel began to pace the living room, her limbs shaky, her face twisting with unreadable expressions. "We could go to the mall, my sweet. There's a sale…"

"NO!" She looked at him, her head flaming. Didn't he understand? Couldn't he SEE? "No, Fez, I gotta get out of Point Place! God, don't you get it? I have to get away from you…from everyone…especially from Steven!"

She had to. She had to get away from him. Far away from him. So he couldn't touch her. Couldn't talk to her. Couldn't read her. Couldn't get to her. Couldn't remind her of what love felt like. She had to forget. Love and him.

And they were inextricably connected. The Foto Hut proved that.

Damn him!

"Why do you have to get away from Hyde? And I thought you were taking me back! You kissed me!"

She shook her head. "I…it was…I can't do this, Fez. Not now…Maybe…I need time…I need space…" And now the tears began. "I gotta get out of here!" She turned and headed towards her room.

"But what about us, Jackie?"

"I don't know, okay! I don't know! I just know…right now…I need to get out of here!"

She slammed her bedroom door closed and locked it. Just in case. Fez had a habit of barging in. She leaned back against it, her eyes closed, her chest heaving with the sobs that were now dry, but just as painful. Her head throbbed. How could confusion hurt so much?

Damn Steven! Damn him for doing this to her. For reminding her. For making this impossible for her. And she knew it was just for his own sick pleasure. It wasn't like he really wanted her back. He just didn't want to see her happy, and was going to do whatever the hell it took to ruin everything for her.

Well, that's what Plan B was for. She'd get away, she'd indulge herself for a few weeks, she'd remind herself of everything that was so very, very wrong with Steven Hyde, she'd come home with a new attitude, a new determination, a new Jackie. One more like her mom. One that would take advantage of pain and not just suffer it.

A knock on the door startled her, and she moved away from it.

"Jackie, where are you going? What about us?"

She furiously wiped her eyes. "I'm going away for awhile. And…" She walked over to her closet and opened the door. "We'll talk about…us… when I get home."

_If I come home. _

**February 1, 9:30 pm, the Forman basement **

"So, Hyde."

He didn't take his eyes off the tv. "What?"

Donna rolled her eyes. Hyde sat in his chair, his body framed in his normal position, legs spread out, arms across his chest, an expressionless face, his sunglass covered eyes focused in the direction of the television. "I was just curious. What exactly did you and Jackie do yesterday after you left?"

Hyde shifted angrily in his seat. For all her pretense otherwise, Donna could really be nosy. "Nothing."

"Give me a break. Nothing?"

"We drove around, I took her home. Satisfied?"

Donna arched an eyebrow. "Did you talk at all?"

"We're talking about Jackie, Donna. She talked. I sat there, bored out of my mind."

"Well, what did she say?"

He glared at her. "How the hell should I know? It's not like I was listening."

_God, Donna, shut the hell up! Stop asking me about it. God! _

Donna smirked. And out came the burns. Which meant one thing. "Boy, Hyde, you're sure being secretive." She smiled sweetly. "And really protective of Jackie." She bobbed her eyebrows. "Wonder what that means."

Hyde ignored her and turned his attention back to the television. Damn it. He didn't want to talk about this. Didn't want to think about it. Wanted at least five minutes of peace.

"Donna, there you are." Eric jogged down the stairs. "Hey, Jackie's on the phone for you."

Donna looked at Hyde. "You wanna talk to her, Hyde?" He ignored her, and she chuckled, moving on the couch so she could reach the phone. She picked it up, then smiled at Eric, who'd sat down next to her, close. "Hey Jackie. Yeah. Space? What kind of space? Are we talking outer space?"

Hyde glanced at Donna, who looked confused. He had a feeling he knew what Jackie was saying. She'd told her about her mother's "gift". She'd been nearly hysterical at the time, but he'd caught the gist of her words.

_"My mom bought me a ticket to Hawaii. She told me that sunshine and tequila would make me forget this ever happened. I wasn't gonna go, but…maybe…" A teary gasp. "Maybe I should. Maybe…maybe that'll help." _

"Wait, what? Why are you going to Hawaii?" She looked at Hyde, but he was still staring at the tv.

He swallowed hard. She was going. What did that mean? Why was she going? Because of what happened? Or because of Fez? Whatever the reason, she was going, and the thought made his stomach sore.

"Oh….fine. No, Jackie, that's fine. I'll take you to Chicago." She rolled her eyes at Eric. "Okay. I'll see you then." She hung up the phone. "Great. Eric, I can't hang out with you tomorrow. I have to drive Jackie to Chicago. Apparently, she's taking a little vacation to Hawaii and she has to fly out of O'Hare." She shook her head. "Says she needs space. From Point Place and everyone in it."

Eric grinned. "Hey, maybe if I sleep with your mom she'd give you a free trip to Puerto Rico." He laughed when Donna slapped his chest. "Just something for you to think about."

Hyde swallowed. Now or never. One more last ditch effort, then he was done. "Hey, man, if you have plans tomorrow or whatever, I'll take her to Chicago." He tried to sound casual, but even to his own ears his voice seemed tense and anxious.

Eric stared at him. "You're volunteering to spend two to three hours in a car with Jackie? You feeling okay, Hyde? Have you gone off the circle again?"

Hyde clenched his jaw. Should have known he would catch shit for this. But still…god, after what happened at the Foto Hut, he had to suck it up. "Look, you don't want Jackie going back to Fez, right?" He looked at Donna, and she nodded. "Fine. Then let me take her to Chicago."

Donna stared at him. Her first inclination was to burn him, tease him about Jackie, but something stopped her. Some trace of honesty and truth in his voice. She took a deep breath, and hoped that by agreeing, she wasn't setting the stage for someone's death. Hyde's or hers. "Fine. You take her to Chicago." She looked at Eric. "We better go to Kenosha or something tomorrow so Jackie can't hunt me down and kill me." She turned and pointed at Hyde. "And you better make sure she doesn't take that cheater back."

Hyde nodded. Yeah. If it killed him, he would.

And he was pretty sure that it was gonna kill him.


	13. Burning Bridges

**Disclaimer:** I don't own.

**Author's Note: **Okay, the song I've used in this chapter wasn't actually released until 1982, but it's SOOO perfect and so fits this chapter that I had to use it. So lets just play pretend. :) After this chapter, Jackie and Hyde's storylines will be separate, but parallell in a sense, so I hope you don't mind. This story is not exactly playing out the way I first envisioned it, but I'm excited about the turn! And I hope you enjoy the journey. It might be a long one. My stupid mind. :) Thanks SO much for reading and reviewing! You guys are far sweeter than I deserve!

**Warning: **Mild language

**Song Credit: **"Hard to Say I'm Sorry", written by Peter Cetera and David Foster. Performed by Chicago. Sigh...I just love Peter Cetera's voice!

Clichés and Things "They" Say

Chapter 13 – Burning Bridges

**February 2, 1980, 9 am, Jackie's apartment **

Jackie sat on her couch, tapping her fingers against her knees in perfect time with her feet. It was already 9 o'clock, and she'd asked Donna to be here at quarter till nine. She was probably saying some long, romantic goodbye to her skinny little boyfriend. She rolled her eyes. Typical lumberjack.

The knock on her door lifted her from the couch, and she rushed the few feet to answer it. "Finally!" she exclaimed as she opened the door, but as soon as she did, as soon as her eyes flittered over the person standing there, her voice died in her throat. It was Steven. And immediately, her heart found a sprinter's speed, her stomach a sinking ship's motion.

"Hey." Hyde smiled slightly, but faltered when she didn't answer, just stared at him with those eyes. "Heard you needed a ride to Chicago."

She shook her head and stepped backwards, stumbling over her own tiny toes. "No I don't. Donna's taking me."

"About that. The thing is that Donna had plans with Forman, so…"

Jackie glared at him. "So she's ditching me? For that skinny twig?" Her face burned, and she began pacing, her eyes just as heated as her cheeks. "Great! What am I supposed to do now?" She stopped her sob with a hand to her mouth. _I have to get to Chicago! I have to get out of here! Away from Steven. And Fez. But mostly Steven. Steven. I can't…god, he needs to just leave! _"Look, you better go." She whipped around and looked towards him, but not at him. She couldn't bear his eyes…those blue eyes that could whisk her to both heaven and hell. She cleared her throat. "Since Donna would rather be with that Star Wars freak than take _me_, her best friend, to Chicago like I very nicely asked her to, I'm gonna have to get a taxi." She winced at the thought, but what other choice did she have? A bus? That was even more disgusting than a taxi! A train? Equally as disgusting, and she didn't have the time!

Hyde watched her stomp off in the childish way she had that somehow still managed to be incredibly sexy. Probably because of how her hips swayed. Not to mention her tight backside. _Damn it, Hyde, not now! _He shook his head and followed her, putting his hand on her shoulder just as she reached the telephone. She jumped, and he pulled his hand back, grimacing. She'd never done that before, never acted as if his touch disgusted her. "I'll take you, Jackie."

Her spine stiffened into a two by four, and her fingers uncurled from the phone. It dropped the half inch back into its cradle. "You…you'll take me?" She turned around, and managed to look up at him. At those eyes.

_"Jackie. God….Jackie, you're so sexy." His eyes stared so hard she felt as if they'd entered her, working jointly with his slowly, teasingly roaming hands on her sides to demolish her. His breath was so hot on the side of her neck, his whisper so husky and urgent. His lips alternated between giving kisses just this side of rough and the softest she'd ever felt. And the mixture was delirium inducing. _

Now her spine quivered with fear. No. She couldn't be in a car with him for over two hours. It was a bad, bad idea. Look at what had happened when she spent a few hours with him at the Foto Hut. She looked away. Couldn't look at him anymore. She was so embarrassed. So uncertain. So damn scared. "I don't think that's a good idea, Steven."

She brushed past him back into the living room, and he sighed impatiently. Of course she wasn't going to make this easy. He followed her. "Jackie, what else are you gonna do? A bus? Please. And a taxi to Chicago would cost a fortune." He grinned slyly. "Besides, you know the driver is gonna be a dirty hippy who'll probably hit on you."

Her eyes closed. Why was he so hell bent on driving her to Chicago? And why was he acting so normal, like nothing had happened? Was he really able to forget it? And if he was, why couldn't she? Maybe if she tried, maybe if she really, really tried, she could pretend it hadn't happened, either. Besides, what other choice did she have? He was right about the taxi.

"Alright, look. You can listen to your stupid radio station on the way." He grinned, slightly sheepishly, when she looked at him, her eyes lighting up a sliver.

She raised an eyebrow. Huh. Maybe they could be friends. Maybe she hadn't ruined it. And even though she knew she had to get away from him, for both their sakes, lest her feelings for him once again nearly murder them both, maybe this was the first step for her to let go of him. A nice, friendly drive to Chicago. "And will you sing with me if 'Dancing Queen' comes on?"

She might as well ask, since he was in such a rare, giving mood.

Hyde glared at her. "Don't push it."

"Fine." A deep breath, gathering of her courage, and she nodded. "Okay, I'll let you drive me."

He couldn't help but smile at her as she flipped her hair over her shoulder and strode to the door. She looked over her shoulder and gave him a smirk, her eyes nodding towards the suitcases in front of the coffee table.

"Don't forget my suitcases, Steven."

He shook his head and watched her backside flicker out of the room. What on earth did he see in her? Besides, of course, her tight ass.

Everything.

_Everything. _

**Forty-five minutes later, Hyde's El Camino **

As soon as she'd gotten in the car, she'd known it was a mistake. She'd scooted all the way over on the seat to sit close to him, force of habit, she supposed. But when he slipped his hand onto her thigh, his own force of habit, she guessed, she'd remembered. They weren't together. Weren't ever going to be together again. And she'd pulled away from him, moving to sit nearly right against the door. He'd sighed, she'd stared out at the passing fields, tears that weren't quite ready to be shed blurring her vision at the edges.

They hardly spoke. Couldn't think of anything to say to one another. And that made her heart hurt. She used to know him so well. He used to know her so well. Now they couldn't even make decent conversation. They were like strangers. After all they'd been through…they were like strangers.

In the distance, Jackie noticed a bridge that crossed over a stream. Bridges. Burning bridges. She used to think that she and Steven had an endless amount of bridges between them, that if one didn't work, collapsed in the middle, another would easily suffice.

They'd burned all their bridges. They had no way left back to one another. She knew that, and felt it. She pressed her hand against the window and closed her eyes.

"So, how long are you gonna be in Hawaii?"

Her lids blinked furiously in order to dry her eyes. "I…well, I'm not sure. I was thinking a few weeks, but it's so cold here, I might just stay a few months." Why not? She had a free place to stay, at her mother's condo. Her mother offered it to her for as long as she liked; she wouldn't be there. She was heading for Mexico. The chance to be alone, to lay on the beach for hours upon hours…it sounded amazing to Jackie.

And maybe the salty ocean air and warm breezes, the sweet scents and gentle Polynesian music would help her get her head together.

"I can't wait. I just…I've got to get out of here."

"_Everybody needs a little time away, I heard her say. From each other. Even lovers need a holiday, far away from each other." _

Hyde rolled his eyes at the sappy song that had just come on the radio. Ironic. Chicago playing on a road trip to Chicago. His hand jerked on the wheel, but he forced himself to keep it there. Jackie loved Chicago. And he'd promised. "Yeah, I…I know. A couple months in Hawaii…" _Tell her, you moron! Tell her that you don't want her to leave. That you want her! _"Sure as hell beats a Point Place winter."

_IDIOT! _

_"Hold me now. It's hard for me to say I'm sorry. I just want you to stay." _

What would make her stay? What could possibly change her mind? Maybe if he talked. He never had before. Maybe if he talked to her, maybe just a little bit, maybe she'd do what she was so good at and pry at him. And maybe that would be enough. He prayed to God that it was enough.

He looked at her. She'd been facing out the window the whole trip, not looking at him at all, and it bugged the shit out of him. "So, uh, Jackie, I was thinking that maybe we should…talk. You know, about what…what happened."

Jackie tensed, and her fingertips attempted to dig through the cold glass. The last thing she wanted to do was talk about that. "No. We don't need to talk about it, Steven." Her face felt so hot. Guilt and embarrassment curled her toes. She wanted to forget what happened. And she wanted HIM to want to forget what happened.

"C'mon, Jackie. We can't just ignore it."

"Yes, we can!"

She finally looked at him, and he swallowed. The look in her eyes pictured tormented perfectly. He looked back at the road.

"I already told you that I was…am…confused, Steven. Just…don't…we don't have to talk about it. Please."

He nodded. Confused. Yeah. She'd told him that all right.

_He looked at her, her body curled up in a slight ball, her back to him. He lay on his side and reached for her waist. She was shaking, and he could hear gasps that seemed too big for her tiny body. "Jackie…" _

_She didn't pull away, but her body stiffened like a possum playing dead. "Steven, I just…I can't…we can't…I don't…I'm just so confused! Just…" _

_And then she pulled away. _

_"Just don't touch me. I can't do…I just…oh, god, I'm so confused!" _

Hyde blinked slowly, trying to regain his bearings, trying to feel normal, trying to find his Zen. It didn't work, and a small, sarcastic curve moved his lips upwards. "Well, this is different. I wanna talk and you don't."

Jackie nodded and smiled sadly. Why hadn't he wanted to talk last year? Why now, when it didn't matter anymore? Then again, Steven had never been the best with timing. "Yeah." She stared at him, his expression locked in Zen, but with just a tiny bit of sullenness. She doubted anyone but her would be able to see it. "Maybe…maybe when I get back, we can…talk about it."

By then she'd be more resolved. By then she'd have herself, her soul, her head together. By then she'd be strong enough to face him.

By then, maybe he wouldn't care anymore and wouldn't want to talk about it.

He shrugged. "Whatever."

So much for talking. So much for his one and only plan. How in the hell could he make her stay if she didn't want to talk?

_"Hold me now. I really want to tell you I'm sorry. I could never let you go." _

He drove on, staring at the endless rope of road in front of him, gripping the steering wheel tighter and tighter.

_God, how do I make her understand? I can't just tell her. She'll just get upset, or laugh, or not believe me. But I can't let her go. She can't get on that plane. She can't. I can't let her. I just…I don't know how. God, Jackie, why don't you KNOW? Why can't you read me? Why don't you KNOW this already the way you used to? _

_"After all that we've been through. I will make it up to you. I promise to." _

His right foot lowered inadvertently on the gas pedal, until he heard the gun of the engine and felt her eyes on him. Damn. Knowing that there was no way he could make anything up to her was getting to him.

There wasn't anything he could do. It was too late. She didn't know him anymore, or else she'd know what was behind his rare request to talk. And he didn't know her, either. Obviously. Otherwise, he'd know how to convince her to stay. He'd find a way to make up for everything. He used to be able to.

Looks like that bridge had been crossed and burned behind him.

_"And after all that's been said and done, you're just a part of me I can't let go." _

Jackie turned back to the window, and the tears became too much to hold in. One slowly moved down her cheek. Steven was always the one she'd run to, and she wanted nothing more than to run to him now. She wanted to cling to him, she yearned to fall just as hard as she had that summer. She wanted him to be the one part of her she could never let go. Memories ran rampant in her mind, so lifelike and vibrant they replaced the scenery her eyes grazed over.

But she had to. That part of her that loved him, a part that she'd just discovered was much bigger than she'd thought, she had to escape it. Let go of the hope and longing. Let go of him.

She started to cry softly.

How could she say goodbye?

**Two hours later, O'Hare Airport, Chicago, IL **

"I guess this is it."

Hyde nodded, the pit of his stomach now twisted. She was really leaving, and there wasn't anything he could do to stop her. "Yeah."

They stood in front of one another at her gate, looking everywhere but into one another's eyes.

"You, uh…you got enough money?"

She smiled. "Yeah. I'm good."

He nodded.

Another long moment of nothing.

"Jackie, I'm sorry." The words rushed out of his lips, as fast as his heart was now beating. "For everything, I mean." He looked at her and swallowed, but his throat was tight, and the swallow didn't help a thing.

She met his eyes, for once, unencumbered by his sunglasses, and her head moved up and down slightly. She knew what he meant. "Nothing to be sorry about, Steven," she whispered, her voice breaking. Her eyes filled with tears again. "I don't regret anything we shared. But..." Her shoulders shrugged, her chest aching with sadness. "I'm sorry, too."

_I'm sorry that I have to let go, Steven. I'm sorry that there's no way back to each other this time. Sorry that I have to stop loving you. _

He tried to smile. "Nothing to be sorry about."

_Except for the fact that I lost you. And except for the fact that I can't get you to stay. _

"Now boarding, rows 25 through 15. Rows 25 through 15, now boarding."

Jackie glanced towards the gate, then back to Steven. "Guess I'll see you when I get back."

He nodded. "Yeah."

One last look into his eyes, so blue, and so confusing…was he sad? He looked like it, but this was Steven. The epitome of a paradox.

She turned to go, but her wrist was caught by his hand, and his force turned her back around.

"I just…remember how you told me that you believed in me? That you still do?"

_One last try. Just remind her that there's more to her than what her mother says. Maybe she'll remember in Hawaii. She's forgotten…remind her, Hyde. _

Jackie nodded, transfixed by the intensity in Steven's face.

"I just…I want you to know that…" He hesitated. This wasn't his strong suit. At all. Of course, his strong suit hadn't exactly done the trick at the Foto Hut. Which left him no options except this.

Jackie frowned when he looked away and glanced over her shoulder at the gate. "Steven, if you need to say something, then…"

"There's more to you than what your mother is, Jackie. I've always thought so and…" He stepped closer to her. "I still do."

Jackie smiled, and once again, her eyes filled. It was one of the nicest things, sweetest things he'd ever said to her, and despite the warning alarm in her gut, she savored it. "Steven," she whispered, giving into the softness inside and stepping to him. She reached up and put a hand on his cheek. "Thank you."

_Don't do it, Jackie! _

But she did. She stood on her toes and pressed her lips to his cheek.

His eyes closed.

_Do it, Hyde. Maybe this time…maybe she'll realize…maybe she'll feel it again…_

And he did. He turned his head and slipped his lips to hers. His hands rose to catch her cheeks, to hold her into the kiss. She responded, her mouth giving into him, and he pressed harder. Deeper. Her tongue flickered against his, and his entire body became electrified with sweet desperation.

_Please, doll, please… _

The warmth of his tongue retreated too soon, and despite her clinging efforts, his mouth retreated, though only barely off of hers. His breath was fire on her, and she shivered. Her eyes slid open little by little, feeling so heavy, her entire body the same with the joy and pain of his kiss. She held on to his waist, since her knees were now completely worthless.

He'd never kissed her that way, that slowly and sweetly. Like he was trying to tell her something. To convince her of something.

She stared up at him, his blue eyes barely visible through the sink of his eyelids. "Steven?"

"Don't go." He panted it more than spoke it. "Don't go, Jackie."

There.

He'd told her.

And now…now it was up to her.

One last bridge.

His forehead dropped to hers, and she gasped. Tears immediately began to fall.

One last bridge.

Her heart begged her.

_He's always been there for you, Jackie, and maybe…maybe this time would be different…maybe…maybe he really DOES love you, after everything…otherwise, why would he be kissing you? Why would he have just said that? _

Her head bereted her.

_No! NO! How could he love you? He left you! He left you and married a slutty whore! He CHOSE that slutty whore over you! He made your life miserable after he chose that slutty whore! He doesn't love you! _

Her heart chimed in again, but only to mention one thing.

_He should have said this last year. _

She pulled away, and breathed in shallow and unrelieving puffs. No. He didn't love her. There was no way. He was just saying this now because…because of what happened at the Foto Hut. Because he thought maybe now that she was vulnerable, and he was lonely, maybe he could make her his little plaything.

Why didn't he say this last year? When she believed he loved her?

She tried to smile, but the tears were coming too fast, too hard. A trembling hand reached up, one last time, to touch his cheek. Scruffy. Sexy. So Steven.

_Goodbye, Puddin' Pop. _

Her voice was hushed and tortured. It burned her throat.

"Why couldn't you have said that last year?"

He stared at her, her thumb brushed across his lips, her hand slid down her chest. He watched her, paralyzed as she backed away from him.

His mouth opened, to call to her, but nothing came out. She turned and walked to the gate, handed the airline worker her ticket, headed into the gate.

Never looked back.

His eyes closed.

_She's gone. She left me. She didn't even…god, how did she not understand? Why didn't she…why didn't she stay? I told her not to go! She HAD to know why! She had to know! WHY DIDN"T SHE STAY? __Yeah, I should have told her last year, but I just told her NOW! _

_Jackie, I told you NOW! Why doesn't that matter to you? Why isn't that enough? _

His eyes opened again.

And anger eroded the stinging inside. He grimaced and turned away, walking faster and faster away from the damn gate and that chick he'd been crazy enough to want.

Fine. They were done. Forever done. Good. It was better this way anyway. He didn't love people. He didn't. Ever.

She'd just burned her last bridge with him. Their last bridge.

And it was for the best.

He was done with her.

**Five minutes later, the plane **

Jackie sat in her seat, fortunately a window seat, and stared outside at the airport terminal. She did her best to keep her sobs in, but knew she was failing.

It was over, just as she knew it had to be. Just as it was best it be.

_"Don't go. Don't go, Jackie." _

She squeezed her eyes closed. More tears fell faster and faster. She didn't want to hear his voice, yet she did. Over and over again.

It hurt so much.

She could never go to him again, never love him again, never expect him to love her again.

It was over.

She'd burned her last bridge with him. To him.

She lifted her hand to the window and wrote shakily on it.

S-T-E-V-E-N.

And then again.

P-U-D-D-I-N' P-O-P.

Again.

I-L-O-V-E-Y-0-U.

Her palm flattened on the window, and she broke down. Her head dropped to her hand, and she cried.

_Goodbye, Steven. _


	14. Out of Sight, Out of Mind

**Disclaimer: **I don't own.

**Author's note: **Kind of a transitory chapter. And I'll just say this...trust me, okay:) Thanks so much for reading and even more so for reviewing. :)

**Warning: **Language.

**Song credit: **_Save Me_, written by Brian May, performed by Queen

Clichés and Things "They" Say

Chapter 14 - Out of Sight, Out of Mind

**February 1, 2006, 3 pm, the Forman driveway **

_The slate will soon be clear. _

_I'll erase the memories. _

_To start again with somebody new_

_Was it all wasted _

_All that love? _

Hyde pulled into his normal parking spot near the Forman's house and rolled his eyes. When had Freddie Mercury turned into such a wuss? He shifted the Camino into park, but for some reason, couldn't bring himself to shut the car off, to shut up Freddie's whining about some lost love. He certainly wasn't going to whine about Jackie. She was gone. Out of his sight. Out of his mind. He'd forget all about her in a few days.

He'd make sure of it, no matter what he had to do.

_I hang my head and I advertise _

_A soul for sale or rent _

_I have no heart_

_I'm cold inside _

_I have no real intent. _

_Save me, save me, save me_

_I can't face this life alone. _

_Save me, save me… _

He turned the ignition off, shaking his head as he got out of the car. What a lame song. And it didn't at all apply to him. Nope. He didn't need saving. And he HAD real intent, intent to get drunk and high as often as possible. Intent to have hot, string-free sex with as many women as possible. Yeah. Back to the good life. No more of the "grown up" crap he'd been thinking about lately.

He headed towards the house, and inwardly groaned. The whole gang…_except Jackie_…was gathered at the Vista Cruiser. Just when he was about to turn around, sneak in the other side of the house, Fez saw him.

"Hyde, you son of a bitch! What have you done with Jackie?"

Hyde rolled his eyes. _Play it cool, man. _He purposefully strolled casually towards the group. "Nothing, man." He arched an eyebrow at the obviously angry Fez, who'd met him halfway and was now standing just a bit too close. "Hey, back off, moron." He pushed Fez away, and gave him a look that promised more to come if he kept that shit up.

Fez backed up and swallowed slightly, but didn't completely wimp out. He pointed at Hyde. "Liar. You took Jackie to Chicago."

Hyde shrugged and moved around Fez. "So what? She needed a ride. No one else was around, I took her. End of story."

_Liar. _

Fez grabbed his arm, preventing his escape, and he whirled around. "What the hell, Fez?"

The deep scowl on Hyde's face made Fez shake in his boots, but he took a deep breath, found his courage. Surely Hyde wouldn't kill him right here, in front of three other people. "I want you to stop interfering in my relationship with Jackie." Another breath. _Come on, Fez! _"No more talking to her behind my back. Or…" He pointed to his still bruised eye. "Or punching me. Or anything. Leave her alone."

Hyde stared at Fez and crossed his arms across his chest. He probably should feel guilty, considering. And maybe he would, once his…obsession, or whatever this was, with Jackie faded. Which it would. As soon as he made it. And he was going to make it fade, make it die as soon as possible. "No problem." He smirked, though inside, the desire to knock that smug, possessive look on Fez's face to Pluto rode him hard. "Tell you what. When she comes back, you can deal with her. You can do whatever the hell you want to her. I really don't give a damn."

_LIAR! _

_Well, I won't. After a few hundred beers. Drink her off my mind. Yep. That's the plan. _

Fez relaxed, his shoulders lowering, and smiled. "Thank god! I was going to have to show you my dark side, and you do not want to see that."

Hyde rolled his eyes. Fez's dark side was about as dark as the midday sunshine.

Donna stood up, nearly jumping off the hood of the Cruiser and glared at Hyde. "Hyde, what the hell?"

He glanced at her briefly and shrugged. "I'm done with her shit. She's a big girl, Donna, and she can take care of herself." He looked at Fez again, still disgusted with his buddy. His buddy? Was Fez his buddy? "You know, buddy, maybe I was trying to interfere with you and Jackie. Cause it was just like Jackie and…" He pointed at Kelso. "That moron all over again. I thought she deserved better." A bitter, tiny smile. "I was wrong. She does deserve you. She deserves everything you're gonna end up giving her."

Donna's eyes widened. "Hyde!" What in the hell had happened on the trip to Chicago?

Fez smiled gratefully at his friend. "Thank you, Hyde. I will do my best not to let you down."

Hyde shook his head. Moron. Hadn't even realized what he'd meant. He had to get out of here before his head exploded. There was a stash downstairs and a six-pack that he'd been thinking about ever since he'd left Chicago waiting for him. Practically calling his name. He brushed past Fez and Kelso and headed for the house.

_Damn it all. Damn her, damn them…damn it ALL! _

Donna angrily watched him go. "I'm not done with you yet, Hyde!" She shook her head and looked at Eric, who looked baffled as well.

"I'm gonna get my angel back now that Hyde's done getting in my way!"

Donna glared at the singsongy Fez and pointed at him. "I wouldn't get so cocky, Fez. I'm still gonna do everything I can to keep her sane and away from you." She grabbed Eric's arm. "Come on, Eric."

**5 pm, Los Angeles International Airport **

Jackie's layover had not gotten off to a good start. She'd gotten off the plane and had wandered a little bit, looking for something to do. Three hours in an airport was a long, boring time. Unfortunately, an ugly, hairy, drunk hippy had followed her into the ladies room, cornered her, and breathed all over her. If it hadn't been for a lady she'd sat next to on the plane, who knows what might have happened.

"Are you going to be okay?"

Jackie sat on the chair the lady had led her to after fending off the gross drunk man for her. She was shaking, and breathing hard, but calming down. The fright was disappearing. She lifted a weak smile to the middle aged woman. "Yeah, uh, I…I think so. Thanks."

"That man is the reason there shouldn't be bars in airports." The woman shook her head in disgust. "Well, if you're sure you're going to be okay, I better get back to my husband and kids. Lord knows what they might try to get him to buy for them. He's such a softie."

Jackie nodded, but just as the lady turned to leave, she stood up and gingerly touched her back. "Wait…I…I was just wondering." She blinked repeatedly, guiltily as the woman turned back to her. "Why did you help me? I mean, I was…well, I was such a…bitch to you on the plane."

_Jackie sighed impatiently and lifted her head from the window. She turned a nasty glare to the child sitting beside her, then past the child to the obviously flustered mother. "Can you please do something to make her shut up? I've had a horrible day and I'm TRYING to sleep." _

And that hadn't been the only rude thing she'd said to the mother. Or the child, for that matter.

The woman smiled. "I always try to be kind to people who look like they need it. And even to those who don't look like they need it. It makes them feel better, and it makes me feel good, too. Plus, I want my children to grow up to be loving people. They watch everything their father and I do, so I have to provide a good example for them."

Jackie looked away. Being nice to people was a slightly foreign concept to her. She never went out of her way to do it; when she did happen to be nice, it was usually by accident.

"Now, are you sure you're going to be okay? Because I can sit with you for a little while if you'd like."

Jackie turned back with a forced smile. "No, no, that's okay. I'm just gonna…read or something. I'll be fine."

The woman nodded with a sweet smile, and patted Jackie's shoulder. "Remember what the security guard said. If you see that man again, just get to a red phone."

Jackie nodded. "Thank you. For…helping me." She watched the lady walk away, towards a tall, handsome man and two kids. The kids lifted their arms for her, excited to see her, and Jackie smiled sadly. She wondered if she'd ever done that for her mom.

She stood up and looked around. If she sat too long, she'd start thinking. About Steven. And the very last thing she wanted to be doing right now was thinking about Steven. She noticed a bar, and sighed. She'd take a page out of his book and have a few drinks. Oh, she wouldn't get drunk, just get enough of a buzz that the lingering thoughts and memories of that last kiss, his last words to her would fade.

When she reached the bar, the tender, a blond woman, was facing away from her, adjusting bottles. She cleared her throat. "Excuse me. Can I get an amaretto sour, please?"

The barkeep turned around, and Jackie gasped. "Sam!"

Steven's wife. Or ex-wife. Whatever. It was the woman Steven had married instead of her. The slutty whore who'd taken him away from her.

"Jackie, what are you doing here?" Sam sounded obviously surprised to see her.

Jackie's eyes closed. So many things were rushing back. The moment the Forman door had opened to reveal her. The moment Sam informed them so cheerfully that she was married to Hyde. The moment Steven had chosen Sam over her. The moment she'd walked into the basement, only to find Steven on his chair, Sam in his lap, Steven kissing Sam. Just like he used to hold _her_ on his lap, kiss _her_ while sitting on his chair.

Her heart plummeted to her feet. He'd broken the kiss, and smirked at her so evilly. His eyes, uncovered by his glasses, had said it all to her. _See? I'm married to someone. Someone not you. I'd never marry you, but I married her, and I'm gonna stay married to her. Sure, I could send her packing and get back together with you…but I don't want to. I don't love you. Never did. You were an idiot to think otherwise. _

So much for out of sight, out of mind.

Her eyes flickered open, blinking rapidly to destroy the tears. "Uh…Sam. I…I have a layover." _Pull yourself together, Jackie, god! _She glared at the blonde whore. "Wait, what are YOU doing here? Shouldn't you be taking your clothes off for strangers in Vegas?"

To Jackie's surprise, Sam's smile was haunted, sad. "I uh…had a bit of an accident. Had to get away from Vegas." She shook her head, as if shaking away bad memories. "So, how's Hyde?"

Jackie frowned. She noticed the hope in Sam's eyes. And she didn't like it. "How's your _husband_?"

Again, a flash of pain crossed Sam's face. "Oh, we split up." Her voice was tense and obviously lined with fake cheerfulness. "In fact, I was thinking about heading back to Point Place to see if Hyde and I could patch things up."

Jackie's spine stiffened. She took a sip of her drink and forced herself to stay calm, even though all she wanted to do was leap over the bar and beat the crap out of her, like she had done to Laurie Forman so many years ago. "Well, for your information," she said coldly. "_Steven_ is fine. In fact, he has never been better than he has since you left him. So I wouldn't even bother going back. He's not gonna want you. He's completely over you."

Sam shrugged. "Oh, well, it was just a thought."

For a moment, half a second, a millisecond, the sadness in Sam's voice made Jackie feel guilty. She was lying. Or at least presenting as the truth something she didn't quite know was the truth. Sure, he'd been sweet to her, he'd kissed her, he'd…they'd had that moment at the Foto Hut…he'd told her not to leave…

But what if it had all be just because he was lonely? What if all that time he'd been wishing she was Sam? After all, he'd been hurt when Sam left him. Jackie knew that he'd, for whatever reason, come to care about Sam, and she'd left him.

What if he really wasn't over Sam?

Maybe he was just trying to lick his wounds. Maybe getting to HER was some sort of way for him to rebuild the ego that had taken a hit when Sam had chosen someone else over him.

It hurt so damn much that she knew it was probably the truth.

Jackie finished her drink and stood up. She pulled money out of her purse, her hands shaking, and pushed it across the bar to Sam. "Here. Thanks for the drink. I have to go. My…my plane is gonna leave soon."

She turned and left as quickly as she could.

Damn it. God, this trip to Hawaii better be good. She better find SOMETHING to get her mind off Steven. Because now she knew that nothing that had happened between them had meant to him what it had meant to her.

_"God, Jackie," he breathed, every inch of his body pressed against hers and burning her to her core with desire. He nibbled her neck lightly, following up with sweet kisses that inflamed the tingling sensations inside of her to an unbearable level. "I want you so much." _

But she'd just been a replacement. A stand in for the woman he really wanted but couldn't have.

Kind of like Fez was to her. She couldn't have Steven, and Fez had wanted her, so…she'd conveniently found reasons to believe that he was the man of her dreams.

She stopped walking in the middle of the terminal, and covered her chest, startled by her thoughts.

Her eyes closed.

_God, what am I gonna do? _

Another part of her stepped in.

_You're gonna snap yourself out of this, go to Hawaii, have a hell of a good time, get one hell of a tan, and you're gonna get over Steven. Finally get over him. Forever get over him. You're gonna steel yourself. You're gonna become more like Mom. She never gets hurt. She only gets rich. And you can do that, too. _

She opened her eyes and straightened her shoulders, sighing deeply. She could do this. Of course she could. She was strong. Feisty. And she always got what she wanted.

_Almost always, at least. _

Hawaii would be good. No one there she knew, most importantly, Steven. Seeing Sam had thrown her for a loop, but she'd get over it. And she'd soak up the sun, drink lots of fruity cocktails with umbrellas in them, swim in tropical waters…

Before she knew it, he'd be out of her mind.


	15. Forgive and Forget

**Disclaimer: **I don't own.

**Author's Note:** Thanks so much to those who are still reading and reviewing. I really appreciate it, since I get the feeling this story has been falling flat the past couple chapters. I hope you'll keep hanging in!

Oh, and in the last chapter, I put the wrong date. It should have been February 2, not the 1st.

**Warning: **Language

Clichés and Things "They" Say

Chapter 15 - Forgive and Forget

**February 3, 1980, 2 pm, Hyde's room **

Hyde tossed the now empty beer can across his small room, and grinned as it hit the middle of the pile of cans he'd worked on since last night. Yeah, it had been a good night. He'd consumed an insane amount of beer, an insane amount of his stash, and he was feeling good. No longer drunk, hell, he'd slept off a bit of the high, but buzzed enough that he didn't feel anything. Best of all, everyone had left him alone. Alone. Alone with beer and his stash. He liked his life that way.

"Hyde? May I come in?"

Hyde rolled his eyes and sat up. Fez. What in the hell did he want? "Why?"

A pause. "I need to talk to you."

Hyde shook his head. The last thing he wanted to do was talk to Fez. Sure, he was gonna get past Jackie, forget she even existed, forget the complete fool of himself that he'd made over her at the airport. And yet, the idea of spending time with Fez, staying friends with him…it didn't sit well in his stomach. There was something so wrong with it. Then again, Fez was his buddy. Had been for a long time. And hell, maybe it would be easier to forgive and forget, or at least forget, if he hung out with Fez again. As long as Fez didn't go on and on about a certain dark haired, tiny chick. "Come in."

The door opened, and Fez walked in. "Hello, Hyde."

Hyde lay back on his cot and stared at the ceiling. "What do you want? Because I was in the middle of something."

Fez sat down on the chair across from Hyde's cot. "I uh…I wanted to call a spruce."

Hyde rolled his head towards Fez and gave him a weird look. "A spruce? Do you mean a truce?"

"Yes, yes, truce, that is what I said. And I'm…" Fez pulled out a white hankerchief from his pocket. "I'm waving the white hankie."

Hyde grinned. "You mean the white flag?"

Fez again nodded eagerly. "Yes, yes, that's what I said! So…" His eyes turned hopeful. "Can we just forget everything and go back to normal? Buddies again? I'll even forget that you punched me."

Hyde closed his eyes for a moment. That punch wasn't something he regretted. With his own sigh, he sat up and pointed at Fez. "Okay, but here's the condition. I don't want to hear anything about Jackie. No whining, no moping, no plans to get her back…nothing."

Fez pouted. "But I need your advice, Hyde, because I've decided that Kelso is…a moron." He huffed. "Jackie is in Hawaii. Do you think I should go and find her?"

Hyde stood up, suddenly angry. The thought of Fez going to Hawaii infuriated him. Probably because he'd been so tempted to follow Jackie onto her plane. And had chickened out. It was the kind of gesture Jackie would love, and as always, he couldn't do it. If Fez did it…it was probably guaranteed that she'd take him back. The thought made him feel sick to his stomach.

_Damn it, no! I don't care! I do NOT CARE if she takes the cheating bastard back! _

"Fez, I really don't care if you go to Hawaii or not, as long as you leave me the hell out of it, okay?"

Fez glared at him. "Fine. I will not seek your advice on how to get Jackie back." He paused. "I will have to go back to Kelso."

Hyde arched an eyebrow. "I thought you just said that Kelso was a moron."

Fez rolled his eyes. "Yes, I did. But Kelso is a moron who has also gotten Jackie back a trillion times!"

Hyde shook his head and turned away. So what if the last piece of advice Kelso had given Fez on how to get Jackie back hadn't exactly gone well. He closed his eyes. He supposed he should feel guilty about what happened after that basement debacle. After all, Fez was his buddy. But there was no guilt.

_Because she's mine. Not his. She doesn't belong to him. She belongs to me. _

He winced and shook his head. God damn it, NO!

"Hey guys."

Hyde turned and watched as his most moronic friend sucked on a popsicle, leaning casually on the doorframe. He glowered at him, then at Fez. "Okay, Doofus and Dillhole, I'm not in the mood for company. So if you'll both do me a favor and get the hell out…"

Kelso held up a hand. "Hey, man, I just thought you guys would like to know about a party." He smirked and nodded. "Yep. Another party at the Fellanio's house. Casey told me about it. You know, it pays to have a bartender for a brother. He knows where all the raging keggers are gonna be."

Fez stood up, clapping his hands. "Oh yes! A party! That is exactly what I need."

Hyde frowned as Fez began to look rather faraway

"Music, beer, and drunken whores. If we stop on the way to pick up some candy, this night will be the best of my life!"

"I thought you wanted to get Jackie back." Hyde hadn't meant to say it, let alone sound as harsh and as angry as he did, and he now was furious at himself. God, what the hell was his problem? This was his buddy. Jackie was an ex-girlfriend. One whom he was going to start hating here real soon. He should be on Fez's side.

"Do you see Jackie here, Hyde? I cannot get her back if she is not here, so until she is here, I'm going to party!" Fez looked at Kelso nervously. "Is that a good plan, Kelso?"

Kelso grinned goofily and pounded Fez on the back. "Oh, it's an _awesome_ plan, my man."

Hyde shook his head. "Whatever, man."

"So you coming with us, Hyde?"

Hyde shrugged. "Yeah, I guess. Nothing better to do."

The truth was, a party sounded like exactly what he needed. Get drunk, high, and maybe find a chick to get his mind of anything and everything.

Forgive and forget, they said. Forgiveness could go to hell, but he was sure as hell gonna do his best to forget.

**9 am, Honolulu, Hawaii **

Jackie stood on the balcony of her mother's condominium. It was right on the beach, and the sight she gazed at made her smile. The cerulean blue water, topped by foamy caps, rose up and down the beach, in a rhythm that she quickly found herself tapping her foot to. A warm breeze hugged her, and the scent of tropical flowers filled her nose with sweetness. Not many people were filling the beach yet, only a few random surfers, and the serenity brought peace to her. She sipped her coffee.

_This is exactly what I need. Quiet. Some time alone. _

"Jackie? Jackie, honey, where are you?"

Jackie's body jerked around, towards the open balcony door, and the coffee cup slipped and crashed to the concrete. She didn't notice. "Mom?" she whispered.

Before she could react further, before she could move, her mother appeared at the door. "Oh, sweetheart, there you are."

Jackie stared at her mother, unable to do anything, say anything. Her mother approached her, and she couldn't move away, though she should, when two familiar, feminine, soft hands settled on her shoulders.

"I'm so glad to see you."

"Wh…" Jackie cleared her throat and blinked slowly. Was she still asleep and dreaming? "What are you doing here? How…how did you know I was here?"

Pam smiled and fussed with her daughter's hair. "I talked to Bobby, and he told me that you'd left." Her smile faded. "Sweetheart, I came here because I feel so bad about what happened. I want to make things right between us."

Jackie closed her eyes. She should resist this show of maternal affection. Because chances are, it wasn't real. Wouldn't last longer than thirty minutes, if that. Then again, this was what she wanted. What she'd longed for for years. And what if this was finally _the_ time? _The_ chance? What if this time, it was finally different? She couldn't risk throwing it away. She had to find a way to forgive, find a way to forget. Again. But maybe this time, her mom would make it easier for her. And she'd come here for her! Her mom had come to Hawaii for _her! _

Her eyes opened, and she managed a small smile. "I want that too, Mom."

"Oh, Jackie, I'm so glad. How long are you going to be here? A few weeks? However long, I'm going to stay that long, too. I want us to spend time together. It'll be a tropical vacation for just you and I, like I promised you we'd take someday on your seventh birthday. "

Tears filled Jackie's eyes. _She remembers? _"Mom…" Her throat was so thick, she had to swallow repeatedly. "I would really…" A hiccup. "I would really like that."

When Pam smiled, she became the beautiful, magical princess Jackie had thought her as a child. Jackie released a tiny, quiet squeal and threw herself into her mother's arms. And to her delight, her mother held her close, stroking her hair, whispering to her how glad she was to see her.

"Okay, come on, sweetheart. Go get dressed." Pam gently pushed her daughter away and beamed at her. "Lets start out this tropical vacation with some shopping."

Jackie couldn't help herself, and clapped her hands. "Yay! Okay, I'll be right back. Don't go anywhere."

As she got herself dressed and made up, in record time for her, her emotions ran wild. There was still so much anger. And hurt. Betrayal.

But there was also love, and hope. A nervous energy in her stomach, a longing that had been with her for as long as she could remember. And a suspicion that it might just finally be fulfilled.

Jackie stared in the mirror and brushed her hair, counting to make sure she gave it exactly one hundred strokes like Marcia Brady.

Maybe it was finally time to forgive.

She smiled.

And maybe getting her mother back would make it easier for her to forget Steven.

Her smile faded.

_I don't want to forget Steven. _

She shook her head and forced the smile back. Yes, she did. Or she would. Eventually.

**February 3, 9 pm, the Fellanio's house, Point Place **

Hyde took a long swig of his beer and grinned at the girl standing in front of him, giving him flirtatious eyes and what had to be what she thought was her sexiest smile. She was cute. Tall, thin, a bit of a chest. Light brown hair, brown eyes. Nice lips, pretty face. Nothing spectacular, but she'd do. She was interested. And tonight, that was probably the most important factor. "So," he said. "Your name is Lynnie?"

She giggled. "Well, actually, my real name is Jacquelyn. People always ask me why I don't go by Jackie. I don't know. It just sounds like a cheerleader's name. And I am NOT a cheerleader." When he didn't say anything, she took a step closer and put her hand on his chest. "But you can call me Jackie if you want to. I'll answer to it." Her eyes narrowed sexily. "I promise."

He forced a smile. "No. No. Lynnie is fine. Yeah. Kind of cool."

Was that obnoxiously loud alarm sound coming from the music blaring through the house, or was it only in his head? And why wasn't her fingers on his chest exciting him more?

_Damn it, Jackie, get out of me! _

"So, do you want to dance?"

He knew the drill. Play it cool, and within a few seconds he'd have her hanging all over him. He looked away and took a disinterested drag from his cigarette. "I don't dance."

Her hand slipped lower on his chest, to his stomach, and she moved closer. He could smell her perfume. Huh. Completely not Jackie's taste. This one was musky. Jackie preferred floral ands sweet. Truth be told, so did he.

"But Hyde, don't you know what they say about dancing? That it's good…" Her voice turned to a low purr, and that hand slid to his belt buckle. "Foreplay." She placed a bold kiss on his cheek, just above his ear.

He smiled and turned to look at her through his sunglasses. All he was after was a good lay. She'd do. "How about we just skip the foreplay?" An eyebrow arch, a sexy smirk, a quick appraisal of her body with his eyes; she'd be spreading out for him in half a second.

Her smile widened and she pressed her body fully into his. "Oh, I think I like that idea even better."

Yep. He still had it.

**Forty five minutes later **

Hyde glared at the ceiling of the strange room he was in. The girl he knew nothing about except that her name was Jacquelyn, she went by Lynnie, and she sucked in bed was plastered all over him. Cuddling. God damn. Why did chicks insist on cuddling after sex?

"God, Hyde, that was so hot."

He rolled his head to the side, then rolled his eyes. "Yep, sure was." Hot? Ha.

_Not even lukewarm, Lynnie. _

"I love how you kept saying my name over and over again. And you know what? Maybe Jackie isn't such a bad name after all."

Hyde closed his eyes. Damn it. She'd heard him. And she'd thought he'd been talking about her.

_Well, I guess I should be glad about that. _

His eyes popped open when another Jackie's face filled his head, just as it had while he'd been doing it with this skank.

"Not even my boyfriend says my name during sex. Of course, he's kind of old. That's why he's not here tonight. It's past his bedtime!"

He clenched his hand in a tight fist. For the love of God, would this chick ever shut the hell up? Hell, even Jackie didn't talk this damn much.

Jackie. What he wouldn't give to be with her right now. For some reason, she always handled the afterwards of sex so well. Yeah, she cuddled, but it was different. Less annoying. Sexy. Sweet.

_Damn it, no! I don't want Jackie! _

"Hey, why don't we get out of here? Go back to my apartment?"

He sighed, then turned his head back to her. She'd lifted her body up and was leaning over him, giving him a rather dopey smile. "What's there that isn't here?"

"Well, I guess nothing much." Now her smile was saucy, and she winked. "Except…my roommate Mary."

He stared at her, and her arched eyebrow told him all he needed to know about her roommate Mary. A nasty grin crossed his face. "What are we waiting for?"

It was every guy's fantasy. Who was _he_ to turn the opportunity down? Besides, maybe two girls would be enough to make him forget how hot Jackie was in bed. Make him forget her altogether, for that matter.

At least for a few minutes.

**Honolulu, Hawaii, 7 pm **

The first Hawaiian sunset Jackie saw was everything she'd imagined it would be; the air warmed by a light, tropical breeze, scented by sweet fruit and flowers, the sky colored with crayon streaks of red, pink, purple, blue, orange, yellow. She sat at a small table on the porch of a restaurant, with her mother, sipping fruity drinks and listening to the swelling music of the ukulele. A few fellow diners swayed in couples in the middle of the stone floor, and Jackie smiled at them. Surprisingly, it didn't hurt. Must be the atmosphere. Or the alcohol.

"Isn't this wonderful, sweetheart?"

Jackie smiled at her mom. "It really is, even more so than I imagined it would be."

Pam's beam outshone the sun. "And that dress we bought looks incredible on you, Jackie. You look amazing in that shade of blue."

Jackie glanced down at the silk, flowing dress with spaghetti straps. "I feel beautiful in it."

Pam's smile, like the sun at dusk, slowly faded. "You are beautiful, Jacqueline."

Jackie's eyes jerked to her mother. She sounded…sad. Regretful. And the look on her face…it made Jackie's eyes instantly pool with tears. "Mom…"

"Sweetheart, I'm so sorry," Pam interjected, reaching across the table and taking her daughter's hands. "I'm so sorry for coming between you and Fez. I forgot how young you are, and how inexperienced you are with men. I forgot that I've been so busy these past few years that I haven't been able to properly help you learn how to deal with men." She shook her head. "I'm so sorry that I hurt you."

Jackie wasn't sure her mom was sincere. She'd apologized a million times before. But maybe…she'd come all this way just to be with HER, not some man. She was in Hawaii to be her mother again, not to pick up her next sugar daddy. That had to count for something. It had to. "It's okay, Mom," she said, her voice shaking a little bit. "I…well, Fez and I probably weren't going to work out anyway."

_Because I'm still not over Steven. And I know that now. God, NO! Don't think of Steven! Think about what Mom is saying! God, Jackie! _

"And…I wanted to ask you. Could you…I mean, while we're here, do you think you could, well…teach me how you handle men?"

It was almost the same as when she'd asked her mom to teach her how to French braid her hair. Except then, her heart was entirely in it.

_Steven's gonna hate you, you know that, right? _

_NO! I don't give a crap what Steven thinks! _

Pam let go of Jackie's hands, then clapped her own together. "Oh, Jackie, I've been hoping for you to ask me that!" She leaned forward across the table to reclaim Jackie's hands. She squeezed. "Baby, we're going to have such a good time. I've got so much to teach you! And you're so beautiful, so smart, you're going to pick it up with no problem." She let go of her daughter's hands and again clapped. "Oh, yay!"

Jackie giggled. Her mom acted so much like she did.

_But Steven said…there's more to me than what Mom is. He believes that. Even after everything. _

She swallowed hard and closed her eyes.

_No! God, Jackie, get it through your head! It doesn't matter what Steven thinks! Not anymore! You've got to forget him! _

Someone tapped her on the shoulder, and she opened her eyes as she turned to look up. A handsome, obviously Hawaiian native guy about her age, maybe a little bit older, stood there, smiling down at her. She couldn't help but smile in return.

"Would you care to dance?"

Jackie looked quickly at her mother, and when her mother nodded emphatically, she turned back. "I would love to." The guy held his hand out for her, and her heart skipped a beat. Such a gentleman.

And if she kept getting noticed by gorgeous Hawaiian guys who also happened to be gentlemen, maybe forgetting Steven would be much easier than she thought.

Pam watched with a slight smile as her daughter was escorted to the dance floor. It didn't appear that the young man met her criteria for Jackie, but what the hell. It was one night. Let her have a little fun. She glanced to her right, and her eye caught sight of a very good looking, distinguished looking, _rich_ looking, man. He was watching her, of course, she was the best looking woman in the room. And so, with a slight smile, she picked up her drink and took demurely sipped from it. She gave a languid blink of her eyes, noticed that his smile was growing, then turned away.

If she had any luck, she'd have him hooked by the end of dinner, and then her vacation would truly begin.


	16. Chip Off the Old Block

**Disclaimer:** Don't own.

**Author's Note: **Thanks for reading, and a special thanks for the reviews.

**Warning: **Language

Clichés and Things "They" Say

Chapter 16 – Chip Off the Old Block

**February 17, 1980, Point Place, Wisconsin, 12:30 am **

Michael Kelso grimaced and glared to his right. "God, Fez, could you help me out here?"

Fez returned the nasty look and shifted his shoulder. "I am doing my best. Is it my fault Hyde is so muscular?"

The two boys slowly made their way down the outside stairs to the Forman basement, struggling to carry a passed out Hyde between them. When they reached the bottom, unable to reach the doorknob, Kelso instead kicked the door. "Open up!" he yelled. "I know you guys are in there! We can see you making out on the couch!"

Fez grinned. "Ooo, sexy!"

The door opened, and a flustered looking Eric greeted them rudely. "Don't you guys have, oh, say, a _home of your own _to go to?"

Donna, standing behind him, chuckled. "You know, Eric, there are times when you sound just like Red."

Eric whipped around and glared at her, now completely oblivious to his friends moving past him. "Okay, if that's true, Donna, then kill me now."

"She's right, Eric." Kelso and Fez dropped Hyde to the couch, and he landed without waking, his head immediately flopping back to the pillow. Kelso nodded and looked at Eric. "You're a regular chip off the old block, my friend."

Donna ignored Eric's look of exasperation and walked over to the couch, looking down at Hyde's motionless body. "What the hell is wrong with Hyde?"

Eric nodded. "Yeah. He looks even less alive than usual." He frowned, and suddenly felt guilty for his sarcasm. Hyde did not look good at all. Pale, but greenish, too, sweaty…sick. "Guys, he really looks bad."

Kelso and Fez rolled their eyes at one another, and Kelso casually sat down on the lawn chair. Fez made his way to Hyde's normal chair. "He's just drunk off his ass," Kelso said. "We were at a party at the Browly's, and he'd just finished up about half a keg. All on his own." Kelso's eyes lit up. "The cops showed up, and we were just about to punch in a window on the patrol car when Hyde…" He glared at his sleeping friend. "_Hyde_ decided to pass out on the lawn."

Eric stared at Kelso. "But Kelso, _you_ are a cop. Wouldn't you, I don't know, get in trouble for destroying police property or something?"

"I was _off_ _duty_, Eric," Kelso said snidely, looking fed up with Eric's stupidity. "When I'm off duty, patrol cars are fair game!"

Fez stood up. "Well, I am sorry to dump Hyde's drunken body on you and leave, but Kelso and I have somewhere we need to be."

Kelso grinned and leapt to his feet. "That's right. We've got hot chicks waiting for us in the car. Come on, Fez."

Donna grabbed Fez's arm as started towards the door. When he looked at her, the annoyance on his face angered her, and she glared at him. "Wait a second, Fez. What about Jackie? I thought you were going to try to get her back."

Fez smiled weakly. "Oh, Jackie and I have an understanding."

She rolled her eyes, crossing her arms. "Like the understanding you had with her about hiding in my closet?"

He nodded enthusiastically. "Yes, yes, exactly. Now good day, Donna."

Eric sighed. The fire in his girlfriend's eyes spelled trouble. In capital letters. "But Fez…"

"I said good day!"

Donna tried to breathe as the two idiots hurried out of the basement, but couldn't. Only when she felt Eric's arm around her shoulders could she relax. "I'm really starting to hate Fez. You know, he's always been pervy and strange, but I never thought I'd hate him." She shook her head and glanced over at the couch. Hyde was still motionless but for the slight rise and fall of his chest. At least he was breathing. That was a good sign. "Do you think Hyde's okay?"

Eric shrugged. "It's not like he's never been passed out drunk before."

Donna shook her head. "You know what I mean. He's been doing nothing but drinking and the circle since Jackie left. We should try to find out what's going on with him."

Eric took her hand. "Donna, in all honesty, doing nothing but getting drunk and the circle is Hyde's ideal life. This is his _heaven_. I don't think we should interfere. He might kill us. Or at least me. You could probably hold him off for awhile."

She wasn't convinced, but decided to drop the argument. No use, anyway. Even if she and Eric offered to help him with whatever was going on, he wouldn't want them to. Eric was right. Better to just let him work this out on his own.

_I'll just have to keep a close eye on him. _

**February 17, 1980 – Honolulu, Hawaii, 6 pm **

The lushness of Hawaii hadn't lost its charm for Jackie yet, and as she walked back to the condo, she smiled. It was nearly impossible to feel anything but alive and hopeful in this atmosphere, with the vibrantly colored, tropical scented flowers and the blue ocean waves that sang such sweet lullabies. The air around her had a thickness to it, like an invisible embrace. The shopping was amazing. And the young, handsome Hawaiians that she'd been perfecting her feminine wiles on had been fun, as well.

All in all, her days had been occupied. Sunshine, shopping, her mother, flirting with strangers she'd likely never see again. A perfect dream of a vacation.

But at night, she was tormented. Thoughts and dreams of Steven took over, and she often woke up in a cold sweat, or tears. It wasn't only how they'd left each other; it wasn't only the fact that despite her best efforts, she still felt love for him. So much love.

Something was wrong with him.

Her smile faded when she reached the entrance of the condo building, and she stopped walking. She stared at the building. Part of her saw a trap. Prison bars. A dungeon. And that part of her wanted nothing else but to turn and run in the opposite direction, into the ocean, even, if the only way to escape. A part of her who listened to the echo of Steven's voice.

_"There's more to you than what your mother is, Jackie. I've always thought so, and I still do." _

And that part of her believed him.

"Jackie, honey, is that a new necklace?"

Her mother's voice startled her. She had been so lost in pensive thoughts she hadn't heard the door open, or the clips of her mother's new high heels against the terra cotta walkway. She shook her head and plastered on a smile. "Hi, Mom. Yeah, you like it?" She fingered the seashell necklace, shining with pastel pinks and purples and blues, around her neck. Her eyebrows raised. "I saw it in a shop and made Juan buy it for me."

Her mom gently lifted the necklace from her neck to look at it, and Jackie watched her, anxious for her reaction.

Pam beamed. "Well, Jackie, this is lovely," she chirped. "And not cheap. You've only had one date with Juan."

Jackie smirked. "I know."

"I told you that you were a natural!" Pam reached out and smoothed down her daughter's hair, still smiling broadly. "A chip off the old…well, young…block. I'm very proud of you." She leaned forward and kissed Jackie's forehead.

Jackie's eyes closed and she savored the few seconds her mother's lips were pressed to her skin.

"Now, come on. We need to get ready. Frederick is taking us to a new restaurant tonight. A fancy one. An _expensive_ one."

Jackie frowned, and her stomach turned. "Mom," she said hesitantly. Frederick was her mother's latest flame, an older man, probably in his sixties, and apparently very wealthy. "Do I really have to go with you? I mean, wouldn't you rather be alone with him?"

Pam looked at Jackie, surprised. "Of course you have to go, Jackie. Frederick likes you and wants to get to know you." She shrugged. "Besides, you have to eat and we don't have any food."

"Mom, Frederick is creepy, and he looks at me funny."

Pam laughed. "Oh, Jackie, he looks at me funny, too. I don't think he can believe that someone as beautiful and young as me has a daughter your age." Jackie didn't look appeased, and so Pam took her hand. "Sweetheart, Frederick is very rich. Very rich. And he could be our ticket to…well, anywhere." She frowned and looked away. "He's also been very tight with his wallet so far." Turning back to Jackie, she forced an unconcerned smile. "This will be a good lesson for you, sweetie. So come on. I want you to help me with my hair. I always have problems with the back of it."

Jackie followed her mom, the knot inside her strangling her breath. There was something wrong with Frederick, she just knew it.

And even worse, there was something wrong with Steven. She could feel it. She just couldn't do anything about it.

**February 18, 1980, 10 am, the Forman house **

He'd climbed the stairs, slowly because of his nasty hangover, hoping for some coffee and maybe some toast. Instead, Hyde found himself standing just outside the kitchen, eavesdropping like the immoral degenerate he was.

"So, I wanted to show you this."

"Eric, this is an acceptance letter from UW."

"I know. I'm going to start in the fall. And before you ask how I'm going to pay for it, look at this."

Hyde frowned. Eric was going to college? In the fall? Donna was too. They'd both be gone. He'd be left here alone with…Kelso and Fez.

_Jackie, too, if she comes back. _

"A scholarship?"

"I won it for my work in Africa. And not just for one year, it's full ride."

Eric sounded nervous, was obviously speaking to Red, hoping for his father's approval.

"I didn't even know you'd applied."

"I know. I wanted to surprise you."

"Well, I'm sure surprised! And…oh, Red, my baby is leaving me!"

Hyde heard a few rushed footsteps, then the swishing of the kitchen door. Obviously Mrs. Forman was upset.

"I…Eric, I really don't know what to say. Except…Except that I'm proud of you. You're finally taking some responsibility, and...frankly, I wasn't sure that would ever happen."

A chuckle. "Thanks, Dad."

"Now, just remember. College is a place for you to _learn, _dumbass, not to party until you can't see straight. I expect you to work harder than you did in high school."

"I'm going to."

Hyde rolled his eyes. What had Forman been smoking? Where had all this frickin' ambition come from? Damn, it made the nausea from his hangover seem pleasant.

"Looks like I was right to give you that pocketknife. I think you're going to do okay."

Hyde turned and walked back downstairs, this time, his feet weighed down by something more intense than just a hangover.

So Eric had finally made his dad happy. Finally given Red a reason to be proud.

Hyde's fist clenched. For some reason, he wanted to pound it in his best friend's face.

He walked into his room, closing and locking the door behind him, and threw himself down on his cot.

He'd never make _his_ father proud, that much was clear. Hell, why should he even want to? Some father. WB had been just as bad as Bud had, in his own, rich way of course. He stared at the ceiling. So Forman and Donna were going to college. Kelso had a job. Fez had one too, albeit a fruity one. Jackie…

"No, damn it," he muttered.

He was so fucking sick of thinking of her. And he always was, except when he was too drunk to think of anything at all.

He smiled and sat up. Nothing could cure a hangover and whatever else was going on than a six pack of beer. And he just happened to have one stashed out in the shower. He got off the cot.

Time for another day in the office. And his father, with all his demands and orders could go to hell.

**3:30 pm, WB Barnett's office **

"I don't want these. So you can just shove them up your ass!"

WB Barnett watched silently as an obviously drunk Hyde clumsily slammed a set of keys, what he assumed were the keys to Grooves, down on his desk. "So, I take it that you're quitting?"

Hyde glared at the man, or at least in the direction the voice was coming from. His sight wasn't exactly the clearest at the moment. "Damn right I'm quitting. Look, man, I'm never gonna be like you. Never gonna care about making money and profit and selling records all over the frickin' country." He shook his head and stumbled a little, until he grabbed the desk to steady himself. "Never gonna care about frickin' anything, man."

WB sighed. "Steven, I really think you should think about this. You're obviously…not thinking clearly."

"I'm DRUNK, man! FRICKIN' drunk! Just say it!"

"Alright, you're drunk. Look, let me call you a cab, you go home, sleep it off, take another few weeks off and think about it some more."

Hyde pointed at WB. "No. I don't need any more time. I don't wanna do anything but what I'm doing now. What Bud did. See, I'm like him." He smirked. "Probably because even though he left, at least he acknowledged me before I turned eighteen."

WB closed his eyes briefly. The anger in Steven's voice, obviously a feeling he'd been ignoring for a long time, was palpable. "I didn't know about you, Steven," he said quietly. "Otherwise it would have been different. I would have been there."

"Whatever."

"Steven…."

It was too late, Steven had turned and stumbled out of the office. WB shook his head sadly, and picked up his phone. He pressed a button. "Yeah, Shirley, do me a favor and call security. Have them keep Steven here until a cab gets here. And call a cab for him. Thanks."

**Later that night, a random Point Place bar **

"Hyde, this place sucks. There are no hot chicks here."

Hyde slammed his empty beer glass down on the bartop and glared at Fez. "You know what, Fez? I don't give a damn, okay?"

He didn't want a hot chick. All he wanted was more beer.

He tapped on the bar to get the bartender's attention. "Another one, buddy."

Kelso looked around. "Hey Hyde, dude, isn't that your father? Or the guy who used to be your father but then turned out not to be your father?"

Hyde turned around and looked in the direction Kelso was pointing his idiotic finger. And sure enough, not even ten feet away, there was Bud. A pitcher of beer in front of him, along with a basket of fries. And a chick on his lap. Hyde couldn't help but smile. He could only see the back of her, but she had an alright ass.

When the chick turned around, his eyes widened. She looked familiar. Very, very familiar. It was Lynnie, the chick he'd banged a few weeks ago. She'd mentioned a boyfriend, said he was older…._Bud_ was her boyfriend? He watched, and the way she was snuggling into Bud's shoulder, kissing his neck….yep, Bud was her boyfriend.

God damn, she really was a whore!

_Bud_ was her boyfriend? He'd banged the same chick his ex-father had?

Damn, he really was like Bud. Same taste in women, same taste in…well…refreshment. Same career choice. Same future. A regular chip off the old block.

He turned back and prayed that neither one of them saw him. Luckily, his glass had been refreshed, and he downed it.

Kelso frowned. "Damn, Hyde, take it easy. So what if your father has a chick and you don't?"

Hyde finished the beer with a wince. "Another one, man."

The bartender shook his head. "Think you've had enough, buddy."

Hyde glowered at the asshole. "Give me another fucking beer!"

Kelso and Fez looked at each other nervously. "Uh…Hyde, maybe we should go…somewhere else. Yeah. Lets go somewhere else."

"No. I'm gonna sit right here and have another fucking beer." He slammed a wad of bills on the bar. "Here. I'll pay triple."

The bartender rolled his eyes. "One more, then you're through."

Hyde smirked. "You're a good man."

He felt that sweet dizziness of drunkenness start to fog his mind, and smiled as he took another drink of the beer. Sweet, sweet beer.

The only thing he had left.


	17. No One to Turn To

**Disclaimer:** Don't own.

**Author's Note: **Sorry I'm not updating as often as I used to. I've been frustrated with this story, and also, to be honest, I've donea little work on another story that is kind of holding my brain hostage. It's a bit less fanfictiony, though, and darker, so I'm not sure how well it would go over. I might just scrap it. Anyway, thanks so much to those still reading this. And especially to those reviewing. :)

**Warning: **Language.

Clichés and Things "They" Say

Chapter 17 – No One to Turn To

**March 4, 1980, Honolulu, Hawaii, 11 am **

Jackie stared in the mirror. She'd done the best she could, but her face still seemed pale. Odd, because she felt like she was burning up inside. She shook her head and continued brushing her hair. She had to make herself look perfect. Though she'd woken up sick to her stomach, her mother hadn't noticed, had informed her they were going to Frederick's fancy country club for lunch, and that she should make herself look as beautiful as possible.

The news made her throw up. Country clubs, she loved. Frederick, not at all. Of course, that didn't matter to her mother.

"There you are."

His voice startled her, and Jackie turned around. The brush in her hand slipped to the floor, landing hard on the tile floor. "Oh," she gasped. "You…you scared me, Frederick."

Frederick smiled, a crooked smile that always made Jackie shiver. He was a tall man, distinguished looking, rich looking, but not handsome. Pock-marked, sallow skin, dull eyes that had no readily apparent color. Older, probably in his fifties. Nothing at all like her father, except perhaps for the money in his bank account. "Your mother and I are waiting. Are you ready?"

She tried to smile. For all his money, one would think he would have had those crooked teeth fixed. "Just about. I just need to finish up my make up." She turned back to the mirror and prayed that he would leave. Something about his presence so close to her….felt wrong. Nerve-wracking.

_Please go away! _

Her hand shook as she raised an eyeliner pencil to her face, but she couldn't apply it. He was in the mirror, behind her, moving closer, until her backside sparked with the sensation of danger; his body only inches from hers. She could see his smile morphing darker. Predatory. A vampire about to feed on his innocent victim.

"Jackie."

His hand touched her waist lightly; the other gently pulled her hair away from her neck.

"You don't need that make up. You already look beautiful. So beautiful, Jacqueline."

A roughened fingertip slid slowly, with a pressure of seductiveness, from her exposed neck down her back, following the line of her spine. Burning vomit gathered in the back of her throat. Her eyes fell closed; she swallowed repeatedly to keep the sickness inside. This couldn't be happening. It couldn't happen to _her_. She had to stop it. Stop it. STOP IT!

"Don't!"

She made an attempt. She muttered that word; she stepped forward until the edge of the counter nearly stabbed fully into her stomach. Her fingertips clutched the cold ceramic of that same counter. Her body felt too weak and trapped to do more. Couldn't even move enough to breathe.

He laughed casually, as if she'd just told him a joke he found somewhat ridiculous. "Relax, Jackie. I'm just paying you a compliment. You love compliments, don't you?"

His finger lingered on her lower back, making tiny circles just above the beginning swell of her rear end.

_Isn't that what I wanted from Fez? Constant compliments? Oh, god…Is this who I am? Who I'm trying to be? _

"Frederick? Jackie? Are you coming?"

Instantly, his touch vanished from her, his face returned to one fitting a respectable, wealthy man. He cleared his throat, and she noticed the awkwardness of his smile. "We'd better go, Jackie."

As if they'd been engaged in some romantic tryst.

"Your mother's waiting."

Like they shared a secret that they couldn't allow her mother to discover.

He left, and her head immediately bowed, dry sobs heaving from her chest, released from her lips in tiny gasps.

What was she going to do? Would her mother believe her if she told her?

Would her mother even care?

Jackie lifted her head and stared questioningly at herself. Shouldn't she feel flattered? Shouldn't she feel beautiful? Sexy? Incredibly special?

Her skin looked dirty. Her eyes looked sleazy. Her mouth looked like that of a slut.

She closed her eyes, but her own image, tarnished and dirty, remained.

Had she asked for this?

"Jackie, sweetheart."

She opened her eyes, and her mother's brilliant smile greeted her.

"Let's go, baby."

Jackie turned and slowly followed her. She couldn't tell her mom what had just happened. What her mom's boyfriend was really after. Couldn't tell her how scared she'd been. Was. And there was no one else for her to tell. She was alone.

She had no one to turn to.

**Point Place, Wisconsin, 9 pm **

"Drinking again, Steven?"

Hyde looked over his shoulder towards the stairs of the basement. "Nah," he replied. "Taking a little break."

Hell, after two weeks straight of nothing but circles, beer, sleep and hangovers, he figured he could use a day off. Everyone was out for the day, or so he'd thought, and he'd found the basement peaceful. Just him and the television. Nice.

Red Forman strode towards the couch, and with a slightly distasteful look at it, took a seat. "Look, Steven," he said, looking pointedly at the young man. "We need to talk. Your father called…"

Hyde scowled and turned his eyes back to the television. Some stupid show that for some reason, today he found amusing. "He's not my father. I don't have a father."

_Except you. You're the only one who's ever acted like one, and I'm sure you don't want to be my father. I'm sure you don't want me to think of you as my father. _

Red sighed. "Fine. WB called, and he told me you quit your job."

Hyde shrugged. "Yeah, well, we all knew I wouldn't amount to much, anyway."

"No. We don't all know that. You are _making_ that happen, Steven. It's not happening _to _you." He took a deep breath, seeking patience. "Now, look. You're living in my house, and Kitty is worried about you. I don't like Kitty being worried, so I'm telling you that you need to clean up your act. You need to get a job. I don't give a crap where you work, just as long as you do."

Hyde knew what was coming. An ultimatum. That was all he was getting lately. Do this, Steven. Don't do that, Steven. He stared at the floor, so damn tired of it all. Of the fighting, of people trying to force him into things. Tired of the same old, same old. Tired of not knowing how to change it.

Tired of himself.

"Or what, Red?"

Red was puzzled by the tone of Steven's voice, quiet, defeated. Beaten down. But he couldn't go soft on him. It was for his own good. "Or else you're going to have to find somewhere else to live." He swallowed, feeling slightly guilty. Steven didn't move, just sat there, shoulders slumped, his eyes focused on the floor. The kid had gotten a raw deal in his life, with parents who hadn't bothered to stick around. One lie after another, this kid had dealt with. Hell, Red couldn't really blame him for wanting to drink himself into oblivion.

But he also knew that Steven was better than that. Had more in him than that.

He stood up. "You've got a week to figure things out, Steven. After that…" He didn't want to say it. "If you don't have a job, you'll need to find somewhere else to live."

Hyde heard Red climb the stairs, but didn't move. Hardly breathed. He sat in his chair and felt nothing.

_Where you gonna go, huh? Gonna go live in the Foto Hut? Leo's gone, man. Can't go stay with Fez. In HER apartment. With HIM. Kelso? Please. _

_Where you gonna go? Back home? _

He swallowed. His saliva tasted bitter, and burned it went down his throat.

The last time, the Forman's had been there. Given him a place to turn to. Given him what felt like a real home. Given him people to turn to.

Now he had nowhere to go. No one to turn to. No one was gonna magically appear to help him out this time. Maybe he could find Bud. Ask him for help. After all, they had the same taste in chicks.

He smiled slightly. Bud. The smile faded. Bud.

He stood up and walked to the shower. "Fuck it," he muttered. He grabbed a beer and quickly opened it. The first swallow was always the best. Cold. Pungent. Tasty. Oh, so tasty.

He shook his head and headed back for his chair. Sat down, put his feet up on the table, took another drink.

_I don't need anyone. No one really gives a damn, anyway. So what if I drink myself into my grave? At least I'd go down having a hell of a good time. _

The phone rang, and he waited for whoever was upstairs to answer it. No one did, and finally, after about the sixth ring, he groaned and reached over for it. "Hello?"

In Hawaii, Jackie held the phone, and her heart started pounding. "Steven?"

Hyde blinked. And again. "Jackie?" It seemed like he hadn't heard her voice in a few years.

"I…I was looking for Donna. She's not at her house, I thought maybe she was…there." With her free hand, she gathered the front of her blouse in her hand, made a fist, rubbed the cotton with her thumb. At night, she heard echoes of his voice, of him telling her not to go, and now…now his voice was real. "Steven…"

He coughed. "She's not here. I think she and Forman went to Madison or something."

"Oh, well then I guess…"

He sat up straight. No. She couldn't hang up. He needed to talk to her, to listen to her. Just….to hear her. "How is Hawaii?" His stomach twisted.

Jackie took a deep breath, trying to relax, trying to ignore the warmth just his voice brought to her body. "It's okay. My mom is here."

Hyde frowned. "Your mom is there?"

"She came to be with me. She wants to make…it up to me."

He smiled. Right. Pam wanted something from Jackie, but it wasn't to make up with her. "I could say something, Jackie, but I'm not going to."

Jackie looked out the window, at her mother and Frederick sitting on the deck, having margaritas and enjoying the beautiful afternoon. She'd gotten a few days with her mother, with only her mother, and then Frederick had taken over. Everything they did was directed towards some goal that ended with Frederick. "I know. She's already got a new boyfriend."

Something in her voice, the way it dulled….Hyde knew that there was something wrong with her. Something happened to her. Something about the new boyfriend, and it didn't sit well with him. He wanted to ask her, wanted even more to go to her, but she spoke before he could say or suggest anything.

"But its great here, Steven. It's so warm, and beautiful. Just like me." She turned away from the window. Hated seeing her mother kiss that man, fawn over that man. And the nausea she'd felt all day wasn't going away, probably because _he_ wasn't going away. "So…" Her brow furrowed. That feeling that something wasn't right with Steven returned. Strong. He wasn't right. Her Steven…Thoughts of him, of his sweet side that he so rarely showed, of all that he'd done for her recently despite all their baggage…. "Steven, I miss you."

_So much, Steven. I dream of you…dream that we're together here. Or at home. That we're together anywhere. Anywhere at all. _

"Right. In between all the shopping and margaritas and sun tanning session, right?" He had to be sarcastic. Had to. Otherwise he'd let her words mean something to him. He'd let himself believe her. Let her crawl inside him. And make everything worse. Because if she knew what had been going on…she'd hate him. Turn on him. Like WB, like Red, like everyone.

She smiled sadly. He should know better. She knew him. She knew what that tone of voice, brittle and cold, meant. "All the time, Steven," she whispered.

His body stilled, his heart stilled. All the time. How could she get to him? All the time? How could she always break him? Make him feel this way? Now, whatever he had that could be called a soul trembled with longing for her. If he could just see her…touch her…maybe he could figure things out.

"Steven, what's wrong? I…I keep thinking that something's going on with you. Are you…are you okay?"

"I…Jackie, I'm just…"

_I'm drinking all the time. Quit my job. Cussed out WB. Found out I'd slept with the same chick Bud is. Getting kicked out of the only place I've lived that's been anything close to a home. And I don't know how to stop any of it. _

_Jackie, I'm so lost. _

His eyes stung. "I'm lo…" He shook his head. No. No. No. _She's just homesick. Doesn't really miss you. Doesn't really care about you. You were a mistake, remember? _

That day at the Foto Hut…

_He kissed her lips softly, keeping his eyes open so he could watch her. Her face was flushed and sweaty, almost glowed in the slight light allowed in from the drive-by window. Her breathing, like his, was still hard, still shallow, and her body underneath his still trembled. He smiled and kissed her again. _

_"Steven…we..." _

_"What?" _

_He lifted up, and noticed her eyes. Tear filled, regret filled. _

_"We shouldn't have done that." _

_She pushed him off of her, and he shivered. The concrete of the Foto Hut seemed like ice to his unprotected skin. He watched, his heart sinking, as she rolled over onto her side. The heat of the most intense pleasure he'd experienced quickly faded. "Jackie, we just…" _

_"It was a mistake….oh, god, I'm so confused, Steven!" _

He shook his head. He'd tried so hard that day, tried to show her, tried to touch her and kiss her and love her enough with his body so she would know what he couldn't find the words to say.

It hadn't been enough. Nothing he ever did was enough. Not for her. Not for anyone. Not for _her_.

"I gotta go, Jackie. I…I don't know where Donna is. I'll…I'll tell her you called."

"Steven, no, just…"

Too late. He'd hung up, and Jackie stood there, her eyes closed. He'd tried to tell her something, started to tell her something but for some reason stopped.

Slowly, sadly, she placed the phone on the receiver.

She turned and looked out the window again. Her mother was flirting with Frederick, tossing her long mane over her shoulder in the way Jackie was so familiar with. But all she could think about was Steven, and his voice. He sounded….lost. Lost. That was the perfect word.

"Oh, god, Steven," she whispered, shaking her head. "I just wish I could do something for you."

Obviously there wasn't anything. He hadn't even really wanted to talk to her. Had practically hung up on her.

But the loneliness in his voice haunted her. How she wished she could be the one he turned to…but apparently, she wasn't. Apparently, she wasn't enough.

**Later that night, Honolulu **

The restaurant was lovely, full of the lushness and color of its island home. Pam Burkhart sat on her chair, sipping one of the tropical drinks she'd grown so fond of, and gazed out at the dance floor. Johnny Mathis sang seductively about being misty, and her eyes never left one particular couple, Frederick and her daughter.

She shifted in her seat. She'd noticed lately all his appreciative glances at Jackie. On one hand, she was proud. Her daughter took after her, was obviously very beautiful, and very attractive to wealthy men. That was everything she wanted for Jackie. On the other hand, she herself hadn't managed to crack Frederick yet, and it was frustrating. His attention seemed to be slipping, and her time was apparently limited. She had to come up with a plan, because the money left over from Carlos was running very short.

And then it hit her. Frederick was very concerned with appearances. Oh, he had his vices, and he willingly engaged in those vices, but always in secret. No one, for instance, knew that he, on occasion, did a few lines of cocaine. No one, for another instance, knew that he habituated a very famous "burlesque" club in Las Vegas. He had a reputation. What if she somehow caught him in a situation that he couldn't possibly let be made public?

Her daughter looked at her, looking rather forlorn, and Pam smiled encouragingly.

Jackie was the key. Young, beautiful, normally vibrant and charming. Irresistible to men.

She took another sip of her drink. Sweet and salty. Her favorite combination.

"Oh, Jackie," she said under her breath. "You are going to be such a great help to me. To us. All I have to do is convince you of that." She raised an eyebrow. Hopefully that wouldn't be too difficult.


	18. Hit Rock Bottom

**Disclaimer: **I don't own.

**Author's Note: **Thanks for reading! And reviewing! Hyde's a little all over the place in this one, but hey, he's drunk.

**Warning: **Language.

Clichés and Things "They" Say

Chapter 18 – Hit Rock Bottom

March 5, 1980, the Forman house

Hyde sat at the kitchen table, staring at his now empty cereal bowl. Hearing Jackie's voice in his head. Craving her more than he craved beer. Unfortunately, she wasn't an option. So he figured he'd head off to the Foto Hut and spend the day there. Pack of cigarettes, a few cases of beer, a book, some chips, no idiots bothering him. The perfect day.

Absolutely perfect. Then why was he having such a hard time getting up and going?

"Eric, I just…oh, sweetie, I'm so proud of you, but I'm..."

Mrs. Forman and Eric walked into the kitchen, and Hyde looked up. She was obviously upset, her eyes were teary as she followed her son. Eric rolled his eyes at Hyde, but turned around to face her. "Mom, I'm not leaving for another five months."

Kitty smiled and began fussing with Eric's shirt collar. "I know. It's just that you're my baby. And with you gone, and Laurie…well, wherever she is…I'm going to be left alone." She frowned. "With your father."

Eric grinned and glanced over his shoulder at Hyde. "Don't worry, Mom. You still have Hyde. I don't think he's going anywhere."

Hyde noticed the awkward smile Mrs. Forman gave him. She knew better. She knew about Red's ultimatum. And she knew he'd never turn things around. That he'd be gone in a week. Couldn't really blame her, but it still…bugged him. That even she could think so little of him.

_Have you really given her a choice? _

"Honey, just…please don't be a stranger."

Eric sighed. "Mom, I won't be. Look, I'll call you all the time. And Donna and I will come home for the weekends, so you can still do all my laundry." He smiled.

Kitty touched her heart. "Oh, Eric, that would just be wonderful!"

Hyde again stared into his bowl, but could still see Eric and his mother…._his _mother…hugging. _Must be nice, Forman. To have someone that you always know will love you, whatever you do. Not demand you be a certain way before they do. _

Eric kissed his mother. "I'll see you later."

Kitty smiled at Hyde after her son was gone. "Well, you know, he's right," she chirped. She walked over to the kitchen table and filled Hyde's glass with more orange juice. "I will still have you in the house." She set the decanter down and clapped her hands together. "Yay!"

The kiss he planted on his head, the force in her voice sent Hyde reeling, and he jerked away from her attempt to hug him. "Yeah. Only difference is I'm not your son." He stood up and looked harshly at the only woman who'd ever earned the title "mom" in his life. "And you're not my mom."

He walked out the sliding glass door, but stopped. Turned. Mrs. Forman had walked back behind the counter, and she stood there, her head bowed into her hand. Shoulders shaking. Crying, probably. Chicks always cried so damn much.

Because of him.

He shook his head and left, energized by guilt.

_Better that she hate me, anyway. Then maybe she won't care when I'm gone. Won't even notice. Won't cry. Be better off. _

Wasn't that always his justification?

Later that night, the Fellanio's house

The walls of the house shook, both from the Zeppelin blasting on the stereo and the energy of the swarm of people, dancing, talking, laughing. Donna looked around distastefully as she and the guys walked in; this was _not_ her kind of party. Half-dressed, drunk girls dancing with pawing, perverted guys. "You know, it's a good thing we're going to college, Eric. Otherwise, _this_ could be our life."

Eric squeezed her hand and grinned. "But Donna, I thought _this_ is what college is all about. A four year, non-stop party."

She glared at him. "Eric, college is for learning. For preparing ourselves for the real world so we make something out of ourselves so we don't end up like…" She gestured at the crowd. "These people."

Kelso rolled his eyes. "Yeah, that's why I didn't go to college. 'Cause I love these people!"

Fez nodded eagerly. "So do I. I've learned that drunken whores are very friendly and do not mind when I hum." He smiled dreamily. "I like to hum."

Donna shook her head. Why did she hang out with these people? "Whatever, dillholes. The only reason we're here is to find Hyde."

Eric pointed across the room, his smile gone. "I think we just found him."

She followed his gaze and groaned. There was Hyde, sitting on the floor against the wall, his arm wrapped around a keg the way a guy would wrap his arm around his girlfriend. _Fitting. _He was holding a cup, and had obviously refilled it from the keg more than a few times. She sighed. Just another night for Hyde. "Lets go."

When they reached him, Eric smiled faintly. "Hey, Hyde. Enjoying the party?"

Hyde looked up, and found his four friends – or did he have eight, because there were eight of them – in front of him. He grinned and raised his glass. "Forman. Check it out." He pointed to his left. "I nailed that chick. And ya know what? She's going out with Bud, man. My dad and I have the same taste in chicks! What do ya think about that?"

His words were slurred, hardly distinct. And he reeked. He'd been here for awhile. Donna bit her lip. Another night of mindless drinking. Seems like that's all Hyde did lately. "Actually, Hyde, that's kind of messed up."

He just smiled. "Yeah, well, mezzed up is cool, man."

Eric frowned and reached down as Hyde turned to fill his cup. He took the cup. "Hey, buddy, I think maybe you should take a break." The look Hyde gave him should have killed him, but Eric didn't back down. "Man, you're already drunk off your ass."

"So _what_?" Hyde struggled to get to his feet, gripping the keg to push him up. Maybe if he was standing, the room would stop spinning. He wildly reached for his cup, but it kept shooting out of his grasp. "Fuck, give it to me!"

Kelso looked around. "Well, since you and Eric have this under control, I think I'm gonna go find myself a lady!" He walked away.

Fez nodded quickly and turned towards the crowed, opening his arms and offering himself. "Okay, drunken whores, I am free until my girlfriend comes back from Hawaii. Well, actually, I am free after that, too. Come and get me!"

Hyde stared angrily at the two retreating Fez's. "Jackiez not hiz girlfriend," he muttered. He closed his eyes. There she was. Right in front of him. Smiling at him. Touching his cheek. Pressing herself against him. Kissing him. "Shez mine."

Donna and Eric looked at one another. Hyde stood there, swaying, what could only be described as a dreamy smile on his face, his eyes closed. "Hyde? Uh, I don't think that…"

"Where iz she, man?" Hyde looked around the room, his brow furrowed. "I wanna kizz her…Forman, where iz she?" He turned quickly, and stumbled into Eric.

Eric caught him and pushed him back to his feet. "Whoa, buddy. Take it easy." He looked at Donna nervously. What should he say? And why in the hell was Hyde calling Jackie his girlfriend? Was all this drinking because of her? "She….well, see, Jackie's not exactly here right now, Hyde."

"Why not?"

He sounded sad, like what he must have when as a kid, he begged his dad to stay home, and it hurt Donna. She was tempted to lie, to tell him that Jackie would be there soon. Then he'd pass out and not remember any of this tomorrow. Her mouth opened, but Eric's did faster.

"She went to Hawaii, remember?" Eric regretted it shortly after saying it. Hyde's face quickly darkened.

Hyde stared at nothing and saw her, standing there, waving goodbye as she backed off into some tropical paradise that didn't have enough room for him. Leaving him, and not caring. "That's right." His feet stumbled in a small circle, the opposite direction the world was spinning. "She left me. Jus' like everyone doez…." He pointed at Eric, his arm unsteady, his eyes twisting the image of his friend into just a random person, just another one. "You're gonna leave me too when you go to fucking college."

He shook his head and managed to move his feet, though they felt so heavy, though his entire body felt as if it was bogged down by a thousand pound boulder. "I'm outta here. Tired of people leaving. So I'm gonna leave before everyone else doez."

He passed by Eric and Donna with surprising speed, and the couple, after glancing at one another, followed him. Outside, when they noticed he was heading for his car, Donna grabbed Eric's arm. "Eric, he can't drive like this."

Eric nodded. "I know." He jogged over to Hyde, who was struggling with the keys to the El Camino. "Hey, buddy, whoa there." He tried to grab the keys. "Come on, Hyde. You can't…god, just give me the keys. I'll take you wherever you wanna go…come on, man!"

Hyde could hardly see through the alcohol, but he could feel someone – Forman? - trying to steal his keys. Yelling gibberish at him. Probably telling him, like everyone else, what a fuck up he was. He shook his head angrily and pushed the guy's shoulders as hard as he could. "Leave me the fuck alone!"

_Everyone just leave me alone! _

Donna watched in horror as Eric flew backwards and landed on his back on the driveway. "Eric!" A gust of late winter wind hissed past her, and she shivered, taking a few steps towards her boyfriend.

Eric groaned; he'd managed to keep his head from hitting the pavement, but it wasn't exactly pleasant for the rest of his body. He sat up slowly, and shook his head at Donna. "I'm fine. I'm fine." He got up as fast as he could. Hyde was nearly falling into the car. Panic spread in his stomach. Only one thing left to do, or at least, only one thing he could think of in the heat of the moment. "I'm going with him."

Donna stepped in front of him. "No. You can't get in that car with him!"

Eric sighed. "Donna, I can't let him just take off!"

"He's drunk, Eric!" She shook her head. "Let him hit rock bottom by himself!" Cold, she knew. But Eric was her boyfriend, and Hyde was not. In fact, Hyde had made himself this mess. Why should she feel sorry for him?

But she did.

"I know that! But…" He closed his eyes, thinking of how long he'd known Hyde. How long he'd depended on Hyde. Those nights when no one else was around and they hung out in the basement, drinking beer, watching television, just hanging out. The rare times Hyde came to him with a problem. All that could – would - disappear if he didn't do _something_. "I can't let him hit that bottom alone. Just…follow us." He pulled away from his girlfriend and ran around to the passenger side of the Camino. The door was unlocked; he jerked it open and slid in.

Hyde's glassy gaze met his. "What the hell? Get out!"

Eric shrugged, hoping that his presence would slow Hyde down, make him think. Maybe. "I'm going with you, man. I'm not leaving you."

Hyde swallowed and looked away, at the steering wheel. It was floating, and he had to grab it to keep it still. The dizziness was losing its charm, the alcohol its blocking out affect. Anger was creeping in. Hurt was sneaking in right behind it. And all he wanted to do was get away. From it all. "Get out, Forman," he muttered.

"No. Wherever you're going, I'm going with you."

"I wanna go to Hawaii," Hyde whispered. "Wanna see Jackie." A thought, what felt like a memory, crossed his mind, and he grinned. "Mr. Jackie Hyde. I'm gonna be Mr. Jackie Hyde."

Eric nodded slowly. "Okay, buddy. Hey, why don't you let me drive?"

"No! You don't know where she is. You don't know where to go. I'm gonna find her. Gonna find her now, man. 'Cause she believes in me, man.…" He pushed the key into the ignition. Then again when it didn't go in the first time. And again. Finally, he got it.

Eric narrowed his eyes; what in the hell was Hyde talking about?

The engine started, and Eric took a deep breath. "Okay, Hyde, look, just…take your time, okay? No rush. She's waiting for you. You don't have to hurry." His fists clenched, and he could barely smile, especially when Hyde turned a crazed, drunken grin towards him.

"Lets go find my little Tinkerbelle!"

Honolulu, Hawaii

Jackie grimaced as she struggled to adjust the strapless dress her mother wanted her to wear. It hurt; the wires in the bust pressed into her breasts, and for some reason they were particularly sensitive. They had been for the past few days, almost sore. She shook her head and finally decided she was as adjusted as she was going to get. She stared at herself in the mirror.

"So this is what rock bottom looks like on me," she muttered.

She'd agreed to her mother's plan. It had been useless to fight; she'd threatened to go home, her mom took all her cash and credit cards. She'd gone to the phone to call the Forman's or Donna, her mother told her she'd already called them and told them not to give her any money or help her get home. Her mother had cried, told her they were almost out of money, and if they didn't break Frederick soon, they'd have to go home. They'd both have to get jobs. They'd be _poor_.

Jackie felt trapped. Her mother cried, told her she _needed_ her. For the first time, she needed her. And so she forced herself to ignore that little voice – sounded so much like Steven – that said Pam was just playing on her feelings. That Pam was basically pimping her out.

She wasn't going to have to actually _sleep_ with Frederick. They'd agreed on that.

Jackie turned away from her reflection. Couldn't stand to see herself. Not today. Not anymore.

As she walked towards the door, a chill began at her toes and in an instant, covered her entire body. Steven. Something was wrong with Steven. Her Puddin' Pop.

"Puddin' Pop?" she whispered.

"Jackie, sweetheart, we need to get going!"

Jackie rolled her eyes. Of course. It was always what her mom wanted, needed. She shook her head and took a deep breath, smoothing down the skirt of her dress. Tonight was part one of the plan. She'd have to do her best to not think about Steven tonight.

_Not gonna be that easy, Tinkerbelle. _

She shook her head again, harder, trying to rid her mind of his voice. He couldn't help her now. And she couldn't help him, no matter how very much she wanted to.

"Jackie!"

Her hands clenched. "I'm coming!"

_Rock bottom, here I come. _

Point Place, fifteen minutes later

The slush on the road confused Hyde. Wasn't Hawaii supposed to be all tropical and sunny? Why was it so dark? He squinted. Things were so blurry. Like everything was underwater.

Eric glanced nervously at Hyde. "Hey, there, buddy, I think I see Jackie over there." He pointed at a corner up ahead. "Why don't you pull over and we'll check it out?" So far, Hyde seemed to have control, with the exception of some wandering back and forth between lanes. But the longer they were in the car, the worse he felt. Donna had been right. Getting into the car had been a mistake.

Hyde shook his head and leaned forward, looking around eagerly. "No, man, that's just a fucking tree. How can you think Jackie is a tree? She's so much sexier than a tree….wait….wait…"

Eric swallowed hard. The car was speeding up. His fingers curled tightly over the edge of his seat.

"That street up there…that's gonna take us….that's gonna…that's the one…" He knew that street. Sycamore. That was the way to Hawaii. And to Jackie. Hurry. Had to hurry before she left again. Had to get to her before she was gone. His foot lowered on the gas pedal.

"Hyde, slow down!"

The car began to turn left, then violently jerked to the right.

"Shit, wrong way! Gotta go that way!"

Hyde laughed as the car began to spin, just like the rest of the world. For the first time in several hours, he saw straight.

Round and round. Faster and faster. Tighter and tighter. Lights blurring. Air breezing by.

"HYDE!"

He turned the wheel against the skid, laughing wildly, heady from the thrill of the dizzying motion.

"HYDE! STOP! STOP! GOD, **STOP**!"

The last thing Hyde saw was Jackie, dancing in front of him, coming closer and closer to him, until finally, he was with her.


	19. Hell On Earth

**Disclaimer:** I don't own.

**Author's Note: **I'm sorry I left you hanging...I've had computer issues, so it was longer than I anticipated. This chapter is rated Rish, so be warned. I tried not to be very graphic. Thanks to everyone reading, and to those who review!

**Clichés and Things "They" Say **

Chapter 19 – Hell On Earth

**March 4, 1980, Honolulu, Hawaii **

"Jackie, sweetheart, stop that. It's not ladylike."

Jackie rolled her eyes and stopped adjusting the top of her dress. "Sorry, I just…it's not very…." She paused. Her mother wouldn't care. "Never mind." She looked around the restaurant, her stomach shifting nervously. She'd thrown up before they left, and now, after only a few bites of her shrimp, she felt like doing it again. Of course she did. Tonight was the night she was supposed to seduce Frederick. And that was enough to make the hardest woman, except perhaps her mother, vomit. He was vile. Slimy was too pretty a word for him.

Not like Steven.

She thought of the postcard she'd sent to him the other day and wondered if he'd received it yet. If it meant anything at all to him.

Pam also scanned the place anxiously, then leaned towards her daughter when she found that Frederick was nowhere in sight. "Now, look, sweetie. When Frederick comes back, you'll ask him to dance and I'll go to the ladies' room. While I'm gone, you'll talk him into going back to the condo."

Jackie's eyes lowered. Could she really do this? Did she have any choice? Was earning her mother's respect and love really worth going through this? Her head shot up proudly. Of course it was. This was her chance, possibly her only chance, at getting her mom back. "You're going to leave as soon as we do, right? And you're going to go right to the condo? All I have to do is kiss him? Nothing more?"

Pam laughed, tossing her hair over her shoulder. "Jackie, don't worry so much. It'll give you wrinkles." She noticed the lack of a smile on her daughter's face and sighed. "Look, sweetheart, you won't have to be alone with Frederick for very long at all. I'll be practically on your heels after you leave. Just make sure you get him to kiss you. That'll be enough guilt for him to open his wallet." She glanced over her shoulder and straightened up in her chair. "Okay, he's coming. Get ready."

"Lovely flowers for two even lovelier ladies."

Frederick handed Pam a long-stemmed red rose, and another to Jackie, each accompanied by his most charming smile. He reached for Pam's hand and gallantly lifted it to his lips.

Pam played demure, with a coquettish half-smile and fluttering of her eyelids. "Oh, Frederick," she purred. "You're so sweet. Thank you." She withdrew her hand. "Now, if you'll excuse me, I absolutely must go powder my nose." She looked at Jackie pointedly.

And Jackie got the point. As her mother sauntered away, Frederick's eyes following her, Jackie took a deep breath. _I can do this. It's for her. She'll love me if I d this. She won't have to get an insulting job if I do this. I WILL do this. And it's only a little flirting and kissing. I can handle that. _She smiled as sexily as she could and held out her hand towards the man. He was still watching her mom, and she cleared her throat in a delicate, feminine way. He turned to her, and she lightly licked her lips. Bingo. His eyes flashed, and she had to fight the nausea readying to fill her throat. "You forgot me," she said with a pout. Soft. Sexy. Like vocal silk, her mother had taught her.

"Well, we can't have that, now, can we?" A rich baritone voice had never sounded as depraved to her as his did. He took her hand, and a pair of lips had never felt as cold or sickening on her skin.

She did her best to stay alluring, and cocked her head while slowly drawing her hand back. "Would you like to dance with me, Frederick?"

His expression was nothing short of drooling. "I thought you'd never ask."

He stood and held his hand out to help her from her seat. She took it, again flicking her tongue over her perfectly painted mouth, her heart beating fast with fear.

_You're nothing like your mom, Jackie. _

_Shut up, Steven! _

As she stood, she leaned over, purposefully revealing a bit of cleavage. A quick glance up told her she'd accomplished her goal; Frederick was leering at the top of her dress. She rose fully and held him back when he started to turn towards the dance floor. "Actually, I was thinking that we could dance together…." She swallowed hard. _You can do this, Jackie! Stay sexy! _"Back at the condo."

His eyes lit up, and for the first time, Jackie could define the color. A light green. Monster green. Perverted, nasty old man green.

But also rich green. Money green. Cold, hard cash green.

"What about your mom?"

_You can DO it, Jackie! _

She ran her fingers, oh so lightly, across his chest, shoulder to shoulder, inching lower and lower. "She's already had four margaritas. One more, she won't remember where she is, let alone where _we_ are."

_Don't cry, Jackie. Do NOT cry. _

He touched her, brushed his fingertips over her cheek, and she struggled to smile. Struggled to make herself feel sexy, to turn his touch into someone else's.

Frederick tossed some cash on their table and grinned at her. He held his arm out to her, she supposed in another gallant gesture. Maybe she was supposed to think that she was leaving with her very own Prince Charming.

"Lets go, Jacqueline."

As they headed for the door, she looked over her shoulder, tears now sheathing her eyes. Her mother should be there, watching them leave, ready to follow them immediately.

But Jackie didn't see her.

**March 6, 1980, very early morning, Point Place **

The pain was too much for him to feel anything at all, except a heaviness weighing his entire body down and a stillness that almost sang gloom. Hyde blinked a few times, only seeing the steering wheel his face felt plastered to, and took a few breaths. It hurt; like a knife was lodged into his side. But he couldn't stop. Even as dizzy as he was, he knew he couldn't stop. And he had to move. Had to get up, before he slipped into the sweet relief he sensed beckoning him.

He lifted his head, groaning from the effort, and through the cracked windshield, saw the pushed in, brutally dented hood of his car. The trunk of a tree seemed to sit right in the middle of it. "Shit," he mumbled. Out of the corner of his aching and squinting right eye, he noticed that he wasn't alone, and he slowly turned his head. Forman sat slumped over in the passenger seat, not moving, his head on the dash, but Hyde thought he heard soft groaning. Prayed he heard soft groaning. "Forman…damn it!" He turned his body, and his side was pierced by pain. Even so, he reached over and touched his buddy's shoulder. "Forman…Eric, come on, man…Eric…" Shook him. "Come _on_, man…Eric, wake up….god, please wake up!"

"I'm awake, I'm awake." Eric slowly raised his head and winced, looking out in front of him. "Did we hit that tree?" He closed his eyes and touched his forehead. "Damn. Sure feels like it." Another wince. "I think I'm bleeding. Am I bleeding?"

The gash on Forman's forehead seemed to Hyde about as huge as the sun and as captivating; he couldn't look away, though it was nasty. Red, swollen, and bloody.

_I did that to him. I did that to my best friend! _

"You okay? Hyde?"

Hyde shook his head slowly, his lips unable to press together because of the guilt filling him. This was what his life had come to. He'd almost killed his best friend. Making a noise that sounded like it belonged in the throat of a dying animal, he turned to his door. Had to get out of there. Fuck his pain. He just had to get out of the car.

_I almost killed my best friend. My BEST friend! _

Eric moaned and struggled against his body's protestation to exit the car. When he finally was free of it, he found Hyde kneeling on the curb and throwing up, his face lowered nearly into the snow. He moved towards him and forced himself to squat down. At least his legs only felt sore, unlike his head, which felt shredded. "Hyde, man," he said quietly. He put his hand on his friend's back and frowned. Hyde was shaking bad, not from cold, or from the heaves, but from violent sobs, and Eric wasn't quite sure what to do. "Hey, it's gonna be okay. You just…" Deep breath. "You just gotta stop drinking." He looked up at the quiet sky. Clouds hovered and blocked out all the stars. The only light around was that of the street lamp a few feet away. "You're gonna kill someone…or yourself."

Hyde flipped his head towards Forman, the world still spinning. His chest was so damn tight; he could hardly breathe. "Who cares? God, Forman, look at me!" He gestured to his sorry shell of a body that protected a worthless soul. He knew he was crying, but hardly felt it. The blurred vision seemed natural. Almost right. The wracking of his body seemed like home. What he deserved. He pointed wildly at Forman. "Look at what I did to you! Everyone would be better if I was just…dead!" He swallowed hard and stared at the cut up face. Cuts he'd put on his friend's face. "I wanna die. I just wanna…I want it all over."

Eric didn't take his hand off Hyde's back and scooted a little closer. Hyde was traumatized, not sober, he realized that, but still, his words chilled Eric. "Man, no you don't. And no one would be better off if you were dead."

"Who in the hell would care, Eric?"

It made Eric pause and smile. How long had it been since he'd heard Hyde call him Eric? It was sort of…nice. "I would," he answered. "Donna would, my mom would, Fez, Kelso. Even Red would. I just…" He looked away. How did he say this without coming off as a total wuss? He looked back at his shaken friend, and shrugged. Screw it. "You're my best friend, Hyde. I just…I don't think I'd know what I'd do if you weren't…if you weren't around."

"What about Jackie? Would she…do you think she'd…"

Eric nodded. Should have known. Jackie was the devil incarnate, but in all truth, she'd been the only chick to ever really make Hyde happy. Even he had to give her credit for that. "Of course she would, Hyde. She'd be devastated."

Hyde looked at Forman, and the gasps began to slow, air began to flow more freely into his body. The wetness on his cheeks, a mixture of blood and tears, slowed in its descent. Forman didn't hate him. Didn't want him to die. And he'd said that Jackie would be devastated. Jackie. God, he wanted her now. Her sweet hands, so soft, her tender kisses, her eyes that could melt all his pain away. "I still love her, man," he said, his voice cracking. "I wish…wish she was here, because I don't…I don't know what to do anymore."

The admission didn't surprise Eric, and he knew, despite Hyde's injuries and drunkenness, that it was honest. He wanted to say something, anything, but wasn't sure what.

"Oh my god, Eric, Hyde, are you okay?"

Eric turned and saw Donna running towards them. He nodded. "Yeah, yeah…"

"Is everyone alright? What happened?"

A woman, obviously the owner of the tree they'd plowed into, joined Donna in front of them.

"Can you call for an ambulance?" Donna asked, kneeling down next to Eric and looking him over. "Oh, god, Eric…"

"I've already done it. It's on the way."

Eric looked over at Hyde. He was bent over, his head nearly in his lap, and was rocking back and forth, again shaking all over.

All he could do was leave his hand on Hyde's back.

This had to be hell on earth.

**Honolulu, Hawaii, the same time **

"Mmmm, Jackie. You smell so…sweet."

Frederick inhaled, and Jackie looked away, her body cold with disgust. He held her close enough she could feel his arousal, and not even Johnny Mathis singing about his silly grin helped ease the urge to be sick. Dancing with him was bad enough; how in the hell was she going to survive letting him kiss her?

He laughed, a self-satisfied chuckle. "I knew you'd see things my way. I knew you wouldn't be able to resist for long. The young ones never are."

She looked at the door, praying that it would open and she'd be saved from this hell. The young ones. He was probably some sick child molester. The younger, the better. Her stomach twisted, and her body nearly collapsed when her mother's boyfriend pressed her lips to her neck. _Oh god, no! NO! I can't do this! I CAN'T DO THIS! _

And yet, she did. He moved to her lips, and she let him kiss her, though hardly kissed him back. Inside, she felt the slow crawl towards death, the sickening loss of her self-respect as his hands cupped her rear end and drew her closer to him.

_"Jackie, sweetheart, I need your help. I've never asked you for anything before. Please, baby, please help Mommy. I don't to have to wait tables in some sleazy diner." _

_Your mother is a whore. A whore. A WHORE. _

"Lets go to the bedroom, Jacqueline."

She pulled back, glancing one more time at the front door. It had been almost half an hour; where was her mother? "I…But Frederick, I'm having such a good time dancing," she said, trying her best to sound sultry. She dragged her shaking fingertips down his tie.

He smiled. "It'll be an even better time in the bedroom, my sweet." He turned and began to lead her in that direction.

She stumbled after him; her body felt nothing. No energy. No fight. She wondered if prostitutes felt this way after hooking their next trick. Just another job. Just another meaningless use of the body.

She wondered if her mom felt this way.

_Where is she? She promised she'd be right behind us! Where IS she! Mommy, I can't do this! _

Her heart pounded the beat of panic. Her mother was leaving her no choice. She was going to have to do more than just kiss Frederick. Because it was apparent that HE was going to leave her no choice, either.

_I can't! I can't! _

But she couldn't pull herself out of his grip. She couldn't fight.

He led her to the foot of the queen-sized bed and turned to her with a lusty smile. "Now, Jacqueline, lets dance."

She winced and tried to breathe, but it was impossible. He pulled her to him, his hands splayed tightly and painfully on her lower back, and enveloped her. His head plunged to her neck, knocking it backwards so quickly she felt a snapping sensation. Greedy lips worked her skin with sloppy kisses. Wet. Gross.

Tears burned her eyes, bile scorched her throat, and she could hardly manage to whisper. "Fre…Frederick, slow down. Please…slow down…" She tried to push him, her hands on his upper arms, but he was stronger, and kept a hold of her. "Please…" He responded by pushing _her_, and her plea gave way to a gasp. She tumbled backwards, landing on the bed. The tears released in a shower as he roughly adjusted her further up the bed and pounced down on top of her.

Instinctively, her body squirmed, struggling for any possible way out from under his. He pressed down hard, crushing her chest, her breath, her ability to scream for help. Her hands were of no use to her; he had them trapped under his on either side of her head. Her legs strained to stay closed, but his thighs, twice the size and power of hers, forced her open. She released a weak cry when he began stabbing his sick desire against her.

"No…"

"Yes, my sweet, oh, yes!"

_Mommy, where are you? Oh god…god…no…no…. _

She retreated. Her eyes closed, and there was Steven. Smiling at her so proudly when she'd kicked Laurie's ass. Believing in her strength when she didn't.

_"There's more to you than what your mother is, Jackie. I've always thought so, and I still do." _

"NO! NO! **NO!**" From somewhere inside her, probably where she kept Steven, Jackie found that strength, and managed to give it life. She pulled her hands out from under his and reached up to claw at Frederick's face. "NO! STOP IT! NO!"

Frederick laughed and sat up, removing his face from her reach. He tore his tie off and unbuttoned his shirt, using his considerable weight to keep her from moving. "Sorry, sweetheart," he murmured. His fingers teased the top of her dress. His face was flushed, his eyes dilated with crazed lust. He licked his lips. "You can't say no. Not now. It's too late." With obvious thrill, he tore the cotton of her dress away and exposed her breasts. "God, oh, god, you're just….I want you!" He instantly lowered his head to feed on the newly presented feast.

"NO!"

She remembered what to do. Steven had taught her. She knew where Frederick was at his most vulnerable. And somehow, she made her body work. Her right leg bent, and she shot her knee upward towards Frederick's repulsive heat as hard as she could. His body jerked, then weakened, and he yelped in pain. She pushed his shoulders, again, as hard as she could, and he rolled off of her, his groan limping into whimpers.

"Jackie? Frederick? What…what is going on here?"

Jackie struggled off the bed and to her feet, standing on weak legs and clutching the ruined top of her dress to her chest. She panted, her chest still feeling the pressure of Frederick's crushing attack. _Now _her mother showed up. _Now_ her mother looked at the wheezing Frederick in horror.

Fake horror. Manufactured horror.

Tears streamed uncontrollably down Jackie's cheeks, and she didn't bother to try to hold them back. She understood now why her mother had taken so long to get here. The gleam in her mother's eyes as she surveyed the situation told all. Things had gone exactly as her mother had planned. Kisses weren't enough for her mother. Sex was worth more than a few kisses where blackmail was concerned. "You wanted this to happen," she whispered. "You wanted him to…you were gonna let him…"

Pam's eyes widened. "Jackie, sweetheart, I don't know what you're…" She feigned ignorance. "What is going on?"

Jackie shook her head quickly. "You wanted me to sleep with him….and if I said no, you wouldn't have cared if he'd…if he'd…You wanted him to rape me!" Her breath came faster and faster, burning her chest, making her dizzy, and the room was spinning so fast. "You PLANNED this, even though you said you'd be right behind us!"

She'd been nothing to her mom but a sacrificial lamb to the throne of wealth. Her mother had tried to send her to hell on earth, and all for her own gain.

"Jackie…"

"You planned this, Mom!"

And with the last of her nearly depleted energy, she ran out of the room.

Hell on earth, and put there by her own mother.


	20. Nowhere to Go But Up

**Disclaimer: **I don't own.

**Author's Note:** Thanks so much for sticking with this story! We're almost there, one more little angsty hump to get over (but it won't be TOO bad, I promise). Those of you reviewing, thank you so much! I appreciate anyone just reading this, but especially those who take the time to review. Enjoy! And the worst is behind us. :)

Clichés and Things "They" Say

Chapter 20 – Nowhere to Go But Up

**March 6, 1980, 3 pm, Point Place Police Station **

The ceiling of the holding cell was grey, just like the floor, walls and so called furnishings. Even the bars were a variation of the morose color. So much for scenery. Hyde shifted on the cold concrete bench and winced. Broken ribs, unsurprisingly, were turning out to be a bitch to handle. He looked up at the ceiling and began counting the cracks, again. He'd been in the holding cell for at least seven hours. An hour at the hospital, getting his ribs wrapped, stitches in his cheek, cuts cleaned and bandaged, and then was immediately arrested. Drunk driving. Reckless driving causing injury. And now he was stuck here, waiting for WB to bail him out.

_If_ WB bailed him out. Considering their last conversation, that was a huge if.

The sound of approaching footsteps made his heart race, but the pace immediately fell when he saw who the officer was leading to the cell.

"Okay, buddy, you're getting some company," the heavy-set officer commented as he unlocked the door. He opened it, and shoved Bud Hyde in. "There you go. Now you two play nice."

Hyde glared at his former father. Great. What a way to improve on a day that had been made in hell. "Bud. So you're in jail. What for this time? Did you break into someone's house and steal their beer?"

Bud grinned and sat down on the bench next to Hyde. "Nice to see you too, son."

Hyde grimaced. "Don't call me that."

"Man, you know, chicks today need to be labeled or something. 'Yes, I am legal. No, I am not legal, even though I look legal.'" He shook his head. "Turns out the chick I've been seeing is only sixteen. Tonight her parents walked in on us." He shrugged. "So here I am."

Hyde swallowed. "Lynnie's sixteen?"

Bud smirked at him. "Yep. You're lucky. You didn't get caught." His eyes gleamed wickedly. "Yeah, she told me that she met you." He shook his head. "Tsk, tsk, Steven. Trying to steal your old man's chick."

Hyde stared at the man and tried to breathe. It was hard enough with the ribs aching so badly, but now…with Bud…the man who'd abandoned him so many times….it was damn near impossible. "First of all," he said lowly. "You're not my father."

Bud chuckled. "That's right. Forgot. Heard you won the jackpot; your real old man is some rich dude, right?"

For some reason, the lack of reaction from Bud made Hyde's stomach hurt. Bud didn't give a damn. Clearly. He shook his head. Why should _he_? It wasn't as if Bud had ever been a real father to him.

"What are you doing here, Stevie? You look kinda beat up. Get in a bar fight?"

Hyde rolled his eyes and looked away. "Car accident."

Bud nodded. "You were drunk, right? Always were just like me."

Hyde turned and glared at the bastard. "I am nothing like you," he said slowly.

_Aren't you? Don't you remember those times, those rare times when Bud was actually home, when he came home stinking drunk? Don't you remember the times he stumbled into walls, or tripped into the tables because he was so blinded by booze? _

_Like you were when you got behind the wheel? Like you were when you nearly killed your best friend? _

He stared at the floor in front of him. His eyes blinked repeatedly, staying closed longer with each movement. Tried not to think about how he'd always wanted his father. How much it had hurt as a kid and all the other guys on the little league team had a dad watching every at bat, every play on the field. And how he'd always trudged home alone to a mother too drunk and upset about her latest boyfriend to give him any comfort.

Involuntarily, he turned his head and looked at Bud. Bud sat back on the bench, his head resting against the wall, his eyes closed. So much like the few memories Hyde had of him. Bud on the couch, head back, eyes closed, an open beer in his hand, completely ignoring the pleas of his son to go outside and play catch.

_"Just get the hell out of here, Stevie. I ain't gonna play fucking catch with you." _

He'd gone to Kelso's house. Kelso's dad played catch with his son. He'd gone to the Forman house. Red at least tried to play catch with Eric.

What would his life be like if he'd had a father? An actual, involved father?

_A whole hell of a lot better than this shit. _

Hyde shook his head, and a long dormant anger, or maybe an anger he'd just manage to ignore for the past several years, sparked. "It's all your fault," he muttered, only half aware of having spoken.

Bud's eyes opened, and he rolled his head to look at Hyde in confusion. "What in the hell are you talking about?"

"The fact that I'm here. My life. Everything." Hyde stood up, ignoring the brutal pain in his side. He began pacing, as quickly as the emotions were churning from his gut up to his throat, too quickly for him to stop or control them. "I almost killed my best friend tonight, and it's all your FUCKING fault!" His eyes stung and became blurred. "My life is shit because of you."

Bud laughed and rose to his feet. "How do you figure? How in the HELL is whatever you've done MY fault?" He shrugged. "You made your own choices, son. I had nothing to do with it."

Hyde stared at the man. Cold pain, so familiar to him, yet so fresh, rushed like a waterfall from his chest to his toes. "That's right. You had nothing to do with it. With me."

Bud rolled his eyes and took a few steps towards the younger Hyde. "What in the hell are you so upset about, Stevie? You just said yourself, I'm not your father."

"I thought you were! YOU thought you were!" The rage exploded out of Hyde's lips, the words boiled from his throat. "You thought you were my father and STILL you just didn't…you just…you never…."

"You think it's so easy to be a parent, huh? Let me tell you something, Steven. It ain't. Trying to figure out how to scrounge up enough dough to buy food and diapers and all that shit babies need ain't cake!" He smiled, rather wickedly. "You'll find out someday. You'll knock up some whore and she'll back you into a corner. And then you'll see that it ain't that fucking easy!" Another cackle. "'Cause father or not, you're just like me, Stevie."

Hyde's entire body trembled. How could he argue? How could he fight truth?

He couldn't. And he knew it. He'd turned into a drunken, out of work, sex fiend. After all, he'd slept with a sixteen year old, too. He drank until he couldn't see straight, too. He lived off the generosity of others, too. And he was tempted to run away from it all, too.

_Just like Bud. _

No. No. No.

_"You can do it. I've always believed in you, and I still do." _

Her voice was almost as clear and strong and certain as it had been the day she'd spoken those words.

Hyde shook his head. No. No. "No," he said. "No, you know what? I'm NOT gonna be like you, Bud." The echoes of Jackie's words fed him determination. He threw back his shoulders. "If I ever have a kid – a son – I'm actually gonna hang around."

Bud smirked and sat back down, crossing his arms over his chest. "Whatever, Stevie. You think that now. But just wait. When it happens, you'll find a way to bail."

"Hyde."

Hyde turned at the sound of a female voice, and was somewhat startled to see Donna standing on the other side of the bars. "Donna." Grateful for the interruption, he took a few quick steps towards her. Not surprisingly, she didn't exactly look happy to see him. He tried to grin as if no conversation had occurred between him and his ex-father. "You here to keep me company?"

Donna's gaze was harsh, and she didn't smile. "WB is bailing you out, they're working on the paperwork right now." Her expression turned angry, her voice icy cold. "You could have killed Eric, Hyde."

"I'm aware of that, Donna."

_God, it's just about all I can think about, Donna! _

She shook her head. "I don't know why we don't give up on you. You're gonna kill yourself, and your gonna take whoever cares about you down with you."

Hyde's stomach twitched. "Is this supposed to be some kind of pep talk?'Cause if it is, it sucks."

"The thing is," she continued, completely ignoring his snarky remark. "We haven't given up on you. Eric seems to think that this'll turn you around."

Hyde smiled bitterly. Donna didn't appear convinced of that fact. "You don't, though, right?"

She shrugged. "I'm just gonna wait and see." She reached through the bars, and for the first time, Hyde noticed that's he held a postcard in her hand. "Here. Its from Jackie. Came this morning."

He took the card and looked briefly at the picture. A beach, crystal blue water, and a hot chick in a bikini kneeling in the tide. He turned it over and found it full of Jackie's loopy, girly handwriting, and for some reason, the tightness in his stomach, even the pain in his ribs seemed to subside.

_"Dear Steven, I look so much better than the skank on this postcard. I mean, look at her! Her tan isn't even, and she's got cellulite on her thighs. MY tan is perfectly even and not a dimple on me!" _

He grinned. She wasn't lying. All that cheerleading made for a perfectly toned body.

_"I miss you. I keep thinking that something is going on with you, and whatever it is, Steven, just remember that I believe in you. You're always there for me, even after everything we've been through, and when I get home, I want to be there for you, too. I believe so much in you, Steven, and I'll see you soon." _

He closed his eyes. She'd signed the postcard with "love". Love, Jackie.

"Hyde, look, I don't want to lecture you, but you've gotta get your life together. You can't keep doing this or else you'll…you'll wind up…"

He looked at Donna, then glanced over his shoulder. _You'll wind up like him. Exactly like him. _

"I don't want that," he whispered. He looked down at the postcard. She believed in him, that he could be more than what Bud was, what he was heading for. She'd signed it with a "love." That had to mean something. He looked at Donna again and cleared his throat. "I'm gonna get my life together, Donna."

So what if he sounded wussy? Better than killing his best friend. Better than turning into Bud Hyde.

She smiled and reached through the bars to take his hand, and he squeezed it gratefully. "Good. And just think. You have nowhere to go but up from here."

He took another glance at the postcard with Jackie's words and smiled slightly. "Yeah. Up."

**March 6, 1980, 9 am, Honolulu, Hawaii **

Jackie stood on the porch of the condo, gazing out at the people on the beach. So happy. So carefree. Worried only about getting too much sun and sand in inconvenient places.

"Jackie, I'm leaving. Will you walk me out to the cab?"

Jackie rolled her eyes. Her mother. She'd tried to bribe her with part of the money Frederick had given her. Hadn't even acknowledged what had almost happened last night. "Just leave my wallet on the kitchen table."

Her eyes closed when two hands touched her shoulders.

"Sweetheart, I know you're upset about what happened, but it worked! Frederick paid for his sins….and handsomely. I'll be able to go back to Mexico and stay there for a year at least. You could come with me, sweetheart, we'd be together, and wouldn't that make it all worth it?"

Jackie smiled bitterly. Sure. Worth it. Worth having almost sacrificed her body to a predator. Sure. "I'm going back to Point Place, Mom. I don't want to be with you." She turned around and looked at her mother. So beautiful, but such an empty shell. No soul. No humanity. Nothing inside of her that meant anything. And what she could have so easily become. What she'd almost allowed herself to become. She took a deep breath. "I don't need you anymore, Mom."

Pam sighed and cocked her head. "Oh, sweetheart. Everything I've done here has been for you." She took a few steps towards her daughter. "I love you, baby."

"No." Jackie backed up, held up a hand to ward her mother's approach off. "You don't love me. And I'm done feeling lousy about it. I'm done living my life trying to make you love me." Tears swarmed her eyes. "You've done nothing for me. Here or anywhere. Everything you do is always FOR you."

Pam stared for a moment, her lips quivering, but after that moment, shook her hair off her shoulders and regained her composure. "Well. I'll just be going then." She swallowed. "Goodbye, Jackie. I'll…I'll send you a postcard."

Jackie chuckled softly, even as her heart tore. "You do that." Her mother turned, and in her elegant, graceful way, stalked off. The door to the condo didn't slam behind her, but closed softly, and it hurt. Jackie would have loved to hear the door slam. At least it would have indicated some fricking emotion. She turned back towards the beach and again watched the people, wiping the now falling tears off her cheeks.

She noticed a little girl, about three or four years old, playing in the sand. A woman who must be her mother swept her up in her arms and twirled her around. Jackie could almost hear the joyous laughter coming from the little girl, and the bright smile and laughing eyes of the child made her own heart ache.

And for some reason, the sight reminded her of the lady in the airport who'd helped her after she'd nearly been attacked by a stinky drunk. What had she said about being nice?

_"I always try to be kind to people who look like they need it. And even to those who don't look like they need it. It makes them feel better, and it makes me feel good, too." _

She smiled sadly. "I'd like to feel good."

It hit her. Maybe she needed to be nice to people. Maybe she needed to do things for other. Maybe then her – what was that thing Steven used to talk about? Karma? – life would turn around. Maybe if she helped someone, God, or whoever pulled the strings of life, would help _her_.

Her heart started beating faster, and she felt a tingling in her fingertips. It meant she was on to something. All of her good ideas were accompanied by that feeling.

Funny, when she'd decided she wanted to be Steven's girlfriend, she'd felt the tingle. When she'd decided to date Fez, she hadn't.

Steven. He seemed so lost and lonely. And as much as she wanted to believe he was lost without her, and lonely to the point of desperation for her, she knew he wasn't.

She took a deep breath. She'd help Steven. Somehow. She just had to figure out how.

She smiled and looked up at the glorious sky. She'd said a final goodbye to her mother, and was going to live life independent of that shadow. She was going to do good things for people. And things were going to get better. There was nowhere to go from here but up.

**Point Place, 5 pm **

WB was quiet as he pulled the car out of the parking lot of the Point Place Police Station, and Hyde stared out the window. He had no idea what to say to the man who'd just paid five thousand dollars to get him out of jail. Instead, he stared at the winter-covered town and rubbed the postcard resting on his thigh.

"You know, Steven, there's an Alcoholics Anonymous meeting at the hospital tonight. Six o'clock. I think it might be a good idea if you go."

Hyde looked at WB, his face contorted into a glare. "What? Man, I'm not an alcoholic. I don't need that crap."

_Yes, you are. Yes, you do. Admit it, man. Just fucking admit it. Remember what you decided in the holding cell? Faced with Bud? Faced with your damn certain future? _

He looked back out the window, afraid that WB would figure out his thoughts.

"Maybe you could just listen. Look, I talked to the DA, and going to AA meetings is going to be part of your probation, IF he decides to offer a plea bargain to you. Would you rather go to AA meetings or spend a few years in prison?"

Hyde looked down at the postcard and turned it over so he could see Jackie's handwriting. What would she want him to do? He smiled slightly. What would she _demand_ he do? He shrugged. "Maybe I can just listen."

WB nodded. "Good." He glanced at his son. "I'll go with you, if you want."

Hyde looked at WB and shrugged, but his lips curved upwards. "Thanks, man."

**Forty five minutes later, PP General Hospital **

Hyde sat in the meeting uncomfortably. God, was he really at an AA meeting? How in the hell had he agreed to this? Must have been the pain medication he'd been given for his ribs. And where had WB wandered off to? He'd said he was getting coffee, but he'd been gone for awhile.

"Fancy meeting you here."

He looked to his left, and was startled to see Mrs. Forman smiling at him. "Mrs. Forman," he said. "W-wh…what are you doing here?"

She reached for his hand. "I ran into your father and he told me you were here. I figured I'd come keep you company." She chewed her lower lip sheepishly. "The truth is, though, this might be good for me, too. I'm sure you haven't noticed, but occasionally I overindulge in wine." She laughed.

Hyde chuckled.

"Now, look at all these people, Steven. They all seem so friendly, they're all smiling and hugging one another. Isn't that nice, sweetie?"

He looked at her, remembering how he'd hurt her yesterday. And how worried she must have been about Forman. Even so, she was here. She was here with him, holding his hand, not expressing any hate towards him at all. Calling him sweetie. Putting no conditions on him.

No conditions.

Unconditional.

"Mrs. Forman," he started, uncomfortable with what he was about to say, considering it was truth. "I…I just…"

She smiled encouragingly at him. "What is it, Steven?"

He swallowed hard. _Just tell her! _"I just wanted you to know that…that you _are_ my mom." He shrugged. "I…I've thought so for a long time."

He smiled when Mrs. Forman hugged him, and unlike all the other times before, this time, he didn't resist. When she whispered that she loved him, he nodded.

"I love you, too."


	21. My, How Things Change

**Disclaimer:** I don't own.

**Author's Note:** Thanks so much for the reviews! And most of all for reading. :) I just hope those who are reading are enjoying it...I know it's been angst heavy. It's better now. :) I think there will be about three or four more chapters. And an epilogue. Enjoy!

**Warning:** Uh...you know, even Hyde doesn't cuss in this chapter! Wow!

Clichés and Things "They" Say

Chapter 21 - My, How Things Change

**March 8, 1980, Los Angeles, California **

Only a few months back, Jackie never would have dreamed she'd be having this conversation with Sam, the whore who'd stolen Steven away from her. Now, though it didn't exactly feel good, or even right, at least it didn't seem completely out of touch with reality. My, how things change.

She stirred the umbrella in her drink. It was a waste of two bucks; the two sips she'd taken had made her feel sick to her stomach. "So you think you'll be able to get to Point Place by Friday?"

The blonde nodded with a slight smile. "Sure. I don't have a lot to pack."

Jackie nodded. _Of course you don't. All your clothes are hot pants and tube tops. Slut clothes don't take up much space. Just like your brain doesn't take up much space in your head. _

"Jackie, are you sure this is what Hyde wants?" Sam paused, but then shrugged. "Never mind. It's worth a try. And if he doesn't go for it, I can always just go to Chicago. I love Chicago. My sister lives in Chicago, and she's always telling me that…"

Jackie looked away and completely tuned the whore out. So casual. Like it didn't matter one way or another to her if Steven wanted her. How could she feel that way? How could she not see this as a life or death thing? Ecstasy or utter agony? _If it were me, that's what it would be. Ecstasy or agony. _She smiled sadly and her eyes became watery. _That's how it WAS for me. _

Doubt tinged her stomach, but she ignored it. This was something Steven needed. He was lonely, and Sam was his wife. Despite the stupid hope that kept popping up in her every time she remembered their goodbye, she knew that it wasn't her he wanted. He wanted Sam. She had to do this. For him. No matter how much it hurt her.

"Okay, then," she said, turning back to Sam and plastering a fake smile on her face. "You have my number. Just call me when you get in town, and we'll go from there."

Sam nodded. "Hey, Jackie, thanks." She smiled wryly. "I know we're not exactly friends, but thanks for doing this for me."

Jackie's spine stiffened, and she glared at Sam. She shook her hair off her shoulders and ignored the dizziness she suddenly felt. "Lets get one thing straight, _Sam_," she snapped. "I'm not doing this for you. I'm doing this for Steven." She swallowed hard. "I'm doing this for him. Don't _ever_ forget that." The crack in her voice upset her, and she pushed the drink across the bar, hard. It tumbled over the edge, and shattered on the floor behind. "I'll talk to you later."

She turned and hurried away, her now overflowing eyes scanning quickly for a ladies room. The nausea was thick and heavy, threatening with urgency, and when she located the restrooms, she broke into a jog.

She tried to tell herself, as she was sick, that it was all for him. That it was worth getting sick over, as long as he ended up happy. Part of her believed it. The other part of her had no idea how she was going to go through with this plot, how she was going to shove her worst enemy right into Steven's arms. His strong, warm, heavenly arms.

And how she was going to pretend to not care.

**Half an hour later, Point Place, Wisconsin **

Hyde stood just inside the kitchen door, watching with a slight smile as Mrs. Forman cooked breakfast. Red sat at the table, reading his paper, and Eric sat at the counter. He looked over his best friend. A few scratches on his cheek, and a bandage covering the gash on his forehead, but he looked good. Alive.

Eric looked up and met Hyde's gaze. He grinned. "Are you just gonna stand there all morning?"

Hyde rolled his eyes. Yeah. Alive.

"Steven, sit down. I'll get you some juice. And breakfast is just about done, so I hope you're hungry!"

He shrugged. What he really wanted was a beer. Two or three beers, as a matter of fact. Or an entire case.

"It's overrated, Hyde."

He looked at Eric. "What are you talking about, Forman?" Damn, was it written all over his face or something?

Eric nodded slowly. "You know what I'm talking about." He grinned. "Come on. Mom's omelets are so much better." He looked at Red teasingly. "And especially her bacon."

Hyde rolled his eyes. It was rather irritating; Eric had been watching him closely the past few days, making sure he wasn't drinking, as if he'd been appointed his guardian angel or something. And yet, part of him appreciated it beyond any words he could possibly say. Because since that accident, he'd only wanted a beer or a case about five hundred times. And only given in a few. Which was progress. How things change.

He nodded. "Yeah."

The phone rang.

"Steven, can you get that, please, sweetie?"

He turned and picked up the phone. "Hello?" His heart stopped beating. "Jackie. When are you….yeah, sure. Tomorrow? Yeah, I can pick you up."

Red cleared his throat. "Steven."

Hyde tensed his jaw. Damn it, he couldn't. His license had been suspended. But damn it, he wanted to pick her up. Wanted to spend time with her with no one else around. Maybe he could figure out some way to tell her what had happened, and about his feelings for her. Damn it, he had to figure out a way to pick her up! "Yeah, okay, I'll be there. Okay. 5 o'clock. United Flight 221. Yep. Got it. Hey, Jackie?" He turned away from the eyes glued to him, facing the wall. "I…I just…" He swallowed. "I'm just glad you're coming home."

After hanging up, he turned, and was greeted by Red's arched eyebrow. He smiled. "Someone has to pick Jackie up. Might as well be me." He shook his head as Red began to protest. "Don't worry, Red. WB has a driver. I'll just borrow him for the day." He smirked, suddenly feeling energized. "I won't break any of your white man laws." He walked over to the table and sat down. "Lets eat!"

**March 9, 1980, Chicago O'Hare International Airport **

The bruises on his face seemed to leap inside of Jackie, to her heart, and although she trembled with the thrill of seeing Steven again, her chest ached. Something bad had happened to him. "Steven," she breathed, taking quick steps towards him. "What happened?"

Hyde stared at her. How had he forgotten how beautiful she was? His chest felt so tight; breath was hard to come by. "Uh, long story," he said. The last thing he wanted to do was talk about it. Not now. Not yet. He grinned and looked her sexy little body up and down. She was dressed for Hawaii and not Point Place, oddly enough, in a little strapless sundress, her coat off and slung over her arm. He could see the thin tan lines on her shoulders, and found them quite alluring. He could imagine the one on her back. And the ones at the tops of her thighs. Damn. "Hey, you were right. You look much hotter than that skank on the postcard you sent me."

She smiled, her cheeks warm. He wasn't wearing his sunglasses, and his eyes…god, so blue…lingered on her with almost sweetness. It almost made her forget the fact that his face was banged up. Almost. Instinctively, she reached up and placed her fingertips on his cheek, just above his jaw, just below a bruise. "Steven, what happened to you?"

"Nothing, Jackie." He should pull away from her nagging, but didn't, and instead, turned his lips towards her touch and gently kissed the tip of her index finger. Just that tiny taste of her made his blood hot, and he hoped to God it would distract her. The way she sighed audibly and closed her eyes, he figured it had. He grinned. "Come on. Lets get out of here."

A few minutes later, Jackie sat in the back of a limo, looking around her in partial awe, partial confusion. "Steven, I…I mean, I love limos, but why didn't you just bring your car?"

Hyde smirked. Thank God for WB's generosity. Of course, WB liked Jackie. Hyde suspected that WB wanted to play a little matchmaker, and at this point, he wouldn't complain. "I just wanted to bring you home in style. You know, since you always like to make an entrance. What's more of an entrance into Point Place than in a limo?"

Jackie arched an eyebrow. Clearly, he was hiding something. Between the bruises on his face, this limo, and the almost non-stop grin on his face, she was convinced of it. She made herself comfortable in the leather seats with a small smile. She'd let it go. For now. "Whatever, Steven." She looked around, and forced herself to set aside the worry. "God, this is amazing!"

He looked down at her hand, resting on her knee. He wanted so much to take it and hold it, hold her forever. "So," he said, shaking his head slightly. What was with all these freaky thoughts lately? God, sobriety, or at least near sobriety, was turning him into Forman. "How was Hawaii?" His stomach clenched. "How did it go with your mom?" The brief moment she looked into his eyes, he saw it. Hurt. And he knew. Pam had done something to hurt Jackie even more. His hand squeezed into a fist. Damn, he'd like to beat that woman. And he didn't believe in hitting women. But Pam Burkhart…she sure as hell deserved it.

Jackie quickly looked away, out the window, swallowing the sick feeling in her throat and trying to keep herself together. She had nightmares about Frederick, and her mother, and she knew that he'd figure out something was wrong if she let him. "Oh, it was great," she said, the enthusiasm in her voice false even to her. "We had so much fun. The sun, the beach, shopping." She turned back to him and smiled widely. "Mom was great. We spent a lot of quality time together."

_Until she decided to turn me into a prostitute. Until I almost decided to let her. _

Hyde rolled his eyes. She always thought she was such a good liar. She was always wrong about that. "Well, if you really did, then I'm glad."

She glared at him. "Of course we did, Steven."

He shrugged and looked at her, right in the eyes. She knew he didn't believe a word she said. "Fine, then. Good."

Jackie was so tempted to tell him, to spill it all. He'd comfort her, of course he would. He always did. But she couldn't. She couldn't let herself take comfort from him, because it would only make her want him. More. She was already facing a stiff battle in getting rid of her feelings for him; no need to make it even harder.

It didn't keep her from putting her hand over his. Just to feel his touch again…his skin, his body…god, it was good.

"I missed you, Steven."

He shifted in his seat. His pulse was racing, and the temptation to kiss her mercilessly was getting too strong. "Yeah right," he said gruffly, clearing his throat after the attempt to brush her off. "In between the shopping and drinks with umbrellas in them, huh?"

She curled her fingers around his hand. "I really did, Steven."

_You'll never know how much, Puddin' Pop. Never. _

They're eyes met, and just like it used to, the honesty that somehow eluded both of their voices flowed freely through their shared gaze, and both of them knew the truth.

He shrugged a shoulder, his heart still racing, his stomach clouded with tenderness. "You too, Tinkerbelle," he said quietly. He turned the hand she held over and laced his fingers through his. Just the touch of her hand….made things like his old pet name for her slip out of his mouth.

Jackie tried to fight the giggle, but it was too late. She was sinking in the familiar quicksand of Steven. He'd just called her Tinkerbelle, the name that always made her melt in his arms. "Do you even remember why you started calling me that?"

Hyde grinned. "Sure."

Jackie rolled her eyes. "Tell me."

He gave her an exasperated sigh. "You dragged me to that stupid Peter Pan play." Of course, to be fair, she'd more than made up for it the following three nights after that.

"Oh, you loved it. You loved Captain Hook."

"Yeah, 'cause he was evil. And he had a hook for a hand." He chuckled. "Can you imagine the kind of damage I could to Kelso if I had a hook for a hand?"

"And you liked Tinkerbelle."

"She was wearing a really short skirt. Great legs."

Jackie shook her head in disgust. "Pig. Then what?"

"So I got drunk and told you were sexy just like Tinkerbelle. You got drunk and dressed up like her, and voila! I started calling you Tinkerbelle." He smiled. "You know, now that I think about it, you are a lot like Tinkerbelle. Jealous, possessive…" His smile turned wicked. "Tiny. Cute. Really sexy." He reached over with his left hand and pulled up her skirt so he could see her calves. "Yep. Incredible legs."

She laughed and swatted his hand away. "Steven!" Still laughing, she straightened out her skirt. "You're terrible."

He scooted closer to her and stared at her as she worked on her now rumpled skirt. "Yeah." She looked up at him, her eyes dancing, and the upward curve of his lips fell.

The air thickened, electrified and buoyed by the rampant emotions in each heart. And each of them took shallow breaths that failed to satisfy. Neither looked away; neither could look away.

Two bodies leaned slightly towards one another. Two minds shared the same thought.

_I want to kiss you so bad! _

"I…" Jackie pulled herself out of the spell, reluctantly, and immediately felt cold when she took her hand out of his and scooted over a few inches away from him. She closed her eyes and turned her head. Couldn't look in his eyes any longer, or she'd be a goner. "I did decide that I'm not gonna take Fez back."

Hyde sighed in disappointment at her withdrawal, but her words somewhat made up for it. "I…I'm glad," he said, though those two words did nothing to convey the relief he felt. The pure exultation he felt.

Maybe he had a chance. Maybe after a little while, he had a _good_ chance. After all, she kept looking at him in that way. Soft eyes, shining eyes. The most beautiful look he'd ever seen, and the look that he still dreamed about.

Jackie nodded and stared at Steven's legs. Better his legs than his eyes, though his legs, his thighs were so strong and muscular. She licked her lips and remembered how fuzzy they were, how she loved rubbing her hands over them, all over, and how he went crazy whenever her lips kissed patterns all over them.

_No. No. NO! Remember what you're gonna do for him, Jackie! Do NOT fall into this trap! You are not what he wants! _

She sat up straight. "I uh…hey, I brought you home something from Hawaii." A touch of nausea in her belly made her pause, and she grimaced her way through it. "I can't give it to you for a few days, but I think…" Sudden tears in her eyes, and she had to blink repeatedly. "I think you'll like it."

_I know it's what he wants. He's lonely. She was his wife. If I get her back for him, he'll be happy. Finally happy. And that's what I want for him. That's what I want for you, Steven. _

Hyde stared at her, though she was avoiding looking at him now. And he smiled. He had a good feeling about this. She was acting shy. She only acted shy when she had something on her mind, something important to her. Something she was slightly afraid of. Maybe….just maybe…so much had changed….maybe she was going to tell him she wanted to get back together with him. That SHE was what she'd brought home from Hawaii for him.

God, he hoped so.

He prayed so.

A few hours later, the two stood in front of Jackie's apartment door. Hyde looked at her, a little concerned. She didn't look quite right; she looked a little pale and sick, and he guessed it was because she was nervous about facing Fez. "You sure you're gonna be okay? Fez is here. Maybe we should just…"

Jackie shook her head. "No, I need to face him. I have to talk to him." She smiled weakly up at Steven. Truth be told, she'd much rather go with Steven. Anywhere but here. Anywhere she could lie down and sleep, she was so damn tired. But she couldn't. She had to talk to Fez and end it for good. Then she could rest before turning her energies to making Steven happy. "Thanks for picking me up, Steven. In a limo."

He nodded. "Yeah, well...whatever."

Jackie wanted to cry, and just as the tears were almost too strong, his hands gripped her waist and pulled her into a hug. She squeezed her eyes closed and she clung to him, savoring the feel of him around her. "I'm gonna make you happy, Steven," she whispered brokenly into his shoulder. "Very happy."

And it was going to be her goodbye to him. Making him happy.

Hyde squeezed her closer, despite the sore ribs, her curves pleasing his body like no other woman ever had been able to. And he smiled.

My, how things change.

Because now he actually WANTED her to make him happy. Needed her to make him happy. Before he'd always scoffed at her notions of making him happy. He'd always thought happiness was overrated. Stupid. Foolish. Asking for pain. But now…now he wanted to be happy, with her.

If she told him that she wanted him back, damn, would she make him happy.


	22. People Change

**Disclaimer: **I don't own.

**Author's Note:** Thanks for reading and reviewing:) It's almost over.

**Warning: **No real need for one.

Clichés and Things They Say

Chapter 22 – People Change

**March 8, 1980 – Fez and Jackie's apartment **

Compared to the luxury of her mother's condo in Hawaii, the cheap apartment in Point Place seemed dull and boring. It took Jackie a few minutes to readjust, and part of her wished she was back in the tropical paradise, enjoying the warm kisses of the sun, the softness of the beach, only not with her mother. With Steven. He'd insist on wearing jeans and a grungy tee shirt, and wouldn't go in the water, but still. He'd rub lotion on her back and gawk at her as she played in the waves.

That would be heaven.

Being back in Point Place was likely to turn into hell.

She sat on the couch, listening patiently to Fez rant about her leaving without telling him, without saying goodbye, without responding to his overtures. She accepted his glares without feeling much of anything at all. The memory of what he'd done here with her mother still reverberated through the rooms, and yet, the pain wasn't nearly as intense. Hawaii had changed her perspective, she supposed, big time. Funny. She'd never thought a person could change so quickly.

"Why did you not let me know that you were coming home? I would have bought flowers and candy." Fez paused, looking thoughtful. "And a new toy horse for you, since Donna broke the other one." He shook his head. "She is one violent and scary chick."

Jackie smiled faintly. Donna being protective. And feminisitic, of course. "It's one of her better qualities, she said, following her words with a deep sigh. _Go ahead, Jackie. Sure, you're gonna break his heart, I mean, who wouldn't have a broken heart after losing you? But he deserves it. Besides, you know he's been sleeping with every girl within smiling distance of him. Donna told you that. _"Fez, when I was in Hawaii, I did a lot of thinking."

"Are you breaking up with me?"

"We were already broken up, Fez." She arched an eyebrow. He sounded almost eager. "Remember?"

Fez nodded. "Yes, yes." He glanced at his watch. There was another party in an hour he and Kelso wanted to go to; he wondered if this would take that long. Then again, if they were a little late, the whores would already be drunk and therefore, much, much looser.

Jacke looked at Fez. He'd once been an awkward, slightly geeky but sweet foreign guy, like a wide-eyed child facing an entirely new world. Over the years he'd worshipped her, adored her, kissed her in the movies, danced with her, roller discoed with her, comforted her after break ups with Michael, after break ups with Steven.

But she didn't recognize him now. He had a different look. Less sweet and awkward, more put together and confident. A different attitude. Less innocent, more smooth and suave.

People change. He certainly had. She had too, and she couldn't help but wonder if he would even notice.

"We're not going to get back together, Fez. Ever."

Her declaration left both relief and regret in the wake, regret because she knew things between them would never quite be the same again.

Fez frowned. He had been thinking, too, and had decided that while he adored Jackie, and she certainly was an angel, right now what he wanted was to be free. But she'd put a permanent ending to the relationship, and he didn't want that. "But I bought you all those things! Even a toy horse! And I sang you a song!"

Jackie rolled her eyes and stood up, stepping a few feet towards him. She shouldn't be angry; the image Fez had of her was the one she'd projected. The one only Steven, and on rare occasions, Donna, could see through. "That's not enough for me, Fez. Not anymore." She raised an eyebrow. "Besides, Donna told me that you weren't exactly pining over me while I was gone."

Fez glared. "Donna told you? I should have known she would. Ladies with huge mouths cannot stop themselves from talking." He shook his head, but then smiled proudly. He couldn't help it. His success with the ladies still surprised even himself. "But it is true. I have been very busy lately." He sighed, and his smile faded. "I know I ruined things for us, Jackie."

Jackie shrugged. "It probably wouldn't have worked between us, anyway."

Fez nodded angrily. "Yes, because Hyde was interfering." He pointed at Jackie. "I may have slept with your sexy, sexy mother, but you went off with Hyde after I poured out my heart to you. Did you make out with him?"

She was tempted to laugh. This was so stupid and juvenile. So…yesterday, metaphorically speaking. Playing games, hurling accusations, arguing back and forth about who had hurt whom worse, all the things she would have done in this situation just a month ago. Instead, she turned and walked past Fez to the counter. She idly drew S patterns on it with her finger. "I…Fez, this is pointless. We both want different things."

Fez swallowed, and stared at his former girlfriend's back as he asked her the question he'd been wondering almost since they'd started dating. "Do you…do you still love Hyde?"

She turned and smiled sadly at him. She'd promised Fez that he wouldn't be her rebound guy. Maybe he wouldn't have been, had things played out differently. Chances were, though, that he would still have been, even had the cheating never happened. "The truth?" He nodded, and she took a deep breath. "Yeah, I do. I can't…I can't help it, Fez."

Not that it mattered much. Unrequited love was worthless.

Ironic, though, that the first person she admitted it to was Fez.

Fez moved to the couch and sat down. Maybe it was time to disregard his pride and admit what he'd been feeling since she'd left. Kelso always advised against honesty, but screw Kelso. He was not Kelso. He'd never be as man pretty as Kelso, but then again, he wasn't as stupid as Kelso. "Can I tell _you_ the truth, Jackie?"

She joined him, sitting next to him at a respectable distance. "Of course."

"I liked being with you, don't get me wrong. But I really liked being with all those girls. And your mom." He winced when she glared at him. "I am sorry that I hurt you, Jackie. I really am. I never meant to." He shrugged. "I thought I loved you, but maybe…maybe it wasn't really love."

Jackie nodded. She'd always known that, or at least she'd always suspected that. "I know. It's just…like I said. We want different things. You want to play the field, and I…" Tears filled her eyes, but she faked a smile. "Want something."

_I wanna be with Steven. But I can't. All I can do is try to make him happy, even without me. God, how am I gonna be able to watch him with that stupid whore? _

"I'm surprised that you are not dismembering me."

She giggled and swatted at him. "I guess I'm past that stage, Fez."

He nodded and studied her face. "So…is what you want to get back together with Hyde?"

Jackie twisted her fingers together and watched them. Such pretty fingers; long, thin, topped with perfectly manicured and painted nails. Steven used to watch them after sex, when she habitually ran them over his chest. He liked red nails the best, though sometimes, in his softer moods, he preferred pink. "No. I mean, I do, but it's not…it's too late for that." _He doesn't want me. _She dug her nails, currently painted with clear polish, into a palm. The pain was minute compared to that in her chest. "But I'm gonna do something to make him happy."

"What?"

She shook her head. "I can't tell you." She cleared her thickening throat. Change the subject. Quick. The thought of Steven and her plan to lead him to happiness via his ex-wife was making her nauseous again. "So, Fez. Are we…I mean, do you understand why we can't get back together?"

"Yes, Jackie. You are right. I think we are better off as friends." He moved towards her, his arms open, to hug her, but she shifted backwards, and he smiled sadly. No matter how much he enjoyed his newfound stud-hood, he'd always regret hurting her. "Maybe not friends quiet yet."

She smiled, this one more genuine. Relieved. It was over, and she wouldn't have to deal with it anymore. "Someday, Fez. Someday, I'll forgive you, and someday we'll be friends again."

"Like we were before?"

"No." She knew better. Nothing could ever, once changed, once damaged, be quite the same again. "But maybe even better."

**March 9, 1980 – the Forman basement **

Eric flopped down on the couch and groaned. "God, it feels so good to sit down."

Donna laughed and sat next to him. "Yeah, 'cause we've really exhausted ourselves packing up Hyde's one thousand tee shirts and five pairs of jeans." She grinned at Hyde, who after turning on the television, settled down in his chair.

Eric looked over at him. "Man, I can't believe you're really moving out."

Hyde nodded. He'd made the decision a few days ago, and had managed, with only a little help from WB, to find himself an apartment. It was okay, nothing real homey, like the Forman's house had become to him, but it would do. He didn't need much. "Yeah, well, I had to someday. Might as well be now."

The truth was that he was trying to take some responsibility for his life. He'd taken his job managing Grooves back, and oddly enough, it felt good. To have a purpose for getting out of bed other than getting drunk and/or high.

Of course, another of his purposes was Jackie. He hadn't heard from her since he'd dropped her off yesterday, and it made him feel weird. "So Donna." He glanced in her general direction. "You talk to Jackie today?"

Donna nodded, but with a frown. "A little. She's been sleeping most of the day. I guess she's jet lagged." She smiled teasingly at Hyde. "Did she enjoy the limo?"

Eric chuckled. "Something else I can't believe. You picked up the devil in a limo."

Hyde glared at Forman. "I didn't have a choice. Someone had to pick her up and it's not like you were gonna volunteer."

Eric shrugged. "Nah. She could have stayed in Chicago. Life would have gone on."

Donna swatted her boyfriend's arm. "Not funny, Eric."

Hyde crossed his arms and tried to act casual. "Whatever. So…Donna. Has she talked to you about Hawaii at all?"

Donna stared at the tv. "Not really. All she would say is that she looked better in her bikini than any of the, and I quote, beach tramps there. She wants to go back next year. She likes having a perfect tan in the middle of winter." She looked over at Hyde and cocked her head. "You're awfully curious, Hyde. What are you digging for?"

Hyde shifted. "Nothing, Donna, god." He rolled his eyes, but the tension in his stomach wasn't going away. He hadn't managed to get any clue at all as to what was going on with Jackie, and he couldn't shake the need to know. Something had gone wrong in Hawaii, he knew it had. When Donna looked away with a sly smirk, he cleared his throat. "Its just that she told me yesterday that she brought me something back from Hawaii. I don't like surprises so, you know, I thought maybe you knew what it was or whatever."

Donna nodded, that same smirk on her lips. "I bet you're hoping that it's Jackie wrapped in a big red bow, huh?"

Hyde stood up. Should have known better. Isn't this how they all treated one another? Only taking each other seriously in a crisis? He turned to the deep freeze. "Whatever, Donna."

"Awwwww, Hyde loves the devil. Hyde loves the devil."

Hyde shook his head, but didn't say a word in denial. Somehow, he couldn't find the necessary lies. Not now. Not after everything. To the contrary, a need to finally set the record straight swelled in him in a rush. He turned without getting the Popsicle he'd been after, and looked back and forth between the giggling Donna and smirking Forman. "Okay, look, I'm gonna say this one time only." He pointed at the couple. "So listen up." He clenched his jaw, angry that he was going to do this, angry that he couldn't stop himself. "All that stuff I said the other day about Jackie?" The breath he took wasn't deep enough, but he continued. "It was…it was true, okay?" He shook his head and walked across the room to the stereo, avoiding the looks. He picked up a record and looked at it, though nothing his eyes saw made any sense. " I still…I still love her."

The long silence bugged him, and he turned around to glare at Forman and Donna, who were staring at him. "What? Nothing to say? Not gonna entertain yourselves my mocking me?"

Eric looked at Donna, then summoned his nerve. "No, man. I think we're just…we're just surprised that you're admitting it. I mean, we knew, of course, but you're admitting it. And you're sober. It's just…not really like you."

Hyde scowled. "Yeah, well, things change. People change." He stalked back across the room and sat down hard in his chair, immediately turning his attention to the television and doing everything he could to find his Zen.

_Come on. Come ON! I don't wanna hear whatever it is they have to say. I've already said too damn much already. _

Donna smiled softly at him. "Yeah, well, I for one am glad to hear this. I mean, I've always thought you and Jackie were good for each other."

He cocked an eyebrow, but didn't look at her. "Always?"

She snickered. "Okay, once I got used to the idea. Seriously, Hyde, she's good for you."

He nodded and stared off into space, thinking about Jackie and how her words had convinced him, along with almost killing his best friend, that he needed change. In his weakest moments, when all he wanted was a beer, she always seemed right there, standing next to him on her tiny tiptoes, whispering into his ear. _"You can do it. I believe in you, and still do." _

Like his own Tinkerbelle.

"And I always thought you seemed happy with her. Or," Eric grinned. "At least less pissed off."

Hyde gave a small smile. "Yeah. Less pissed off."

He didn't have to mention the moments she made him absolutely delirious.

"So, how are you gonna get her back?"

"Steven, honey, here are some blankets I want you to pack to take to your new apartment." Kitty Forman tried to hold her tears in as she walked down the basement stairs, but as soon as she reached Steven and dropped the blankets in his lap, they began to fall. She looked sadly at the boy who'd become a son to her. "Oh, Steven, I just really don't think it's a good idea for you to leave right now. Not while you're still hurt and so vulnerable." She tried her best to smile. "Who's going to feed you?"

Hyde smiled. She forgot that he'd worked in a hotel kitchen; he actually could cook. "Mrs. Forman…"

"And who's going to make sure you get enough Tang in the morning?"

Eric cleared his throat and sent Hyde a wicked grin. "Well, I think Hyde's kind of hoping Jackie will do that."

Hyde grinned, then stood up, setting the blankets down on his chair. "Mrs. Forman, I'll be here all the time. I mean, if it makes you feel better, I'll come over for dinner every night. And we'll still be going to our meetings together, right?"

She nodded.

"I just…I gotta do this, Mrs. Forman."

Kitty nodded again, taking a deep breath and trying to slow the hysteria brewing in her stomach. "I know you do, Steven. I just…well, I'm just going to really miss you!" She touched his cheek, then turned and hurried to the stairs.

Hyde watched her scamper up the stairs and sighed. It was going to be hard to live somewhere else, alone, without Mrs. Forman, Red, and Forman. Truth be told, he almost agreed with Mrs. Forman. Being alone…he'd done it before and now he was used to not being alone. Could he handle it? Was he gonna pick up right before he'd been before the accident?

_I believe so much in you, Steven, and I'll see you soon. _

He closed his eyes, took the blankets off his chair and sat down.

Would she still believe in him if…when…she knew about what he'd done? How he'd spent the time while she was in Hawaii? That he'd almost killed Forman, and himself?

**March 10, 1980, outside Fez and Jackie's apartment **

Donna knocked on the door after trying and failing to open it, sighing impatiently. She'd been trying to get a hold of Jackie all day, after Fez told her that he was moving in with Kelso and he and Jackie were through for good. She'd thought Jackie would like to hear about what Hyde had to say about her. True, she was planning on violating Hyde's confidence, but then again, a huge part of her suspected that he actually wanted her to tell Jackie. Counted on it, even. "Come on. Jackie!" she called, knocking on the door again.

At last, the door opened, but it wasn't Jackie standing there. It was a tall, willowy blond dressed completely inappropriately for a Wisconsin winter. Hyde's ex-wife. In Jackie's apartment.

What the hell?

Donna's eyes widened. "Sam? What the…" She looked over Sam's shoulder into the apartment. "Where the hell is Jackie?"

Sam smiled. "She's in the bathroom. Do you want to…" She moved aside, forced to by Donna's intruding form nearly pushing her out of the way. "Come in?"

"Jackie!" Donna called. "Get out here!" She looked again at Sam. "What in the hell are you…oh…OH!" Her eyes closed. "Oh, no."

Hyde said Jackie had brought him something home from Hawaii. That something must be Sam. What in the HELL was Jacking thinking?

The bathroom door opened, and a very pale, sickly looking and feeling Jackie walked out. She gasped when she saw Donna, and her eyes darted guiltily between her and Sam. "Donna. What are you doing here?"

Donna furrowed her brow. Jackie didn't look good at all. She looked as if she'd just thrown up her last seven days worth of lunches. "I came to check up on you. You've been kind of MIA…are you okay? And what is Sam doing here?"

Sam chimed in, a cheesy grin across her face. "Jackie brought me here. She's going to help me get Hyde back."

Jackie glared at her, but then forced a smile to Donna. "I don't have time to talk to you about this right now, Donna. Steven's still at the Forman's, isn't he?"

_Please, Donna, please don't be your stupid lumberjack self and pry! Please don't ask me what I'm doing or why I'm doing it! It's already hard enough! _

Donna shrugged. "Yeah, but Jackie, this…I think you should know something before you…" She gestured at Sam. "Play matchmaker."

Jackie held up a hand. "No. Look, Donna, I know what you're gonna say, and I don't care. I want Steven to be happy, okay?" Her voice rose, and her eyes burned for the millionth time just that day. "This is for the best."

"But you hate Sam, Jackie. You never thought she was good enough for Hyde." Donna glanced at Sam and smiled weakly. "Sorry."

Sam shrugged with a ditzy smile. "That's okay. Who knows? Maybe I'm not."

Jackie looked at Sam for a long moment, her body tensing with even more doubts, but she shook it off. "People change, Donna."

_Please, Donna, please! Don't try to talk me out of it! Because I want to be talked out of it! God, I don't want to do this! I don't want Steven to be with this tramp! _

_It doesn't matter, Jackie. Doesn't matter. He doesn't want you. Sam is the one he's been missing. _

_But what about how he was there for me since the whole Fez and my mom thing? What about the Foto Hut? _

_He was just horny. _

_What about the way he didn't want me to go to Hawaii? _

_He just wanted more sex. Not to BE with me. _

_Face it, Jackie. The minute he married Sam, he forgot all that he had with you. Remember? He stayed with her! He didn't react at all when you got together with Fez. He FORGOT. And the second Sam left, the someone he missed became her, not you. _

Donna looked at Jackie's face, in her eyes. They were dull, sad. Resigned to something. And Donna wondered just whom she was talking about; herself, or Sam. Who had changed? Still, she had to get through that thick skull of Jackie's. Somehow. "Jackie, I get that you wanna help Hyde, but trust me, this isn't the way. If you would just let me tell you what he…"

"NO! Look, we have to go. You ready, Sam?"

Donna grimaced as Jackie grabbed Sam's arm and pulled her out the door, and she turned and rushed to the phone. She dialed quickly, but was met with a busy signal. "Damn it!" She slammed the phone down. So much for warning Hyde. She'd just have to see if she could beat Jackie to the Forman's, and ward off a very determined Jackie before she made a huge, huge mistake.

Right.

That never worked in the past.


	23. Too Late

**Disclaimer:** I don't own.

**Author's Note:** I was going to wait to update, but figured...nah...why? So here's chapter 23. Two more chapters, I think, and an epilogue. Thanks for reading! And for those of you reviewing, a special thanks. You've kept me motivated when I've wanted to quit. :)

**Warning: **A little language.

Clichés and Things They Say

Chapter 23 – Too Late

**March 9, 1980 – the Forman basement **

At the bottom of the outside stairwell, Jackie turned and looked up at Sam, who stood a few steps up. "Okay. You just wait here until I come get you. Deal?" She nodded curtly when Sam smiled at her, and turned to the door. In truth, she had no idea how Steven would react. The reaction she hoped for was also the reaction she dreaded. And she had no idea how _she_ would react.

She opened the door, and felt sharpness in her chest. A crack. Just the beginning, she knew, of what was to come after Sam went running into Steven's arms. She breathed. _It'll be worth it. His happiness will be worth it. _She walked in and saw Steven sitting in his chair. "Steven," she said, trying so manage a smile. "Hi."

Her heart pounded in her ears. He was wearing his Ted Nugent tee shirt. Her favorite. No sunglasses. Clean shaven. God, he looked so good!

Hyde looked up, and immediately, the heart that had been lulled by laziness into a near flat line, began racing. "Jackie, hey." He watched her walk, heading for the couch. She looked beautiful, and yet, something was wrong. She was so tan, but her face wasn't exactly glowing. Her make up was perfect, but didn't hide the circles beneath her eyes. When she reached the couch, she stopped, grabbed the side of the couch and her body seemed to sway as her eyes closed. He stood up and took a few steps. "You okay?"

She took a deep breath and opened her eyes, praying that when she did, the lightness in her head would be gone. It was, and she smiled at him. "Yeah, just…got a little dizzy for a second." And then the nausea was back. She slapped her hand over her mouth and breathed, hoping to God she managed to keep the vomit in.

Hyde frowned as he reached her, and steadied her by taking hold of her shoulders. "Jackie?" He raised his eyebrows as her eyes flickered open. Slightly glazed. "Maybe you should sit down."

"No, no, I'm okay. Really." She smiled and shrugged. "Just jet lagged."

Hyde nodded, though he didn't believe her. "Okay." He didn't lift his hands, and took another step closer to her. Couldn't help it. She smelled so good. And all he wanted was to be here with her.

Jackie's breath sped. Why was he standing so close to her? And still touching her? Not that she minded…at all…but it was going to make this so much harder. She forced herself, with every ounce of strength she had, to back away from him. "Hey, so you know I brought you home something from Hawaii, right?"

Hyde nodded, the disappointment at her back off evaporating. His heart skipped a beat, but he played it cool. Zenned his expression, didn't give anything away. "Yep. What is it? A ukulele?"

Jackie giggled. "No. It's not exactly from Hawaii, but…I think you'll like it." Her mind ordered her to turn around and go get Sam, but something kept her feet cemented, and her eyes locked on his face. Blue eyes that used to look at her just the way they were now; that used to make her feel heady and dizzy, that told her he loved her. Eyes that weren't hers to adore any longer.

Why was he looking at her that way NOW? Like he still…like he had at the Foto Hut…like he had at the airport…like he had when he'd dropped her off…like…like he still….No. No.

_NO, Jackie, NO! _

He watched her expression twist into pain, her tears start to pool in her eyes. The one look that had always, even when he truly hated her, had always broken him inside. "Jackie…" He touched her cheek.

"No. It's okay." The feel of his fingers on her skin burned her, nearly into submission to the feelings that she had to betray. That she'd sworn to betray. For his sake. She stepped backwards, again faking a smile. She was getting used to the feeling, the strain of fake smiles. Good thing. She was in for a lifetime of them. "I'll be right back."

Hyde sighed and shook his head. Where was she going? If it was her she was bringing him, why would she have to leave? _Maybe she's tying a big, red bow around herself. _He smiled. That was a nice image to have in his head.

But the image was quickly gone. The door opened, and Jackie walked in. Followed by another woman. His ex-wife.

"Surprise, Steven."

He looked at Jackie. She was staring at him, her lower lip sucked into her mouth, her eyes wide and waiting. He looked at Sam. She was also staring at him, a sly smile on her face, her eyes gleaming.

And nothing happened inside. Nothing. No movement of his gut, no clenching of his heart. No physical, chemical reaction. Then again, it wasn't surprising. That had never happened to him when she walked into the room. Not like with Jackie.

The only thing he felt when he looked at her was…dead. And he suspected it was because of something else. The reason she was here.

"I'm back, Hyde. Are you glad to see me?"

She took off her coat, but he didn't notice what slutty clothes she was wearing. He had no desire to look at her body. Her face, much less attractive than what he remembered, was more than enough of her.

"In a word, no," he said. His eyes returned to Jackie. "Jackie, what the hell is this?"

Jackie twisted her hands together nervously. Steven had gone Zen, and she couldn't read him. "I…I ran into Sam in Los Angeles, and I…"

"She brought me here for you. So we can get back together again." Sam smiled flirtatiously and stepped towards him. "What do you think, babe?" She reached out, her hand aimed for his chest.

Hyde stepped backwards, away from Sam's advance. "Don't touch me." His eyes remained on Jackie. "So you wanted to play matchmaker, huh?"

Death. This was what death felt like. The tearing of the soul from the body. The aching emptiness between the two where there should be attachment. This girl, this chick, this tiny little, annoying female he'd made the mistake of falling in love with…didn't love him. Wanted him with someone else. Someone not her. Someone the complete opposite of her. Or maybe, just maybe, this was her elaborate way of punishing him for marrying Sam. She'd finally thought up a way to make him pay. Yeah. That had to be it. She was setting him up with the woman she blamed for breaking _them _up. Probably thinking that every time he looked at Sam he'd remember what he'd lost.

Damn. If it didn't feel so shitty, he'd admire the genius of it.

Jackie trembled. His eyes were cold, beyond just calm, detached cold. "I…Steven, I thought that you'd….I thought that you were lonely, and I wanted to…I knew something was wrong, I thought this would cheer you up. I know it hurt you when she left, and I figured…if I brought her back, you could….you'd be….happy."

Footsteps pounded on the inside stairs, but no one moved except Donna running down them. She stopped a few steps above the bottom, slightly out of breath. "Oh damn it," she muttered as she stared at the trio gathered in what looked to be a very awkward triangle. Too late. She'd missed a few lights, and because of that, she was too late.

"Well, you know what, Jackie?" Old habits die hard, and Hyde let the anger take over. It had always been a good defender. Surely it wouldn't fail him now. Because he couldn't let her see. Have the satisfaction of knowing she'd finally broken him. "You can take your surprise and shove it up your ass." He looked at Sam. "And you. I don't know what bullshit Jackie told you, but you and I? Huh uh. Not happening in this or any other lifetime." His voice rose. "So get the hell out of my house!"

The way he tore out of the room, the way his bedroom door slammed startled Jackie, and she jumped, her eyes closing in something close to fear. She hadn't expected the anger, though now, she supposed, she should have. She released her pent breath and looked at Sam.

Sam sighed. "That didn't go so well, Jackie. Maybe I'm wrong, but I don't think he's happy to see me."

Donna finished descending the stairs. "Jackie, _now_ will you let me tell you what I was trying to tell you before? Because you really need to know that…"

"Donna, please," Jackie interrupted, as she started to pace back and forth. "Look, okay, so that wasn't exactly what we expected. Not what I expected." It hit her. "Okay, wait. He's in shock. He's just upset because seeing you again has stirred up old feelings that he's stifled and hasn't dealt with. That's why he's angry. I'll just go talk to him and calm him down." She smiled at Sam. "Sit down. Relax. I'll go talk to him." She headed towards Steven's room.

Donna rolled her eyes. "Jackie, just wait…."

"Shut up, lumberjack! I know what I'm doing!" She stomped off towards Steven's room. When she reached it, for a moment, she hesitated, her hand on the doorknob. She wasn't feeling strong enough for a fight, and somehow, she knew that was what she was in for.

_Come on, Jackie. Just go talk to him. Reason with him. You can convince him. _

She took a deep breath and opened the door. He was standing at the other end of the room, facing the shelving, apparently trying to calm himself down. She stepped in and softly closed the door behind her. "Steven…"

"Why did you bring her here, Jackie? God, Sam? She's the last person I want to see!"

His voice, surprisingly, was more bitter than angry, and Jackie felt a little bit safer. His rage wasn't something she relished, unless, of course, it was directed at someone he was defending her against. "I thought it would make you happy. That's why. I thought…" She took a long breath. "Look, you're just in shock right now. Sam hurt you, I know that, and it's gonna take some time. But she wants you back."

Hyde closed his eyes. Every word she spoke seemed like a serrated knife to his chest, tearing cute little Jackie-heart patterns in his heart. She thought this was about his so-called pain over losing Sam. Couldn't she see? After the Foto Hut, god, didn't she _know_?

"If you give her a chance, I know that you'll…you'll see that this is a good thing."

He turned around, and Jackie bit her lip. His eyes flashed, but not anger. With hurt. And that confused her, because it was hurt directed at her. Not Sam. _She'd_ somehow been the one to hurt him. This wasn't leftover pain that Sam had left. "Steven…"

"Don't you get it, Jackie? When you told me you'd brought me something home from Hawaii, I thought you were talking about _you_! I was an idiot! I thought…the Foto Hut, those postcards, I believe in you, Steven…I thought you wanted to get back together!"

He stared at her, the most beautiful girl…woman…he'd ever seen, the one who'd managed to penetrate him in every way possible. His body tempted betrayal, wanting to breathe hard, to pace wildly, to gesture with his hands in nonsensical signs, to release the hurt. For so long he'd just assumed that she loved him. That even though she'd hurt him and he'd hurt her, even though he'd married someone else, she loved him.

Now he knew otherwise. And it hurt like hell.

The steel inside of him kept the pain in check, but for the slight and acidic slip of his tongue.

Jackie trembled. Her stomach, her heart were turning somersaults around one another, twisting and turning and cartwheeling her towards a delirious thought. "But Steven, you're so upset…if you thought it was me…." He turned away from her, lowered his head. She heard him exhale raggedly. He seemed…defeated.

It hit her hard. In the face.

If the thought of her wanting him back disgusted him, he wouldn't be acting this way. He'd be relieved. Not turning from her. Hiding from her.

Everything around her changed colors. Everything turned brighter, lighter. Even the weakness she felt seemed heavenly. And all because suddenly, that flicker of hope she'd done her best to snuff out was raging fire all around her. All around everything.

He did love her. Her. _Her. _

"Steven," she breathed, walking to him. She put her hands, still shaking, on his waist. "You…you wanted it to be me. You…" Tears filled her eyes, but the wetness was warm, not hot, soft, not stinging. "You want _me_ back."

Hyde closed his eyes. Her touch, like always, was defrosting him, leaving him vulnerable to her. The tears in her voice, the same. He let this go on much longer, if he enjoyed the feel of her fingers on his sides for even one more minute, he'd spill. And she'd ruin him. One deep breath, one long blink of his eyes, clench of his fists, and the ice was back. He turned around and without looking at her, brushed past her. "Forget it. Just get the hell out of here." He stood by his bed and waited.

Jackie shook her head, though he wasn't looking at her. "No, Steven, just…"

"Fine. You're not going to leave? Then I will!"

She wanted to follow him, to catch his arm, pull him to her and tell him that she loved him so much it petrified her, and that's why she was fixing him up with that skank. Kiss him until he believed her. But her body didn't move immediately, and just a few seconds later, after she heard the basement door slam closed, when she could move, it was too late. He was gone.

And she knew what he was thinking. That she didn't love him. He probably even thought her plan to set him up with Sam was some sort of elaborate revenge plot. With that boy's incredible stubbornness, she'd never be able to convince him otherwise.

It was too late.

She walked out of Steven's room in a daze. He loved her. Steven loved her.

She couldn't lose him again. She couldn't go through that pain again. Somehow…

"Jackie? Do you think I should just go back to LA? Or to Chicago? I just don't think that Hyde's gonna come around."

"Time," Jackie mumbled. The dizziness was back, and she gripped the back of the couch, closing her eyes. Breathed. Over and over again. Slowly. "We just need…time."

She and Steven needed time…to talk…to explain…to confess…to heal…to love…

"Oh, okay. I can hang around a few more days, not like I have anything better to do. I really don't like bartending in an airport."

Donna glared at Sam. "Well, you could always go back to stripping." She looked at Jackie. "Jackie…."

Jackie shook her head, staring straight out in front of her, seeing Steven's face. "Just need time. It just can't...can't be too late."

**A few hours later, the Forman basement **

Donna's eyes weighed heavy on him, and Hyde smirked. He knew what she was thinking. "Don't worry. I gave my keys to Forman. I ain't going anywhere." He took another, final swig of the beer in his hand and leaned forward to set it down next to the empty can on the table. Two. Not bad, considering that he wanted an entire case. Or three. Anything to forget about Jackie and her goddamn surprise.

Donna sighed and sat down on the couch. Hyde had retreated; glasses back on, familiar position on his chair – arms crossed, legs up - , beer. "Look, Hyde, Jackie meant well. I mean, whatever you're thinking, she wasn't trying to get revenge on you or whatever. Jackie thinks you probably think that."

Hyde swallowed. God, that chick knew him too damn well.

"She was trying to make you happy, Hyde. All she kept saying, in between sobs, was that she wanted you to be happy. She was all, 'I just want Steven to be happy. He's such a poor orphan boy, he's had such a hard life, he deserves to be happy.'" She grinned. "Okay, that last part wasn't exactly what she said, but seriously, Hyde. She got it in her head that you were lonely, and that you wanted Sam back, and did the math."

Hyde finally moved, to give Donna a glare. "Why in the hell would she think I wanted Sam back?" He stood up, finally unable to keep his frustration in, and began pacing. "Was it when I kissed her? Or when I had sex with her?" The words fell without any thought at all.

Donna's eyes widened, but she said nothing.

"Or maybe it was when I kissed her at the airport and damn well near begged her not to go to Hawaii. Sure, I can see how she'd think I wanted _Sam _back!" He pointed at Donna. "And if she wanted me to be happy, why didn't she fucking stay when I asked her to? Huh?"

"Okay, I can't tell you why she went to Hawaii. I can't tell you why she thought you wanted Sam back. All I know is that she did. You know how Jackie is. She gets something in her head; it takes a nuclear explosion to convince her that she's wrong." Hyde stopped pacing, stopping by the stereo, and she stood. "Look. All I'm saying is that she did this, as stupid as it was, because _she_ loves _you_."

He closed his eyes and shook his head. "How do you figure that, Donna?" he spit. "She loves me, so she tries to fix me up with another chick? One she hates?"

"She wanted to marry you, Hyde. I think more than she's ever wanted anything else in her life." Donna shrugged. "Except maybe money, but then again…."

Hyde's back stiffened. "I don't need this crap, Donna."

"Just listen. She wanted to marry you, but you married someone else. It broke her heart, Hyde. Can you imagine how hard it was for her to ask Sam to come back to Point Place? Knowing she was going to have to watch you with her all over again? But she was willing to. She was willing to try to put aside her own feelings, her pride, for you. So you could find happiness, even if it meant she had to suffer. Do you have any clue as to how damn hard that was going to be for her?" She sighed sadly; just like always, Jackie and Hyde had made a fricking mess. "She didn't know how you felt…feel…about her. It was the only thing she could think of to do for you."

Hyde's stomach tossed and turned. "I didn't…I never asked her to," he said, but quieter. He remembered how Jackie used to look at him when Sam was still around. He remembered the letter she'd written to him. The one he'd torn up in front of her after reading it out loud to Fez and Kelso, and….Sam. The way she tried so hard to not lose her composure in that moment, and the way she'd failed. The way Sam had laughed at her.

After that, she stopped looking at him.

"No, you didn't. But she still did it."

He didn't understand it. How could she want to do this? How could she possibly want to put herself through it all again? How could she stand the reminder?

"Because she loves you, Hyde. She really, really loves you. More than, and this is really surprising, I know, but she loves you even more than she loves herself."

_Unconditionl. Sacrifice. Come on, don't be so surprised. She was going to sacrifice her entire career for you, if only you'd said something other than "I don't know." _

He turned around slowly and looked at Donna, lifting his shoulders in a shrug as helpless as he now felt. "I don't know what I can do. It's just…too late."

Too late to make up for everything he'd done, all the countless times he'd hurt her. Too late to show her what she'd actually meant – and still did - to him. He had no credibility. Not after all he'd done.

Donna smiled and walked over to her friend. She put her hands on his shoulders. "You know what? I don't think it'll ever be too late for you and Jackie."

**Three hours later, Jackie's apartment **

Sam's words repeated themselves over and over again as Jackie paced in front of the bathroom door, checking her watch with every turn.

_"You know, you're almost as sick as my sister was when she was pregnant." _

She'd said it just before leaving to go to a bar or something, Jackie wasn't sure, because all she heard was that one word.

Pregnant.

It would explain a hell of a lot.

Now, she waited for the test to be done. She looked at her watch, and her heart stopped. Time was up. She went into the bathroom, picked up the test, and without allowing herself to chicken out, looked at it.

Pink. Pink meant pregnant.

Jackie looked in the mirror at herself. She was pregnant. With Steven's baby.

She watched her face crumble.

Now what was she going to do?


	24. The Truth Shall Set You Free

**Disclaimer:** I don't own.

**Author's Note:** Well, I had to split up the last chapter. So this is the second to last, the next will be the last, and then a little epilogue. Thanks so much for reading and reviewing! I hope you guys enjoy this chapter. I did. :)

**Warning: **Language, a little violence (nothing too graphic)

Clichés and Things They Say

Chapter 24 – The Truth Shall Set You Free

**March 10, 1980 – the Forman basement **

Just as quickly as he'd packed them, Hyde unpacked the boxes in his room, though in a much more frantic way. He tossed shirt after shirt over his shoulder, not caring in the slightest where they landed. He had to find that letter. It was here somewhere, in one of these boxes. He had to find it. As soon as possible. It was all he could think of, and maybe it wouldn't work. Maybe it would only bring bad memories back to her, make her hate him.

But maybe it would show her what he wanted her to know, that he'd never gotten over her, despite himself. That for all his disdain for her, and his words and actions aimed at deliberately hurting her, he'd never been able to kill the love.

He was gonna tell her the truth. And maybe it would solve this. Didn't they, whoever "they" was, say the truth shall set you free?

He growled softly as he threw another box aside. "Damn it, where is it?"

"So I take it you changed your mind and are staying here after all?" Eric leaned against the doorway and grinned at his friend, who appeared to be having some sort of nervous breakdown. He was flushed and frantic, and it amused Eric. "Damn it, Hyde, all that fricking work we did packing up your stuff was for nothing?"

Hyde glared at Forman. "Shut it. I just…I gotta find something." He turned away and resumed his search.

Eric shrugged. "Oh, hey. Thought you'd like to know that your ex-wife is out in the basement hoping to see you."

Hyde dropped the jeans he was about to toss aside with a groan. "Damn it, what in the hell does she want?" He shook his head and quickly brushed past Forman. Had to get rid of her. For good. Apparently, he hadn't made himself clear the day before. When he reached the main room of the basement, he stopped and rolled his eyes. Typically, Fez and Kelso were hanging all over Sam, both of them looking at her like she was some sort of goddess. And she was eating it up. He smiled. "I guess you didn't want to see me after all, eh, Sam?"

Sam's eyes widened, and she pushed her way out of the Fez/Kelso sandwich she'd been standing in. She pranced over to him with a bright smile that despite being real, looked fake. "Hyde. I wanted to talk to you. Look, I know that when I left I hurt you…"

He held up a hand. "Don't flatter yourself. I wasn't hurt when you left, okay? And I don't…" He rolled his eyes. This conversation was beyond unimportant to him. He had a letter to find, and a girl to make the world up to. "Look, I don't have time for this. Why don't you just…just do a striptease for Kelso and Fez or something? I'll even put some music on for you." He strode to the stereo, put a record on, and to his amazement, when he turned back, he found her shrugging and moving to stand in front of the couch, where Kelso and Fez, squealing like two little girls, sat with their backs straight. She'd taken him seriously. All Hyde could do in response was laugh and head back to his room.

He had better things to do than to watch a slut take her clothes off.

**Same time, the top of the outside stairs to the Forman basement **

Jackie stood at the top of the stairs, her eyes closed, her stomach and heart back-flipping. She'd come over her in a bit of a trance, knowing she had to talk to Steven, knowing she had no idea what she would say. How could she tell him she was pregnant without sending him reeling away from her? Possibly…probably…forever. He was going to freak. If just the possibility of marriage had scared him off as it had, what in the hell would impending parenthood do? And even if he did want to be with her, would it be because of the baby? Only because of the baby?

She couldn't raise a baby alone. She didn't even have a job. And her parents….right.

Abortion had crossed her mind, for half a second. She couldn't do that. Couldn't get rid of her baby. Steven's baby.

Adoption? No. She couldn't give her baby – Steven's baby – to a stranger.

She had to tell him.

The truth would set her free, whether for better or worse. Whether she lost him or gained him.

She took a deep breath and opened her eyes. She'd never been this frightened before. She put a hand on her belly, rubbed gently and looked down at it. "Okay, baby," she whispered. "We gotta tell your daddy about you. I just hope…god, I just pray…" Her voice broke, and she closed her eyes against a new round of tears.

Before she could stop herself, she began to walk down the stairs.

When she walked inside, the world stopped. There was Sam, in front of the television, doing a dance that Jackie guessed she'd learned from the other whores she used to work with. On the couch, grinning and giggling like complete morons, were Michael, Fez, and Eric. Sam shimmied up and down, turned around and gazing back over her shoulders at the guys, pulling the strap of her shirt down her shoulder.

She was going to strip. Right there. For Steven's best friends. Not caring if it would bother Steven or not. Not caring a damn about Steven. Not wanting to share her body with only Steven.

The way Jackie did.

_Steven. _

"What in the hell are you doing?" Jackie hardly recognized her voice. She dropped her purse, and feeling almost robotic, driven by some invisible force, she stalked to the blonde bimbo and pushed her. Sam stumbled backwards slightly. "I was trying to get you back together with Steven, and you're here stripping for his best friends?" She pushed Sam again, harder this time, and the stripper tumbled back to the deep freeze.

"Whoo hoo! Cat fight!"

"Damn, this'll be better than just a stripper!"

"Sexy!"

Jackie whipped a glare at the panting morons on the couch. "Shut the hell up! All of you! Before I kick you in places you really enjoy having!"

Kelso leaned to Eric. "Damn, Eric, she's been hanging out with Donna too much."

Eric nodded, and the three boys cowered and leaned back on the couch, shutting their mouths.

Jackie turned back to Sam, who was frowning and beginning to speak. "No! You shut the hell up, too!" She took a few steps towards the slut, pointing at her. "I should never have helped you, because obviously you don't care about Steven. You were just gonna hurt him again, weren't you? You…You never knew what you had in Steven!" She chuckled. "You never knew how lucky you were to have him. He married you! He stayed married to you, even though he knew that I…." Hot tears, a mix of pent up rage and residual pain, filled and overflowed her eyes. She could feel the way her face collapsed, and she began to sob. So long…so much pain…so long trying to put him behind her….so much hurt. "You know what? For eight months, I cried every night."

Hyde slipped quietly into the room, standing just outside his bedroom doorway, and watched Jackie tell his ex-wife off.

"I cried every single night, because I knew that he was with you and not me." Such long nights. Endless nights thinking about him, missing his touch, wanting so desperately to hear his voice. And knowing that he was probably whispering things to Sam he used to whisper to her. Jackie's entire body screamed with pain. Emotional pain morphed into physical. And the scornful look on Sam's face infuriated her. More tears. "Every night I went to bed alone, and he went to bed with you. And I…" She took a ragged breath. "I hated you so much, but I wanted to be you. All I wanted…was to be you."

Hyde closed his eyes and tried to breathe.

_God, Tinkerbelle. _

"I just wanted to be you…so I could be with him. So I could be the one…"

She broke down, burying her face in her hands.

Sam shook her head slightly, unsure of how to deal with the blubbering brunette. "I…it's not like I purposefully set out to steal him from you, Jackie."

Jackie looked up. "That's not the point, Sam, god! Don't you get it?" She began pacing, still crying, shaking her head. "The point is Steven! Did you think about how he'd feel about you stripping for his friends?"

"Uh, Jackie, he actually told her to."

"SHUT THE HELL UP, MICHAEL!"

Hyde knew he should probably admit that Kelso wasn't lying, but he didn't. Instead, he stood still, watching his tormented little Tinkerbelle. Wanting to kiss her hurt away, knowing that it was going to take a hell of a lot more than kisses.

Praying that he could do whatever it would take, for the first time in his life.

Jackie took several deep breaths, and the sobs subsided somewhat, though tears continued cascading. She looked Sam in the eyes, and saw nothing. No regret, no anger, no pain, nothing at all. She shook her head. "I'm not helping you. I'm not going to try to get Steven to forgive you, because you'll hurt him. You'll end up leaving him again. You don't give a damn about him at all. Not if you'd do this to him. You hurt him when you left, because for some reason, he cared about you."

Hyde shook his head slightly.

_Not as much as I cared…care…about you, Tink. _

Sam raised her shoulders. "You left him, didn't you? You ran off to Chicago." She smirked. "That's right. Hyde told me all about it. How you gave him an ultimatum, then took off with another guy." She rolled her eyes. "So I wouldn't talk about hurting him if I were you. You're no saint where that's concerned."

Jackie smiled sadly, and her voice came out low and wispy. "I left because I thought I'd lost him. I thought he didn't want me. You…" Fresh tears. "You left when you still had him. I never would have…" She closed her eyes. Memories moved past her closed lid, so quickly she only caught tiny glimpses, but so huge her heart throbbed with the bittersweet-ness of having fallen in love with Steven. Eyes still closed, she turned her head away from Sam. "I…god, I loved him…I…I still love him."

Hyde barely heard the whisper, but felt the words with the same intensity he'd felt his face landing hard in the steering wheel of the El Camino. She still loved him. _She still loves me. Still. Loves me. _He closed his eyes again. Warm. So warm inside now. Like she used to always make him; warm.

_God, Jackie. _

Jackie looked at Sam, and the few seconds burst the anger in her chest. Like lightning, she lashed out. "I love him, and you….you're just a whore who doesn't deserve Steven." She breathed hard, started to pant as the fire began to burn. Too much. Too hot…too electric…. "God, Sam, I hate you so much!" With a cry, she lunged towards the blonde, undeterred by the fact that the stripper towered over her by a good foot. She took hold of the bony shoulders and with all her strength, threw Sam to the side.

"Oh, YES!"

"Now THAT'S more like it!"

"God, this is so sexy!"

Sam stumbled backwards and Jackie pulled her back up by her wrist. She grabbed a handful of blonde hair with her left hand and jerked downwards so Sam's face was at the perfect level for slapping. And gritting her teeth, summoning all her hate, remembering every time she'd ever had to see this slut all over Steven, she reared back and laid a right hook into Sam's poorly, whore-like made up cheek. When Sam tumbled to the ground, she followed suit, straddling the whimpering tramp and shaking her shoulders. She screamed insults, or at least what she thought was insults. She was so gone, so lost in her hate, she couldn't interpret what words were coming out of her mouth.

At first, Hyde was awed into paralysis by Jackie's ferociousness. Sure, he'd seen it before. But then, she'd been fighting over Kelso. Now she was fighting over him. For a moment, that knowledge left him dumbstruck.

But after a moment, he knew he had to break up the cat fight. Someone might end up dead. He hurried towards the wrestling girls, glared at the idiots on the couch whose only contributions to this whole scene were catcalls and cheers. Sam had managed to get the upper hand, and had Jackie pinned to the floor. Just as Sam was about to slap the still crying, flushed and cussing Jackie, he pulled her by the waist and dragged her off Jackie, dropping her on the floor a few feet away. "Okay, stop it. Sam, you stay there." He moved between the girls, both of whom had stood up and were glaring daggers at one another. He noticed a little blood on Jackie's lip, and more blood on Sam's nose. Her left eye was already beginning to swell, and he turned a slight grin to Jackie. "Where'd you get that right hook, Tink?"

"BOOOOOOO!"

Hyde glared at the peanut gallery. "Shut the fuck up!"

Jackie lunged forward again, still full of so much unreleased rage, but found herself pressed back by Steven's hands. "Steven, no!"

"Jackie, just….stop. Stop. Come on, now… Just…go to my room." He stared at her, held her by her squirming shoulders and gripped her tighter until she began to settle down. Her eyes raised to his, and at first, all he could see was the heat of fury. No recognition. But as her breathing began to slow, her sweat began to dry, the flush of her face began to cool, her body relaxed, and her eyes softened. "Just…go to my room and lie down for a little bit, okay?" He frowned. She didn't look quite right, and it wasn't just that she'd just had a chick fight. Her hand was on her stomach, and he wondered if she felt sick. "Go lie down." He touched her cheek, and that slight touch appeared to convince her. She nodded, shot one last hateful glare over his shoulder at Sam, then turned and walked in the opposite direction towards his room.

He sighed and turned to find three pairs of eyes glaring at him. "Get the hell out of here." He looked at Sam, who held her hand over her left eye. "You okay?"

Sam shrugged. "I'll live. But _she_ is crazy, Hyde."

He shook his head. "No, she's just…" He looked at the guys, who again were leaning forward and watching anxiously. He pointed at them. "Get out. Get out NOW." They mumbled protests, but the look he shot them did the trick. Dumb, Dumber and Dumbest scampered out the basement door in a rush.

He turned back to Sam. "Look, Sam, you should just go back to Vegas, or wherever you are now."

Sam raised an eyebrow, still rubbing her bruised eye. "You're not telling me that you're going back to _her_, are you? She's insane!"

Hyde grinned. "Nah. She's just a little high strung." The grin fell. "I just…I wanna be with her, Sam. Last time…" He swallowed. "Last time I made a huge mistake, and I'm not gonna do it again." He shrugged. "I'm choosing the right woman this time." Another shrug. "I…I've always loved her."

He was surprised that she didn't fight. She rolled her eyes, hissed a few choice words at him, then brushed past him. She left the house without even a glance back. Just like the last time.

Hyde stood still and breathed, his eyes closing.

And the truth had set him free.


	25. Third Time's the Charm

**Disclaimer**: I don't own.

**Author's Note:** First of all, thank you so much for the reviews! I was really excited by the response to the last chapter. I've enabled anonymous reviews, so if anyone without an account, if you want to leave a comment, feel free! Okay...Now, I know that not _everything_ is settled in this chapter. But that's what the epilogue is for. So stay tuned! I think you'll like (well, I hope you do) how it comes out. Happy reading!

**Warning:** Language, slight violence.

Clichés and Things They Say

Chapter 25 – Third Time's the Charm

Part of Hyde, the little boy bound and determined to be protected from rejection, hoped Jackie had fallen asleep. He'd watch her sleep, work up his nerve, and maybe when she woke, he'd have found the words. That part of him was bigger than he wanted to admit, and so his steps back to his bedroom were halting. When he reached the closed door, he hesitated. No more putting this off. No more running from the past. No more running from _her_. He put his hand on the doorknob and took a deep breath. Now or never.

He walked in, and Jackie was sitting on his bed, her back to him. "Damn, Jackie, you kicked her ass." She turned, and the slight smile he'd managed quickly faded. Her face was pale, shining with tear streaks, blood on her lip, a few nastily red scratches on her face. And she was holding a piece of paper.

The letter.

He sighed and slowly walked to the cot.

_Here we go. _

Jackie's body quivered when he sat down close to her, close enough their legs touched. Her eyes traveled up and down the paper, taped almost perfectly back together, her own handwriting gazing back up at her. "I…I thought you'd torn this to pieces." The words she'd written had come so easily; her heart literally spilling onto paper. And it hadn't been enough for him to break her heart just once; he'd had to do it again, in front of everyone, even Sam. He'd had to make her look like a pathetic, whiny little girl. She looked at him, and all the anger was back. Beating on Sam was a good release, and some of the pain was gone.

But not all. Not nearly all. The fight and this letter had reminded her.

She stood up, the letter fluttering to the ground as she dropped it, and glared at Steven's blank expression. "I hate you," she whispered shakily. She was dizzy, but tried to breathe through it. Her hand, unconsciously, went to her belly. "I still hate you." Her fingers pressed into her flesh. "Why did you pick her, Steven? WHY? When you KNEW how much I loved you?"

Hyde looked away. The electric flash of anguish in her eyes was something he never could handle. Something about the way she clutched at her mid-section made him squirm. And the way she'd used the past tense killed a huge part of him. Not love. Loved. "I didn't know." He spoke quietly, half-hoping she wouldn't hear him.

"Yes, you DID! How could you not? I told you all the time, Steven! Even though you only told ME once every blue moon!" She began pacing frantically, making little circles on the floor that only increased her dizziness. Nothing around her seemed clear, but it didn't matter. All that mattered was her speedy breath, setting free so much hurt she'd never been allowed to express. "You KNEW I loved you!"

Hyde shook his head, his own anger beginning to heat. "Yeah. And you really showed it when you almost did it with Kelso, right?"

"Damn it, Steven, I told you…"

He stood. "I KNOW what you told me! And I KNOW what I saw, Jackie!"

They stared at one another, both standing still but for risings chests and clenching fists. Both desperate to find a way to break through this wall between them they'd both helped make so strong and thick.

He said the only thing he could think of.

"Do you wanna hit me, Jackie? Will that make you feel better?"

"YES!"

Hyde nodded. He took a step forward, took his sunglasses off and tossed them away. They landed on the floor; he hardly noticed. All his attention was on the tiny little woman looking at him with agony in her eyes. "Go ahead then. Hit me."

Jackie stared at him for a moment, unsure of what to do, until she remembered every single time she'd seen him kiss the woman he'd married. And the scornful way he'd read that letter out loud to almost all their friends. Every single thing he'd said, done, every way he'd looked at her that had killed a little more of her. She rushed to him and began pelting her fists against his chest, sobs breathlessly escaping her chest. "I hate you! I hate you for what you did! I HATE YOU! I HATE YOU!"

He stood as still as he could, wincing. Her tiny fists packed quite a wallop, and he knew there'd be bruises all over his chest in the morning. She kept screaming that she hated him, and the words, like her fists did his chest, beat his heart. Hot tears burned behind his closed lids, and for once, he didn't bother to use all his energy to fight them. He hadn't ever allowed himself to cry over losing her. Hell, he hadn't allowed himself to cry at all for years and years until the accident.

Maybe it was about time he cried over the love of his life.

Jackie's energy faded, and her fists slowed, though she struggled to keep going, to elicit any sort of reaction from Steven. He stood there with no expression on his face, his eyes closed, and she kept pounding. "I hate you…I hate you…I…" And then his eyes opened. Blue eyes full of tears staring straight at her. Pain she'd never seen in them before. Her heart, her anger, her everything dissolved, and her hands spread on his chest, her fingertips clinging to his tee shirt in order to keep her on her feet. Her legs felt like nothing. She could only feel his tears. "Steven…"

She was in his arms, and immediately, despite the soreness of where she'd battered him, he pulled her in tight. Her body melded into his, practically became his property, and it made him both ache more and feel slightly better. He tried to breathe, but it was more of sob as he turned his face into her sweet-smelling, kitten-fur soft hair. His lips moved over her earlobe. "I'm sorry. I'm just…sorry." He felt the tear fall from his eyes. "For everything, Tinkerbelle."

She could have stayed right there forever, but something pulled her back, out of his warmth, but not far enough that she completely lost it. She smiled shakily at him, his face full now. Contrition. Regret. Feelings that he'd never been able to deal with or express to her. She took his hand and led him back to the cot. They sat, and she leaned down to the floor to pick up the letter. "I…" She shrugged ruefully and wiped away some tears. "That day…the day you read this to everyone…I've never been so humiliated in my life. I wanted to die. I just…I wanted to be dead. I hated…I hated myself. I hated being me. When you laughed and she laughed."

Hyde swallowed guiltily, his gut twisting. "Yeah, I…I know that feeling."

Jackie looked at him, surprised. He stared out at the floor in front of him, and she noticed the slight twitch in his jaw. "Have you ever…" She realized. "Oh god…was that how you felt when…" Her stomach tightened. "When Michael came into the hotel room?"

He smiled wryly. "And when I saw the two of you on Donna's couch. When he gave you that stupid sweater. When you went with him to that stupid dinner party. Should I go on?"

They sat in silence; Jackie, slightly stunned, angry at herself for not knowing or seeing. Or admitting to herself of any fault in their relationship problems. Hyde, annoyed that he'd confessed.

"Then why did you do it? Make me feel that way?"

Her voice was tiny, the hurt little girl voice that always drove him to insane actions in order to protect her. He sighed. "I don't know. To prove a point, I guess. To you. To Sam. To me." He took the letter out of Jackie's hands and looked at it. Loopy writing, so feminine, words so open and honest, loving despite her pain, everything she was that he wasn't. Bitterness weakened his chest. "And I did, too." He looked at the last line she'd written before her name, and traced his index finger over it as he'd done so often.

"What was that?" As she watched Steven, his expression turned thoughtful, almost nostalgic, and her intense hurt seemed to be muted by her curiosity.

He looked at her, and all the old hang ups were gone. Just gone. Her eyes, blue and green, shone with purity that without even fighting, vanquished the scars of his past. For the first time in his life, honesty felt easy. "That I wasn't over you." The comfort was gone just as soon as he finished the words, and he shifted away from her uncomfortably. "I mean, I kept it."

"Why?"

He looked away, smiling slightly. Of course she'd ask. Of course she'd have to know. Jackie always had to _know_. Faith wasn't her strong suit. Then again, how could he blame her for that? It wasn't his, either. "To punish myself, I guess, at first. And then…" A small hand touched his thigh, just for a moment, and he looked at her again. Those eyes…heaven…and the honesty was back. "It was the last time you told me that you…"

The break in his voice swelled her heart, and Jackie watched, teary-eyed, as his finger traced over those final words.

_"I still love you, Steven, and I know I'll love you until I die. And even after that." _

"The last time I told you that I loved you." She reached out and traced his hand, still hovering over the letter, with her fingertip.

He nodded and shivered at her touch. For so long he'd scorned love, and any and all expression of it. Until she came along and deluged him with it. Then when it was gone, he was left clinging to this letter as if it were some sort of life preserver. He cleared his throat and stood up. "I….hey, do you need something to drink? 'Cause I'm really getting thirsty."

A lie. He needed a break. And maybe some ice for his chest where she'd beat on him. Her lip, too. Looked a little swollen.

Jackie shook her head, abruptly feeling a sharp exhaustion that made her body feel completely thrashed. "Actually, I'm kind of tired, Steven. Do you mind if I lay down for a little while?"

He shrugged. "Whatever." She lay down, snuggling her little body underneath the covers of his bed. "I uh…I guess I'll just go out…"

She smiled at him. Awkward on Steven was always so precious. "No. Stay with me."

He licked his lips. "Okay. Well, then I'll just…" He moved to the chair on the other side of the room.

"No. Come lay down with me, Steven."

She wasn't sure what was to come; if they would be together forever, if they would even be together for three weeks, or even three days. What she was sure of was that she wanted his body near hers, just for right now.

He settled in behind her, his heart racing, and she squirmed backwards to him. He smiled and wrapped his arms around her in a way that was both new and as familiar to him as his own self. Just as he was losing the tension in his body, she turned in his arms, and he was faced with those eyes, those lips, that beautiful face. She gave him a tiny smile, and he noticed the swollen corner. He carefully swept the tip of his finger over the cut. "Does it hurt?" His body filled with the beginning pangs of desire for her. Even a little banged up, she was something even more than sexy.

Jackie shook her head, and nearly swooned because of the heat of his hands splayed on her back, the hardness of his chest against the softness of hers, his toes petting the top of her foot. "No. It's…fine."

His lips brushed hers, like a feather floating over air. Once. Twice.

Her eyes fluttered closed, but after a third and forth kiss, his lips were gone. She wanted to open her eyes in protest, but she was so tired, and couldn't.

"Sleepy, Tink?"

She nodded, but even his voice was becoming far away and misty.

Hyde watched as her face relaxed. She was falling asleep. He smiled. She should be tired. She'd just kicked Sam's ass and given him a good beating, too. She'd earned a nap.

About an hour and a half later, unable to sleep, unable to be that close to Jackie while awake and not want to do things to her, Hyde turned on the stereo and moved to the chair. Elton John sang sweetly, accompanied by a gentle piano, and normally, he would have immediately changed the station. But this song seemed fitting. Besides, if it happened to wake up Jackie, she'd immediately smile. And probably purr an "Oh, Puddin' Pop." He wanted to hear her purr.

She slept, her face relaxed, just a tease of an upwards curve on her lips, her chest slowly rising up and down.

He smiled, and obviously intoxicated by the devil's spell, began mumbling the lyrics along with Elton John, his eyes never leaving her.

"Ballerina, you must have seen her. Dancing in the sand."

That night she'd looked so beautiful, that red dress, the flower in her hair, the look in her eyes when they'd danced. And afterwards, in his bed, she'd trembled. He'd experienced a lot of things with a lot of girls, but none of them had ever trembled that way. Wide eyes, so innocent despite her relationship with Kelso, or maybe because of it.

"And now she's in me, always with me, tiny dancer in my hand."

His own tiny dancer, his own little Tinkerbelle, always fluttering around him. Always caring.

She stirred, and he immediately stopped mumbling, swallowing nervously. The last thing he needed was for her to catch him. She always made such a big deal about this song, especially after it had come on the radio that same night, just as they started.

He frowned as she sat up, once again putting her hand on her stomach and rubbing tiny circles. Was that just a nervous habit she'd somehow picked up? Or did she feel sick?

Jackie rubbed her eyes and smiled at Steven. She decided to pretend she hadn't heard him singing along to their song. "What are you doing over there? Come back. I'm cold." She pouted.

He grinned and went back to the bed. They settled in, face to face, and Jackie's eyes danced. Her hand circled on his chest.

"Hold me closer, tiny dancer." She giggled.

He rolled his eyes. He'd been busted. "Shut it." His arms tightened around her. For a few moments, they just lay there, saying nothing. "So…did you really wish you were Sam?"

Jackie's smile faded, and she sighed. The feeling, despite the months that had passed, was still so intense. "Yeah." Her shoulders lifted up. "Can you imagine that? Me, as beautiful and amazing as I am, wished she was a slutty stripper!" She tried to sound unaffected. And failed. Her eyes closed.

Hyde swallowed, said nothing. What could he say?

"It just…Steven, it killed me that you shared something with her that we never shared. You gave her a part of you that you couldn't give me."

She opened her eyes, and the glistening hurt in them made him have to look away. Why did she have to be so readable? She made it impossible to deal with things, with her pain, because she made him feel it. And when she released a tiny sob, turned away from him and scooted as far as she could to the edge of the cot, away from him, it was even worse. "Jackie…" He rolled over onto his back and tried desperately to think of something to say to her, some way of showing her that it hadn't been easy on him, either. That he'd hated his own choices. "I…I never said her name, you know. During…I mean, while we had sex, I never…said her name."

Jackie sat up, and looked at him incredulously. "What? God, Steven, I don't wanna hear about that!" She tried to scramble over him, off the cot, but he caught her, his arms wrapping around her middle and squeezing her. "No…No….just let me go!" She started to cry. How could he think she'd want to know that? It was bad enough that she'd spent so long picturing the two of them doing…that.

"Jackie, just wait, okay? God, don't you remember?" Hyde held her as tight as she could. "Jackie, I always said _your_ name, remember?"

Her body betrayed her, and she relaxed into his arms, leaning her head back on his shoulder. His head nestled into the crook of her neck, and as he whispered to her, his hot breath slid over her skin. She closed her eyes, and remembered the first time, after the Valentine's dance.

_She was nervous, and she knew her entire body was shaking. He was on top of her, and she couldn't look at him, afraid he'd see how much this meant to her, how frightened she was that she wouldn't be good enough, afraid to see that it didn't mean as much to him. But he forced her to look at him, and when she did, he smiled gently. "Jackie, you sure? You're shaking. If you don't wanna do this, we don't…" _

_"No, I just…I mean, I'm sure…I'm sure, Steven." _

_And later, in the midst of the passionate exchange she'd never quite imagined sharing with anyone, he'd groaned, lifted his head, his eyes closed, and the only thing he could seem to say was her name. He breathed it, moaned it, grunted it…always her name. _

It was always like that. Every time.

"I remember," she whispered.

"Remember the Foto Hut?"

She smiled. "I remember." The kisses on her neck as he moved inside of her, the husky, throaty whisper of her name directly into her ear as things got more and more intense. And afterwards, just as he'd released, the groan of her name that sounded so full and satisfied.

"I never said Sam's name. I never said anyone's name…except yours, Jackie."

Her chest constricted, but not with pain. With hope. She turned over her shoulder to look at him. Her Puddin' Pop. "Did you…" She rubbed her belly nervously. "Did you think about me when…"

He smiled. "Always."

And it wasn't a lie. Whenever his eyes closed, it was always Jackie he saw. Jackie he felt. Jackie he wanted.

She turned to him, their eyes locked, and slowly, they leaned towards one another. Their lips met softly, nibbling for several long moments, until Jackie collapsed into him, her teary eyes spilling onto his neck. They held each other just as passionately as they'd kissed, neither pair of hands staying still.

"Hey, Tink?"

Jackie pulled away, slightly reluctant to leave the strength and warmth of him. She smiled. "Yeah, Puddin' Pop?"

He shrugged. "I just…" He broke off. His fear of intimacy, no matter how beautiful Jackie was, no matter how much she showed him her heart, would always be there.

_Oh, god damn it, just say it! _

The big difference was that he used to be unwilling to do anything about it. Now, all he wanted to do was fight it.

"I love you, Jackie."

All the defense left inside of her, all the atoms screaming for more protection, ordering her to give up on Steven; they all vanished as if they'd never been there in the first place. All the doubts drifted away.

He loved her.

She reached up and touched his face, still bruised. "I love you, Steven. So much."

He kissed her softly, his mouth opening hers, his tongue caressing hers tenderly. She drew him to her, holding his body as close to hers as humanly possible as their kiss deepened. The couple slowly lay back on the cot, and when the kiss ended, Jackie smiled up at her true love.

"Steven?" She giggled as he began lightly biting his neck. She gripped his shoulders.

"Yeah, Tinkerbelle?" he muttered in between nibbles of her soft skin.

"Do you think it'll be different this time?"

He paused and sighed, a little annoyed that she still wanted to talk. He lifted up and looked down at her, and had to smile. She had that little girl look on her face, the one she always used when she wanted to cover up her own hang-ups. He touched her cheek. She smiled sheepishly, and rubbed his back, and he tweaked her chin. "Yeah. It will."

It had to. They were different people. Things they'd done, seen, gone through…it had all changed them. And as cliché as it sounded, that would make all the difference in the world.

He grinned. "'Cause the third time's the charm, Tink."

Jackie giggled. "Steven, I think this'll be the fourth time we've gotten back together." She sat up. "Unless we don't count the get off my boyfriend break up." She batted her eyelashes flirtatiously at him. "It only lasted two hours, anyway."

"Four, but who's counting?" Hyde said. He closed his eyes and enjoyed the way her fingertips stroked his cheeks. "Let's just forget that one." God, her fingers were so soft. His eyes fell shut. Yeah. Right now he'd forget everything just for her touch.

"Steven, you never told me what happened to your face." It bothered her, not knowing what had happened. Why he'd been so banged up. Why Eric had been too. Even Donna had been hushed about it. And truth be told, it was driving her crazy.

He pulled back and looked away. Damn it. If he told her about that, he'd have to tell her about everything.

Jackie watched Steven nervously. He was hiding something, she could tell, and as much as she wanted to push him and insist that he tell her, she didn't. "It's okay if you don't want to…"

Hyde shook his head and looked at her. "No. It's…its not. If we're gonna start over…" He swallowed. _Third time's the charm, Hyde. She's not gonna leave you for this. Not after all the crap we've just gone through._ "I guess I should tell you about what happened when you were in Hawaii."

Jackie's stomach turned, and she again, put her hand over it and rubbed. It wasn't bigger yet, or rounder, but soon. She had to tell him. About the baby, about what had happened in Hawaii. "I…well, I have stuff I need to tell you, too." _He's not gonna leave me. He's gonna want the baby. And me. And he'll be proud of me for not doing what my mother wanted. _

She blinked back tears. It just _had_ to happen that way. After everything, it had to.

**Five hours later **

Jackie lay on her side next to Steven in the cot. He was sleeping, and she smiled. He looked so innocent when asleep. She studied him; the slope of his nose, the curve of his chin, the lashes that fluttered against his skin as his eyes moved under the lids. She watched his breath, and wondered if his mother had ever done that. "No," she muttered. She couldn't have. If she had, she never would have left him. Edna was a fool.

She smiled. She wasn't. Not ever, ever again.

She snuggled back into his shoulder, and his arm tightened around her waist. She giggled softly when his hand patted her rear end. Even in his sleep, he was naughty.

They'd talked. Confessed. Admitted. They'd gone for a drive and screamed at one another in the El Camino. About Sam. About Michael. About things they'd never settled.

But this time, after they'd screamed, they'd talked some more. He'd talked. She'd talked. They'd kissed. Hugged. This time the fight hadn't degenerated into threats and ultimatums, or into bitter, passive aggressive avoidance. Their fights were always like the sun setting, blanketing the entire earth in darkness.

Every time before, the darkness only brought more darkness.

This time, the sun rose again.

She smiled and put her hand on his chest. "I love you so much, Puddin' Pop."

"How much? Enough to do that thing you never wanted to do?"

She swatted at him. "You're awake!"

"Yep." Hyde grinned and opened his eyes, turning to her. "Just in time to hear you gushing all over me."

She rolled her eyes. "Whatever!" She tried to roll away from him, but laughed when he jerked her back into him, pulling her halfway on top of him.

Hyde stared into her beautiful, beautiful eyes, now shining with something happy. With her heart, that now belonged to him again. "You're not going anywhere, Jackie."

She shook her head. "No, I'm not," she said softly, understanding the double meaning of his words. "Ever. Just as long as you're not going anywhere, either."

He smirked. "Not with you on top of me, I'm not." Another swat, another giggle, another kiss.

They kissed, and held on to one another tight.

This time was it. Third time's the charm. That's what "they" said. That's what the cliché reassured.

And after all, clichés and things they say always seem to have the ring of truth.


	26. Happily Ever After

**Disclaimer:**I don't own.

**Author's note: **Here it is, the end! I hope you've enjoyed the story! I want to thank everyone for reading, and especially those who took the time to review! You'll never know how much I appreciate it. And a special thanks to Tanith, for pepping me up when I most definitely needed it. :) I'm still debating over whether to write any more J/H fics. I've got one that I've already started on, and I'm putting in a little preview of that fic at the end of this. If you're interested in reading more, let me know. It's angsty, of course, but in a much different way than this one was.

Thanks so much for sticking with this, and I hope the ending is worth the price of admission, as "they" say. :)

**Warning: **There's a little language.

Clichés and Things They Say

Epilogue - Happily Ever After

**November 29, 1980, Point Place, Wisconsin **

As she awoke, the darkness her closed eyes blessed her with began to brighten, and she squeezed them closed. It was too soon to wake up; the exhaustion in her body hadn't yet been healed. Jackie rolled her head to the side, and despite herself, her eyes opened just slightly. Through the slits, she saw Steven sitting just a few feet away from her in a chair, looking down at the baby in his arms. Their tiny, precious little boy. She smiled wearily, tempted to say something to him, but when he started to talk, she closed her eyes. If he knew she was awake, he'd shut up, and she wanted to listen to his first conversation with his son. She turned her head the other way, the smile still dancing on her lips.

Hyde looked over at Jackie, and for a moment, just stared at her. Twelve hours of labor, nearly an ocean's worth of tears, and more than two dozen nail marks and scratches on his arms and hands, and she'd done it. Given birth to the little body he was holding. He looked back at the tiny boy. Little blue eyes gazed groggily back up at him, and Hyde could hardly breathe. He and Jackie had made those eyes, and every inch of him. It was literally breathtaking.

"So, I think your mom's still sleeping," he said, studying the light brown peach fuzz on his son's head. "Hey, you think you're gonna look more like me or her? Hopefully me, 'cause your mom's beautiful, and I don't want you to end up man-pretty and brain-dead like Kelso." The baby moved, his body shifting, and Hyde's heart skipped a few beats or so. Nothing had ever felt quite like this. "So…." He glanced at Jackie again. Still asleep. He spoke softly, so not to wake her. She was exhausted, he knew, and she needed the rest. "You know, I wasn't really expecting you, little guy. Not that I mind at all. I don't." He smiled gently, and tickled the little guy's tummy. "You're the best surprise I've ever had. I just…I just was…well, surprised."

The baby gurgled, and Hyde wanted to laugh. Mrs. Forman had told him about this, about the giddiness that would come along with each, even the tiniest, first. He hadn't believed her, but now, staring at his son, he completely understood. From the moment he'd first seen the baby, the moment he'd counted the ten fingers, ten toes, he'd felt it. Jackie had too; she'd laughed and cried at the same time as she'd held him, and nearly screamed at anyone but him who'd come near the baby. His little Tinkerbelle; possessive of him and now of their son, too. He wouldn't have it otherwise.

"You wanna hear about how your mom told me about you?" He looked over at his wife again. The pregnancy had been a difficult one, and at one point, the doctor's hadn't been sure Jackie would be able to carry to term. Of course, Jackie insisted that she would. He smiled and shook his head. Like just about always, she'd been right. The baby seemed to cock his head, and Hyde took that as a yes. "Well, we'd had a long night. We'd been doing a lot of talking and a lot of…" He smiled wickedly, remembering, then immediately frowned. Probably didn't need to tell the baby about _that_. "Talking. Just talking. Anyway…."

**March 11, 1980, Hyde's bedroom **

It was times like this that Hyde wished he had a real bed. If he did, he'd be sitting up, leaning against the wall, and Jackie would be sitting in between his legs, leaning back against him. Instead, they sat on either side of the cot. Her legs were crossed Indian style, his were extended, his feet on either side of her. One of her hands rubbed a foot, and even just that small contact with her relaxed him. "So," he started, after a long moment of quiet. "Are you…" He shrugged. Tried to pretend he didn't really care about the answer. "Disappointed in me?"

Jackie shook her head and lifted a small smile to him. What he'd told her hurt, but not the way he thought, though she could have lived without him sleeping with all those girls. Then again, she had no right to complain. And she was still blown away by the fact that he was trying to get his drinking under control. She'd never imagined he would attempt that, and she was determined to do whatever she could to help him. "No, Steven. In fact, I'm so…" She squeezed his foot. "I'm really proud of you. And I'm _really_ glad that you didn't get hurt worse in the accident."

He grinned. "Forman, too, right?"

She rolled her eyes and waved her hand dismissively. "Oh, him too, whatever." Her eyes narrowed, and she pointed at him. "But no more skanks at parties for you, Steven. Got it?"

Hyde leaned forward and grabbed her underneath her arms. She started giggling as he pulled her to him, and they tumbled backwards to the cot. They shifted quickly so he was on his back and she was on top of him. "Got it, Tink."

Jackie rubbed her nose against his. "And I got you," she said triumphantly, following her declaration with a long kiss. After it ended, she lifted up, and her smile faded. She'd told him everything about Hawaii, and he hadn't yet said much about it. She was nervous, worried that deep down, his opinion of her had changed, that now he saw her as a whore. "Steven, do you…do you think I'm a…" She closed her eyes and looked away. Couldn't bear to say it, though when she thought of the incident, she sure as hell felt like one.

Hyde frowned and rubbed Jackie's slender back. "No. You're not, Jackie. I mean, I understand what you were thinking." He frowned. "And if I ever see that Frederick guy, I'm gonna hurt him. Real bad." He stared up at her. Now he understood the haunting he'd seen in her eyes since she'd come back. Her mother had tried to pimp her out. Taken Jackie's love for her and twisted it to her own purpose. It was sick, and yet, he knew that it hurt Jackie so deeply.

Jackie's eyes filled with tears. "I just…Steven, I wanted her to be proud of me. I wanted her to…" She rolled the spilling eyes. "To love me. God…it was so pathetic. I almost let myself become her just so she'd pay attention to me."

Hyde nodded. "Yeah, but you didn't. You didn't become her." He reached up and brushed tears away. "You're so much better than her, Jackie."

She smiled. Maybe it would be okay without her mother in her life. At least she wasn't alone. She had Steven. And he'd never try to turn her into a whore. "I kept hearing what you said to me at the airport, that there's more to me than what she is." She leaned down and rested her forehead against his. Her eyes closed, and she savored his closeness, his masculine scent, his touch. "I didn't become her because of you."

His hands roamed up and down her backside. "I didn't become Bud because of you." He chuckled. "Kept hearing you saying, 'Oh, Steven, I believe in you. I believe in you.' You know, you really are like Tinkerbelle. Always in my ear."

She tickled his side, and for a few seconds, they wrestled around, both snickering, until Jackie got firm and pressed him down to the cot so he couldn't move. "I guess that means we're good for each other," she whispered, just above his lips.

He smirked and brought his hand to the back of her head. "Guess so."

As they kissed, Jackie realized that she still had one more thing to tell him. One more thing that could change everything, and she pulled away. She rolled off of him and stood up, turning away from him. She had no idea what to expect, and she began to tremble. All she could think was that she very well might lose him if he freaked out. Maybe he wouldn't want to be burdened. Maybe he'd hate her. Maybe he'd accuse her of trapping him.

Hyde watched her pace around his room. What was going on with her? Something else was wrong. Something other than what happened in Hawaii. He sat up. "Jackie, what's going on with you?"

Jackie closed her eyes, took a deep breath, then turned to him. "Steven, I need to know something. I need to know if you're in this for good. Not just until the next fight. I need to know that you're going to make a commitment to me. To us." His expression immediately became annoyed, and she held up a hand. "I'm not asking for marriage, Steven, I just need to know that…" She put both hands on her stomach without realizing it, but the words she wanted to speak wouldn't come.

_I just need to know that you're not gonna leave me. Us. That you're gonna help me take care of our baby. That you're gonna love me and our baby. _

He stood up, wondering why in the hell she had to always push things, why she couldn't just enjoy, even for just a fricking five minutes, without demanding things of him. And then he noticed her hands, rubbing circles on her stomach. She'd been doing that a lot, all night.

Rubbing her belly. Like there was something there she wanted to protect.

Everything around him stopped. His heart stopped.

Something in her stomach. It was either a stomachache, or…a baby. And a stomachache didn't make sense.

"Jackie, are you…" He cleared his throat. "Are you…" Zen was nowhere to be found. "Are you pregnant?"

She nodded. "Yes."

He nodded. "The Foto Hut?" It had to be. She hadn't slept with Fez, she'd just told him that, and no one in Hawaii. Only him. Only that one day.

"Yes."

He stood paralyzed, a million thoughts, a million feelings flashing through him so rapidly he couldn't comprehend anything. A baby. A baby.

A baby!

_I don't know what to do…what to say…don't know….god, I don't know… _

His mouth opened. "I…god, I don't…I don't know….what to…I…don't know…"

And to Jackie, it was their Christmas break up all over again. He didn't know. Of course he didn't know. He would NEVER know. She turned, releasing a little sob as tears began to fall, and rushed out of the room.

He didn't know.

Hyde blinked rapidly as she, in seeming slow motion, turned from him.

_"You'll find out someday. You'll knock up some whore and she'll back you into a corner. And then you'll see that it ain't that fucking easy! When it happens, you'll find a way to bail." _

No. He shook his head. Bud was wrong. Dead wrong. He DID know. He knew he loved Jackie. He knew he wanted Jackie. He knew he wanted…needed…to be with Jackie. He knew he wanted the baby. Her baby. His baby. _His_ baby. _Their_ baby.

He was nothing like Bud.

With a grunt, he followed Jackie, taking long strides that were bound to catch up to her quickly. He reached her in the main room of the basement, near the stereo, and he grabbed her arm. "Jackie, just wait a damn second, okay?"

She whirled around and glared at him, now too angry to even cry. "Why? So you can tell me again that you don't know? I'm sick of hearing that you don't know, Steven!"

Neither of them noticed Eric and Donna sitting on the couch, now both turned around to watch the show.

Hyde shook his head. "No. So I can tell you that I DO know. I just…I was shocked. I know, okay? I know." He swallowed hard. "I know. Said I didn't, but…I know." He gripped her hands tightly, hoping to prevent her from squirming away from him. She could. She could be strong when determined, despite her tiny form.

Jackie stared at him. It was so familiar; she'd heard him say that before. Right here, in this room. Months ago, when he was sleeping…when she'd forgotten her purse and come back to get it…he'd been on the couch, asleep, dreaming and mumbling in his sleep. He'd said almost exactly that.

Her heart swelled.

He'd been dreaming of her. This whole time, it had been her.

"It was me," she whispered, stepping closer to Steven and gazing adoringly up at him, her resistance, her anger all melting. "You were dreaming of me!"

Hyde furrowed his brow. What in the hell was she talking about? "Jackie, what are you talking about?"

She shook her head, her entire body now dancing motionlessly with excitement. "Never mind. It's not…just…go on!"

He shrugged and grinned. She could be a trip sometimes. "I just…" His grin fell. "I know that I wanna be with you, Jackie." He let go of her hands and slightly hesitantly, put one of his on her stomach. "And…whoever else comes along."

Jackie looked up at him, her eyes teary, but happily so. "You mean it, Steven?"

He nodded and brushed her cheek. "I mean it."

Donna gasped and jumped off the couch, pointing at the couple. "Jackie! You're pregnant?"

Eric looked shaken. "Holy CRAP! You got her pregnant? JUST NOW?"

Hyde and Jackie both glared at the two. Hyde growled at them. "Will you two get the hell out of here?"

They did, heading towards the inside stairs, sneaking looks behind them at Jackie and Hyde as they went.

After they were gone, Hyde looked back at Jackie. "So…" He grinned when she snuggled up to him, with an "oh Puddin' Pop" to boot. He held her close. "Hey, just because you're pregnant doesn't mean we can't do it, does it?"

She giggled and pulled away, giving him her most seductive smile and arching her back. She began tugging him towards his bedroom. "Let's go find out!"

**November 29, 1980 **

Jackie smiled and forced herself to suppress the giggle in her chest. Couldn't let Steven know she was awake. Not yet. Maybe he'd tell the baby some more. She closed her eyes and relaxed happily into the bed. She'd been nervous about Steven's reaction to the baby; he'd never really been around children. And he wasn't exactly known as a giant teddy bear type guy. But apparently, he was a natural, at least with his own child. Funny, for someone so opposed to talking, he seemed to be a regular chatterbox with the baby.

Hyde grinned at the baby he held. "See, it didn't hurt you. You're…" His fingertip traced the miniature face, the chubby cheeks, tiny pug nose, little lips of his son. "You're perfect." He looked over at Jackie. She hadn't moved, still slept, and then turned back to his son with a mischievous smirk. "Okay, I'm gonna tell you what happened next. But you can't tell your mom. She'll think it scarred you for life." He arched an eyebrow. "If it does, I guess I'll just give you the El Camino when you turn sixteen. We got a deal?" The baby blinked, and Hyde smiled. "Good."

**March 12, 1980, Hyde's bedroom, early morning **

The good thing about the cot was that it was small, and forced any two people who shared it to be very close, and both Jackie and Hyde, in this moment, appreciated that fact. They lay facing one another, her hands on his chest, his on her back. He smiled at her sleepy gaze. She was so quiet, she always was after sex, but this time, even more so. "You're quiet. Not that I want you to start talking or anything," he teased.

She pinched his chest. "Shut up. I'm just…" She looked into his eyes, and wondered if their baby would inherit them. She hoped so. "I'm just surprised that you're not freaking out."

He shrugged and gently rolled her over to her back. He pushed down the blanket and stared at her naked body. He could see a few changes in her, and he knew there would be more to come. He put his hand on her stomach. "Oh, I will. Probably really soon. But...I don't know. Right now I just can't. It just seems like…" He rolled his eyes at himself. "Seems like it's meant to happen this way, you know? I mean, we both just went through crap that had to do with our so called parents…" Her eyes lit up, and he groaned. He was in for it now.

"Awww! My Puddin' Pop is getting all sappy!"

He glared at her. "Shut up!"

She laughed as he pulled away from her and rolled over so that his back was to her. She scooted over to him and pressed herself against him, sliding one arm underneath him and throwing the other over him so she trapped him to her. She stroked his chest, her finger tangling slightly in his chest hair. "So, Steven, do you want a boy or a girl?" She inhaled and closed her eyes. His scent, so masculine, was nothing short of delectable, and the feel of his body, skin unhampered by clothing, was really starting to get to her.

He licked his lips and tried to concentrate on her question, but it was difficult, what with her every inch sealed against him and her hands meandering restlessly on his chest and stomach. "Uh…"

He thought of Kelso's dad playing catch with Kelso. Red attempting to play catch with Eric. Bud telling him he wasn't going to play, to quote, "fucking catch", with him.

"A boy. Definitely a boy."

Jackie pouted. "I want a girl." She arched an eyebrow. "Can we have a girl? Please, Steven?" She peppered his shoulder with sweet butterfly kisses, but soon her initial intention of convincing him to want a girl was gone. In its place was an arousal that she knew she'd never defeat. Her hands moved lower on the front of him as her mouth became more aggressive, nibbling and licking him.

Hyde moaned, and when her hand reached his erection, rolled over quickly, sending her to her back and quickly getting on top of her. "You know what?" he whispered huskily, just before kissing her lips. "Right now, all I want is my woman."

Her giggle was swallowed by his deep, passionate kiss, and she didn't care at all. They'd have whatever they had, and it would be perfect. It would be happily ever after.

**November 29, 1980 **

"Just for the record, I wasn't sappy. I just wanted to get some more action from your mom. Not that you really wanna hear about that." Hyde smiled down at the baby. His son. He had a son. A tiny little person, completely dependent on him and Jackie for everything he needed. His smile faded. He'd been a son this tiny and dependent once, but it hadn't kept his parents around. Same with Jackie. He never wanted his baby to feel that kind of pain. "So here's the deal, little guy. Your mom and I…well, we didn't exactly have great parents. Basically we were both orphans." The baby's eyes seemed focused on him, though Hyde knew he couldn't yet see clearly. Even so, he stared directly into them, mirror images of his own. "I just want you to know that I might get mad. I might screw up. You might drive me crazy. But…I will never leave you." He shrugged. "I can't. I gotta stick around and see if you inherit the magic 'fro." He gently rubbed the baby's head. "Seriously, I'll never leave you." He looked over at Jackie. She'd turned her head back towards him, and she looked so beautiful. Angelic. And he'd never loved her more, until maybe five minutes from now. "Or your mom. I promise you that, buddy." He leaned down and gently kissed the baby's forehead.

Jackie's eyes were teary when she opened them, and she smiled lovingly at her husband. After she'd nearly miscarried, nearly died, a few months into her pregnancy, he'd proposed, and they'd married in a quiet ceremony with just enough fanciness to make her feel like a princess. She watched him rock their baby, that tender smile on his face only she got to see. "Good to know, Steven," she said, sitting up in her hospital bed.

Hyde snapped his head in her direction, and watched her smirk at him as she sat up. He shook his head at the baby. "Your mom is a very sneaky, sneaky chick. Remember that." He looked at her sheepishly. "Guess you heard all of it, huh?"

She nodded. "Yep! Now bring me my baby."

He stood and carried the baby over to her, placing him gently in her waiting arms. He sat down next to her and wrapped an arm around her shoulders, and they both stared down at their child.

"We need to name him, Steven. I was thinking…Keefer." Jackie gazed down at her baby and smiled. He was the most precious thing she'd ever seen; she imagined he looked just like Steven had when he was a baby, and secretly, she hoped he grew up to look like his daddy. "It means handsome and beloved. And I want him to know that's what he is." Her eyes swelled, just as her heart did with so much love. She'd never imagined it was possible to feel this intensely about someone other than Steven. This was different than even that, and she was overwhelmed. "I love you so much, baby boy. And Daddy does, too. And we're not gonna be like our lousy parents. We're gonna love you forever." She looked at her husband. "I want him to know that, Steven."

Their eyes locked, and they shared the same thought.

_Like we never did. _

He grinned. "Keefer. Hey, you know that rhymes with…"

"I know, I know." She shook her head and elbowed him lightly. "Do you like it?"

He squeezed her shoulder. "Keefer Hyde. Yeah, I like it."

Jackie put her head on his shoulder. "Keefer _Steven_ Hyde."

Hyde smiled. "What, no Jack?"

"Nah. He's gonna have my amazing personality, so I thought we better give him your middle name." She lifted her head and smiled flirtatiously at him. "He's gonna be nothing like you, so…"

He leaned down and softly kissed her. "Nothing?"

Jackie's entire body shivered. His kisses always did that. She spoke with her face lifted, her eyes still closed. "Maybe a little bit…"

Another long kiss for the new parents, until Keefer began to cry. Jackie sighed. "Maybe he's hungry."

Hyde got off the bed and watched as she prepared to nurse their son.

Jackie adjusted the baby, trying to remember what the nurses had shown her, and smiled triumphantly when Keefer began suckling. She looked at Hyde. "I did it!"

He nodded, a small smile on his face. "Yep, you did."

"Steven?"

He moved back to her, standing next to her and rubbing the back of her neck. "Yeah, Tink?"

She bit her lip as she watched Keefer eat. "We're gonna be better parents than ours were, aren't we?"

He leaned down and kissed her shoulder. "Of course we are, Jackie. How could we not?" He smirked, but understood her worry. He felt it too.

The door to Jackie's room opened, and Kitty Forman peeked in. "Can we come in?"

Jackie nodded, and within a few seconds, the room was flooded with their friends, with flowers, balloons, and stuffed animals, all anxious to greet the newest member of the family.

Later on, Keefer was sleeping in Jackie's arms, and Jackie was resting in Hyde's. She'd never felt as safe or loved or happy, and she lifted a weary smile to her husband. "Steven, are you happy?"

He nodded, his eyes closed. "I'm happy, Tinkerbelle."

She closed her eyes as well. "So this is our happily ever after, then."

He smiled wryly. "Yeah, for some really screwed up fairy tale."

Jackie giggled and gently rubbed his thigh. "Well, they say that happiness comes to those who wait."

Hyde's eyes opened, and he looked at Jackie in confusion. "That's not what they say. They say that good things come to those who wait."

She pouted. "Well, I say that happiness comes to those who wait! So there!" She giggled. "Come on, that counts. Good things, happiness, what's the real difference?"

He shrugged and chuckled. "Nothing. Nothing at all, Jackie." He leaned down and kissed her, slow and deep, just the way he was planning on loving her for the rest of his life.

Jackie kissed him back, with all of herself. Her heart, her soul, her body, her mind…everything. All that she vowed to give to him for the rest of her life.

The kiss ended, and she smiled at him, remembering everything, good, bad, and the in between, because it had all led to this moment.

"I love you, Steven."

He looked into her eyes, his heaven, and smiled back. He'd come so close to ruining it forever, and yet, by some twist of fate, had won it back. And now, all the pain was worth it. To be here with her and Keefer, it was all worth it.

"I love you, Jackie."

They both looked at the baby.

"I love you, my precious little baby boy."

Hyde grinned. She already sounded a like Kitty.

"Tell him you love him, Steven."

He shook his head, but reached out and put his fingertips on the sleeping Keefer's cheek. "I love you, little guy."

Jackie beamed up at Hyde. "And they lived happily ever after."

He nodded and leaned into her. "Yep. They did."

They kissed.

Keefer's eyes opened, and he looked up to where the familiar voices were coming from. He stretched an arm out towards the two fuzzy forms above him, then closed his eyes again, turning his head towards the softness and warmness of his mommy.

Soon, he was asleep again, dreaming of all that babies dream of, of all that adults dream of.

Happily every after.

**THE END **

**Preview of _Frame_, a Jackie/Hyde future fic (just a little snippet to give you a tiny taste) **

A flicker of movement caught the corner of her left eye. She turned, but only saw what looked like the back of a person retreating behind a miniature mausoleum about fifty feet from where she stood. Her heart stopped beating.

It couldn't be.

She jumped. The hand on her back again. Still cold.

"Sorry, honey. Come on. Time to go."

"I just saw someone. Over there." She pointed towards the building, white concrete shaped into an ornate resting place for some wealthy couple. "Do you…you don't think it's him, do you?"

Her husband's expression remained steely as he gazed across the rows of graves. "Him? Of course not. Don't be silly. It's probably just some bum or something, or a kid who thinks hanging out in a cemetery is cool." A show of affection, rare these days, he kissed her forehead. "Come on. Let's go."

**Interested? Let me know! The reason I'm hesitant about this one is that it's a bit darker than what I've done as far as J/H goes. **


End file.
